What's the etiquette here??

NeinNeinNein

NeinNeinNein wrote: »

That's harsh, sounds like something from WWII.

The building dates from the 90's and was built with a lot of corners cut. There are no windows for example. Staff comfort was not a priority.

JohnnyFlash

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Paper dispensers were replaced with inferior items that only grudgingly dispense single ply tissue paper.

Jesus H. Christ. You talking about this affront to humanity?



Those things are a real sign of late stage capitalism. It will be a few years until we have the people who came up with that idea hanging from cranes, so in the interim I’d suggest you express your displeasure by top-decking any facility that uses them.


be safe pictures

JohnnyFlash

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Jesus H. Christ. You talking about this affront to humanity?



Those things are a real sign of late stage capitalism. It will be a few years until we have the people who came up with that idea hanging from cranes, so in the interim I’d suggest you express your displeasure by top-decking any facility that uses them.


be safe pictures

We actually had those ones before, now we have cheaper ones. Thin strips of single ply "paper" are dispensed. You have to be careful pulling it out or it just tears straight off the roll and you have to stick your hand in to try and fish out the edge so you can get more paper out. ****ing things are a disgrace.

Fireball81

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Dead jealous here. We had a revamp at work not too long ago that managed to downgrade the facilities. Solid doors taken out and replaced with flimsy mdf items. New doors weren't wide enough for the cubicles so they had to put two fake timber strips on each side of the cubicle to narrow the gap and hang the door off. Paper dispensers were replaced with inferior items that only grudgingly dispense single ply tissue paper. The floor tiles were taken out and replaced with a horrible looking rough finish grey lino. Horrible job all around. Good luck with your new facilities, sounds like a good place to take some company time.

I'm very happy with the facilities lads, I already waste a good amount of time in there, this could just make that amount of time even more.

As for the above, the arseholes sound like they don't want you to have a dump at work, making the facilities so ****.

Re choking the chicken, I'm very considerate when doing it and try and limit it to only 2-3 times a week in the office and always make sure the splurge ends up in the bowl, would be unsavoury allowing spillage.

Fireball81

Off topic slightly, whacked one out earlier in the safe surroundings of a fully enclosed self enclosed cubical.

Pure bliss...

Between this and pleasant dumpings dunno how I'm going to get any work done....a great Monday all round I must say.

JohnnyFlash

Fireball81 wrote: »

Off topic slightly, whacked one out earlier in the safe surroundings of a fully enclosed self enclosed cubical.

Pure bliss...

Between this and pleasant dumpings dunno how I'm going to get any work done....a great Monday all round I must say.

Would you not feel a bit emotionally spent after trying to pull the skeleton out of yourself in the disabled shïtter? Beating it like it owed you money, before throwing your eyes up towards the back of your head and releasing a load of prick paste?

Don’t know if I’d be up for an afternoon of excel formulas after that.

Brendan Bendar

You would have legs like ‘snapped candles’ after unloading that gout of ball batther, John.

Barely able to stumble back to your pod.

Even Susie with the fat arse out of ‘inquiries’ wouldn’t bring in a rise.

Bullocks

What's wrong with ye lads ?
A young healthy man should be well allowed to pull the handle off his belly at work and clear the mind of any distractions , personally I couldn't care if it was in the disabled toilet (sure they get feck all use anyhow ), portaloo or even a slow rub through the trousers and catch the load in the leg of the long johns while sitting in the van .

Bullocks

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

You would have legs like ‘snapped candles’ after unloading that gout of ball batther, John.

Barely able to stumble back to your pod.

Even Susie with the fat arse out of ‘inquiries’ wouldn’t bring in a rise.

The smell of hormones after throwing the meat around the cubicles would bring Susie and her fat arse coming with her own "inquiries " dare I say

Brendan Bendar

Bullocks wrote: »

The smell of hormones after throwing the meat around the cubicles would bring Susie and her fat arse coming with her own "inquiries " dare I say

She’d be fizzing like ‘bottled Bass’ and leave at five o clock with a good ‘glaze’ on the bacon butty

Bullocks

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

She’d be fizzing like ‘bottled Bass’ and leave at five o clock with a good ‘glaze’ on the bacon butty

A spring in her step , and maybe even turning up her top lip like a mare that was just trotted past a thoroughbred stallion .

Brendan Bendar

Bullocks wrote: »

A spring in her step , and maybe even turning up her top lip like a mare that was just trotted past a thoroughbred stallion .

Dripping like a George Foreman Grill, and getting a good batther up..

Pintman Paddy Losty

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Dripping like a George Foreman Grill, and getting a good batther up..

Go to bed Brendan before you give yourself a stroke you old codger.

EmmetSpiceland

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Go to bed Brendan before you give yourself a stroke you old codger.

I’d say he’s given it a few of “those” already, P. Has the tissues out too, no doubt.

Slideways

More of a business sock from Dunnes merchant. Turn it inside out and break it over the headboard before wearing it again the next morning. Filthy old man

shadydestroyer

I always thought toilet brushes were for cleaning ****e off the side of the rim and for unclogging toilets.

Anyway last week in Work I took a bit of a messy dump and my arse hair was due a good trim so used quite a bit of toilet paper to try and wipe clean.

Sure the jacks was a mess after me and I tried to flush and the jacks was clogged with water coming up near the brim. I got the toilet brush anyway and started trying to unclog it and wiping marks off the bowl.

Well I didn't think it through because most of the ****ty toilet paper was on the brush and tried my best to get it off but couldn't. Every bristle was clogged with ****ty toilet paper so I left it back in its stand.

Notices were up in the jacks today to "Please respect the facilities as we have received numerous complaints about the condition of the gents toilets".

Oh well, A lesson learned about toilet brushes.

Fireball81

Bullocks wrote: »

What's wrong with ye lads ?
A young healthy man should be well allowed to pull the handle off his belly at work and clear the mind of any distractions , personally I couldn't care if it was in the disabled toilet (sure they get feck all use anyhow ), portaloo or even a slow rub through the trousers and catch the load in the leg of the long johns while sitting in the van .

My thoughts exactly, if it was an Olympic sport I'd be a gold medalist and the office is a perfectly acceptable place to do it - whilst getting paid!

Bullocks

Fireball81 wrote: »

My thoughts exactly, if it was an Olympic sport I'd be a gold medalist and the office is a perfectly acceptable place to do it - whilst getting paid!

Belt away Fireball and don't let these lads stifle your artistic "doodling" but maybe keep it to the wc as opposed to the office. Other office users probably won't put up with it haha

tjdaly

Workplace masturbators make me sick. We have one in our office. Young chubby fellah who always exits the jacks with rosy cheeks and red trembling fat fingers. He's been caught at it before, and you'd often see jism floating in the bowl later in the day. Like clockwork when he's finished his **** he starts chomping into a turkey roll. Vile.

tjdaly

tjdaly wrote: »

Workplace masturbators make me sick. We have one in our office. Young chubby fellah who always exits the jacks with rosy cheeks and red trembling fat fingers. He's been caught at it before, and you'd often see jism floating in the bowl later in the day. Like clockwork when he's finished his **** he starts chomping into a turkey roll. Vile.

Will the real 'tgdaly' please stand up.

tjdaly

I'd say you're the type that tells the lads in the office you're off to check something in Argos Bertie, but what you're really doing is lubing your appendage up with saliva in the disabled toilet during teabreaks.

armaghlad

These reptiles that pull the front bar off themselves on company time, they’re always the office scivvy, or fatso, probably beating off to the thought of the young one in accounts pleasuring one of the directors. Keep your hands off your choade in the workplace and save this behaviour for home you cretins.

Brendan Bendar

tjdaly wrote: »

Workplace masturbators make me sick. We have one in our office. Young chubby fellah who always exits the jacks with rosy cheeks and red trembling fat fingers. He's been caught at it before, and you'd often see jism floating in the bowl later in the day. Like clockwork when he's finished his **** he starts chomping into a turkey roll. Vile.

Filthy kernt.

gerrybbadd

Fireball81 wrote: »

My thoughts exactly, if it was an Olympic sport I'd be a gold medalist and the office is a perfectly acceptable place to do it - whilst getting paid!

It really, really isn't. In fact, it's most likely the most unacceptable place to do it.

While you're in shooting "ropes" into the bowl, and leaving the place smelling like a strange combination of Domestos and the sea, some poor cleaner has to come in, and chip away at your "deposit".

I'll bet you don't even wash your hands after shaking hands with the devil

Fireball81

gerrybbadd wrote: »

It really, really isn't. In fact, it's most likely the most unacceptable place to do it.

While you're in shooting "ropes" into the bowl, and leaving the place smelling like a strange combination of Domestos and the sea, some poor cleaner has to come in, and chip away at your "deposit".

I'll bet you don't even wash your hands after shaking hands with the devil

Of course I do - would be vile not too.

I stand by my original comment, perfectly normal to tug at work. While I'm not as fit as in my younger days i can still play 80 minutes with the best of them. Plenty in the wankbank and there needs to be in our place as the recruitment policy is pretty poor on the beauty department.

Now back I on topic, day 2 of the sulubrious surrounds of new facilities at work- a dump of liquid ****e earlier, yellow again on the paper - wondering what I ate.

Hotblack Desiato

Fireball81 wrote: »

There's now also a shelf for a phone or something else small when two hands are required.

Jaysus. There is no fecking way I'm placing any possession of mine on a shelf inside a jacks cubicle.

tjdaly wrote: »

Workplace masturbators make me sick. We have one in our office. Young chubby fellah who always exits the jacks with rosy cheeks and red trembling fat fingers. He's been caught at it before, and you'd often see jism floating in the bowl later in the day. Like clockwork when he's finished his **** he starts chomping into a turkey roll. Vile.

Only thing worse are those cnuts who impersonate other people on internet fora

gerrybbadd wrote: »

I'll bet you don't even wash your hands after shaking hands with the devil

Depends on whether his lad has been anywhere durty lately

tjdaly

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Only thing worse are those cnuts who impersonate other people on internet fora

Don't be so precious, bro. We live in a postmodern world.

mfceiling

Just to drag this thread back on topic I had "words" with the design crew on the fit out we are currently on.

High end office fitout and we are installing new ceilings, decorative bulkheads and glass partitions.

Went into the jacks this afternoon to see how progress was coming on and to make sure there had been no damage to our recently installed ceiling.
Needn't have had any fears on that count. The top of the cubicle finished 15...yes 15 inches down from the ceiling.

Had to pull the architect and the lad who seems to run the interior design end (skinny jeans, no socks and safety runners...you know the sort) and question that decision.

"That's a fairly large gap up top horse...never mind hearing the lad next door emptying the bowels, you can smell it and taste it. Sure if you dropped it another couple of inches you could watch him as he tips the cart"

Architect agreed that the gap is fairly large but skinny Pete was having none of it. I asked him how comfortable he'd be if he was suffering a touch of gut rot, and all he was pushing out was fizzy water for his next door neighbours to hear and smell the lot.
Little kernt said he was more concerned with the aesthetic quality of the finish. I quickly countered with "no concern with the acoustic quality seeing as you'll be fit to hear every note from your neighbours arse through that gap"

Stalemate.

mfceiling

mfceiling wrote: »

Just to drag this thread back on topic I had "words" with the design crew on the fit out we are currently on.

High end office fitout and we are installing new ceilings, decorative bulkheads and glass partitions.

Went into the jacks this afternoon to see how progress was coming on and to make sure there had been no damage to our recently installed ceiling.
Needn't have had any fears on that count. The top of the cubicle finished 15...yes 15 inches down from the ceiling.

Had to pull the architect and the lad who seems to run the interior design end (skinny jeans, no socks and safety runners...you know the sort) and question that decision.

"That's a fairly large gap up top horse...never mind hearing the lad next door emptying the bowels, you can smell it and taste it. Sure if you dropped it another couple of inches you could watch him as he tips the cart"

Architect agreed that the gap is fairly large but skinny Pete was having none of it. I asked him how comfortable he'd be if he was suffering a touch of gut rot, and all he was pushing out was fizzy water for his next door neighbours to hear and smell the lot.
Little kernt said he was more concerned with the aesthetic quality of the finish. I quickly countered with "no concern with the acoustic quality seeing as you'll be fit to hear every note from your neighbours arse through that gap"

Stalemate.

Aesthetic quality? Surely the bog is the one place where function should take precedence over form!

Fireball81

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Depends on whether his lad has been anywhere durty lately

Always give it an extra scrub in the morning when there's been a bit of anal action with herself. I'm a clean fella after all.

Dose of the runs tonight at home, more yellow on the paper - will be tucked up in bed shortly after a final dump to make sure there's no accidents overnight.