What's the etiquette here??

dulpit

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887444#Comment_121887444

This sounds awfully like a self confession here...

Bobson Dugnutt

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887444#Comment_121887444

I know who my chief suspect is.

Slideways

What a scurrilous and completely unfounded allegation.

As one of the pillars of this fine thread to be accused of such an act has shocked me. Shocked me to the core.

Hotblack Desiato

Well I doubt it was one of your horrified female colleagues who fed you such a detailed description. So it was either the perp or someone conducting a bomb damage assessment in enemy territory

Hotblack Desiato

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121880318#Comment_121880318

All joking aside, there has to be a minimum number of functioning bogs on board depending on passenger numbers.

I seem to recall a sabotage incident some years back where some malcontent was blocking each one up in turn with bogroll. IIRC the cabin crew were able to keep just enough pots 'on the go' to complete the flight

But it's also possible for an electrical fault to knock out all the khazis at once. Apparently the latrines are computer controlled these days but they have failed to implement the sort of redundancy that is expected in other flight systems. Not much of a problem over land but you wouldn't want to be a 'beef or salmon' and a few whiskey and cokes in in mid-ocean with the nearest airport 3 hours away only for this to occur. Apparently, kids are allowed 'do a Depardieu' under the understanding the carpet will be replaced, but what about the rest of us? A most distressing and undignified situation

Bobson Dugnutt

https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-31908620.amp

Seems to have failed here as well. Liquid fecal excrement.

Can you imagine taking a shít so horrific that it costs an airlines tens of thousands, missed connections, and huge levels of distress for cabin crew and passengers?

Deadly

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121886662#Comment_121886662

Men’s colons are shorter and straighter than wimmenses which have a lot of u bends and detours around internal geography on way to exit. The result is given the same diet and all other factors being equal, men have more predictable results, women sometimes build up in the u-bends causing more unpredictability and sudden turns of events. Then in wimmenses you have menstrual hormones, during a period the pipes usually get well cleared out and leaves feeling of great inner comfort.

Baba Yaga

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121888793#Comment_121888793

wonder was it the same lad that re-plastered the executive jax with semi-liquid multi-coloured shite and gave the poor cleaner ptsd a few weeks ago...?

Bobson Dugnutt

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121889333#Comment_121889333

Those degenerates are out there, Baba. Random acts of extreme fecoterrorism.

Lost a rather chunky bet on a horse earlier and it caused me to have a sudden urgent need for a shïte. Wasn’t going to chance the jacks in Paddy Power so headed across the street to Doheny and Nesbitt’s. Very solid facilities, wooden door, proper toilet paper, kept clean, hot water etc. You can also use them without having to head through the bar. Useful to know if any of you get caught short around Baggot Street.

Baba Yaga

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121893497#Comment_121893497

they walk amongst us thats for sure...thats solid information Bobs,must keep doheny and nesbitts in mind when im over that way,thanks.

cj maxx

I pity the poor lad on the plane . I had a recent unfortunate incident myself . I been buying sodium bicarbonate , nail brushes and throw away cloths in an attempt to clean a carpet. Luckily I have a Vax carpet cleaner too

spacetweek

There really should be laws around the minimum number of bathrooms in a residential unit. I house shared in a tiny terraced house in inner city Dublin in the 2000s and although there were three bedrooms there was only one toilet. One f**ker would always have a 30 minute long shower every morning. One unpleasant day, I had an uncontrollable urge to take a Shi'ite Muslim as soon as I woke up and ended up having to go in the back garden while cursing his long hair which required lengthy shampooing. After doing some “-pooing“ of my own I pushed it under a shrub.

I did notice him sniffing the air that evening when he went out the back for a ciggy…

Hotblack Desiato

Just remove door lock, sorted

EmmetSpiceland

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121894710#Comment_121894710

Give ‘em the old “Dutch Sauna”.

Bobson Dugnutt

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121894728#Comment_121894728

Is that like a "Malaysian Microwave"?

EmmetSpiceland

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121895108#Comment_121895108

No, B, you need steam, that’s the key. The steam off the shower blends with the fetid air of the shite in the bowl.

Works best if the person showering also has to dry off in there.

Stark

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121893973#Comment_121893973

Heh, I've had to similar, not no. 2 thankfully but similar situation with a fucker who would take a 30 minute long shower every morning just as I was getting up to work so I'd be forced to either pee in a bush outside or if it was a particular miserable morning, indoors in an empty milk bottle. To add insult to injury, he was unemployed to could easily have left it until I had used the bathroom and left for work.

Brendan Bendar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121895215#Comment_121895215

Empty milk bottle?

Thats a while ago S. But there is a downside to this practice.

Dropped a good squart of piss into an empty flagon of 'Linden Village'in an emergency.Put her in the fridge to hide the evidence .

Unfortunately forgot what I had done and later that day felt thirsty and put the flagon up on me head and took a long draught.

Still have the forking taste in my mouth when Im not in good form.

Floppybits

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121886313#Comment_121886313

Reminds me of the time I was going for Bowel screening and as much as the camera up the bung hole is bad the pretreatment clear out the day before is the absolute worst. For anyone that has had Bowel screening will now about this. So the day before the bowel screening appointment your bowels need to be cleaned out so you are given a prescription for some powder that you need to mix with water and drink. I remember the when I was in with the Chemist getting the prescription filled they told me once I had taken the potion that it would be best if you stayed very very close to the toilet.

So I booked one of the toilets in the house and lucky I did, I must have been running to the loo at least every 30 minutes for a few hours and after the first couple all that was coming out was water, you'd get the warning gurgle and you'd have to get to the loo. Horrendous was actually worse than the camera part.

You the man

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121896155#Comment_121896155

Moviprep. Satins potion. Dear gawd, the fallout (pun intended) is horrendous...

Floppybits

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121896297#Comment_121896297

That's the evil potion. No pleasure drinking it, think I was also prescribed the electrolyte drinks as well to replace what was coming out. Not a pleasant experience.

NewbridgeIR

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121896155#Comment_121896155

So “Stay close to a toilet” is the correct advice after taking that mixture.

Not “Get on a Dublin Bus” as one guy unfortunately misheard.

Bobson Dugnutt

Sounds like some of the more “bound up” posters across the politics and societal issues forums around here could do with a good dose of that moviprep.

Floppybits

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121896624#Comment_121896624

No way. After taking that potion you are house bound. The good thing is that it only lasts a few hours, I remember taking it at about 2pm and by 11pm things had settled down and was able to get a good nights sleep. No way was I leaving the house, I don't think I left the bedroom once the prep started working.

Hotblack Desiato

Nowt for breakfast either I take it... how long did it take for normal output to be resumed?

You the man

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121896852#Comment_121896852

2-3 days . It's an experience..

Slideways

I heard a tale of a lad that was getting married.

The suit had been arranged well in advance and coming up to the day he realised it was going to be too tight. In a moment of madness the day before the wedding his sister who was a nurse got him a dose of it. Reckons he was shiïtting through the eye of a needle for 7 hours, only settled down properly at 9am the morning of the wedding.

He did claim he lost a full “dress size “ in the process. Mick also reckoned he didn’t eat a single thing the day of his wedding for fear it would set him off again.

Brendan Bendar

Hope it wasn’t a hired suit.

Friend of mine owned a suit hire business and he said he got back more ‘well buttered’ suits than you could shake a stick at.

One lad came back with just the jacket, when asked where the trousers were he said ‘Fcukking best man took a shït in them and

threw them into a wheelie bin outside the hotel’

Our man said ‘These were quality trousers John, we could have got them cleaned’

The lad apparently said ‘Niagara. Falls couldn’t clean thos fcukers ,bro, lad blew everything he had into them, ,and all of it very loose.

They reached an amicable arrangement………..

Hotblack Desiato

Could be worse... kilt hire 😶

Hotblack Desiato

Your tale BB is reminiscent of the infamous 'phantom wedding shitter' thread.

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=90747832&postcount=17