Tinder weight filter

givyjoe

Dalomanakora wrote: »

Absolutely. Men and women have preferences.


It's just sad that people on boards seem to hone in on women who are overweight - there's fcuk all said about overweight men, whereas according to many posters on boards, you're a lazy, fat, unmotivated slob if you're 10lbs overweight.



If posters on boards who hate fat women saw me out and about, they'd think the same of me. She's fat, she's lazy, she's a slob. Little would they know by looking at me that I've worked my arse off over the last year to lose 4.5 stone, despite being literally bedbound from serious illness for a chunk of time.


They'd just make nasty, unkind assumptions as to who I am just because I'm not at THEIR ideal size YET.


The vitriol towards women who are overweight is fcuking vile.

That's more than a little OTT and not at all representative of this thread, there's no vitriol.

I may have missed it, but I didn't see anyone calling saying someone who is fat, is lazy and/or a slob.

Dalomanakora wrote: »

Please, show me all of the threads on boards where men are crucified for their penis size, hairline etc.

Once you've found them, compare them to the sheer number of threads about women's weight.



You've consistently projected your on insecurities on people in this thread and I really think you should talk to someone. It's not normal or healthy to hate yourself so much and you deserve happiness.

Pot, kettle, black there to be fair.

Dalomanakora

givyjoe wrote: »

That's more than a little OTT and not at all representative of this thread, there's no vitriol.

I may have missed it, but I didn't see anyone calling saying someone who is fat, is lazy and/or a slob.

Have a look through the numerous AH threads on women's weight then get back to me

givyjoe

Dalomanakora wrote: »

Have a look through the numerous AH threads on women's weight then get back to me

Read my post and get back to me. I'm referencing this thread, the one you're posting on.

Feel free to to share a link to a thread containing the vitriol you speak of.

Feisar

Have Tinder installed a weight filter yet?

givyjoe

Feisar wrote: »

Have Tinder installed a weight filter yet?

Try POF, they have one, sort of!

Feisar

givyjoe wrote: »

Try POF, they have one, sort of!

Oh I'm out of the game fortunately.

I used to use POF back in the day and got some slagging from my mates, they're all on Tinder now, well the single ones are.

Floppybits

Filters don't work because folks are going to lie to get round them, simples.

I could never understand why people restrict themselves to certain types, like some guys only like skinny blondes and wouldn't even consider a skinny dark haired woman or god forbid a skinny ginger:) or women who only want blokes who are over 6ft with blue eyes or some other such feature. Just think of all the different types of people you are missing out on, could never understand it.

Feisar

Floppybits wrote: »

Filters don't work because folks are going to lie to get round them, simples.

I could never understand why people restrict themselves to certain types, like some guys only like skinny blondes and wouldn't even consider a skinny dark haired woman or god forbid a skinny ginger:) or women who only want blokes who are over 6ft with blue eyes or some other such feature. Just think of all the different types of people you are missing out on, could never understand it.

I for one was always an equal opportunities employer!

Unfortunately this earned me the title man whore.

Reading this thread I'm so glad I did all that dating stuff back in the day ( sixties actually!!)

Recently looking through old photos I found ones of my secondary school days and graduation. It struck me how the really gorgeous girls were few and far between. Most of us (me included) were pretty plain! Some a bit everweight, some with crooked teeth (pre- braces days), some with weird haircuts, our clothes were pretty unflattering too. I had the cheapest glasses my mother could get.

The lads in the graduation ones were much the same. Hunks were scarce, a lot of the lads were either wimpy or overweight or spotty.

But the vast majority of us found matches, - and most of us are together still.

I'm aware I could get a lot of slagging here...........

One eyed Jack

Floppybits wrote: »

Filters don't work because folks are going to lie to get round them, simples.

I could never understand why people restrict themselves to certain types, like some guys only like skinny blondes and wouldn't even consider a skinny dark haired woman or god forbid a skinny ginger:) or women who only want blokes who are over 6ft with blue eyes or some other such feature. Just think of all the different types of people you are missing out on, could never understand it.

If they wouldn’t want to be with those people, then they’re not missing out on anything. Your argument kinda reminds me of the ‘argument’ that some straight guys will make to lesbian women - “Just think what you’re missing out on”.

Actually probably a better example would be to use my own preferences as an example. I prefer as I mentioned already fat girls, or at my age it’s perhaps more appropriate to refer to fat women. That, from my perspective anyway cuts out a lot of women. I’m not suggesting that slimmer women aren’t attractive, of course they are, but they just don’t interest me, or rather I’m just not interested in them. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything, and they’re certainly not missing out on anything :pac:

But my point is simply that trying to manufacture interest in something I’m not interested in would be difficult first of all (not impossible, but difficult to sustain any kind of facade like that), pointless second of all, and thirdly it would just be unfair on the other person to be wasting their time trying to build a foundation for a relationship on nothing. The best either of us could hope for in those circumstances would be a great friendship.

DivingDuck

Floppybits wrote: »

Just think of all the different types of people you are missing out on, could never understand it.

If you don't find someone sexually attractive, you're not missing out on anything except making someone else feel ugly through your undisguisable lack of passion, and making yourself feel like a disappointed idiot. Where is the value in that for anyone?

Remember: we're not talking about being open to being friends with someone with different values, or being open to marrying someone whose culture is different to your own. We're talking about having sex with someone you don't fancy.

Why would anyone— assuming they were even technically able. that is, which in a lot of cases would be a literal issue, too.

ginandtonicsky

Floppybits wrote: »

Filters don't work because folks are going to lie to get round them, simples.

I could never understand why people restrict themselves to certain types, like some guys only like skinny blondes and wouldn't even consider a skinny dark haired woman or god forbid a skinny ginger:) or women who only want blokes who are over 6ft with blue eyes or some other such feature. Just think of all the different types of people you are missing out on, could never understand it.

Attraction isn't negotiable, that's the thing.

I do think the dating app culture we're living in has changed things, not necessarily for the better. IME in real life people aren't really hard and fast with their rules, they just know in general what their "type" is but are pretty flexible around that depending on whatever chemistry may or may not exist in person.

If I were to put it down on paper, I'd want a guy without too much baggage who's above a certain height, probably dark-haired and has a great sense of humour.

The most recent guy I dated was below that theoretical height, was a divorced single father, fair-haired and more on the intense than funny side. I was hook, line and sinker regardless. What was most attractive to me was that he had his sh1t together, was a really good father and took care of his health/fitness. Physically I loved his eyes and that he was "well put-together" as my mother would say. But on a dating app I probably wouldn't have looked twice.

You can't legislate for attraction, literally everyone is different. And that can cause a lot of angst and bitterness and agro in the online world because people will naturally try to define and control the uncontrollable - and they'll go for the obvious things that every man / woman would say they want. For women, height and career will be the big ones. For men, being goodlooking and slim will win out.

I'm, in theory, a "goodlooking slim woman", it hasn't brought love to me on these apps any easier than it would for anyone else. What it did bring me was lots of dates with men that fancied me "theoretically" but ultimately there was something missing and I was the casualty as they tried to figure that out. Or guys that just wanted sex. Or guys that weren't over their exes. Or guys that liked me but I didn't feel the same, and vice versa.

I'm no victim here - that's just dating! It's extraordinarily difficult and I would say somewhat reliant on a certain amount of undefinable "magic" to find someone that won't just be your friend, but your life partner, someone you feel both sexually and emotionally attracted to, and having those conventional things that people bleat on about might get you through a few more doors, but won't guarantee anything like this easy path that some around here would imagine they do.

bloodless_coup

It never ends.

I've got this same fat one liking me over and over, she must keep deleting and recreating her account.

I get a notification of a like and get all excited then see that yoke again, unbelievable.

completedit

Hahahahahahhaha ah man that's brutal tbh...why do you swipe on her though? I'm photogenic so Tinder is easy but I can't be bothered.

TheDavester

doylefe wrote: »

It never ends.

I've got this same fat one liking me over and over, she must keep deleting and recreating her account.

I get a notification of a like and get all excited then see that yoke again, unbelievable.

that really bugs me, I reset it now and again when its all quiet or bored and its the same one, w as I went on a date with her about a year ago and she was on the aggressive side, deleted her on it and I kinda flick yes to everyone and she keeps adding me

Yer Da sells Avon

completedit wrote: »

What are you on about? Men are absolutely crucified for everything, remember a man is only as good as his worst flaw. Men get absolutely abused for everything, hair, hairline, height, dick size, fat just isn't that high on the list for men.

At 5'7" and a bit, I'm relatively short in stature (although I've been blessed with a terrific hairline and a huge dick) and I've never felt 'crucified' for my lack of height. I even mention it on my Tinder profile and still get swiped right on, including by women who are taller than me. My profile contains no reference to, or pictorial evidence of my aforementioned lengthiness, because I'm a very modest man, so they're not swiping right because of 'the big D'.

completedit

5'7'' is bad but not terrible if you make up for it in other ways.

Gimme A Pound

I really don't see how 5ft 7 is bad. It's not tall for a man but it's hardly short.

Yer Da sells Avon

Adam Massive Druggist wrote: »

I really don't see how 5ft 7 is bad. It's not tall for a man but it's hardly short.

It's not very short, but it's not exactly 'owner-occupier of enchanted beanstalk' either. I mean, apart from my boyish good looks, lustrous hair and charming personality, my relative shortness is probably my most distinguishing feature (at least when fully clothed). And yet no woman has ever slagged me about it. Plenty of men have.

completedit

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

It's not very short, but it's not exactly 'owner-occupier of enchanted beanstalk' either. I mean, apart from my boyish good looks, lustrous hair and charming personality, my relative shortness is probably my most distinguishing feature (at least when fully clothed). And yet no woman has ever slagged me about it. Plenty of men have.

Shock. The best looking guys always are 5'7'' if you have the face, height don't matter

givyjoe

completedit wrote: »

Shock. The best looking guys always are 5'7'' if you have the face, height don't matter

Not according to at least a third of the dating profiles I swipe on.

Bigbagofcans

Average height for a man is 5'10 and for a woman is 5'5.
I'd call 5'7 quite short for a man but not that short.

Gimme A Pound

doylefe wrote: »

It never ends.

I've got this same fat one liking me over and over, she must keep deleting and recreating her account.

I get a notification of a like and get all excited then see that yoke again, unbelievable.

Life's tough.

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

It's not very short, but it's not exactly 'owner-occupier of enchanted beanstalk' either.

Well obviously - but I don't get why people refer to 5ft 7 or 8 as midget-like for men. Where did this notion come from? It's not tall, but "not tall" doesn't automatically mean "small".

B0jangles

Adam Massive Druggist wrote: »

Well obviously - but I don't get why people refer to 5ft 7 or 8 as midget-like for men. Where did this notion come from? It's not tall, but "not tall" doesn't automatically mean "small".

Because for some people it's easier to blame all their problems on one, specific, unalterable characteristic than deal with the fact that it's not their height, it's their personality and the attitude they give off, that are the real problems.

In this case, because some women say they only want to meet men over a certain height, that means men under that height can give up any hope of ever meeting anyone, and anyone who claims otherwise is either deluding themselves or secretly a billionaire movie star (because those are the only other things women care about).

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy that allows for a lot of complaining and no actual effort.

professore

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

Average height for a man is 5'10 and for a woman is 5'5.
I'd call 5'7 quite short for a man but not that short.

Average height for a man most definitely IS NOT 5'10". In Holland it might be.

ohnonotgmail

professore wrote: »

Average height for a man most definitely IS NOT 5'10". In Holland it might be.

the average height for a man in holland is 5'11 to 6'. The average for europe is 5'10'.

professore

B0jangles wrote: »

Because for some people it's easier to blame all their problems on one, specific, unalterable characteristic than deal with the fact that it's not their height, it's their personality and the attitude they give off, that are the real problems.

In this case, because some women say they only want to meet men over a certain height, that means men under that height can give up any hope of ever meeting anyone, and anyone who claims otherwise is either deluding themselves or secretly a billionaire movie star (because those are the only other things women care about).

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy that allows for a lot of complaining and no actual effort.

In fairness other than taking flattering pictures and working out forever, on Tinder there isn't anything personality wise you can do to improve yourself.

That only kicks in in person.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

B0jangles wrote: »

Because for some people it's easier to blame all their problems on one, specific, unalterable characteristic than deal with the fact that it's not their height, it's their personality and the attitude they give off, that are the real problems.

In this case, because some women say they only want to meet men over a certain height, that means men under that height can give up any hope of ever meeting anyone, and anyone who claims otherwise is either deluding themselves or secretly a billionaire movie star (because those are the only other things women care about).

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy that allows for a lot of complaining and no actual effort.

Totally agree. Generally find self described nice guys are the worst, I’d stay well clear of them. They’re usually the ones who get quite aggressive with a girl they feel they’ve been nice to, and therefore that obligates her to date him. He’s a nice guy but women are shallow bitches, women prefer arseholes, women don’t deserve nice guys being nice to them.
There is nothing - not height, weight, grey hair or baldness, crooked teeth - more off putting than a man who feels like he’s owed a relationship with a girl he finds attractive but she is not afforded the same courtesy because she’s vain or shallow or a bitch.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

skittles8710 wrote: »

You can't put on 20kg and not be overweight... unless you were on deaths door beforehand ,!!!

Well, let’s say Lia Lia is 5’9”. 20kg is around a 3 stone gain. To get to BMI 25 at 5’9”, you’d need to be in the low 12 stones. So a tall woman could easily be 9 stone and gain 3 stone and still not be overweight. And 9 stone would also see her being a healthy weight.

I have no idea if Lia Lia IS that tall but what she describes isn’t crazy if she IS tall. I’m just demonstrating that what she says is possible.

B0jangles

professore wrote: »

In fairness other than taking flattering pictures and working out forever, on Tinder there isn't anything personality wise you can do to improve yourself.

That only kicks in in person.

Oh absolutely - online dating is fundamentally shallow at the start, no question -it's tough.

I just don't see the point of complaining about people who publically list what I might think are nasty or unreasonable requirements - how would it be better if they didn't list them, but they still had them privately? I might end up actually meeting up with them, all hopeful and excited, only to be flatly rejected to my face.