Male Masseuse

naughtysmurf

John Sacrimoni wrote: »

FFS, have you ever spoke to a man in your life?

Yeah, everyday & I'm male too, some posters on here must have awful trouble controlling themselves.

Have had loads of massages over the years but only in reputable places, don't find them erotic, never once got turned on, why, because that's not what I'm there for, I'm there for the relaxation, stress relief, wellness etc aspect of it all, if the Mrs & I are having massage night in, then that's a different situation

Just checked with the Mrs, she has never had her breasts massaged while on her back, on her front, the side of her breasts would come in contact with the therapists hands, she'd consider that ok during a full body massage

All of the places we've visited over the years use the draping technique where everything is covered except the part been massaged at the time, in my experience, I doubt many therapists would notice if a male got an erection as they all tend to put plenty of towel cover in that area I assume because they are not interested in seeing it but I'm sure there probably are other massage type places that have lower operating standards for a different clientele

If I was male or female in a reputable spa & I was 100% certain a male therepist had an erection during a treatment with me, I'd report it, I'm also pretty sure that they would be managing him out the door pretty quickly

pwurple

Twenty Grand wrote: »

There seems to be a lot of women here who believe that erections are totally controllable and men can make them go up and down at will

Pretty sure hips are controllable and they can move back the half inch required to not rub erection against the client.

:rolleyes:

Twenty Grand

pwurple wrote: »

Pretty sure hips are controllable and they can move back the half inch required to not rub erection against the client.

:rolleyes:

Maybe the guy didn't notice? Maybe hes a creep?
I'm not defending him, I'm confused over some of the comments here where people show a total ignorance to male biology.

pwurple

You see, now, the discussion is skirting close to being an example of rape culture. Social attitudes that normalise or trivialise sexual assault.

The impression given is that men can’t help themselves around women. No matter what the situation, must rub cock off it. Erections rubbing against people (wait, still women only so far) are completely uncontrollable.


We all know that’s not the case. But this banter crap normalises it.

John Sacrimoni

pwurple wrote: »

You see, now, the discussion is skirting close to being an example of rape culture. Social attitudes that normalise or trivialise sexual assault.

The impression given is that men can’t help themselves around women. No matter what the situation, must rub cock off it. Erections rubbing against people (wait, still women only so far) are completely uncontrollable.


We all know that’s not the case. But this banter crap normalises it.

You are expecting men to not get an erection when massaging a womans naked body, do you even know what you are saying?

No one here is defending the guy touching off the woman with his erection.

ted1

pwurple wrote: »

Pretty sure hips are controllable and they can move back the half inch required to not rub erection against the client.

:rolleyes:

Are you saying no female masseuse has ever rubbed her hip accidentally off a customer ?

It’s like banging a toe off a piece of furniture, not intentional but it happens

ted1

pwurple wrote: »

You see, now, the discussion is skirting close to being an example of rape culture. Social attitudes that normalise or trivialise sexual assault.

The impression given is that men can’t help themselves around women. No matter what the situation, must rub cock off it. Erections rubbing against people (wait, still women only so far) are completely uncontrollable.


We all know that’s not the case. But this banter crap normalises it.

You are the only one who ever said that they can’t rub of men. You actually suggested violence if it was to rub off a man.

I don’t see any sexual assault here. A masseuse got a involuntary erection. ( it happens) and it accidentally brushed off a client. Maybe he thought he could hide it. Maybe he felt uncomfortable with saying “ excuse me I need to take a break , because I have an etection and I’ll be back shortly “

pwurple

John Sacrimoni wrote: »

No one here is defending the guy touching off the woman with his erection.

That would be slightly more convincing if the following two posts after yours weren’t doing exactly that...

And ‘touching off’ is trivialising again. She wouldn’t have noticed that.

Fann Linn

Just shows how quick some are when crying 'sexual assault'.

pwurple

Fann Linn wrote: »

Just shows how quick some are when crying 'sexual assault'.

Absolutely!

Dangerous world out there lads if you like to rub your genitalia against your customers. Best practice is to avoid it I’d say.

Fann Linn

pwurple wrote: »

Absolutely!

Dangerous world out there lads if you like to rub your genitalia against your customers. Best practice is to avoid it I’d say.

Don't think so. It's actually getting to the stage now that when 'wolf' is being called out, more and more are beginning to question it. Sexual assault and rape is being trivialised by the twitter mouthpieces.

I'm going myself for a haircut this morning. I just hope I'm not sexually assaulted by the hairdresser reaching across me.

pwurple

So, you’re saying your hairdresser normally rubs his erect penis off you while he is cutting your hair?

And this is totally normal.

Fann Linn

pwurple wrote: »

So, you’re saying your hairdresser normally rubs his erect penis off you while he is cutting your hair?

And this is totally normal.

No. She's a nice Polish woman.

KevinCavan

Ah come on please, getting a man to massage your baps and expecting him not to get an erection? Why didn’t you get a female to massage you, is this the kind of thing you wanted to happen?

harr

It sounds totally unprofessional on his part , I have a few male friends who have done massage courses in college as part of sports degrees and I have a few female friends who do it in a hotel spa setting. Was discussing this topic last night on a night out with them and others. The general consensus was that touching of breasts during any massage is pointless and that most agreed this certain individual was simply doing it for sexual gratification.

seamus

pwurple wrote: »

How so? It’s a real court case. Where men put their dicks has criminal results when unwanted, at all sorts of levels.

Suggested action of not rubbing penis against customers or strangers is mad altogether is it?

You're comparing a court case where some dirtbird sexually assaulted a woman in public with his exposed penis, against the incidental case described in the OP where a man's (clothed) groin area came into contact with her during a massage.

It's ridiculous. Getting an erection is perfectly normal. Close-contact services like massage result in unavoidable scenarios where parts of the body of each may come into contact (the masseur is clothed, of course).

It would be different if he was grinding up against the client or something. But that's not what happened here.

What do YOU think he should have done? And "not allowed his penis to touch her" is not an answer, unless you think he should have excused himself and left.

sullivlo

Mod Note

The standard of posting has to increase, otherwise the thread will be closed or infractions will be handed out. Some posts are bordering on personal abuse.

Final warning.

ted1

pwurple wrote: »

So, you’re saying your hairdresser normally rubs his erect penis off you while he is cutting your hair?

And this is totally normal.

Go back to the op and you’ll find that he doesn’t normally accidentally brush his penis off her. It was s one off

harr

Reading the first post it’s clear he rubbed himself against her on a few occasions during that massage ... once or even twice you might consider an accident but for it to happen a number of times seems deliberately done.

Of all the sports rub downs I have gotten and massages in spas both from men and women I can honestly only think of maybe a couple of times where you might feel a breast rub against you but never has a Male masseuse gotten so close he accidentally rubbed his cock off me...
I can believe people think what happened was ok...of course he might not of been able to control it but he should have been professional and excused himself and gotten another person to take over...

seamus

harr wrote: »

I can believe people think what happened was ok...of course he might not of been able to control it but he should have been professional and excused himself and gotten another person to take over...

This is unreasonable though.

It would mean that male masseurs would frequently have to avoid massaging women completely. "Professional" would be more like ensuring that you're not wearing loose clothing (like tracksuit bottoms or shorts), excusing yourself if you need to "adjust" and avoiding bringing attention to it. But not walking out in the middle of a massage because you've got an erection.

This is more about the squeamishness of the client than anything else. It's one of the few burdens that men have to carry; highly visible external signs of arousal; and you're saying that they should be obliged to hide themselves away because it might make someone uncomfortable?

Surely we can all be adults and accept that these things happen?

harr

seamus wrote: »

This is unreasonable though.

It would mean that male masseurs would frequently have to avoid massaging women completely. "Professional" would be more like ensuring that you're not wearing loose clothing (like tracksuit bottoms or shorts), excusing yourself if you need to "adjust" and avoiding bringing attention to it. But not walking out in the middle of a massage because you've got an erection.

This is more about the squeamishness of the client than anything else. It's one of the few burdens that men have to carry; highly visible external signs of arousal; and you're saying that they should be obliged to hide themselves away because it might make someone uncomfortable?

Surely we can all be adults and accept that these things happen?

Why should she have to accept someone else getting sexual pleasure from touching her body ?
She felt uncomfortable and should have said something.
You would really have to question why he needed to touch her breasts at all.

seamus

harr wrote: »

Why should she have to accept someone else getting sexual pleasure from touching her body ?

That's a leap to make. There's nothing in the OP to suggest that he was "getting sexual pleasure", certainly not intentionally or maliciously.

She felt uncomfortable and should have said something.
You would really have to question why he needed to touch her breasts at all.

Perhaps. It's a separate question though. I'm not a masseur so I don't know if this is a "known" massage area.

There's a level of trust required here; I've gotten massages where it felt like my shoulder was going to pop out of the socket. Should I have said something? No, I trusted that the masseuse knew what she was doing.

Likewise here, the OP has trusted that the masseur knows what he's doing, therefore should she say something? Well no, he asked if she wanted a massage in that area and she said "yes".

So what is there for her to say? "How dare you get an erection in my presence! Despite the fact that you have no control over it you should be ashamed of yourself!"

pwurple

seamus wrote: »

This is unreasonable though.

It would mean that male masseurs would frequently have to avoid massaging women completely. "Professional" would be more like ensuring that you're not wearing loose clothing (like tracksuit bottoms or shorts), excusing yourself if you need to "adjust" and avoiding bringing attention to it. But not walking out in the middle of a massage because you've got an erection.

This is more about the squeamishness of the client than anything else. It's one of the few burdens that men have to carry; highly visible external signs of arousal; and you're saying that they should be obliged to hide themselves away because it might make someone uncomfortable?

Surely we can all be adults and accept that these things happen?

Erections happen, no bother whatsoever.

Rubbing it against other people... now you're crossing the line.

No one's suggesting he hides it in some abnormal way (other than keeping his pants firmly on obviously). Just don't rub your erect cock off your customers... and if you can't manage that, step away.


Seriously, how exactly is that unreasonable?

seamus

pwurple wrote: »

Erections happen, no bother whatsoever.

Rubbing it against other people... now you're crossing the line.

No one's suggesting he hides it in some abnormal way (other than keeping his pants firmly on obviously). Just don't rub your erect cock off your customers... and if you can't manage that, step away.


Seriously, how exactly is that unreasonable?

Go read the OP again. There's no suggestion that he was "rubbing his erect cock" off her. Rather,

"I could feel his erection anytime he moved against me".

A masseur/se cannot maintain a distance where only the required body parts touch the customer. The customer is lying down, many of the therapies require bodyweight behind them, or at the very least reaching.

It is unavoidable therefore that the therapist's lower body (i.e. anything below the chest) will sometimes come into contact with the customer's in the course of a massage. It would be impossible to do a massage otherwise.

If the masseur happens to have an erection, then that may be tangible to the customer, but it doesn't mean he's rubbing his penis against the customer for the sake of personal gratification. That's the leap you've made.

More likely at that moment he wants to die because he's worrying if the customer can feel it while trying to maintain professional composure.

Suggesting that he "step away" is therefore unreasonable. Like I say, if this was the "standard practice", it would for all intents and purposes make it impossible for men to become masseurs, because they would have to "step away" for a large portion of their sessions, even with male customers on the table.

If such a possibility makes you uncomfortable, then any massage place will allow you to state that you want a female masseuse in favour of a male. There is no, "I want a male who cannot get an erection" option.

pwurple

Heh. I like the way you snipped the OP, removing this part of what she wrote. "It was extremely uncomfortable! I did not know what to do. "


Seamus, in your life, have you experienced this? I haven't, and I don't think I know anyone else who has. I've had plenty of massages. I don't know what kind of massages you are getting, but there is no requirement at any point to rub your crotch off the client, either erect, or flaccid.

I've asked every contributor here defending this have they ever encountered this. I see zero responses saying either they do this to customers, or that they have experienced it themselves. Which further defends my position from my own experience, it simply isn't the norm.


The OP is perfectly correct in her instincts that it is a bit off.

seamus

pwurple wrote: »

Heh. I like the way you snipped the OP, removing this part of what she wrote. "It was extremely uncomfortable! I did not know what to do. "

That's not relevant though. The fact that she's uncomfortable doesn't mean it was intentional on his part. He's not a mind reader, he doesn't know that she can feel it or that she's uncomfortable.

Seamus, in your life, have you experienced this?

I have had many, many, many unwanted and uncontrolled erections in my life.

I have not had a massage from a male, but I have from a female, and I can say with absolute certainty that their lower body came into contact with me in the course of that massage.
So I can quite reasonably put the two together and imagine that this is a frequent issue for male masseurs, such that "excuse yourself and step out" is impractical, and taking practical measures to limit the obviousness of it are more reasonable.

The OP is perfectly correct in her instincts that it is a bit off.

She may very well be, and I have previously advised that she should talk to another masseuse for advice/clarity.

I'm discussing here the implication that you are making, which is that he assaulted her sexually. When there is nothing in the OP to suggest he did. Your continued use of the word "rubbing", is you throwing a spin into the story, which doesn't exist at all.

meeeeh

I think it's perfectly normal for op to feel uncomfortable. She didn't consider her massage sexual and the person doing the massage did. Personally I would go to someone else next time that doesn't make you uncomfortable.

Those (men) who think it's completely normal would you feel comfortable if man massaging you would brush against you with his errect penis every so often?

seamus

meeeeh wrote: »

I think it's perfectly normal for op to feel uncomfortable.

Absolutely.

She didn't consider her massage sexual and the person doing the massage did.

Even that's unfair. Just because he has an erection doesn't mean that he thinks the massage is "sexual", or that there is in any way a non-professional tone to it.

Those (men) who think it's completely normal would you feel comfortable if man massaging you would brush against you with his errect penis every so often?

Genuinely, if I was aware that's what it was (I'm naive, I'd probably assume it was a phone or something!), but I was also satisfied that he wasn't deliberately rubbing it against me, then I wouldn't care.

ted1

meeeeh wrote: »

I think it's perfectly normal for op to feel uncomfortable. She didn't consider her massage sexual and the person doing the massage did.

Really? You are jumping to a conclusion there.
Random unwanted erections happen. I don’t find driving into two sexual but I do get an etection the odd time while doing it

ted1

meeeeh wrote: »

Those (men) who think it's completely normal would you feel comfortable if man massaging you would brush against you with his errect penis every so often?

It’d be awkward but I’d just ignore yet. Years of playing second row in rugby and water polo make you not really care about genital rubbing against you