Feeling like I'm done with my marriage...

ILoveYourVibes

OP get a lawyer.

Diamonds are not a woman's best friend. Lawyers are.

LegacyUser

I'm in the process of getting a lawyer. I did have a small amount in savings, unfortunately it might just put me over the limit for legal aid.

I am exhausted and I have so much to think about right now but with him out of the house it is lovely and calm. The children are even sleeping better.

Princess Calla

I would see paying for a goodfamily law lawyer as an important investment at this time. I know it's money you'd rather spend elsewhere.

I admire you for not putting up with him and standing up for yourself.

Fakediamond

There is a good website called rightsofwomen.org.uk which is a good resource for women in difficult legal situations.

MissShihTzu

OP - Make an appointment to see a solicitor at the CAB. They often have family law solicitors who can advise and write letters. It's free.

I'd also ask them for recommendations for a decent family law solicitor and think about getting a barring order on a more permanent basis.

Confused dad

Would be ideal to try counselling if possible. HOwever, if you feel trapped in an unhappy marriage, don't prolong your unhappiness if you feel that counselling won't help. He doesn't know how good he has it.

MissShihTzu

Fakediamond wrote: »

There is a good website called rightsofwomen.org.uk which is a good resource for women in difficult legal situations.

I totally second that. My friend found it immensely useful when leaving her marriage at home in London. Lots and lots of useful not legal advice for which you must get proper legal advice. Practically every situation is covered and written very clearly.

Dial Hard

Confused dad wrote: »

Would be ideal to try counselling if possible. HOwever, if you feel trapped in an unhappy marriage, don't prolong your unhappiness if you feel that counselling won't help. He doesn't know how good he has it.

Joint counselling isn’t recommended in abusive relationships.

joeguevara

MissShihTzu wrote: »

OP - Make an appointment to see a solicitor at the CAB. They often have family law solicitors who can advise and write letters. It's free.

I'd also ask them for recommendations for a decent family law solicitor and think about getting a barring order on a more permanent basis.

Great advice but wrong link. Link provided was for UK. Irish link here https://www.flac.ie/index.html

Hope it gets better

Dial Hard

joeguevara wrote: »

Great advice but wrong link. Link provided was for UK. Irish link here https://www.flac.ie/index.html

Hope it gets better

OP lives in the UK.

MissShihTzu

joeguevara wrote: »

Great advice but wrong link. Link provided was for UK. Irish link here https://www.flac.ie/index.html

Hope it gets better

The OP lives in the UK. The links given are correct.

LegacyUser

I moved into a new apartment with my children this month. I'm keeping himself at a distance as much as possible, even if he still tries some really petty elements of control. The children are a bit calmer - the older one does ask a few questions, but I'm trying to reassure him that he is loved and cared for and always will be. I came home for 2 weeks at Christmas and the kids loved being around family back in Ireland too.

I'm planning to file for divorce ASAP, no waiting period really here when it's on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. I could fill a book with that...

MissShihTzu

Oh, brilliant news! You go, girl!! I am so glad you and the kids were able to have a nice Christmas with a bit of peace and quiet.

You did the best thing possible. Yes, the children will be a little unsettled for a while, but keep doing as you are. Don't speak badly of their Dad (no matter how sh1tty he is being) and always reassure them that Mum and Dad love them both. If your husband continues to behave like an ass, they will figure it out soon enough.

Yes, it's only a year at home IIRC, so get the ball rolling as soon as you can.

Good luck to you and the kids!

Princess Calla

Delighted to hear the update!

I was thinking of you over Christmas hoping you were having a peaceful one.

HildaOgdenx

Very glad to hear your update, OP. Well done you. Onwards and upwards.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

That's great to hear. I hope 2020 marks the start of a much more peaceful and happy life for you and your children. Well done

And seriously, I'd read that book.