Would you consider suicide selfish?

Schwanz

Wouldn't want to be in that zone prior to doing it that's for sure.

Is it selfish? Not sure it's the right word but the chances of children say finding you first to me is a potential act of evil.

uck51js9zml2yt

What sense of hopelessness has someone got that they believe the only answer is to kill themselves.
It's tragic on every front.

It's time for people to be ok with saying "I'm not ok", when asked how they are. Sad thing is that the people who ask the question don't really care enough to listen to the answer

donkeykong5

SoundsRight wrote: »

Yes, It's selfish. The fawning tributes on social media anytime someone commits this crime is nauseating. It should be held in the same regard as murder or rape.

I am completely astounded at this remark. Hopefully I have read it wrongly.

My understanding is that those who do end their own lives often have themselves absolutely convinced that their loved ones and the world is better off without them.

They don't do it to spite anyone else or cause them pain.

Yer Da sells Avon

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

And yet here you are, asking an insensitive and over-simplified question about it.

A very ill person might misguidedly and irrationally - but utterly sincerely - believe that their death would be the best all-round outcome for everyone. I came very close to killing myself last year, and that's how I felt. If anything, I felt that not having done it years ago was selfish and... cowardly... that I had been chickening out of something that had seemed, for a very long time, like an inevitability. I'm all good now, and if I had taken my own life back then, it would have been (and I say this with the benefit of hindsight and much better mental health) a mistake, to put it mildly. Not a selfish mistake though.

I'm very glad you're still with us, and I'm very very glad you're doing better.

One eyed Jack

donkeykong5 wrote: »

I am completely astounded at this remark. Hopefully I have read it wrongly.

It’s a common enough attitude in my experience, but what can you do only acknowledge that some people feel that way and their minds are not for changing, nor in my experience at least is it worth trying to change their minds - far more mentally exhausting than it’s worth when one considers that ironically, it’s only on social media one has the freedom to express an attitude like that without fear of condemnation or repercussions.

Widdershins

No. I don't see it as selfish . Sometimes other peoples selfishness might be part of the reason in certain extreme cases.
I struggle to not see it as selfish to do it in a way that would traumatise anyone who witnessed it or found you afterwards (as a child , I found an attempted suicide) but I suppose people aren't exactly thinking straight . And that is the reason I don't see it as selfish in the first place . Also not everyone would have people who would miss them. Unfortunately there are people who are very cut off from society .

I'm not even sure it's wise to discuss this subject

blindboy.

I always used to think it was, but it's hard to think with other peoples mindset. Although people should know it doesn't end their pain it only passes it on to someone else.

OU812

Far from selfish.

But it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I'm very close to someone who was suicidal several years ago, Was in financial trouble, had been promised a promotion in work that would have helped & then fell through, and various other non related factors.

He thought it out in depth. Planned the date (24th March), planned the means (worked in a very high building & discovered a way to make it seem accidental), and was all set to go through with it when his wife brought him to the doctor for his headaches, she'd already tipped the doctor off & a good chat was had. He was lucky that she was so in tune with him, they've now got two more kids & are in a good place financially. Every year since, he wakes up on 24th March & celebrates his extra year.

His reasoning was that the date was picked because it was a week after paddy & the next big family event wasn't for six months & by accidentally dying, his mortgage insurance & life insurance as well as the work death in benefit would kick in. This would ensure that his family would be well taken care of. His wife was young enough that she could reasonably start again with someone new down the line.

I thought that was pretty selfless of him. He figured to help them all, he'd kill himself & although they'd find it difficult, they could rebuild their lives because they would be financially secure & young enough.

Do talk about it. Don't do it.

__________



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RobertKK

People who commit suicide are not well.

It is easy to judge people when one has a healthy mind, but the person committing suicide doesn't have the luxury of a healthy mind, they are not thinking rationally about all the people who love them.

It is just sad, and it is just terrible their mind reached a point where they believe it is the only solution to whatever led them into this bottomless pit of despair.

I had a neighbour tell me about his cousin, the cousin went to the hospital saying they needed mental help as they were in a bad way. The hospital which I won't name, sent him home, he ended up dead.
Some people know they need help, the thing is if someone needs help, they need help and should be given the treatment needed, it is a health issue.

Of course for some it just happens out of the blue, maybe the person suffering in silence and then seemingly out of the blue they end it.
It is just tragic, it is not selfish, they didn't choose to have mental health problems and it shouldn't be stigmatised, it should be treated as another health issue which any of us could be affected by.

Church on Tuesday

I lost a cousin to suicide seven years ago.

He was a good man.

So no, I don't consider it selfish just heartbreaking.

Alrigghtythen

It's tragic but at the end of the day it's their body, their choice.

No it’s not selfish said person are in so much pain they saw no way out

Ursus Horribilis

It isn't but it worries me that it can run in families or in some areas. That for some people, it becomes an "option". Why?

Widdershins

Not always temporary problems . Some people need to escape permanent ones .

Guffy

Man across the road committed suicide last year. He did so in the house. Left his wife and 3 daughters to figure it out. Nothing selfish about that at all :rolleyes:

SoundsRight

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

It's not a crime, but if it was, what sort of punishment would you advocate?

It is murder of the self. Obviously they can't face any further punishment, but it should go back to being a taboo subject.

Gorgeousgeorge

Na boll#cks to that. Cant judge the person. God only knows whats going on inside to make someone go that far. Just really really sad imo.

rob316

No. It's your life you can take it if you want.

shamrock55

Tbh I would, but maybe that's because I don't know enough about it

Purple Mountain

I don't think that it is selfish. If someone is in so much physical or emotional pain that they feel they can't live anymore, then ultimately it should be their decision as to when they die.
I will say however I think it's unfair when someone who does die in this way, does not leave a letter for their loved ones outlining what's going on in their life that brought them to that point.
It must be torture for family who get no answers and in some cases are not even sure if the death was deliberate or not.

Tell me how

Ordinarily, I would never think of someone as being selfish when I hear that they committed suicide. But, if someone was found guilty of a heinous crime and sentenced to life in prison and they took their own life rather than serve it, could that not be said to have been a selfish act?

Anyone who does so after suffering in a place of despair, depression, I do not think of them being in any way selfish.

I expect that the vast amount of those who do so belong to the latter group rather than the former and so I completely disagree that it should be considered a taboo subject or not discussed.

It is still the case that some do so because they do not know that they can get better and this may be partly because they think no one else has suffered as they have. Talking will help reduce the likelihood of this happening.

it depends on the context of the act

and it depends on whether one insists on looking at it from only the point of view of the person, or whether you can advocate for others

it can of course be a selfish act

Edgarfrndly

No and anyone who considers it selfish, is ignorant. Suicide is the last resorts of someone who has been in pain for a long time. People don't commit suicide out of selfishness. They do it because life has become too much.

It really angers me to see people still in this day and age see suicide as a selfish act. Someone who struggles with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or any other mental health problem are not viewing life through the same lens as someone without mental health disorders. They are dealing with a persistent, long-term illness which cannot be fixed.

It's like those stupid phrases like "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". Depression is not a temporary problem. It's a permanent, relentless problem that is with you for life.

Rubberchikken

no mot selfish. people who are in such a dark place honestly think that their family and the world will be actually better off without them.
its very skewed thinking brought on by being mentally unwell.

Necro

I do find the act selfish tbh. I don't see how it can be construed as anything else tbh.

The caveat is that as others have said, people who are suicidal in most cases don't tend to be thinking very rationally about these things.

So yes, it's incredibly selfish. But no, I wouldn't judge anyone who did so as being selfish. Just (in most cases), tragically mentally ill.

castletownman

Ordinarily I find it absolutely heartbreaking. Lost a close family member to it coming up to a year ago, and lost a friend almost ten years ago. Its definitely the most shocking news anyone can get. I can only emphatise with the person who sees no other way out.

However, there was a sad conclusion to a month-long search for a man locally yesterday, and I am erring on the side of selfishness. Judging by the hope his partner conveyed on social media everyday throughout the search, and her consistent pleas that he returns home, he clearly didn't leave any note. And his partner is pregnant too, so is left with that burden to carry as well as all the questions, grief, etc.

God bless him all the same. Its a terrible scourge in this country.

Mam of 4

It's a very emotive topic for everyone I think .
Our minds can be our worst enemy at times .

Imagine not being able to escape the relentless dark thoughts in your head ?
No escape from them , day after day ?
Thinking that the only way to escape the pain is by taking your own life ..

Mental anguish and torture , must be unbearable

So no , I don't think it's selfish tbh .

Stay safe all .

givyjoe

Necro wrote: »

I do find the act selfish tbh. I don't see how it can be construed as anything else tbh.

The caveat is that as others have said, people who are suicidal in most cases don't tend to be thinking very rationally about these things.

So yes, it's incredibly selfish. But no, I wouldn't judge anyone who did so as being selfish. Just (in most cases), tragically mentally ill.

That post is one big contradiction after another.

Necro

givyjoe wrote: »

That post is one big contradiction after another.

Based on?

The act of committing suicide is selfish, but the person committing it is not necessarily actually selfish themselves, due to the fact they may be mentally ill.

It can be both things at the same time, that's why the issue is a difficult topic.