Stories friends swear are true

Paddy Cow

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Yeah, I’ve a “friend” who’s always telling those type of “tales”. Been going on for over twenty years at this stage.

There was the one about the guy who finds out he’s about to ride a member of the travelling community when she tells him to “horse it into me, boss!”.

Or the one about the “closet goblin” where a guy takes acid and basically kidnaps a child with special needs and locks him into a wardrobe.

Or the one about the guy who “sh the bed” in his girlfriend’s house and blames it on the dog, which gets put down as it was old and crapping inside is a sign they aren’t going to last long.

Or the one about the guy pulling a “strange”, hot, girl, who, during sex, stuffs a face cloth up his arse telling him he’ll “cum like a horse”. She whips it out as he’s about to blow his “muck” but instead of the frontal “joy” he ends up shing all over the place. He then runs to the bathroom to clean up and when he returns the hot girl is rolling around and making “poo angels” on the bed.

All juvenile, fictitious, nonsense and all told with a straight face and a “swear to god”.

There's also the classic where a guy is at a house party. He goes into a room and his friend is going at it with an unconscious girl. He finishes and tells the guy to have a go, so he does. The girl starts to wake up and he realises it's his sister.

Paddy Cow

Standman wrote: »

There was this one I actually read on boards, a bit out there but possibly the most plausible one I've come across.

The best part about that is the username :pac:

Paddy Cow

mfceiling wrote: »

Bono having dinner and the person asks his dining companion to take a photo of them and Bono together.

The person who they asked to take a pic just happened to be Bruce Springsteen.

This one even made it onto the red chair on Graham Norton.

EmmetSpiceland

xabi wrote: »

Aussie bird on her period tells yer man to “stick it up my ****ter mate”

When I heard that it was “crank it up...”

Masala

Everyone has an uncle and aunt who met an old friend on the street laden with Penneys bags and the friend was going to get something to eat. He of course invites the uncle and aunt to join him which they do. After the meal .. the stranger asks the uncle to watch the Penney bags while he goes to the toilet. Of course ... he never comes back and the uncle gets stung for the cost of the 3 meals. AND when they open the Penneys bags... they stuffed with newspapers.

Capt'n Midnight

MeTheMan wrote: »

Wasn't there a fella in the last EU elections who got one vote and was in the count centre with wife and kids?

Patrick Feeney , but he stood in two electoral areas and got 32 votes in the other one.

nthclare

If you walk backwards around the church 12 time's at midnight you'll see the Devil....

bcklschaps

The Princess Bride wrote: »

An acquaintance told me of her friend who was in the local shopping centre
And she looked into her buggy and saw that her daughter was gone.
And she screamed and the security guard came running.
And he closed down the shopping centre so all of the exit doors were shut.
And they searched for the child.
And they went into the bathrooms.

...and found the child, who'd been changed into boy clothing and had had her hair cut short to make her look like a boy.
And this happened in the town next to us and oddly enough, never made it onto the news or into the papers.

Clearly untrue, but even if it were , imagine the amount of time all that would have taken? Why wouldn't they just bring the toddler out the door to begin with before the alarm was raised.

littlevillage

Theres a guy works down the chip shop, swears he's Elvis

blade1

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

There was the one about the guy who finds out he’s about to ride a member of the travelling community when she tells him to “horse it into me, boss!”.

Reminds me of the night I was dropping this one home and we pull up outside a halting site.
I said "I thought you said you were a nurse?"
She said "no, I said I was one of the Ward sisters".

nthclare

littlevillage wrote: »

Theres a guy works down the chip shop, swears he's Elvis

Is his name Aaron Esley ?

We have one of those in Clare.

the beer revolu

littlevillage wrote: »

Theres a guy works down the chip shop, swears he's Elvis

Liar!

Poor Uncle Tom

nthclare wrote: »

Everyone I know from Cork City who's over 44 knows someone or themselves seen Nirvana in Sir Henry s even though I heard that there was only twenty odd people there...

Yeah, the rest were sound though.....

patmac

xabi wrote: »

Aussie bird on her period tells yer man to “stick it up my ****ter mate”

This happened (was told by) to a friend of mine in the mid eighties, ‘sorry I’m flying a red flag tonight, but you can give me one up the ****ter if you want’
Also U2’s first gig in the Cellar in Galway, must have been thousands at it(50 apparently).

Phileas Frog

nthclare wrote: »

If you walk backwards around the church 12 time's at midnight you'll see the Devil....

That one's true

patmac

There is also the story of the girl whose parents go away on her 18th birthday, she’s so annoyed that she calls her boyfriend round. They have sex and afterwards she says she’s hungry, so he carry’s her down the stairs naked into the sitting room, all her relatives are waiting there for the ‘surprise ‘ birthday party.

vriesmays

Back in the '80s banks were giving out loans to new bands who wanted to be the next u2.

the beer revolu

Immigrants get cars from the dole to get to work.

greenttc

have heard two that are typical "Irish hate the celebrity" stories

first is the one where a guy goes into queens bar in dalkey to meet a girl he is having a first date with, bono is there so he decides to ask bono if he would do him a favour and come over to say hello when the girl turns up so that he can impress her and Bono agrees. the girl turns up and a few minutes later bono walks over and slaps the guy on the back and says hello and the guy turns around and says "ah jaysus bono, will ya ever leave me alone can ya not see im on a date!"

the second is one where rosanna davidson was in anabelles (old nightclub in the burlington) and there is a group of lads there, one of them turns around and says to roseanna, "can i get a photo?" so she agrees and poses and puts on her best smile but the guy says "what are you doing"? and hands her a camera while putting his arm around his friend, gesturing that she should take a photo of him and his buddy's.

nothing like a good ol' celebrity shaming story for doing the rounds!

Ipso

littlevillage wrote: »

Theres a guy works down the chip shop, swears he's Elvis

And there’s a woman down the kebab shop who swears she’s Kirsty McColl.

freshpopcorn

They saw Santa on Christmas Eve or there parents brought them to see the real Santa!

ILoveYourVibes

freshpopcorn wrote: »

They saw Santa on Christmas Eve or there parents brought them to see the real Santa!

Cute.

tea and coffee

How many people swear they have heard these stories from friends but actually never have or just read them online?

redmgar

https://londonist.com/2010/11/fortean_london_the_corpse_on_the_tu

I heard this from someone in Australia, said it happened to their friend.

Feisar

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Not friends but i've personally lost count how many times a taxi driver has told me they saw the black woman leave the buggy at the bus stop.

Did the taxi driver not get offered the buggy as payment?

mariaalice

I like this one becaue it has a long history and is related to this allegorical myth or stroy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rich_man_and_Lazarus

Long story short, a small estate of large Celtic tiger million-pound house are built a short distance from a council estate anyway the first Halloween children from the council call around the first house they call to the man having no sweets gives them 20 euro the estate is the overrun with the children from the council estate thinking they are going to get money the other resident are up in arms about this.

The next year the estate hires security guards to keep the children from the council estate out on Halloween.

Gannicus

Here's a woefully odd story I heard back in my late teens (circa 2005) from a bloke I worked with and used to hang out with


He alledges he knew a girl that that lived near him that as a way to, when she was home alone, "look after herself" (for lack of a better term) ... by putting her old Nokia phone inside a condom and ring it from the land line so it would vibrate and that she tried the limited number of vibrate settings it had to see which was best.

He only ever gave her nickname and we never saw her around the village, EVER but he swore blind that she admitted this to a group of them when she was absolutely slaughtered drunk at a gaf party.

Myself or the lads never met anyone who could confirm this story so needless to say we couldn't believe it but it was always entertaining to hear him tell it because it was funny to us and he looked like an eejit telling it.

Feisar

Gannicus wrote: »

Here's a woefully odd story I heard back in my late teens (circa 2005) from a bloke I worked with and used to hang out with


He alledges he knew a girl that that lived near him that as a way to, when she was home alone, "look after herself" (for lack of a better term) ... by putting her old Nokia phone inside a condom and ring it from the land line so it would vibrate and that she tried the limited number of vibrate settings it had to see which was best.

He only ever gave her nickname and we never saw her around the village, EVER but he swore blind that she admitted this to a group of them when she was absolutely slaughtered drunk at a gaf party.

Myself or the lads never met anyone who could confirm this story so needless to say we couldn't believe it but it was always entertaining to hear him tell it because it was funny to us and he looked like an eejit telling it.

To be fair if I had a clit and a vibrating phone I probably would have tried it.

Gannicus

Feisar wrote: »

To be fair if I had a clit and a vibrating phone I probably would have tried it.

You do.

Gannicus

greenttc wrote: »

the second is one where rosanna davidson was in anabelles (old nightclub in the burlington) and there is a group of lads there, one of them turns around and says to roseanna, "can i get a photo?" so she agrees and poses and puts on her best smile but the guy says "what are you doing"? and hands her a camera while putting his arm around his friend, gesturing that she should take a photo of him and his buddy's.

My leaving cert English Teacher told us that very same story but it was Ian Wright in (the now gone) Fireworks nightclub on Pearse Streeet :D:D