What's the etiquette here??

partyguinness

Boom_Bap wrote: »

What's the etiquette for when you take a single poop so ferocious that it flushes itself and you have a clean wipe. Do you still flush the toilet or not?

We discussed this earlier:

A Ghostie
Unicorn Turd
A Magic
A Houdini
Event Horizon

Happens to me quite a lot. I still flush. I don't want to take any chances of that turd reappearing after I have left the toilet.

Universal agreement that these are truly magical occurrences.

Boom_Bap

That's solid reasoning for the flush

Knex*

You still have to flush the clean wipe, unless you're prone to pocketing it for use as a handkerchief.

EmmetSpiceland

Knex. wrote: »

You still have to flush the clean wipe, unless you're prone to pocketing it for use as a handkerchief.

Plus you don’t want the “brown trout” to come sliding back up from the depths.

Former Observer

Lad in question used to sound like flipper the dolphin. Obviously using an oil based lubricant. Probably (hopefully) totally unrelated, but he once accidentally dropped out the contents of his bag on the way to the bog and a bunch of empty plastic receptacles fell out (almost like test tubes and miniature lunchboxes).

There are some dirty dogs out there.

partyguinness

Knex. wrote: »

You still have to flush the clean wipe, unless you're prone to pocketing it for use as a handkerchief.

If there is a Glory Hole hang it off a cock.

Former Observer

partyguinness wrote: »

If there is a Glory Hole hang it off a cock.

Or just use a peg.

partyguinness

Former Observer wrote: »

Or just use a peg.

That would work too.

Hector Savage

Nothing wrong with havin' an old Tom Hank at the work jacks, especially if it's a sealed room like the ones I'm lucky to have at my office.
I wouldn't leave any evidence, just pop in with a piece of blu tack over my phone camera, incognito mode, p0rnhub, search:
"fat old 50 year old oul ones giving blowJobs" *

Furiously violently ****

Job done, clear the evidence.

Back to work with a clear head!!!

PRODUCTIVITY RISES!!




*not really !!

Former Observer

Lads having a "tom hanks" in work as the previous poster advised is deplorable. It's not fun to witness silver snakes clinging to the flush bowl, spattered seed on the door handle or slimy clotts in the wash basin of a shared public room.

Some lads need a lesson in the difference between what you do in the private sphere and what you do in the public one.

partyguinness

Former Observer wrote: »

Lads having a "tom hanks" in work as the previous poster advised is deplorable. It's not fun to witness silver snakes clinging to the flush bowl, spattered seed on the door handle or slimy clotts in the wash basin of a shared public room.

Some lads need a lesson in the difference between what you do in the private sphere and what you do in the public one.

Oh come on...you are exaggerating. Do you work at an Adult Cinema or what?

partyguinness

partyguinness wrote: »

Yeah they are great or the Baby changing cubicle which sometimes have a toilet. You feel like you are ****ting in First Class.

I used one a few weeks ago and there was two sets of mothers waiting outside with pushchairs. I just looked straight ahead no eye contact on leaving. Brazened it out away from the dagger looks. Men's were being cleaned.

Should be no daggers looks. For all they knew you could be changing an ostomy bag like I have to, and for that you need a bathroom with basin and place to lay out things etc.

TomasMacR

Former Observer wrote: »

Lad in question used to sound like flipper the dolphin. Obviously using an oil based lubricant. Probably (hopefully) totally unrelated, but he once accidentally dropped out the contents of his bag on the way to the bog and a bunch of empty plastic receptacles fell out (almost like test tubes and miniature lunchboxes).

There are some dirty dogs out there.

I’m confused by this. Yer man had some kind of **** tool bag he used bring to the jacks?

EmmetSpiceland

TomasMacR wrote: »

I’m confused by this. Yer man had some kind of **** tool bag he used bring to the jacks?

Perhaps it was some sort of “kit”, one containing reading “material”, “essential” oils and maybe a power bar in case of over indulging.

Or maybe he had some sort of chemistry set that could give him an accurate sperm count.

Roger Hassenforder

partyguinness wrote: »

If there is a Glory Hole hang it off a cock.

Fantastic imagery

Roger Hassenforder

Is it usual etiquette to cover the residual floater sonetimes left behind after the flush, with a single sheet of paper. Usually has a high fat content turd that calved of the main turd, that resists the centrifugal/gravimetric force of the flush. Often with two pieces of sweetcorn as additional buoyancy aids.

Well if it isnt, it should.

Former Observer

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Is it usual etiquette to cover the residual floater sonetimes left behind after the flush, with a single sheet of paper. Usually has a high fat content turd that calved of the main turd, that resists the centrifugal/gravimetric force of the flush. Often with two pieces of sweetcorn as additional buoyancy aids.

Well if it isnt, it should.

You beautiful man. And yes. You are doing everything right. Alway deposit the wedding shroud.

EmmetSpiceland

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Is it usual etiquette to cover the residual floater sonetimes left behind after the flush, with a single sheet of paper. Usually has a high fat content turd that calved of the main turd, that resists the centrifugal/gravimetric force of the flush. Often with two pieces of sweetcorn as additional buoyancy aids.

Well if it isnt, it should.

If you are regularly getting one of these buoyant bastards I would be remiss if I didn’t suggest a change in diet, maybe try adding more fibre intake.

You could do this with the addition of bran to your morning porridge or possibly with some sort of supplement.

Would I be right in thinking you’d be a “gassy” fella? Bacteria in the gut likes to feast on the shítty matter within and this produces gas, once this stuff gets imbedded into the stool you could use them to keep a small child afloat in a swimming pool.

You’d want to be putting more than a simple sheet on it if you’re looking to get that up pass down under the “arch”, it’s weight you need as modern fracking techniques would have no effect on such a small scale.

JohnnyFlash

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Is it usual etiquette to cover the residual floater sonetimes left behind after the flush, with a single sheet of paper. Usually has a high fat content turd that calved of the main turd, that resists the centrifugal/gravimetric force of the flush. Often with two pieces of sweetcorn as additional buoyancy aids.

Well if it isnt, it should.

Every November I give up the gargle for the month, and try and embrace all that bollocks about 'clean eating' and 'clean living'. Cut out the takeaways, don't use one cigarette to light the next one, put some coleslaw in my ham and cheese sandwich to get half a portion of fruit and veg into my diet, etc. :rolleyes:


I was boning this bird at the time, and she was telling me about making those smoothie yokes for breakfast. So I started, and ordered this powder called Complete Greens off the internet. 28 green fruit and vegetables in it, and 7 portions of greens in one serving. I'd fúck a couple of spoons of it into the smoothie each morning. Vile stuff - horrific.


The logs though! Your body would give you the signal about 2 minutes in advance that you would be advised to move away from other humans, find a toilet or other receptacle, and prepare for something extraordinary. The head of it would be drowned to death while the end of it would still be saying goodbye to the lower parts of your digestive system.



Have a quick gawk, and you couldn't help but laugh - real Titanic sort of affair. Think more Megadeath than Celine Dion though.

Roger Hassenforder

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

If you are regularly getting one of these buoyant bastards I would be remiss if I didn’t suggest a change in diet, maybe try adding more fibre intake.

You could do this with the addition of bran to your morning porridge or possibly with some sort of supplement.

Would I be right in thinking you’d be a “gassy” fella? Bacteria in the gut likes to feast on the shítty matter within and this produces gas, once this stuff gets imbedded into the stool you could use them to keep a small child afloat in a swimming pool.

You’d want to be putting more than a simple sheet on it if you’re looking to get that up pass down under the “arch”, it’s weight you need as modern fracking techniques would have no effect on such a small scale.

Ah no, not that regular in fairness.
A day or two after a feed of Lennoxs you might see one.

I'd be more a Sloppy Giuseppe , i eat a lot of pears and peanuts. Plenty of oats too.

The sheet is pure aesthetics - no WC patron wants to be affronted with the spoor of the previous. A little blanket of dignity. They usually sink themselves after an hour or two threading water, maybe they get tired.

Former Observer

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Ah no, not that regular in fairness.
A day or two after a feed of Lennoxs you might see one.

Which lennox?

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

The sheet is pure aesthetics

Absolutely.

partyguinness

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Every November I give up the gargle for the month, and try and embrace all that bollocks about 'clean eating' and 'clean living'. Cut out the takeaways, don't use one cigarette to light the next one, put some coleslaw in my ham and cheese sandwich to get half a portion of fruit and veg into my diet, etc. :rolleyes:


I was boning this bird at the time, and she was telling me about making those smoothie yokes for breakfast. So I started, and ordered this powder called Complete Greens off the internet. 28 green fruit and vegetables in it, and 7 portions of greens in one serving. I'd fúck a couple of spoons of it into the smoothie each morning. Vile stuff - horrific.


The logs though! Your body would give you the signal about 2 minutes in advance that you would be advised to move away from other humans, find a toilet or other receptacle, and prepare for something extraordinary. The head of it would be drowned to death while the end of it would still be saying goodbye to the lower parts of your digestive system.



Have a quick gawk, and you couldn't help but laugh - real Titanic sort of affair. Think more Megadeath than Celine Dion though.

Did you drive up her Hershey Highway when she was on that stuff?

That could have been one for the ages...

partyguinness

Former Observer wrote: »

Which lennox?



Absolutely. We're not barbarians ffs.

Christ man....there is only one Jackie Lennox's

Former Observer

partyguinness wrote: »

Christ man....there is only one Jackie Lennox's

Yah I thought so too but i had taco chips and cheese the other night on mccurtain street and it was divine. Looks identical coming out to going in tho.

Roger Hassenforder

Former Observer wrote: »

Which lennox?.

Reported for trolling

partyguinness

Former Observer wrote: »

Yah I thought so too but i had taco chips and cheese the other night on mccurtain street and it was divine. Looks identical coming out to going in tho.

That brings us to a new genre- curries.

Living now in England means that Indians are the take away of choice rather than Chinese you get in Ireland.

Now not sure about anyone else but my digestive system cannot handle Indian curries so I've suffered a good few times. I love it the spicier the better but being the right hard man after a few beers there is no stopping me. Took a few years to finally cop on- now just Korma's and not after 7pm.

I would go right through me the following morning. Many a time I sat wimpering like a lost puppy on the toilet head in hands wiping the sweat from my brow and cursing the fcukers that took me out. Arse red raw and ****ting through the eye of an needle 6 times before 10am.

One night the now wife was away so I decided to have a Vindaloo...even the Indian lads in the restaurant asked me twice to double check. The wife had to be away as there was no way I could **** my brains out with her in the house.

Christ above...I flayed and thrashed my way around the kitchen in agony like I'd been shot while downing milk. Throwing myself from counter top to counter wiping away beads of sweat.

I actually do not recall the next day. I guess the body just blocks out such memories like women and childbirth.

Don't eat Vindaloo at least not sober.

Gimme A Pound

There was the ass crack outline on the ladies' toilet I was about to make use of (daintily) today. A faint shadow of poop "dust" from an amply proportioned buttocks.

JohnnyFlash

Kaden Mysterious Pointer wrote: »

There was the ass crack outline on the ladies' toilet I was about to make use of (daintily) today. A faint shadow of poop "dust" from an amply proportioned buttocks.

About is the operative word here. Did you have the luxury of finding a better ‘ticket for the theatre’?

Gimme A Pound

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

About is the operative word here. Did you have the luxury of finding a better ‘ticket for the theatre’?

Yes, luckily my workplace boasts a generous selection.

dartboardio

Get your own private cubicle if you're so bothered ye idiot.

I only ever go poo if the toilet is empty too though. Thats my own security problem, the same as you.

He wasn't in the wrong just because you're uncomfortable hearing someone else go toilet.