Why are most families houses and lives in a mess???

v638sg7k1a92bx

I’ve had the pleasure of being invited to several homes of young families recently and by young I mean new parents in their late 30’s and 40’s...

I’m aghast at how much crap people accumulate in their homes! Ikea boxes full of kids toys shoved in corners. My experience is limited to Dublin where all the “young” families with their delusions of grandeur want to live in the south east part of Dublin in houses they can barely afford all the while their lives are in chaos with plastic toys strewn everywhere, both working, 2 cars, hand-balling kids, 9 - 5, dinner Seriously, one of the parents needs to stay home and organise their lives.

Oops!

People worry too much about what everybody thinks of them these days.... Social media, i remember a time it used to be fun..

Day Lewin

Not to mention, all those plastic toys are terrible for the planet
And the cars
Simplify your lives, people! Or there won't be much of a future for those kids :-(

IAMAMORON

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

I’ve had the pleasure of being invited to several homes of young families recently and by young I mean new parents in their late 30’s and 40’s...

I’m aghast at how much crap people accumulate in their homes! Ikea boxes full of kids toys shoved in corners. My experience is limited to Dublin where all the “young” families with their delusions of grandeur want to live in the south east part of Dublin in houses they can barely afford all the while their lives are in chaos with plastic toys strewn everywhere, both working, 2 cars, hand-balling kids, 9 - 5, dinner Seriously, one of the parents needs to stay home and organise their lives.

Your starting early Ebeneezer. At least wait until after Halloween before kicking off.

How other families and households live their lives is none of your business....

alswearengen

Day Lewin wrote: »

Not to mention, all those plastic toys are terrible for the planet
And the cars
Simplify your lives, people! Or there won't be much of a future for those kids :-(

Cult member present

Lance-kun

It's very likely that some people want to give their children what they never had as youths.

JohnnyFlash

You drunk, pal?

v638sg7k1a92bx

Lance-kun wrote: »

It's very likely that some people want to give their children what they never had as youths.

What, a messy house, chaotic life, absentee parents and processed food?

Probably a mixture of two things OP. Increased levels of consumerism, and smaller homes.

Your typical three bed entry-level home in the 1970s was probably 30% larger than today's version. Not that today's entry-level property is a three-bed in the first place. Property sizes are shrinking and we have more 'stuff'.

Furthermore, it isnt typical for there to be a spare parent at home these days to take care of the house. Add all of these factors together and yeah, we probably are a bit less tidy.

v638sg7k1a92bx

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You drunk, pal?

You mad bro?

v638sg7k1a92bx

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Probably a mixture of two things OP. Increased levels of consumerism, and smaller homes.

Your typical three bed entry-level home in the 1970s was probably 30% larger than today's version. Not that today's entry-level property typically isn't a three-bed in the first place. Property sizes are shrinking and we have more 'stuff'.

Smaller families should make up the difference - significantly.

banie01

Because family homes are lived in, and life doesn't revolve around staging ones home for the review of judgemental pricks or social media...

Wonder how Mrs Hinches gaff will look when she's coping with a baby rather than a pampered pooch?

v638sg7k1a92bx

banie01 wrote: »

Because family homes are lived in, and life doesn't revolve around staging ones home for the review of judgemental pricks or social media...

Wonder how Mrs Hinches gaff will look when she's coping with a baby rather than a pampered pooch?

Nonsense. Sounds like your making excuses. That’s like the people who wear track suits every day because they want to be comfortable.

cj maxx

IAMAMORON wrote: »

Your starting early Ebeneezer. At least wait until after Halloween before kicking off.

How other families and households live their lives is none of your business....

Yep MYOB
With 2 , only 2, my house is a kip. With toys etc ( are you gonna put them away after every play!), hankies / kitchen roll near at hand , food preparation for 3 dinners, accidents. I could go on and on. But you know what, we have great craic mostly so stay in your ivory palace and don't bother the neighbour's

banie01

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

Nonsense. Sounds like your making excuses. That’s like the people who wear track suits every day because they want to be comfortable.

Every day?
That's practically animalistic!
It's just a recipe for societal chaos!

I would never condone that!

I usually do at least 3 days in my "good" pyjamas, 3 in my designer trackies and I am quite a fan of naked Thursdays.
Keep some salubrious variety!

v638sg7k1a92bx

cjmc wrote: »

Yep MYOB
With 2 , only 2, my house is a kip. With toys etc ( are you gonna put them away after every play!), hankies / kitchen roll near at hand , food preparation for 3 dinners, accidents. I could go on and on. But you know what, we have great craic mostly so stay in your ivory palace and don't bother the neighbour's

Who else is going to put it away? I don’t understand, is this a new phenomenon that families never had to deal with before it just your household?

Gregor Samsa

My house is a fücking mess. 3 kids. Two six year olds will just make absolute ****e of your house. Given my experience with their older sister, I’m hoping that by the time they’re 10 things will settle down a bit. I’m in the kitchen at the moment. There’s 4 bikes and two dismantled bunk beds sitting here, surrounded by school bags, doll buggies, runners swimming gear and a musical keyboard. I can barely see any of the surface of the dining room table. The living room is full of toys. There’s an entire bedroom upstairs I can’t get into because of stuff.

It’s called life. It’s a quarter to one in the morning, and I’m just finished making the lunches. I’m up at 7 tomorrow - I mean today All day was in work. Once I got home, between bringing them to football, doing the shopping, helping with their homework, cooking dinner and having a bit of time to play with them before getting them to bed, there’s been no time to sit down. once they went to bed, I did washing and some tidying. posted once or twice on Boards just as a distraction between chores. My wife was at a meeting all day in Dublin, and once she got back back she had to visit her sick mother in hospital 40km away, so that was her evening gone. I spent all last week abroad for work, while she spent most of it in both Limerick and Cork hospitals with her mother.

So yeah, the fücking house is a mess. If any cünt wants to judge me for it, they can fück right off.

cj maxx

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

Who else is going to put it away? I don’t understand, is this a new phenomenon that families never had to deal with before it just your household?

No. Families were always like that imo. Just people's perception of what family life should be like have changed. People post on social media about their perfect kids . Not how they run riot , because daddy is busy cooking dinner, giving medicine, doing homework, cleaning the kitchen, organising doctors appointments with school times. That's not to mention the fact that daddy or Mammy might have other rather important things to do. But the house doesn't look tidy !!!!!!! Close the door on your way out !

bigpink

How did we manage or our mothers with so little in the house

Lance-kun

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

What, a messy house, chaotic life, absentee parents and processed food?

Houses are lived in. Unfortunately both parents usually have to work these days to afford housing and childcare. Just because it's not up to your snobby standards doesn't mean their lives are any worse than yours. Having a neat and tidy home doesn't mean anything if the people in it aren't happy and vice versa. Your standards are not theirs.

freshpopcorn

These people are clearly not good enough for you OP.
Please associate with your own type.

Raconteuse

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

one of the parents needs to stay home and organise their lives.

They probably would if they could afford to.

Graces7

Lance-kun wrote: »

Houses are lived in. Unfortunately both parents usually have to work these days to afford housing and childcare. Just because it's not up to your snobby standards doesn't mean their lives are any worse than yours. Having a neat and tidy home doesn't mean anything if the people in it aren't happy and vice versa. Your standards are not theirs.

We had both parents out at work; then we had only one parent, also out at work. We were taught to keep our toys etc in our own rooms and to leave the living room etc clear.

EmmetSpiceland

I, personally, would recommend any household, regardless of whether there are children present or not, that has two working adults to get a “cleaner” in, at least, once a week.

There is nothing worse than spending your evenings and weekends playing “catch up” on housework.

For the cost involved you could, easily, forgo the pizza, Chinese, Indian or whatever “take away” you enjoy. Or skip a night out every once in awhile.

Wanderer78

debt rocks!

italodisco

I am on of these mess folk.

My wife buys toys non stop for the kid, house if strewn with toys.

Not to mention the dust.

No sex life, worrying about money 24/7....

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Both our faults

anewme

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I, personally, would recommend any household, regardless of whether there are children present or not, that has two working adults to get a “cleaner” in, at least, once a week.

There is nothing worse than spending your evenings and weekends playing “catch up” on housework.

For the cost involved you could, easily, forgo the pizza, Chinese, Indian or whatever “take away” you enjoy. Or skip a night out every once in awhile.

Theres only me in tbe house and I'm looking at getting a cleaner in.

I work hard during the week and at the weekend don't want to spend my time off doing housework. Lifes too short. Two hours every second week should be enough to keep the house in order.

NIMAN

Difference being, when I was young we got maybe 3 or 4 things for Xmas.
Now kids get 12-15 things.

Plus many get toys bought to them all year round, not just Xmas and birthdays.

I'd agree people have too much stuff. Far too much.

Mongfinder General

italodisco wrote: »

I am on of these mess folk.

My wife buys toys non stop for the kid, house if strewn with toys.

Not to mention the dust.

No sex life, worrying about money 24/7....

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Both our faults

Similar situation although I do get the back wheels in the odd time. However, social media is a huge drain on time. She spends ****ing hours on it and then wonders why sh!t doesn’t get done.

Fr Tod Umptious

cjmc wrote: »

Yep MYOB
With 2 , only 2, my house is a kip. With toys etc ( are you gonna put them away after every play!), hankies / kitchen roll near at hand , food preparation for 3 dinners, accidents. I could go on and on. But you know what, we have great craic mostly so stay in your ivory palace and don't bother the neighbour's

Exactly
We have 4 kids
I can say that almost everything in the house is "out of place"
A toy in the baking cupboard, a sock under the TV where the remote is kept, an old school copy on the floor of the bathroom.

But so what, we are happy.
We tidy up regularly but it will be a mess again soon.

And it will be a quiet tidy house all the time before we know it.

handlemaster

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

I’ve had the pleasure of being invited to several homes of young families recently and by young I mean new parents in their late 30’s and 40’s...

I’m aghast at how much crap people accumulate in their homes! Ikea boxes full of kids toys shoved in corners. My experience is limited to Dublin where all the “young” families with their delusions of grandeur want to live in the south east part of Dublin in houses they can barely afford all the while their lives are in chaos with plastic toys strewn everywhere, both working, 2 cars, hand-balling kids, 9 - 5, dinner Seriously, one of the parents needs to stay home and organise their lives.

So many things wrong with this post .
In modern society it usually takes two parents to get a mortgage for that home.
That mess you are referring to is kids making memories.
Do you have kids yourself ? If you did you would know how hard it is to keep a home nice and tidy for the once in while vistors such as yourself who think kids should walk around in pristine home.
Trying walking a day in the life of a parent who is juggling school, commuting , bills ,work and relationship issues etc

TheMilkyPirate

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

My house is a fücking mess. 3 kids. Two six year olds will just make absolute ****e of your house. Given my experience with their older sister, I’m hoping that by the time they’re 10 things will settle down a bit. I’m in the kitchen at the moment. There’s 4 bikes and two dismantled bunk beds sitting here, surrounded by school bags, doll buggies, runners swimming gear and a musical keyboard. I can barely see any of the surface of the dining room table. The living room is full of toys. There’s an entire bedroom upstairs I can’t get into because of stuff.

It’s called life. It’s a quarter to one in the morning, and I’m just finished making the lunches. I’m up at 7 tomorrow - I mean today All day was in work. Once I got home, between bringing them to football, doing the shopping, helping with their homework, cooking dinner and having a bit of time to play with them before getting them to bed, there’s been no time to sit down. once they went to bed, I did washing and some tidying. posted once or twice on Boards just as a distraction between chores. My wife was at a meeting all day in Dublin, and once she got back back she had to visit her sick mother in hospital 40km away, so that was her evening gone. I spent all last week abroad for work, while she spent most of it in both Limerick and Cork hospitals with her mother.

So yeah, the fücking house is a mess. If any cünt wants to judge me for it, they can fück right off.

Sounds like a living nightmare to me.

iamwhoiam

If you are coming to see me come anytime . If you are coming to see my house make an appointment

Edgware

anewme wrote: »

Theres only me in tbe house and I'm looking at getting a cleaner in.

I work hard during the week and at the weekend dont want to spend my time off doing housework. LIfes too short. Two hours every second week should be enough to keep the house in order.

The secret is to doss as much as you can at work so you will have plenty energy for housework

whisky_galore

Nothing worse than a house that looks like a bomb slammed into a branch of Smyths Toys, half sucked sweets and dirty clothes thrown into the mix.
One place I know the kids' scribblings on the living room walls is tolerated.

EDit

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

My house is a fücking mess. 3 kids. Two six year olds will just make absolute ****e of your house. Given my experience with their older sister, I’m hoping that by the time they’re 10 things will settle down a bit. I’m in the kitchen at the moment. There’s 4 bikes and two dismantled bunk beds sitting here, surrounded by school bags, doll buggies, runners swimming gear and a musical keyboard. I can barely see any of the surface of the dining room table. The living room is full of toys. There’s an entire bedroom upstairs I can’t get into because of...

Don’t count on it

I have 2 teenage sons and they are just as messy as they always were. The difference is that they can tidy up themselves when asked (usually several times with associated threats and bribery). The noise they make is something else as well.

The thing is, my house growing up was exactly the same, 35+ years ago, and I remember my mum saying that when I left home (I was the youngest) the house became too quiet and too clean. I never understood that when I was younger, but I do now.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I have two daughters, 9 and 7 years old. They have a play room in which to keep all their toys in yet seemingly manage to distribute every single one of them between every other room in the house including the bathroom, utility room, hallway downstairs and the hallway/landing upstairs. I wouldn't have it any other way. They're happy and so therefore i'm happy.

Gregor Samsa

TheMilkyPirate wrote: »

Sounds like a living nightmare to me.

Of course it would be a living nightmare if you didn’t madly love the children, wife and dying in-law involved. There’s worse things than an untidy house.

Forty Seven

It's not difficult to teach kids to tidy after themselves. When you've got 3 kids and you're both working you'd be mad not to.

A place for everything and everything in its place. Don't buy **** you don't need and say no to your kids often. It's our job to raise them, not please them.

Keeping the house in order is easy with these little rules.

Dardania

During a recent apartment move, we had the joy of the "minimalist" version of this, when most of our childrens toys were packed up along with TV, couch etc.
The net result was just more space between the remaining toys & food, and our youngest not having enough empty space on colouring books so she moved onto the walls with her crayons....

It's a different life OP - maybe you'll get there some day. But my advice is, move home a few times - great way to get rid of crap. And motivate children to keep clean by a promise of watching some cartoons.

PhilOssophy

OP should outline his own situation, and why it is so much better, since he is in the mood to judge everyone else!

Fr_Dougal

Lazy parenting.

D3V!L

If my wife could teach her sadly departed boarder-collie to tidy up her dollies then why cant parents do the same with their kids. Its not very hard at all.

Feisar

My wife is what I like to call "visually clean" could be chaos around the corner, however as long as what the guests can see it's OK.

Guests are anyone that's not her parents.

Ifevera wiztherewas

Ah the old parent bashing on boards by non parents. It's been a whole ten minutes since the last. Then along comes Johnny I have ten kids who says I have kids so therefore am in a position to judge. Sure you are. You had ten kids alright but you spent every evening in the pub, arriving home smelling of curry and belching and farting your way through the night having tossed your skidmarked underwear on the bedroom floor for the wife to pick up and add to the laundry pile.

shesty

When you have kids...you will understand!!
Less crap is definitely needed, I have culled a lot of stuff.But still, my kids manage to distribute everything everywhere.And honestly, if a kid is grubby and untidy it means the kid has had a good day learning and playing.

Unfrotunately kids do not fit into neat and ordered adult lives.You have to learn to let go and get over yourself when you have kids.

But I have to agree on one thing - no kid needs piles of plastic rubbish that sings and talks.Those toys are totally unnecessary.If those parents dumped at least half or more of that stuff, the kids wouldnt even notice and would probably spend more time playing with the bit of stuff that's left because they can focus on it properly.

PhoenixParker

As a parent I rarely buy "****e we don't need".
My kid just had his birthday and I didn't even get him a present. It's not parents, it's everyone else who buys the mountains of toys.

He got more "****e we don't need" in one day then I'd have gotten in several years. I got a bike when I was 5. At 3 he has a ride on yoke, a balance bike and a scooter, none of them were bought by us. He has a whole box full of duplo that's more then all the Lego I had accumulated by the age of 18. Toy cars, big trucks, toy kitchen, you kitchen accessories . . .

He loves it all and plays with it regularly. We have decent storage and occasionally it all even gets fully tidied away but it's tough to plan storage and stay on top of your when you're not the one bringing it into the house.

silent_spark

I think we all have way too much stuff, and it makes tidying and cleaning much more difficult than it needs to be.

I don’t have children, but the amount of toys my nephews have is insane - and half of it is broken, with bits lost etc. Their house is in a constant state of chaos, and they always claim to be broke. A few years ago I stopped adding to the chaos and mostly buy them experiences instead. For Christmas I buy them each a book to go with it, as they’re still quite young and like the parcel aspect.

At the moment I hate putting away clean laundry as my side of the wardrobe is way too full to make it a straightforward task. The likelihood of me putting it off for a day longer than needed is quite high because of this. I could donate half of it and I don’t think anyone would notice.

Feisar

Ifevera wiztherewas wrote: »

Ah the old parent bashing on boards by non parents. It's been a whole ten minutes since the last. Then along comes Johnny I have ten kids who says I have kids so therefore am in a position to judge. Sure you are. You had ten kids alright but you spent every evening in the pub, arriving home smelling of curry and belching and farting your way through the night having tossed your skidmarked underwear on the bedroom floor for the wife to pick up and add to the laundry pile.

huh?

Ifevera wiztherewas

Feisar wrote:

huh?

I thought it was quite descriptive myself. Do you think I should pad it out with a second chapter?

ax530

a messy house here with too many toys, because they play with the toys a lot. I cant understand when see pictures of neat toy rooms with displays why keep the toys if not being played with. As other posters have mentioned its grannies ect who get the presents for kids. So much availability of toys & treats on offer lots cannot resist.
Both parents working is not always just for financial reasons, if people have studied, gained qualifications ect why should they stop that work they enjoy to stay at home and creche offers so much for children