Whats the quickest you have falling in love with someone?

AMKC

Just asking this as I meet someone new during the weekend and we spent a nice few hours together. This person gets me the way no one before really has. They do not care what the world thinks or anyone else thinks. They are a very cool and open minded person but the spark of love was not there at least not yet maybe never. I am just hoping for now we can be good friends.
I have never really been in love so can not say what it is like. My longest ever relationship was only three months and that's a long time ago now. I want to fall in love as it would be nice to have someone I could really trust and love to share life with and talk to about anything.
I do not think I could fall in love with someone in an hour like on ''First Dates Ireland'' so fair play to the few who have. That must be very special. I think it would take a lot longer well for m e anyway. I have had the crushes that never were from when I was in school way back in the day and after that too. Maybe I should have tried harderthen but I was not a very social person either not a club disco person.

cantdecide

It often takes time lots of time, IME. I don't believe in the 'chemistry' and 'spark' business. This is the flaw of online dating.

0byme75341jo28

Won't it be great when this all ends in tears.

cantdecide

Brysen Tasty Mandrake wrote: »

Won't it be great when this all ends in tears.

I hope not. I think the OP's in the lurvvvvvve

Eircom_Sucks

cantdecide wrote: »

It often takes time lots of time, IME. I don't believe in the 'chemistry' and 'spark' business. This is the flaw of online dating.

Exactly

People use this too much

For example , my last 2 long relationships i didn’t initially fancy my partner at very start , but the more i met them and had dates the more i fell for them , we split for diff reasons etc

But nowadays people all about looks first off it seems , destined to fail that way i think

Jimmy Dags

Android phone users are a turn off.

ligerdub

This person seems to be plural too......no mean feat.

AMKC

cantdecide wrote: »

I hope not. I think the OP's in the lurvvvvvve

Afraid not. They deserve someone better than me anyway. That's why I said just being friends would be cool.

Oops!

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

Exactly

People use this too much

For example , my last 2 long relationships i didn’t initially fancy my partner at very start , but the more i met them and had dates the more i fell for them , we split for diff reasons etc

But nowadays people all about looks first off it seems , destined to fail that way i think

Very true... In my last relationship of a good few years she was definatly way more into it than i was at the begining, a good looking woman but i just really did'nt have much interest in a relationship with her. We used to meet casually for about the first 3 months, maby for a pre planned drink or just randomly.... Then after that we became very close, best friends and i found myself completely in love with her... We had some very happy years together but then things run their course and it finished...

The word love is bounced around waaay too easily......

Don'tforce it or think about it too much OP.... If it's going to happen it will naturally...

Kitty6277

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

Exactly

People use this too much

For example , my last 2 long relationships i didn’t initially fancy my partner at very start , but the more i met them and had dates the more i fell for them , we split for diff reasons etc

But nowadays people all about looks first off it seems , destined to fail that way i think

I have to admit I was the same when I met my OH, but the more I got to know him, the more the attraction grew. I'm not sure the whole "love at first sight" thing is real, it's not in my experience so far

Purple Mountain

AMKC wrote: »

Afraid not. They deserve someone better than me anyway. That's why I said just being friends would be cool.

Why the defeatist attitude?

Stonedpilot

Seems like the OP is seeing this eejit through rose tinted glasses.

Dont care what anyone thinks LOL.

Everyone cares, some to a lesser degree than others, but trust me everyone cares.

like this phrase

"I dont give a shyte what anyone thinks of me" = words of someone who obsesses what others think of em!.


Part of being human.

facehugger99

Lust only takes a couple of seconds.

Love - probably a few months.

Malayalam

I think when one is young one falls in love very very quickly. We don't know hardly anything about the world and yet we are also very open. Innocent, romantic, prone to magical thinking. I fell completely, madly in love with my husband, because of his lopsided smile and fabulous thighs (denim cut off shorts were the thing) the first minute I saw him in the distance on a bus, and we are still happily together after 30 years. I am glad we met when young. If anything happened, I could not imagine falling in love again, now, as an older person. I have seen too much of the complexity, contradictions and sorrow of humans and this human life. It would certainly take a lot of time to ''fall in love'', as a result.

Appledreams15

It's true.
I think we are more open when we are young 
And more closed when we were older.
I was really in love once, but maybe it did not have anything to do with him, I just was expecting the best, and able to be in love.

Now I am older, it is hard to be that open again. I think we are all like this

Stonedpilot

Appledreams15 wrote: »

It's true.
I think we are more open when we are young 
And more closed when we were older.
I was really in love once, but maybe it did not have anything to do with him, I just was expecting the best, and able to be in love.

Now I am older, it is hard to be that open again. I think we are all like this

I disagree. People get more desperate the older they are. Become more open and willing to give people a go.

Goes both ways.

Love at first sight for me. Wonderful thunderbolt of attraction, three incredible days/nights, and then, she went back to her husband. Ahh well...

Love is an individual thingy. People love to tell you what love is... (and what love isn't) but it's only their own experience. There's no set rule set for what love is or how it happens.

garbo speaks

I often wonder what it would feel like to be in love.

AMKC

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Why the defeatist attitude?

Not defeatist. We did have a lot of things in common but also a big age gap but that does not bother me as they are very mature, clever, and looks great. Also a lot we could learn from each other. I am hoping to hear back from them but it has been two days now. I texted and also messaged online. They have not replied back yet but did say they had a busy week ahead so I will give it a week and then move on if there is no word.

Stonedpilot wrote: »

I disagree. People get more desperate the older they are. Become more open and willing to give people a go.

I think it depends on the person. Some might get more desperate, more open and willing and others less.

Goes both ways.

garbo speaks wrote: »

I often wonder what it would feel like to be in love.

Good to see I am not the only one.

JohnnyFlash

After 3 pints.

Your Face

I also had a nice weekend OP.

garbo speaks

The lonliness can be crushing, wondering why love and intimacy are such foreign things to me.

Wibbs

facehugger99 wrote: »

Lust only takes a couple of seconds.

Love - probably a few months.

This. At least that's how it's gone for me. I've never grown in lust with someone, it's either there at the start or not. The love part takes a while. Infatuation comes along more quickly though.

Pac1Man

Wibbs wrote: »

This. At least that's how it's gone for me. I've never grown in lust with someone, it's either there at the start or not. The love part takes a while. Infatuation comes along more quickly though.

Wibbs that's the shortest post you've ever written. You ok hun? :pac:

Lorelli!

It takes time to get to know someone imo. I agree it's hard to define but I think love is a compatibility/friendship, building of trust and positive sexual tension.

Anything too intense or over the top at the beginning usually has no real substance behind it. Not that that can't develop but a lot of times intensity can be mistaken for intimacy.

Hector Savage

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

After 3 pints.

Ah good man Johnny !!

Wibbs

Pac1Man wrote: »

Wibbs that's the shortest post you've ever written. You ok hun? :pac:

Yep.

andekwarhola

One yoke.

stimpson

I knew my missus was the one for me immediately. I remember sitting down and looking across the table at her big smile and that was it. It did take me six months to convince her, but it was totally worth it as we’re still together and happy after 14 years.

razorblunt

When you know, you know, you know!

Definitely a few months but you definitely know its building to something.
My wife said she almost knew straight away, but looking back I think it was due her liking me / having a crush for a month or two first.
I was the non chalant "oh I haven't thought about this" aka I thought she was way out of my league and wouldn't stand a chance!
She's a silly woman that one!

Pherekydes

7.62 secs.

Serious answer:

5.56 secs

Lollipops23

I fell in love with my ex over the course of one evening, at a house party where I wasn't even drinking. Knew as soon as I left that it wouldn't be the last I'd see of him.

On balance, I kinda wish it had been.

wakka12

Well Ive been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now + 1 year of friendship before that. Were both young still, only met at 19. Id say it took me a solid year to fall in love, you need to experience a range of situations to know you love somebody imo..and only now over 3 years in am I at a point where I cant envision our relationship ever ending bar some very unexpected event getting in the way of that

yourdeadwright

I feel in love the second  my daughter was born ,
In love with a partner was probably a year ,

_Dara_

A month.

_Dara_

cantdecide wrote: »

It often takes time lots of time, IME. I don't believe in the 'chemistry' and 'spark' business. This is the flaw of online dating.

Well, talk of chemistry just really means “Do you fancy this person?”.

cantdecide

_Dara_ wrote: »

Well, talk of chemistry just really means “Do you fancy this person?”.

Attraction can grow over time. My longest relationship stemmed from a place where I had very borderline levels of attraction to her. After a couple of months I was asking myself had I really been that tentative about it. It can take a long time to relax with someone new and once you really get to know someone and start to tune into their humour and character and things often develop in this way, IME.

_Dara_

cantdecide wrote: »

Attraction can grow over time. My longest relationship stemmed from a place where I had very borderline levels of attraction to her. After a couple of months I was asking myself had I really been that tentative about it. It can take a long time to relax with someone new and once you really get to know someone and start to tune into their humour and character and things often develop in this way, IME.

Oh sure but when people talk of instant chemistry or connection, it’s euphemism for “We fancied each other on first sight”.

scopper

Usually takes a little time albeit with attraction immediate.

I have fallen in love immediately once (though it did not work out in the end, to my regret still).

Wibbs

Pherekydes wrote: »

7.62 secs.

Serious answer:

5.56 secs

Hmmm they're both bullet calibers. I worry about you P.

cantdecide

_Dara_ wrote: »

Oh sure but when people talk of instant chemistry or connection, it’s euphemism for “We fancied each other on first sight”.

Maybe this is a definitional thing but I've heard and read countless times (eg in the online dating forum and elsewhere) 'I was attracted to them but didn't have chemistry'.

Katgurl

3 months for me

Donald Trump

Kitty6277 wrote: »

I have to admit I was the same when I met my OH, but the more I got to know him, the more the attraction grew. I'm not sure the whole "love at first sight" thing is real, it's not in my experience so far

Took a while to find out how much he had in the bank eh?

:pac:

Wibbs

cantdecide wrote: »

Maybe this is a definitional thing but I've heard and read countless times (eg in the online dating forum and elsewhere) 'I was attracted to them but didn't have chemistry'.

That's defo happened to me anyway. Years ago met this woman and major attraction going on. Mentally and emotionally really in sync from hour one, physically she would have been well within the top ten most beautiful women I've ever met, actual head turner on the street.

And then we kissed. Nada. Really odd and we both felt it. Like kissing a relative or something. Kinda euuuuuuw. Real pain in the arse on both sides.

Subsequently I read of research into things like pheromones, immune system profiles and the like and apparently inclose quarter encounters like kissing our reptile brains make decisions on the other persons physical makeup and decides yay or nay. IIRC the more different your immune systems are the more it's a yay, the more similar the more it's a nay. It seems we were totally incompatible at that level.

Donald Trump

yourdeadwright wrote: »

I feel in love the second my daughter was born

Sounds the same as me and Ivanka :pac:

Donald Trump

Wibbs wrote: »

And then we kissed. Nada. Really odd and we both felt it. Like kissing a relative or something. Kinda euuuuuuw. Real pain in the arse on both sides.
.

Rim jobs FTW ?

Wibbs wrote: »

Subsequently I read of research into things like pheromones, immune system profiles and the like and apparently inclose quarter encounters like kissing our reptile brains make decisions on the other persons physical makeup and decides yay or nay. IIRC the more different your immune systems are the more it's a yay, the more similar the more it's a nay. It seems we were totally incompatible at that level.

I heard the same logic. Which is why I try my best to expose myself to each and every possible disease going in order to make my immune system as unique as possible. Don't mind those feckin johnnies kids

Malayalam

Wibbs wrote: »

That's defo happened to me anyway. Years ago met this woman and major attraction going on. Mentally and emotionally really in sync from hour one, physically she would have been well within the top ten most beautiful women I've ever met, actual head turner on the street.

And then we kissed. Nada. Really odd and we both felt it. Like kissing a relative or something. Kinda euuuuuuw. Real pain in the arse on both sides.

Subsequently I read of research into things like pheromones, immune system profiles and the like and apparently inclose quarter encounters like kissing our reptile brains make decisions on the other persons physical makeup and decides yay or nay. IIRC the more different your immune systems are the more it's a yay, the more similar the more it's a nay. It seems we were totally incompatible at that level.

Hah, that's mad What a conundrum.

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

That's defo happened to me anyway. Years ago met this woman and major attraction going on. Mentally and emotionally really in sync from hour one, physically she would have been well within the top ten most beautiful women I've ever met, actual head turner on the street.

And then we kissed. Nada. Really odd and we both felt it. Like kissing a relative or something. Kinda euuuuuuw. Real pain in the arse on both sides.

Subsequently I read of research into things like pheromones, immune system profiles and the like and apparently inclose quarter encounters like kissing our reptile brains make decisions on the other persons physical makeup and decides yay or nay. IIRC the more different your immune systems are the more it's a yay, the more similar the more it's a nay. It seems we were totally incompatible at that level.

Only because you kept writing it, it's yea or nay. same pronunciation


To the OP: longer than a weekend anyway...

seenitall

Ah now, when things work out in a glorious, spinetinglingly delicious manner, it's most definitely a pure case of Yaaaaay...

I remember I was in school, and i met a girl and immediately was mad about her. Couldn't bring myself to talk to her. Complete over-the-top infatuation. The kinda thing you see in TV shows and films and you roll your eyes at it because 'that'd never happen in real life'.

Was crazy about her for years, all through school. Made efforts to talk to her, but it never went well and I was always a mess. Think Kyle from South Park (but without the vomiting).

Nothing ever happened between us, and we were completely different types of person. It would never have worked out even if we did meet up a few times. Chalk and Cheese would be an understatement.

I've never felt as strongly about anyone I've met since. It left me very much 'distant' from people in general afterwards. Try as I might I just can't seem to 'love' anyone since then.


So to answer the OP, i'd say instantly was the quickest, but dunno if you'd really class it as love. Nowadays everyone is viewed with the same cynical outlook (with preference for the bustier ladies of the world.. ahem.. ).



I'd say I'm among many with similar experience.

Blitzkrieger

I think I'd go with the majority here and say a few hours. Though, tbh, I'm not 100% sure that was not infatuation rather than love. Also, sadly, she didn't seem to feel the same way.