Mugging up the mountains

recedite

Balders93 wrote: »

They rammed me from behind with the front corner of their car bringing me down instantly.

Nasty.

recedite

Fitting the bike in the car is not really relevant IMO.
I've often seen bikes sticking out of the back of hatchbacks and even saloon cars, especially on a rainy day. If you don't mind getting a scratch on the bike its easy enough. Bungee straps or rope holding down the boot is an extra refinement.

Taxuser1

Great cars, the Nissan Almera, bullet proof and will go all day. Had a hatchback at one time. My bike 56cm wouldnt get in the boot not even half of it with the wheels off. Cannot for the life of me see how a 58cm frame, thats 23 inches would fit in the back without moving about or falling out. The car likely would have had to stop to adjust. Maybe somebody saw something strange.

Sally Gap is a long way from safety any direction. if after you do your McGuiver/Die Hard best and escape with your bike, pedalling away, just make sure to pick the escape route with the tailwind to give yourself your best chance. Poor luck to succesfully outmanoevre professional scobies only to find your 500 watts escape gets you a mile down the road out of breath before they escape the bonds you fashioned from heather and old nappies and chase you down.

delboythedub

magicbastarder wrote: »

also, is there such a thing as a double barrel rifle?

Yes and these would be centre fire rifles

Chiparus

delboythedub wrote: »

Yes and these would be centre fire rifles

You can get double barrel rimfire rifles, why you would want one, who knows.

recedite

Taxuser1 wrote: »

Sally Gap is a long way from safety any direction. if after you do your McGuiver/Die Hard best and escape with your bike, pedalling away, just make sure to pick the escape route with the tailwind to give yourself your best chance.

The term "Sally Gap" covers quite a wide area, not just the crossroads. If you were up somewhere above Glenmacnass waterfall, you could be down in the hippy cafe in Laragh within 10 -15 minutes, munching on vegan biscuits and taking a decaff to calm your nerves.
If you were somewhere around Kippure mountain, you could be down in Glencree in 10 mins, in the cafe that tries its best to be cheerful in Ireland's dreariest courtyard.

cjt156

dave_o_brien wrote: »

I think Cram's point is that:

1. We don't know that the poster above is the person reported in the media with absolute certainty.
2. We can't know with certainty if what the poster describes as having occured is an accurate description of what occured with absolute certainty.
3. We don't know that what was reported to have happened in the media was a fair reporting of what the victim reported to the gardaí or to the media.
4. We can't know if the media reports reflect what occured to the alleged victim with absolute certainty.

The application of Occam's razor suggests that the number of assumption required to believe that the above poster is the person reported in the media is equal to the nnumber of assumptions required to believe the opposite, and therefore both are equally valid.

I choose to believe that he is who he says he is and that what he alleges happened occurred broadly as he is claiming.

All that being so, the crucial point (to my mind) is that the (traditional and social) media coverage over these isolated incidents is in no way proportionate to their occurrence.

I've been called a madman for heading out on the bike while these scrotes are roaming the highlands like Anto Turpin. I pointed out that I'd be far more likely to be knocked down by a numpty looking at their phone, but I don't think that helped my case much...

EDit

TBH, these guys sound like a pair of idiots. They see someone on a bike, decide to ram him off the road (probably damaging the bike), he falls off into a ditch (probably damaging the bike), they then cram the bike into the back of a hatchback (probably damaging the bike)....and then what? Drive back to Dublin and get €30 for it because it’s ****ed? Hardly seems a worthwhile return on investment.

dave_o_brien

cjt156 wrote: »

All that being so, the crucial point (to my mind) is that the (traditional and social) media coverage over these isolated incidents is in no way proportionate to their occurrence.

I've been called a madman for heading out on the bike while these scrotes are roaming the highlands like Anto Turpin. I pointed out that I'd be far more likely to be knocked down by a numpty looking at their phone, but I don't think that helped my case much...

Of course, but the concept of proportional response in media coverage is often outweighed by the ability of novelty to capture the attention. Most media platforms have a responsibility to shareholders to make a profit, and so will pay attention to things that are interesting rather than relevant from time to time to maximise exposure.

CramCycle

I can see the headlines now:
Statistically, Ireland is 95% confident that nothing out of the ordinary happened today, mush like yesterday and tomorrow.

dave_o_brien

CramCycle wrote: »

I can see the headlines now:
Statistically, Ireland is 95% confident that nothing out of the ordinary happened today, mush like yesterday and tomorrow.

"What are the Government Doing About Death?

Outrage builds as hundreds of people die of Natural Causes in Ireland alone while the Government sit back and discuss Brexit, which is only happening in one bloody country in the world."

magicbastarder

Another attack on cyclist reported in Sally Gap area of Co Wicklow
http://www.stickybottle.com/latest-news/another-attack-on-cyclist-reported-in-sally-gap-area-of-co-wicklow/

Derrydingle

Very of putting for anyone who spins alone

magicbastarder

i've removed some posts, mainly a stupid off topic one and the response to it. apologies to those who were responding in good faith.
as you were.

doozerie

Daroxtar wrote: »

Pepper spray is fine but I figure if you're going ahead with it, gouging the eyes clean out of the sockets would offer longer term options for escape or set things up nicely for a prolonged torture session. With that in mind, I suggest always carrying some pliers, rope, caustic soda, petrol, 22oz estwing hammer, a small electric drill and elbow length gloves when heading up the Sally gap on the bike.

I see some practical challenges, not least that you'd be shunned by the weight weenie community (probably even the weight balloonie community) for carrying a 22oz hammer on the bike. And that's before we consider the drill. I can't recall for certain but I think Estwing make a carbon fibre hammer too though, with an appropriate bike mount it might even get some appreciative glances - after all, a carbon anvil lashed to the seat post would be the envy of many just because it's carbon.

The eyes out of sockets idea is a great one though. For maximum deterrent effect though, the eyeballs should be displayed on spikes near the gap. Unfortunately the magpies and greycrows are likely to target them of course, but that's where the pepper spray comes in. ...as a deterrent, like, not as a seasoning.

magicbastarder

doozerie wrote: »

you'd be shunned by the weight weenie community (probably even the weight balloonie community) for carrying a 22oz hammer on the bike

even more so for carrying an imperial hammer rather than a metric one.

magicbastarder

i am trying to imagine the most schwarzeneggery line possible in a hypothetical situation where arnie disables/kills the bad guy using part of a bike.
the obvious one is where he quickly undoes his headset, disassembles the front of his bike, and impales his assailant on a tree with the resulting available part, and leaves with a sardonic
'fork you'.

doozerie

magicbastarder wrote: »

i am trying to imagine the most schwarzeneggery line possible in a hypothetical situation where arnie disables/kills the bad guy using part of a bike.
the obvious one is where he quickly undoes his headset, disassembles the front of his bike, and impales his assailant on a tree with the resulting available part, and leaves with a sardonic
'fork you'.

"I'll be back!"

"...for my bike part, do you know how expensive those things are?"

RacoonQueen

Derrydingle wrote: »

Very of putting for anyone who spins alone

Absolutely is. Thought twice about it on my way up on Thursday and was definitely hesitant...more so when I passed a transit just after viewing point who was parked up and decided to move on and go in my direction just after I passed it...was all ready to do a swift u-turn back to viewing point where a few cyclists where hanging round. Alas, he passed me out and went on his merry way.
I'm not sure even if I was with one person it would really help anyway if there are two or more of them in a car/van they can easily overpower two cyclists who are trying to figure out wtf is going on. Shock can stop you even thinking of looking for vehicle details...when lads tried to push me off up there before I was in a 'did that really just happen? No..it can't have...' state of mind until I saw them do the same to the next guy up the road.

RobertFoster

magicbastarder wrote: »

i am trying to imagine the most schwarzeneggery line possible in a hypothetical situation where arnie disables/kills the bad guy using part of a bike.
the obvious one is where he quickly undoes his headset, disassembles the front of his bike, and impales his assailant on a tree with the resulting available part, and leaves with a sardonic
'fork you'.

Throws a seatpost like a knife, leaving just the saddle protruding from the baddie's chest, "Take a seat."

A burly henchman tries to get a jump on him, resulting in a violent retaliatory beatdown with a crankset, "Wait your turn..." Then as the henchman sits slumped on the floor seeing stars, Arnie smashes a wheel over his head destroying the spokes and using the rim as a restraint, "You spoke too soon."

When it comes to bike handling skills though, I think Jackie has Arnold beat:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHVaHqnupfc

magicbastarder

arnie holds the bad guy down, winds some faux cork tape around his neck, and proceeds to strangle him with it.
when he's dead, arnie gets up, and as he's walking away, takes one last glance back and says

'that's a wrap'.

buffalo

magicbastarder wrote: »

i am trying to imagine the most schwarzeneggery line possible in a hypothetical situation where arnie disables/kills the bad guy using part of a bike.
the obvious one is where he quickly undoes his headset, disassembles the front of his bike, and impales his assailant on a tree with the resulting available part, and leaves with a sardonic
'fork you'.

Or he could use the other end of the frame to pin them to the tree...

"Stay there."

letape

RobertFoster wrote: »

Throws a seatpost like a knife, leaving just the saddle protruding from the baddie's chest, "Take a seat."

A burly henchman tries to get a jump on him, resulting in a violent retaliatory beatdown with a crankset, "Wait your turn..." Then as the henchman sits slumped on the floor seeing stars, Arnie smashes a wheel over his head destroying the spokes and using the rim as a restraint, "You spoke too soon."

When it comes to bike handling skills though, I think Jackie has Arnold beat:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHVaHqnupfc

One of the funniest posts I’ve ever read on boards!! Great cycling puns!

nthclare

This reminds me of Adam Ant stand and deliver....

The dandy highway man....

There's a hilly place in Clare which goes from Gallows hill, ontowards Cratloe, or Woodcock hill.

For centuries it was well known for highway men to rob people along these route's.

This is definitely not a modern phenomenon, it's just an older art, but modernised with the use of a mechanically propelled vehicle to engage unaware victims and rob them of their horses "bike" and money.....

Quite interesting that it's reviving in the east coast, but I can't see it happening in the West much...

Stand and deliver.....

Rechuchote

What's that Jackie Chan film? I want to see it.

magicbastarder

posts discussing ads/boards layout moved to the flamme rouge thread

RobertFoster

Rechuchote wrote: »

What's that Jackie Chan film? I want to see it.

Project A from 1983. Both subtitled and dubbed versions are on YouTube if you can't find the DVD.

Lusk_Doyle

RobertFoster wrote: »

Throws a seatpost like a knife, leaving just the saddle protruding from the baddie's chest, "Take a seat."

A burly henchman tries to get a jump on him, resulting in a violent retaliatory beatdown with a crankset, "Wait your turn..." Then as the henchman sits slumped on the floor seeing stars, Arnie smashes a wheel over his head destroying the spokes and using the rim as a restraint, "You spoke too soon."

When it comes to bike handling skills though, I think Jackie has Arnold beat:

Sounds more like McBain than Arnie to me.

magicbastarder

arnie, seated next to the bad guy on a plane, wraps a gatorskin around his neck and chokes him to death. he arranges a blanket and a hat on him to make it looks as if he's asleep.
when the air hostess comes past, he says 'do me a favour, don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired'.

secman

Went out for a spin tonight, up to Manor Kilbride and up military hill, down ballinascorney...punctured on the Belgard road, took a bit longer in the dark to get sorted, a van pulls over , was hoping it wouldn't get dodgy.... guy rolls down the window and offers to give me a lift as he had gone past me earlier and turned back to check if i was okay and needed a lift. I was literally putting wheel back on and only about 1.5km from the house, thanked him and assured him i hsd a short journey home.... not all bad out there .