2021 Bride/Groom

AppleD

When will ye make a decision on it? We're thinking mid Feb we might have a better idea.
Our wedding is last weekend in April so yes hoping we can have 50 by then.. but most importantly be allowed even some music. Not having a band but just a dj. Think at 25 people, no music or dancing was allowed.

Lollipops23

AppleD wrote: »

When will ye make a decision on it? We're thinking mid Feb we might have a better idea.
Our wedding is last weekend in April so yes hoping we can have 50 by then.. but most importantly be allowed even some music. Not having a band but just a dj. Think at 25 people, no music or dancing was allowed.

We're mid april, have decided not to make any hard and fast decisions for a few weeks yet.

I am getting more and more irate over the super slow rollout of the vaccine though- not just for the wedding but in general (I'm high risk).

AppleD

So great to talk to people in same position.

Nothing we can do, only hold tight for another while before deciding.

Sometimes I'm really calm but then I panic as loads left to do- no bridesmaid dresses or suits sorted. Was hoping to get appointments in Jan but will just have to find something online.

Have booked a hen for last weekend in March, 15 invited but I can not see that happening. So I better have a list of 6 ready to go. Then meet another 6 on a different night for a dinner out.

Lollipops23

AppleD wrote: »

So great to talk to people in same position.

Nothing we can do, only hold tight for another while before deciding.

Sometimes I'm really calm but then I panic as loads left to do- no bridesmaid dresses or suits sorted. Was hoping to get appointments in Jan but will just have to find something online..

I've managed to sort most of the big stuff every time things have reopened- proper POUNCING when I can lol


Good news is that the bridesmaids dresses and suits were very straight forward and no messing about when we got them. I would jump on the dresses soon though- the lead in time for orders is such a pain in the arse.

AppleD

Lollipops23 wrote: »

I've managed to sort most of the big stuff every time things have reopened- proper POUNCING when I can lol


Good news is that the bridesmaids dresses and suits were very straight forward and no messing about when we got them. I would jump on the dresses soon though- the lead in time for orders is such a pain in the arse.

Thanks Lollipops, will do. Might end up going with Folkster as one bridesmaid tried on and liked a dress from there. But will get ordering more online for them to try.

woodchuck

Neyite wrote: »

We got engaged years ago but money was way too tight for us for several years due to childcare costs to even put together a small wedding, so we put it off. And finally when we did have the means to do the small wedding we wanted Covid happens so part of me is annoyed that if I am going to have to get married in my jeans on a Wednesday lunchtime and go straight back home, I could have bloody well done that in 2013 you know?

That's a pain alright Tbh if you've waited this long already, I'd probably just hold out until things are back to normal and do it the way you'd planned for years.

AppleD wrote: »

When will ye make a decision on it? We're thinking mid Feb we might have a better idea.

Our date is mid-May. My partner is much more level headed about it than I am and thinks we should wait until mid-March to call it. At that point we'll either be sending out invitations or change the dates (again!). But do I start dieting and exercising now, or risk being a chubby bride and hope I can have the dress taken out :rolleyes:

I'm hoping we'll have a much better idea of things within the next month though. What I really want to see is a timetable for the vaccine rollout! That will obviously have a major impact on when things will start going back to normal. And although they haven't said it to me explicitly, I don't think my parents would be willing to stay after the ceremony unless they've been vaccinated. Tbh I'm not sure if I'd be happy going ahead with the day myself unless I was vaccinated. I know fatalities are very low for younger groups, but it's the "long Covid" that frightens me. I highly highly doubt I'll be getting a vaccine in the first half of this year or possibly even the second half :rolleyes:

It's very easy to be negative with the way things are atm. But if we think back to March/April, cases went way down after we had an extended lockdown. There's no reason to think that the full lockdown won't have the same affect this time around (especially if they close the schools again like they're talking about) and vaccines should continue to improve the situation on top of that.

Lollipops23

woodchuck wrote: »

But do I start dieting and exercising now, or risk being a chubby bride and hope I can have the dress taken out :rolleyes:

My dress is already on the snug side, so I've started back on slimming world yesterday! I mean worst case scenario if we push the date is that they'll have to take in the dress, which wouldn't be awful!

Goose76

woodchuck wrote: »

I'm in a couple of wedding groups on facebook and it's full of brides who have gotten married recently, talking about how wonderfully magical their day was and if anyone isn't sure about going ahead that they should just do it. But everyone's circumstances are different. I know myself if I go ahead, I won't have the support of my family. It's also very easy to say how amazing the day was in hindsight when nobody got sick from it - all it takes is one person to have it and it could spread like wildfire. I really don't want that on my conscience and I think it would be very selfish of me to ask my family and friends to put themselves in that position.

Side note, but I was on a very large national wedding group (perhaps the same one as you) on Facebook until last week and the best decision I've made with my wedding was to leave the group :pac:

I found the group great for some things, like I found a sale on a bridal shoe website I never would have known about otherwise, etc, but for the most part, it just made my anxiety go out of control with all the posts about restrictions.

Dozens of posts a day from brides to be saying 'how are [insert month] brides feeling?' and hundreds of comments with people either panicking or enforcing their own decision upon others. I'm sure 99% of the posters meant well, but jesus, it was a headwreck.

I'm just going to reiterate what I posted a few months back in this thread - try and make your own decision as best you can and consult with your partner and close family and friends only. They are all who really matter in this. What's right for someone on Facebook or Boards won't necessarily be right for you. At all.

There was one lad on said Facebook group who made a point of telling everyone to postpone as otherwise they would regret it and wouldn't have their ideal day. Fair enough and I'm sure he meant well. But some of us (i.e: me) don't have the luxury of postponing beyond 2021 (elderly and unwell parents). So again I'd just encourage everyone in this thread to try and make their own decisions as best as possible as some stranger on the internet may have very different circumstances and priorities to you.

woodchuck

Lollipops23 wrote: »

My dress is already on the snug side, so I've started back on slimming world yesterday! I mean worst case scenario if we push the date is that they'll have to take in the dress, which wouldn't be awful!

Oh I'd have no issues if they need to take it IN... I'd be delighted! I was measured about a year ago when I was at my slimmest though and just haven't been able to maintain that with the year that's been in it :rolleyes: I could go on another chocolate detox and exercise binge for the next few months, but if we end up postponing again, all the effort just feels like a waste. Especially since I'll just end up having to do it all over again for the new date :rolleyes:

Goose76 wrote: »

Side note, but I was on a very large national wedding group (perhaps the same one as you) on Facebook until last week and the best decision I've made with my wedding was to leave the group :pac:

You're absolutely right

Lollipops23

Goose76 wrote: »

Dozens of posts a day from brides to be saying 'how are [insert month] brides feeling?' and hundreds of comments with people either panicking or enforcing their own decision upon others. I'm sure 99% of the posters meant well, but jesus, it was a headwreck.

Not a bad idea- I muted them a while ago, I think I'll do the same again. Those posts have been doing my head in lately, all they do it stoke stress!!

c.p.w.g.w

We were supposed to get married 22 January(18 guests)...so we decided to drive on and just get married with witness' and have a few drinks and food and our gaff...

Now my fear is...will we even be able to get married on the 22, or will that be deemed an non essential hse service

cazzer22

AppleD wrote: »

we are April, so so hard to know what to do. As long as we could have 50 we would go ahead but when do we call it. Its so hard to know.

We are April as well. Let's keep positive and hope that things will turn around ❤️

woodchuck

woodchuck wrote: »

Oh I'd have no issues if they need to take it IN... I'd be delighted! I was measured about a year ago when I was at my slimmest though and just haven't been able to maintain that with the year that's been in it :rolleyes: I could go on another chocolate detox and exercise binge for the next few months, but if we end up postponing again, all the effort just feels like a waste. Especially since I'll just end up having to do it all over again for the new date :rolleyes:



You're absolutely right

I don't doubt you will look beautiful on your day woodchuck no matter what you weigh. In saying that I really really understand the struggle and how at the end of the day it comes down to how you feel yourself.

The way I am approaching weight loss is from a wide perspective. Wedding aside I wanted to lose a stone and definitely it is better for my health. My exercise and improved diet is done with the goal of overall health rather than weight loss. If you would like to lose weight then do it for you and because you will feel good not just because you are getting married.

On the restriction front I think its highly likely your parents will be vaccinated by May if they are over 70 or even if they have underlying conditions. My OH is exactly like yours with the positivity. He wants to wait and see. I feel if we wait too long it will be difficult to get a Jan 22 date but I'm willing to hold out and cross everything.

woodchuck

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't doubt you will look beautiful on your day woodchuck no matter what you weigh. In saying that I really really understand the struggle and how at the end of the day it comes down to how you feel yourself.

The way I am approaching weight loss is from a wide perspective. Wedding aside I wanted to lose a stone and definitely it is better for my health. My exercise and improved diet is done with the goal of overall health rather than weight loss. If you would like to lose weight then do it for you and because you will feel good not just because you are getting married.

The thing is, I did already put a lot of effort into losing weight before I got engaged. I did it for myself with no thoughts of a wedding in mind.

The problem now is, my lifestyle has been completely thrown out of whack due to the pandemic (like everyone else!), resulting in a little weight gain. Before I was getting in ~15,000 steps a day by incorporating walking into my daily commute. But I find it much harder to get anywhere close to that level of exercise now while working from home. I did do a few months of exercise classes at lunchtime last summer, but with the shorter days now, I prefer to get outside for a walk at lunchtime (technically better for my mental health, but not as good exercise for losing weight). I also found it easier to resist junk/comfort food during "normal" times. I'm trying to be good for the most part, but I do have a habit of falling off the wagon and staying off for weeks at a time, putting a few extra pounds back on. Christmas obviously didn't help!

I'm trying to eat cleaner again for myself, regardless of the wedding. I know from experience it will be slow going though and if I want to shift the weight quickly for the wedding, I'd need to sacrifice my daily walks for more intense indoor exercise classes (I used to go jogging sometimes in the winter to kill two birds with one stone, but I'm not comfortable doing that atm with the pandemic). I really don't want to make that sacrifice though if we're just going to end up postponing again. I find the winter months really depressing, so I really do need to get outside in the fresh air and what little daylight we get.

Deleted User wrote: »

On the restriction front I think its highly likely your parents will be vaccinated by May if they are over 70 or even if they have underlying conditions. My OH is exactly like yours with the positivity. He wants to wait and see. I feel if we wait too long it will be difficult to get a Jan 22 date but I'm willing to hold out and cross everything.

My parents are under 65 and I don't think they have any particular conditions that would bump them up the list for a vaccine unfortunately.

@ Woodchuck, I hear you. Where once we would be out and about doing things, its now easier and comforting to eat nice things while we sit at home. I lost the run of myself during the summer. It is to my great surprise I didn't turn in to a pizza or a block of cheese Then there were the 'comfort' Sundays of Ben & Jerry's.

Shopping for a wedding dress gave me motivation but it was for my overall health that I kept going. I was so unfit. I've lost a stone and am determined to keep it off (famous last words but fingers crossed). In fact I intend to lose a bit more.

After I found my dress I continued to eat and exercise in the same manner. Its been easy enough because now I also want to be in the best possible physical position if I contract Covid. It isn't a sacrifice at all because I am worth this. You are too. You are worth trying to make lasting changes. You put the effort in and got the results. That's something you can do again. It doesn't have to be punitive either.

Don't stand in your own way

Bridesmaids dresses: My 3 are very different shapes and heights so I've decided to let them pick their own. 2 of them are in the UK so they wouldn't be able to come shopping with me.

In a world where I'm made of money I would have chosen and bought them. Probably from BHLDN or Needle and Thread. Get them online and have them altered if needs be.
Alas I inhabit this world.

Ankhyu

For what it's worth, Asos have an unreal sale on at the moment for anyone looking to order bridesmaids dresses online. We have a very tight budget in general, but had budgeted around €120 per dress. Just ordered dresses this afternoon for €27 each including shipping to the bridesmaids respective homes so they can try them on. Fingers crossed they're nice on!

We've chosen a colour that's not very easily found by the looks of it (rust) so was gonna be ordering from David's Bridal in the States but delighted with that price if they work out!

Ankhyu

Ankhyu wrote: »

For what it's worth, Asos have an unreal sale on at the moment for anyone looking to order bridesmaids dresses online. We have a very tight budget in general, but had budgeted around €120 per dress. Just ordered dresses this afternoon for €27 each including shipping to the bridesmaids respective homes so they can try them on. Fingers crossed they're nice on!

We've chosen a colour that's not very easily found by the looks of it (rust) so was gonna be ordering from David's Bridal in the States but delighted with that price if they work out!

That's brilliant! Do you mind me asking what brand yours are? Rust is lovely especially if its silk

Ankhyu

[Deleted User] wrote: »

That's brilliant! Do you mind me asking what brand yours are? Rust is lovely especially if its silk

They're Asos Design dresses in chiffon, not looking for anything too fancy

Ankhyu

Ankhyu wrote: »

They're Asos Design dresses in chiffon, not looking for anything too fancy

Chiffon is lovely and flowy. I had a look on their site and they have some very nice dresses and good prices. I'm just not sure of the style. I'd like if they complimented my dress. Also if I buy now then I'd be locking myself in to a particular colour and won't be able to change my mind.
I dunno. One girl wants short, the other wants sleeves. I'll think some more.

XxMCRxBabyxX

On the topic of bridesmaids dresses, would anyone have recommendations of brands that do nice short embellished floral dresses for plus size and petite? Think Needle and Thread style. I've seen some lovely dresses out there but not ones that would suit either of my bridesmaids!

The girls are almost complete opposites in size (one's tall and plus size, the other can fit in age 10!) so I've asked them to look around with that general description to find something they'd be happy to wear but I'd like to be able to help them.

Otherwise it'll be plan B of sequin tops and tulle skirts!

Lollipops23

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

The girls are almost complete opposites in size (one's tall and plus size, the other can fit in age 10!) so I've asked them to look around with that general description to find something they'd be happy to wear but I'd like to be able to help them.

I'm the same- 3 bridesmaids; 5'11'' and size 18, 5'4"and size 12 and 5'0", size 8. So bloody hard! In the end we went with 3 different dresses in the same colours and fabrics. Wed2Be, €90 each- bargain!!

Neyite

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

On the topic of bridesmaids dresses, would anyone have recommendations of brands that do nice short embellished floral dresses for plus size and petite? Think Needle and Thread style. I've seen some lovely dresses out there but not ones that would suit either of my bridesmaids!

The girls are almost complete opposites in size (one's tall and plus size, the other can fit in age 10!) so I've asked them to look around with that general description to find something they'd be happy to wear but I'd like to be able to help them.

Otherwise it'll be plan B of sequin tops and tulle skirts!

With very different body shapes I'd probably opt for the same fabric in different designs rather than have totally matching. That way each girl can get a dress that really suits them. I've seen it done a few times and tbh, I much prefer that coordinated-but-different look than trying to make bridesmaids match each other. I had a childhood of being matched to siblings in outfits so most matchy-matchy stuff reminds me of that which probably puts me off the idea!

XxMCRxBabyxX

Neyite wrote: »

With very different body shapes I'd probably opt for the same fabric in different designs rather than have totally matching. That way each girl can get a dress that really suits them. I've seen it done a few times and tbh, I much prefer that coordinated-but-different look than trying to make bridesmaids match each other. I had a childhood of being matched to siblings in outfits so most matchy-matchy stuff reminds me of that which probably puts me off the idea!

This is what I'm doing. It would be crazy to try match them. Obviously I didn't word it well but that's what I meant but saying that I'd asked them to go looking themselves. I just want to help them look by finding some brands that do the kind of dresses I'm looking for in their sizes.

XxMCRxBabyxX

New question that I really should have thought of earlier!

Does anyone know if marriage notifications appointments are still going ahead in person? We're booked in in Lombard St in Dublin next week and haven't heard either way. What's the process if it can only go ahead virtually?

I'm currently having an absolute nightmare trying to get hold of a certified copy of my foreign birth cert so am already preparing myself for tackling that one. I've been on to them since August! (I have spoken to the office before on it so I should be ok.)

XxMCRxBabyxX

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

New question that I really should have thought of earlier!

Does anyone know if marriage notifications appointments are still going ahead in person? We're booked in in Lombard St in Dublin next week and haven't heard either way. What's the process if it can only go ahead virtually?

I'm currently having an absolute nightmare trying to get hold of a certified copy of my foreign birth cert so am already preparing myself for tackling that one. I've been on to them since August! (I have spoken to the office before on it so I should be ok.)

FYI in case it impacts anyone else, I spoke to Lombard St this morning and in-person appointments are still going ahead.

Lollipops23

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

FYI in case it impacts anyone else, I spoke to Lombard St this morning and in-person appointments are still going ahead.

They're very well set up- there was a screen between us and the lady doing ours, very few people around in general and the whole thing took maybe 40mins start to finish. Felt totally safe!

woodchuck

Yeah we had our (second) appointment in Lombard street during the level 5 lockdown at the end of October. It was very different compared to our first appointment! They're using a very spacious waiting room now and private offices with a protective screen instead of open plan for the appointment itself.

For anyone who has their second appointment to push out their initial date though, they did actually need a lot of our information again the second time around. Things like my PPS number and the DOB of my witness that I just didn't know off the top of my head!! I assumed they'd still have all that information in the system from the first appointment, but it seemed like they had to create a whole new entry from scratch. Just so people can be prepared!

zedhead

We were meant to be married in May 2020 but rescheduled for May 2021. We have decided that even if we are down to just 6 guests we are going to go ahead. We only had 80 on our guest list originally (split between 27 for full ceremony and dinner and the rest for an evening reception) and taking into account guests coming from abroad if we got to 50 I'd say we would hardly have to cut any guests at all. Even if we were allowed 25, since my sister and niece will be unable to travel from New Zealand we will get the ceremony and meal we originally wanted which would be ideal.

I would be a little disappointed if we were limited to the 6 - but if that 6 does not include us or the photographer than we would at least be able to have both sets of parents and a sibling each there. My current thinking is that we will be allowed 25 and hopefully our parents will be vaccinated by them, but we just need to wait and see.

woodchuck

I'm May 2021 too and I'd be hopefully that the numbers will be 25 at that stage or possibly even 50 (and this is coming from an extreme pessimist :P). I'm hoping/assuming that this will be the last level 5 lockdown. It will be very difficult to justify another level 5 lockdown once the elderly and vulnerable groups have been vaccinated. And since level 4 doesn't seem to get a look in, hopefully we'll go back to level 3 by April and that will be the highest level for the rest of the year.

The only potential disaster would be if there is a new strain of the virus that makes the vaccines useless.

I'm feeling a bit more hopeful after chatting to my friends last night. If my mother and sister don't want to have their makeup done like was originally planned, my friends are more than happy to take the slots! They even offered to pay, but of course I wouldn't take money off them. I just want to make sure that I can keep the minimum numbers to get my own hair and makeup done really! My brothers girlfriend is supposed to do my hair and they have flights booked from Canada... but I'm not very hopeful there So I might have to shell out for a hairdresser closer to the time to come to the house, but again, my friends are happy to fill any slots going! Since the wedding is a Sunday and there seem to be lots of 2021 couples postponing, I'm hoping I won't have too much trouble finding a hairdresser closer to the time if we decide to go ahead.

I was down about the fact that none of my family might come to the wedding and the occasion isn't just about us, but the joining of 2 families. My friends rightly pointed out that if our families are joined, that's obvious in how we interact in our daily life and is not symbolised by one ceremony. Obviously the daily interactions aren't possible atm, but in the future hopefully. And generally speaking I'm worrying too much about other people and it should just be about me and my fiance! Sorry, just typing it all out so I can look back on it all when I'm having another panic attack in a weeks time :P