2021 Bride/Groom

Vestiapx

Teach30 wrote: »

Anyone else finding it hard to shake off the feeling of doom surrounding small covid wedding. I’m back at work and can’t cope with people asking me what the plan is, when I can’t even have a plan made. I’m very short and snappy and now just avoid people and eat my lunch in car.
I’m so jealous of people who have postponed and envy their happiness and potential future big wedding that people will enjoy.

Sad I know but it’s all consuming.

If you want a big wedding you need to postpone, the Irish day out is a thing and you will feel like you missed out forever.

Teach30

Vestiapx wrote: »

If you want a big wedding you need to postpone, the Irish day out is a thing and you will feel like you missed out forever.

I know already postponed from last year twice, he won’t postpone for 3rd time. Living at home until married so another 12 months would be dire with still no guarantee for big numbers. So kinda stuck. My Family see small wedding as a waste of time too so that’s not helping.

zedhead

Teach30 wrote: »

Anyone else finding it hard to shake off the feeling of doom surrounding small covid wedding. I’m back at work and can’t cope with people asking me what the plan is, when I can’t even have a plan made. I’m very short and snappy and now just avoid people and eat my lunch in car.
I’m so jealous of people who have postponed and envy their happiness and potential future big wedding that people will enjoy.

Sad I know but it’s all consuming.

Ive made my peace with the fact we are having an 8 person wedding and the past few weeks have really allowed myself to get excited about it.

What is really hard is the people asking about it and the pity i hear in their voice when i tell them we are going ahead with just 6 guests. I'm still working from home but its mentioned on a lot of calls, and with a week and a half to go I do want to talk about it. People asking are we disappointed/sad etc. I try to be calm and polite but it is hard sometimes not to snap.

The worst I am finding is people asking what we will do if this weeks announcement raises the numbers - i mean there is not much we can do with such late notice. The room we have moved the reception to i believe only holds 10 so we may only be able to add one or two more - plus the stress of trying to refigure out budgets etc with such little notice. I don;t think anything will have changed for weddings by May 7th - maybe by mid to late May, but it seems to come up in every conversation.

lazygal

Vestiapx wrote: »

If you want a big wedding you need to postpone, the Irish day out is a thing and you will feel like you missed out forever.

This is really short sighted. Marriage is an important legal contract. You can have a party any time. I would not postpone the legal protections of marriage any more than I had to.

lazygal

lazygal wrote: »

This is really short sighted. Marriage is an important legal contract. You can have a party any time. I would not postpone the legal protections of marriage any more than I had to.

For some people postponing is the right thing to do.

woodchuck

I don't think there is one solution that suits everyone. For some people, it makes sense to postpone. For others, it makes sense to go ahead regardless. And there are many other options in between (e.g. legal bit now, party later). It depends entirely on the individuals circumstances and priorities though.

Hi everyone, I thought I'd pop in and share my positive experience of going ahead with a wedding party of 8.
Once we knew that the numbers weren't going to change for our day, the uncertainty was gone and we could feel excited about our plans. We know our plans may not be everyone's cup of tea, but postponing just wasn't for us.
It was an amazing day
There were no nerves, just butterflies as I got ready to walk up the aisle, and I couldn't stop smiling all day. We had an online stream set up for those that couldn't be at the ceremony, and it worked out lovely. The weather was dry so we got to go to a few scenic spots for photos, and then we went home, just the two of us where we had our first dance. It was the happy, laid back day we always wanted.

It's great to hear the positive experiences of going ahead. We are hopeful for 50 in October. It's not so much the numbers that bother us rather the feel and vibe of the day being dictated by restrictions. Luckily most of our family will be fully vaccinated by then so that's a worry we don't have.

woodchuck

I'm determined to go ahead this September, which is our 3rd date.

We postponed last year for a number of reasons, including the uncertainty, didn't have everything organised (and felt impossible with lockdowns), safety and we were stressed to the nines buying a house.

We postponed our second date for this May, mainly because 6 guests is a deal breaker for us.

But this September, it's happening!! I'm hopeful things will improve with the vaccine rollout and it might actually feel similar to the day we'd originally planned (chilled out day with a smallish group of close family and friends). I never wanted a large wedding, but 50 guests would be ideal.

Neyite

I'm splitting out the wedding and the reception. That's what will work best for us. With quarantine being the way it is, it's too unpredictable and an awful expense to put on a decent chunk of our guests. Plus there's vulnerable children in the family who won't have had their vaccine so their family group would likely also stay away for caution.
So we'll get married this year, and party next year when hopefully international travel will resume and hopefully the vaccine will be available to adults and children.

matrim

Neyite wrote: »

I'm splitting out the wedding and the reception. That's what will work best for us. With quarantine being the way it is, it's too unpredictable and an awful expense to put on a decent chunk of our guests. Plus there's vulnerable children in the family who won't have had their vaccine so their family group would likely also stay away for caution.
So we'll get married this year, and party next year when hopefully international travel will resume and hopefully the vaccine will be available to adults and children.

That's similar to what we are doing. We are going to get married on our original date and have a small ceremony & reception with just us, our parents and witnesses. Then next year will will do the full reception / party with all our friends / family.

XxMCRxBabyxX

matrim wrote: »

That's similar to what we are doing. We are going to get married on our original date and have a small ceremony & reception with just us, our parents and witnesses. Then next year will will do the full reception / party with all our friends / family.

We're the same too though are having a ceremony next year as well. We'd planned one that was quite personalised to us and our guests so this year's is just a cut down version.

zedhead

matrim wrote: »

That's similar to what we are doing. We are going to get married on our original date and have a small ceremony & reception with just us, our parents and witnesses. Then next year will will do the full reception / party with all our friends / family.

I think a lot of people are doing similar. We are doing a nice full wedding with our 6 guests next week. And then in november we will be having a drinks reception/DJ for the rest of a friends and family. Not a full reception but a big party.

Neyite

Even then though., I'm wavering on it every day. .

We aren't in any hurry to get married as we've already got the house and kids done already. We've been engaged for years, and held off while we were trying to add to our family, and plus we didn't have any spare cash to save towards a modest wedding at the time. If I'd wanted to elope with no celebration, we could have done it in years ago when we got engaged. Doing it now feels like defeat. Gah!

It was never going to be a big wedding anyway, that's what really pisses me off. It was literally a quiet village wedding with none of the usual frills with just our family around us so would have been under the 50 attendees. But there's feck all point in trying to go ahead when the people I really want there have to quarantine!

zedhead

Has anyone seen the leaks about what todays update will bring. I know none of it affects my wedding next Friday but this part really annoyed me:

Places of worship are all set for good news, with 50 attendees permitted at normal services, as well as funerals and weddings.

However, six people can only attend the wedding reception indoors or 15 outdoors. This will increase to 25 in June.

So if you are not religious you are only allowed to have 6 at your wedding ceremony, but if you choose to have it in any religious setting you can have 50? I know since you can't have that many at the reception many people still will stick with the 6, but I know some of my friends are coming into the city next week to see us outside the venue, even just for 10 minutes and would absolutely attend the ceremony if they could, even if they could not come to the reception.

Also what does this mean for non religious funerals? Those held in non religious crematoriums - will they still be limited to the current numbers or will they be allowed the 50?

Ri_Nollaig

zedhead wrote: »

Has anyone seen the leaks about what todays update will bring. I know none of it affects my wedding next Friday but this part really annoyed me:



So if you are not religious you are only allowed to have 6 at your wedding ceremony, but if you choose to have it in any religious setting you can have 50? I know since you can't have that many at the reception many people still will stick with the 6, but I know some of my friends are coming into the city next week to see us outside the venue, even just for 10 minutes and would absolutely attend the ceremony if they could, even if they could not come to the reception.

Also what does this mean for non religious funerals? Those held in non religious crematoriums - will they still be limited to the current numbers or will they be allowed the 50?

I'd say wait and see what is confirmed today, as allowing 50 to the service and only 6 to the reception is madness.

zedhead

Ri_Nollaig wrote: »

I'd say wait and see what is confirmed today, as allowing 50 to the service and only 6 to the reception is madness.

I think they are bowing to pressure from the church to open up mass again - but to allow 50 to a regular mass but only 6 to a wedding mass doesn't make sense, and they have said all along the reception is the problem/risky part with weddings so I can see them doing it.

Neyite

zedhead wrote: »

I think they are bowing to pressure from the church to open up mass again - but to allow 50 to a regular mass but only 6 to a wedding mass doesn't make sense, and they have said all along the reception is the problem/risky part with weddings so I can see them doing it.

I think it's more to do with the socialisation afterwards - Mass, everyone sits distanced, goes home afterwards, with maybe a brief distanced chat outside the church with someone they know. It's an hour tops.

If you have 50 to a wedding mass, that 50 will be also invited to the reception. Ireland's weather being the way it is, you could easily see it webbing rain for the 'outdoor' reception at a venue putting pressure on the manager to move them inside, so as not to ruin the couple's day. Even if they get a good day, people will wander in and out to the bathrooms, drink alcohol and forget to socially distance, or wander in and out of hallways for a smoke etc and area around each other for many hours more than people attending Sunday mass.

A funeral is also different - with handshaking banned, it's more akin to the socially distanced mass, same with the graveside and people are sober (usually) but again, a funeral is far shorter of a time frame for people mixing than a wedding is.

It's just down to movement & behaviour of people in typical but different scenarios. I don't necessarily agree with the numbers but I can see the logic as to why they differ.

zedhead

Neyite wrote: »

I think it's more to do with the socialisation afterwards - Mass, everyone sits distanced, goes home afterwards, with maybe a brief distanced chat outside the church with someone they know. It's an hour tops.

If you have 50 to a wedding mass, that 50 will be also invited to the reception. Ireland's weather being the way it is, you could easily see it webbing rain for the 'outdoor' reception at a venue putting pressure on the manager to move them inside, so as not to ruin the couple's day. Even if they get a good day, people will wander in and out to the bathrooms, drink alcohol and forget to socially distance, or wander in and out of hallways for a smoke etc and area around each other for many hours more than people attending Sunday mass.

A funeral is also different - with handshaking banned, it's more akin to the socially distanced mass, same with the graveside and people are sober (usually) but again, a funeral is far shorter of a time frame for people mixing than a wedding is.

It's just down to movement & behaviour of people in typical but different scenarios. I don't necessarily agree with the numbers but I can see the logic as to why they differ.

I actually agree, but my issue is the special treatment for religious ceremonies. I hope if this rumour turns out to be true than the numbers for secular and non religious ceremonies are also taken into account.

XxMCRxBabyxX

zedhead wrote: »

I actually agree, but my issue is the special treatment for religious ceremonies. I hope if this rumour turns out to be true than the numbers for secular and non religious ceremonies are also taken into account.

The more I think about this the angrier I get. If the rumours are true, why is my humanist ceremony considered less worthy than a church wedding?

Michellenman

Someone on the Claire Byrne show just said it’s 50 at a wedding ceremony for religious or civil ceremonies. I assume this would depend on the size of the venue to allow proper distancing though.

woodchuck

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

The more I think about this the angrier I get. If the rumours are true, why is my humanist ceremony considered less worthy than a church wedding?

Yeah it's pure discrimination if they go down that route.

I could understand somewhat if they based it on the size of the ceremony space (most churches are much bigger than say registry offices or hotel ceremony rooms). But basing it on whether or not it's a religious ceremony is pure discrimination.

As usual, they probably just haven't thought it through.

Michellenman

Michellenman wrote: »

Someone on the Claire Byrne show just said it’s 50 at a wedding ceremony for religious or civil ceremonies. I assume this would depend on the size of the venue to allow proper distancing though.

And then we tell 44 of them to go home

I too can see the logic but at the same time it's a very narrow logic.

Alkers

zedhead wrote: »

I actually agree, but my issue is the special treatment for religious ceremonies. I hope if this rumour turns out to be true than the numbers for secular and non religious ceremonies are also taken into account.

Exactly, by being an aethiast and having a registry office ceremony I can only have 6, that's is whack out of order!

Neyite

zedhead wrote: »

I actually agree, but my issue is the special treatment for religious ceremonies. I hope if this rumour turns out to be true than the numbers for secular and non religious ceremonies are also taken into account.

Oh fully agree!

PCros

Michellenman wrote: »

Someone on the Claire Byrne show just said it’s 50 at a wedding ceremony for religious or civil ceremonies. I assume this would depend on the size of the venue to allow proper distancing though.

But where could a 50 person civil ceremony take place? A hotel can only allow 8 people in total for the meal. Very tricky having 50 people walk in assuming they would all leave accordingly.

Strange situation to be honest.

Like just keep it all in unison - 6 for the church/civil ceremony/hotel dinner now, then for June it could be 25 for church/civil ceremony/hotel and so on.

Michellenman

PCros wrote: »

But where could a 50 person civil ceremony take place? A hotel can only allow 8 people in total for the meal. Very tricky having 50 people walk in assuming they would all leave accordingly.

Strange situation to be honest.

Like just keep it all in unison - 6 for the church/civil ceremony/hotel dinner now, then for June it could be 25 for church/civil ceremony/hotel and so on.

Oh yeah i agree. I just was posting what I did as to begin with it seemed one rule for churches and another for civil ceremonies which is very unfair.

PCros

Michellenman wrote: »

Oh yeah i agree. I just was posting what I did as to begin with it seemed one rule for churches and another for civil ceremonies which is very unfair.

Indeed. It will be very interesting to see what response Micheál Martin will give later when asked what the thinking was behind it.

woodchuck

PCros wrote: »

Indeed. It will be very interesting to see what response Micheál Martin will give later when asked what the thinking was behind it.

It sounds like they've been under a lot of pressure from the churches/priests regarding mass. And a wedding mass falls under that. But they obviously didn't think it through for how it would impact other non-religious wedding ceremonies.

ShortAPennt

woodchuck wrote: »

It sounds like they've been under a lot of pressure from the churches/priests regarding mass. And a wedding mass falls under that. But they obviously didn't think it through for how it would impact other non-religious wedding ceremonies.

I think that is what is most worrying is how short-sighted the restrictions are. With so much riding on it I would have hoped that they would have asked for some input from professionals to be able to make an informed decision but it feels like it was just plucked out of the air. Obviously nobody with a bride in any family on the decision board anyway!

I think you are right. They incorrectly tied weddings in with mass services. Discriminating against 41% of couples that chose to marry in another setting. How they could possibly get away with this. It is scandalous. Is it scientifically proven that 50 people in a church are safe from covid but 50 people in a civil venue aren't?

To be honest, as much as I hate it I can somewhat understand the restrictions on the wedding parties. They have a big fear of "the indoors" they won't want to increase anything in this area.... As impractical as it is. I can get it.....

They have allowed the celebration of marriage with 50 people but only if it is in a church.....