Dealz need to go

Hammer89

.....like now.

As if the desk-flat red Lucozade, the gone-off toffees or the mouldy hair gel wasn't bad enough, they've only gone and customised their self-service machines.

Those contrapments are annoying at the best of times, but now Dealz have fitted them with a piss poor Elvis impersonator who blurts out catchphrases and lyrics relating to the King himself.

For example, if you're delayed for some reason, like trying to find your wallet, then the machine says, 'Uh we can't go on together' or something like this. And if the scales doesn't recognise something you scanned, he goes, 'Uh I'm getting a little suspicious now'. I'm not making this up.

It's only a bit of harmless fun. At least that's what the genius who came up with the idea thought, but believe me, it's very annoying when you're stuck at a self-service machine, with no human employee around, and the machine is repeatedly singing, 'Wise men say, only shop at Dealz' in an Elvis voice.

Wanderer78

Consumption is good.....

verycool

It's what he would have wanted.

pjohnson

How much coke have you had this morning?

Mr. Incognito

Pfffft. Dealz.

Aldi for the win

Dravokivich

I thought it was a bit odd. But to be honest. I don't pay much attention to it. You could always que up at the till.

the purple tin

Hammer89 wrote: »

.....like now.

As if the desk-flat red Lucozade, the gone-off toffees or the mouldy hair gel wasn't bad enough, they've only gone and customised their self-service machines.

Those contrapments are annoying at the best of times, but now Dealz have fitted them with a piss poor Elvis impersonator who blurts out catchphrases and lyrics relating to the King himself.

For example, if you're delayed for some reason, like trying to find your wallet, then the machine says, 'Uh we can't go on together' or something like this. And if the scales doesn't recognise something you scanned, he goes, 'Uh I'm getting a little suspicious now'. I'm not making this up.

It's only a bit of harmless fun. At least that's what the genius who came up with the idea thought, but believe me, it's very annoying when you're stuck at a self-service machine, with no human employee around, and the machine is repeatedly singing, 'Wise men say, only shop at Dealz' in an Elvis voice.

:eek: That sounds deadly!

somesoldiers

Got 15 Fulfill bars for e15 in Dealz the other day...normally 2.50 -3 each, granted they only had Mint Choc, Strawberry and some weird zesty lemon yoke and the expiry dates is Nov 18 but still a great Deal

Graces7

Dravokivich wrote: »

I thought it was a bit odd. But to be honest. I don't pay much attention to it. You could always que up at the till.

and there is always someone on hand to help.... I have no access to a dealz now but Mr Price! OH MY!

Hammer89

Graces7 wrote: »

and there is always someone on hand to help.... I have no access to a dealz now but Mr Price! OH MY!

There's certainly not someone on hand to help, not at Dealz. The real tills were unmanned. Normally there's some smelly teenager in the area to assist your self-service needs but he was probably **** in the stock room to a box of Amy Childs' perfume when I was there.

Boom_Bap

Hammer89 wrote: »

.....like now.

As if the desk-flat red Lucozade, the gone-off toffees or the mouldy hair gel wasn't bad enough, they've only gone and customised their self-service machines.

Those contrapments are annoying at the best of times, but now Dealz have fitted them with a piss poor Elvis impersonator who blurts out catchphrases and lyrics relating to the King himself.

For example, if you're delayed for some reason, like trying to find your wallet, then the machine says, 'Uh we can't go on together' or something like this. And if the scales doesn't recognise something you scanned, he goes, 'Uh I'm getting a little suspicious now'. I'm not making this up.

It's only a bit of harmless fun. At least that's what the genius who came up with the idea thought, but believe me, it's very annoying when you're stuck at a self-service machine, with no human employee around, and the machine is repeatedly singing, 'Wise men say, only shop at Dealz' in an Elvis voice.

Do it fast and do it right. You're being brainwashed by the machine to be more accurate so that you don't have to hear it's bullsh*t.


Terminator is going to happen.

For Forks Sake

Shut up and drink your Irn-Bru.

SEPT 23 1989

do you hear the voice of Elvis often?

andekwarhola

Hammer89 wrote: »

.....like now.

As if the desk-flat red Lucozade, the gone-off toffees or the mouldy hair gel wasn't bad enough, they've only gone and customised their self-service machines.

Those contrapments are annoying at the best of times, but now Dealz have fitted them with a piss poor Elvis impersonator who blurts out catchphrases and lyrics relating to the King himself.

For example, if you're delayed for some reason, like trying to find your wallet, then the machine says, 'Uh we can't go on together' or something like this. And if the scales doesn't recognise something you scanned, he goes, 'Uh I'm getting a little suspicious now'. I'm not making this up.

It's only a bit of harmless fun. At least that's what the genius who came up with the idea thought, but believe me, it's very annoying when you're stuck at a self-service machine, with no human employee around, and the machine is repeatedly singing, 'Wise men say, only shop at Dealz' in an Elvis voice.

Don't be cruel.

coffee_cake

you need to go

Triboro

Were you caught in a trap?

Hammer89

https://twitter.com/RayMcGrath/status/1037696646228918272

https://twitter.com/perturbed_/status/1037887778028244992

https://twitter.com/itsseershaa/status/1038114088298184704

https://twitter.com/em_kl/status/1039287801941057536

razorblunt

Hammer89 wrote: »

.....like now.



Those contrapments are annoying at the best of times, but now Dealz have fitted them with a piss poor Elvis impersonator who blurts out catchphrases and lyrics relating to the King himself.

.

This is weird! I was out in Poundland (UK version of Dealz) at lunch and was going to post the same thing in the TA annoyance thread.


Handy old place for toiletries though.

Jimmy.

Even the ones on the rock and roll don’t frequent dealz

moonage

Irish Guitarist

They could at least have it sing "we can't go on together with suspicious items in the baggage counter".

SirLemonhead

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-T4USyVq04

... why??!

cantdecide

Thread title should have been 'Dealz needz to go'. The 'dealz' name makes me gawk.

Aglomerado

I wish I'd read this before I went for a walk on break. There's a Dealz near work. I want to hear Elvis.

cantdecide

So what we're calling for is a little less conversation at the self service till?

Beric Dondarrion

I thought I was hearing things the other day when I went to pay for stuff in there...

"Well it's one for the money..." in a southern drawl....

VW 1

cantdecide wrote: »

So what we're calling for is a little less conversation at the self service till?

Exactly, a little more action please.

MOH

At least it's better than the SuperValu ones that ask you 15 times during the transaction if you have a loyalty card

coffee_cake

MOH wrote: »

At least it's better than the SuperValu ones that ask you 15 times during the transaction if you have a loyalty card

PLEASE SELECT PAYMENT TYPE -
DO YOU HAVE A LOYALTY CARD
no
DO YOU HAVE ANY VOUCHERS
no
PLEASE SELECT PAYMENT TYPE

omg stop asking me twice

THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT SUPERVALU
taking my stuff
PLEASE TAKE YOUR ITEMS
PLEASE TAKE YOUR ITEMS
PLEASE TAKE YOUR ITEMS

I AM TAKING THEM OKAY!!!!

peckerhead

This is going to replace dating for 70% of people by the year 2030.

riffmongous

UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA