Advertisement
Have your say on the future of the 'Save Draft' feature in this poll
MODs please see this information notice in the mod's forum. Thanks!
How to add spoiler tags, edit posts, add images etc. How to - a user's guide to the new version of Boards

I am new to this country and want to know why everyone is so rude.

1456810

Comments



  • Read the thread. For whatever reason he lets us know that he is "white" and "educated" in the very first post. You are feeding a troll.


    And then says *every* Irish person is racist to him.
    Back under the bridge, OP.




  • odyssey06 wrote: »
    Or maybe if the OP hadn't said that people would start asking the OP about his ethnicity and blaming any rudeness they think they are encountering on latent racism, or poor command of English. Catch 22.

    Personally I think the posts about the 'indirect' and informal way Irish people approach conversations are probably what the OP should be focusing on, as they appear to come from an English speaking country that are more direct and formal.

    He sounds like a white supremist or nationalist to me actually.
    He keeps on about the service industry.
    We do have a lot of foreign nationals in that industry, so I'm not taking him seriously at all.




  • He sounds like a white supremist or nationalist to me actually.
    He keeps on about the service industry.
    We do have a lot of foreign nationals in that industry, so I'm not taking him seriously at all.

    He doesn't sound anything like that to me.

    He's just providing some details on his background. They are slightly helpful.....Although he needs to provide a lot more details on the specific interactions he had a problem with !

    To be clear not agreeing with a persons opinion is not a good reason to accuse them of being a troll.




  • I am from the UK, and have lived in Dublin for 10 years.

    My experience is that The Irish generally are very courteous and polite. I have no issues on that front. I find as a whole, the Irish are well educated, articulate and have more of a grasp what is happening then people back in the UK.

    Like any society though, it is not perfect. The Irish certainly know how to spend!, and i think how the economy/ housing market is seemingly over heating again , after the melt down of the Celtic Tiger is utter madness. Being a small country Nepotism is rife, and corruption is more prevalent than elsewhere. The makeup of the Dáil for example and RTE is not representative of the people walking the streets of Ireland in 2020.

    Like has been said elsewhere, the Irish are quite tight knit , and it is quite hard to breakthrough that, to be more than an acquaintance to most.




  • maninasia wrote: »
    He doesn't sound anything like that to me.

    He's just providing some details on his background. They are slightly helpful.....Although he needs to provide a lot more details on the specific interactions he had a problem with !

    Do you not find it suspicious that someone would describe Ahascragh like this though?


  • Advertisement


  • tuxy wrote: »
    Do you not find it suspicious that someone would describe Ahascragh like this though?

    I'm not getting the connection to Ahascragh, maybe I'm missing something ?

    I have experience of culture shock and what the OP is describing are the CLASSIC symptoms of culture shock.

    He reminds me of myself a year into a move to a foreign country with vastly different culture.

    Look it up !

    https://www.communicaid.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Culture-Shock.jpg

    Symptoms of Culture Shock
    Extreme homesickness.
    Feelings of helplessness/dependency.
    Disorientation and isolation.
    Depression and sadness.
    Hyper-irritability, may include inappropriate anger and hostility.
    Sleep and eating disturbances (too little or too much)
    Excessive critical reactions to host culture/stereotyping.




  • maninasia wrote: »
    I'm not getting the connection to Ahascragh, maybe I'm missing something ?

    I believe that's where they moved to and currently live.




  • maninasia wrote: »
    Thanks for reminding me, I picked up some dissatisfaction on racial stuff with him.

    Why is he a troll ? He seems to be venting his real feelings.

    And what's wrong with saying white , middle class and educated exactly ?

    This is a good discussion .

    Seriously, did you actually read the thread? He's been asked repeatedly where he's from so that we can try to figure out what is going on with these cross-cultural problems of his. He won't say. That's classic troll behavior. He doesn't engage with anyone who makes any substantive points to him unless they are basically just agreeing with him. As I've said repeatedly, he's not just saying he's had the odd negative experience, but that everyone here is relentlessly rude, pessimistic, won't let him speak, are racist, etc. etc. That's not a matter of opinion, it's farce. There isn't a country in the world where the populace are like that, least of all Ireland. He created a new account in order to launch this clickbait little post of his into the world. You're being trolled.




  • maninasia wrote: »
    And what's wrong with saying white , middle class and educated exactly ?

    Nothing normally, but to bring it up in the context of expecting good treatment is weird. If that's how he evaluates people he might be coming across as very haughty for example.




  • And from what eutopia does the OP transcend from?



    He's a troll .... Deal with it snowflakes, you've been had... Now cry to the side of your kale in case you spoil it...


  • Advertisement


  • maninasia wrote: »
    He doesn't sound anything like that to me.

    He's just providing some details on his background. They are slightly helpful.....Although he needs to provide a lot more details on the specific interactions he had a problem with !

    Well me and thee can do that ourselves.
    I find most people warm and friendly.
    I eat and drink out a fair bit and in loads of different places, due to my work, and I can't say I agree with much of his posts at all.
    People are helpful if you engage with them in general.
    It's not surprising that people can be initially suspicious of contact with strangers given the way crime has gone, but if can explain your reason for the enquiries you make they will mostly deal fairly with you.




  • Seriously, did you actually read the thread? He's been asked repeatedly where he's from so that we can try to figure out what is going on with these cross-cultural problems of his. He won't say. That's classic troll behavior. He doesn't engage with anyone who makes any substantive points to him unless they are basically just agreeing with him. As I've said repeatedly, he's not just saying he's had the odd negative experience, but that everyone here is relentlessly rude, pessimistic, won't let him speak, are racist, etc. etc. That's not a matter of opinion, it's farce. There isn't a country in the world where the populace are like that, least of all Ireland. He created a new account in order to launch this clickbait little post of his into the world. You're being trolled.

    If he doesn't give any more details on specific instances I agree.

    Over to you OP, it's time to prove you are genuine and provide some examples!




  • galwayllm wrote: »
    And from what eutopia does the OP transcend from?

    All they have said so far is America is better for service industries, so perhaps Paraguay?




  • OP starting out anywhere new is difficult so I empathise with you in that regard. However, it’s becoming clear you only want to listen to the minority of people who agree with you.

    Your attitude stinks. Instead of accusing us of having “no manners” you should be more aware that etiquette is different here.

    For example, servers in the US don’t make minimum wage, so they bow and scrape and are desperate to ingratiate themselves to you because they live off tips. Here, we pay our servers the minimum wage, so they don’t have to do that. And in my opinion, we have a far superior system.

    Your assumption that everything is worse here is deeply arrogant, and anyone who picks up oh that arrogance isn’t going to go out of their way to be friendly to you.




  • strandroad wrote: »
    Nothing normally, but to bring it up in the context of expecting good treatment is weird. If that's how he evaluates people he might be coming across as very haughty for example.

    Yes but it doesn't mean he's a troll or supremacist.
    Just a bit socially inept possibly .




  • There's a whiff of a previous banned poster off his posting style, but I can't put my finger on it. He quotes really long, and helpful posts with a simple one liner, and then quotes shorter posts with yet another long rambling post about how rude everybody is. I just recall another similar thread thst followed a similar pattern.

    Plus, I'm not 100% certain he is a native English speaker, it's very good but there are some odd little quirks here and there, especially when he gets a little heated.




  • kravmaga wrote: »
    Visiting Ireland on a holiday and living in Ireland are two completely different things.

    I know some Americans that loved visiting Ireland every year, when they retired they sold up in USA and moved here, within 6 months they were back in the States.


    And why is this happening, in your opinion? Genuine question.




  • I think it's about what you expect. The impression I've gotten from people who have settled in Ireland from overseas is that, as a people, we move at a quick pace, lots of hustle and bustle and maybe we don't take the time to relax and enjoy things more, even when we drink it tends to be quickly. Equally though, Irish people tend to be good-natured, accepting and pleasant, not usually confrontational either. It's difficult to generalise an entire population but, as a whole, I think it's a nice place to live and we are nice people to live with.




  • And why is this happening, in your opinion? Genuine question.

    Because going on your holidays is different to living somewhere.




  • I could write a book of my experience. From an 'immigration' department that doesn't even answer the phone and write reply emails )as a government organisation) as one-liners, to Garda that don't report to the front desk as they are off doing whatever, to people in shops not acknowledging you at the counter and throwing your items across the counter without saying thank you, from people cutting you off and yelling at you in the street for no reason and abusing you, to taking 10 minutes to serve you a pint because you're not local. From people at the train stations saying "the ticket machine" angrily when you bring a faulty ticket ti their attention to seeing taxi drivers almost mash people on the roads and people almost getting into fights over the most dumbest ****. It is top level from government, right down through the social strata, shops, pubs, websites, public service sectors and industry. And the people in the street who do NOT say hello and can't wait to edge in front of you for no reason at all.


    Never experienced any of the things you mentioned.
    Staff at shops and stores are friendly, say hello and thank you, wish you a good day, have a chat if they have time.
    In pubs and bars I've always been served reasonably fast based on how busy the place is.
    Taxi drivers and bus drivers are friendly and helpful.


    Of course I speak as a tourist who spends a few weeks a year in Ireland. So far, in total, I spent in Ireland nearly three times the time you did.
    I go there as a tourist, but always try not to act or look like a tourist, and occasionally locals have asked me if I'm Irish.


    I love that country. No place is perfect, but Ireland is very close to perfection in my eyes.
    And I live in a country where most foreign people would like to live in, lots of them move to, and everybody considers it as the most beautiful country in the world.


  • Advertisement


  • And why is this happening, in your opinion? Genuine question.

    Holidays are a break from the normal where things are interesting and different.
    When you move somewhere that eventually becomes the norm and is not so interesting.

    Also if you take somewhere like West Cork, visit in the summer and it's stunningly beautiful. But in winter it can be beyond depressing.




  • poisonated wrote: »
    Apologies if you’ve said this already but where are you from?

    The op has been asked this question several times and has completely ignored the question.if he doesnt think it is relevant or simply doesnt want to answer for whatever reason,thats fair enough,but to simply ignore the question time after time is downright rude,no sarcasm intended but it was him who started the thread so to just selectively answer questions is bordering on arrogence




  • I don't think Ireland really has a collective social consciousness. We are a nation of Mé Féiners.

    I believe this is why we don't protest generally. Unless it affects the "me" personally, people don't give a flying f.

    This is shown daily by the driving behaviours on the road each day, racing through red lights, cutting over continuous lines etc.

    The teachers sold out their younger colleagues because it suited them.

    Some elements of the public service who don't provide a decent public service.

    Our political class are careerists who don't give a **** about the public.

    My asshole neighbour who throws rubbish that blows into her garden back out onto the street instead of putting it in her bin.

    People who flytip because they don't want to pay.

    Teenagers who wreck their local amenities.

    Parents who are not involved in said teenagers lives.

    Employers exploiting immigrant labour.

    The list is endless.




  • tuxy wrote: »

    Also if you take somewhere like West Cork, visit in the summer and it's stunningly beautiful. But in winter it can be beyond depressing.

    Nonsense! It's far nicer in the winter. The air is clearer, the views are more dramatic and the stormy winter seas are far more dramatic than the summer calm.

    Plus you have fewer tourists, less traffic, and, best of all, none of those bloody camper vans clogging up our narrow roads and parking wherever they fancy at night time!

    Absolutely nothing on this planet can beat a sunny winter's day in West Cork!




  • 2020Vision wrote: »
    Nonsense! It's far nicer in the winter. The air is clearer, the views are more dramatic and the stormy winter seas are far more dramatic than the summer calm.

    Plus you have fewer tourists, less traffic, and, best of all, none of those bloody camper vans clogging up our narrow roads and parking wherever they fancy at night time!

    Absolutely nothing on this planet can beat a sunny winter's day in West Cork!

    I understand and agree, I would enjoy that environment too but for someone coming from a busy large town or city they may see it differently.




  • .red. wrote: »
    One of my pet peeves is snooty people who call themselves "middle class"
    Maybe it's not the Irish, maybe it's you?
    One of my pet peeves is the bullsh1t anti middle class bandwagon. Some of it from people who are as middle class as they come. Another form of sneering at people. Zero evidence that someone calling themselves middle class are snooty.

    Anyway, if the OP finds people here rude, then that's their experience. Although I think they might be on a wind-up. In which case they're succeeding.




  • [Quote: kravmaga
    Visiting Ireland on a holiday and living in Ireland are two completely different things.

    I know some Americans that loved visiting Ireland every year, when they retired they sold up in USA and moved here, within 6 months they were back in the States.[/quote]

    [Quote: Stones;112322299"]And why is this happening, in your opinion? Genuine question.[/quote]

    My own take on this is because a tourists perception of Ireland is informed by their interactions with hotel staff, tour guides, visitor attractions - businesses whose MO is to be accomodating and gracious to visitors no matter how insufferable they might be. Some tourists also come with a twinkly eyed idea of what Ireland is and the services they access on holiday won't necessarily disprove that. When they come to live they are just another regular Joe trying to get through their day like anyone else. They don't get special treatment anymore.

    North Americans in particular seem to love that fawning attention so the tourism industry will lay it on thick for them. The average Irish person hates that insincere arse licking so you generally won't get it from customer service staff in day to day interactions (thankfully).

    Personally I think we are a friendly enough bunch. We just have a different approach. I have heard similar complaints from Americans who settled here before though. Frustration that things don't happen when they snap their fingers at staff, (that level of entitlement seems rude here) complaints that it's easy to have a superficial conversation about the weather but it takes years to actually be considered someone's friend. (I don't want a random stranger trying to wriggle their way into my life uninvited.) That's not a problem with the populace of the country though. If you come to a new environment you have to adjust to it, not expect the new environment to anticipate and accommodate what you are already familiar with.




  • I don't believe in group identity and assigning characteristics to countries/races etc.
    If people are not nice it is probably unintentional.
    Folks that live in the cities now are stressed out with traffic and just trying to get by. People can be very submissive and shy which can appear as rudeness.
    Eye contact is difficult for many people. Speaking up is difficult for many people. All of which can appear as not acknowledging someone.
    Depression is at shocking rates. We have no idea what is going on in peoples lives so we should be treating each other with kindness.
    I believe the best way to get through each day is intentionally be nice and smile at everybody I meet and say "hello". I probably get a 60/40 positive/negative response.
    Every time I get a successful result from a customer service phone call (utilities, government office, etc) I offer to provide a recommendation to the manager of the rep. People are often delighted with that.

    It is your responsibility to be nice to people and it will multiply outward. It really does. (and by your I mean everybody's)

    P.S. The word "racist" gets thrown about far too easily these days.
    In general, people should be far more cautious with their language. It is a serious claim and should be presented with evidence and not anecdotal.




  • My PhD supervisor once told an American collaborator we were working with to ‘Mind himself’ when ending a call. Some years later when working for that American I had to explain to him how it wasn’t rude or a threat to his personal safety.

    On other occasions I’ve found myself ‘translating’ for visiting European students who are asking technicians for something. We had a wonderful machinist from darkest Tipp who was incomprehensible to your typical french intern. For example a student once came in with a drawing for something to be made and the reply was along the lines of, “please god, sure leave it up there and I’ll give it a shake’.

    As a nation we often speak a very different form of english to what most other do. In the lens of the hyper false American approach it can come across as rude.


  • Advertisement


  • Raconteuse wrote: »
    One of my pet peeves is the bullsh1t anti middle class bandwagon. Some of it from people who are as middle class as they come. Another form of sneering at people. Zero evidence that someone calling themselves middle class are snooty.

    Anyway, if the OP finds people here rude, then that's their experience. Although I think they might be on a wind-up. In which case they're succeeding.


    Middle-Class in the US is a term used a bit differently anyway.
    In Ireland we follow the UK in seeing it, rightly or wrongly, as an exclusionary term of privilege.


    In the US its applied more to working people who earn a decent standard of living, and education for their children, through their skill and hard work. It's not a prejorative term and in fact nowadays it seems to be brandished more by politicians on the US Left bemoaning the shrinking of the middle class as a result of soaring inequality since the late 1970s.


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement