Whats the quickest you have falling in love with someone?

Lollipops23 · 24-04-2018 12:01PM

I fell in love with my ex over the course of one evening, at a house party where I wasn't even drinking. Knew as soon as I left that it wouldn't be the last I'd see of him.

On balance, I kinda wish it had been.

wakka12 · 24-04-2018 12:01PM

Well Ive been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now + 1 year of friendship before that. Were both young still, only met at 19. Id say it took me a solid year to fall in love, you need to experience a range of situations to know you love somebody imo..and only now over 3 years in am I at a point where I cant envision our relationship ever ending bar some very unexpected event getting in the way of that

yourdeadwright · 24-04-2018 12:04PM

I feel in love the second my daughter was born ,
In love with a partner was probably a year ,

_Dara_ · 24-04-2018 12:56PM

A month.

_Dara_ · 24-04-2018 12:59PM

cantdecide wrote: »

It often takes time lots of time, IME. I don't believe in the 'chemistry' and 'spark' business. This is the flaw of online dating.

Well, talk of chemistry just really means “Do you fancy this person?”.

cantdecide · 24-04-2018 02:05PM

_Dara_ wrote: »

Well, talk of chemistry just really means “Do you fancy this person?”.

Attraction can grow over time. My longest relationship stemmed from a place where I had very borderline levels of attraction to her. After a couple of months I was asking myself had I really been that tentative about it. It can take a long time to relax with someone new and once you really get to know someone and start to tune into their humour and character and things often develop in this way, IME.

_Dara_ · 24-04-2018 02:12PM

cantdecide wrote: »

Attraction can grow over time. My longest relationship stemmed from a place where I had very borderline levels of attraction to her. After a couple of months I was asking myself had I really been that tentative about it. It can take a long time to relax with someone new and once you really get to know someone and start to tune into their humour and character and things often develop in this way, IME.

Oh sure but when people talk of instant chemistry or connection, it’s euphemism for “We fancied each other on first sight”.

scopper · 24-04-2018 02:20PM

Usually takes a little time albeit with attraction immediate.

I have fallen in love immediately once (though it did not work out in the end, to my regret still).

Wibbs · 24-04-2018 02:24PM

Pherekydes wrote: »

7.62 secs.

Serious answer:
5.56 secs

Hmmm they're both bullet calibers. I worry about you P.

cantdecide · 24-04-2018 02:28PM

_Dara_ wrote: »

Oh sure but when people talk of instant chemistry or connection, it’s euphemism for “We fancied each other on first sight”.

Maybe this is a definitional thing but I've heard and read countless times (eg in the online dating forum and elsewhere) 'I was attracted to them but didn't have chemistry'.

Katgurl · 24-04-2018 02:41PM

3 months for me

Donald Trump · 24-04-2018 02:48PM

Kitty6277 wrote: »

I have to admit I was the same when I met my OH, but the more I got to know him, the more the attraction grew. I'm not sure the whole "love at first sight" thing is real, it's not in my experience so far

Took a while to find out how much he had in the bank eh?

:pac:

Wibbs · 24-04-2018 02:51PM

cantdecide wrote: »

Maybe this is a definitional thing but I've heard and read countless times (eg in the online dating forum and elsewhere) 'I was attracted to them but didn't have chemistry'.

That's defo happened to me anyway. Years ago met this woman and major attraction going on. Mentally and emotionally really in sync from hour one, physically she would have been well within the top ten most beautiful women I've ever met, actual head turner on the street.

And then we kissed. Nada. Really odd and we both felt it. Like kissing a relative or something. Kinda euuuuuuw. Real pain in the arse on both sides.

Subsequently I read of research into things like pheromones, immune system profiles and the like and apparently inclose quarter encounters like kissing our reptile brains make decisions on the other persons physical makeup and decides yay or nay. IIRC the more different your immune systems are the more it's a yay, the more similar the more it's a nay. It seems we were totally incompatible at that level.

Donald Trump · 24-04-2018 02:52PM

yourdeadwright wrote: »

I feel in love the second my daughter was born

Sounds the same as me and Ivanka :pac:

Donald Trump · 24-04-2018 02:53PM

Wibbs wrote: »

And then we kissed. Nada. Really odd and we both felt it. Like kissing a relative or something. Kinda euuuuuuw. Real pain in the arse on both sides.
.

Rim jobs FTW ?

Wibbs wrote: »

Subsequently I read of research into things like pheromones, immune system profiles and the like and apparently inclose quarter encounters like kissing our reptile brains make decisions on the other persons physical makeup and decides yay or nay. IIRC the more different your immune systems are the more it's a yay, the more similar the more it's a nay. It seems we were totally incompatible at that level.

I heard the same logic. Which is why I try my best to expose myself to each and every possible disease going in order to make my immune system as unique as possible. Don't mind those feckin johnnies kids

Malayalam · 24-04-2018 03:07PM

Wibbs wrote: »

That's defo happened to me anyway. Years ago met this woman and major attraction going on. Mentally and emotionally really in sync from hour one, physically she would have been well within the top ten most beautiful women I've ever met, actual head turner on the street.

And then we kissed. Nada. Really odd and we both felt it. Like kissing a relative or something. Kinda euuuuuuw. Real pain in the arse on both sides.

Subsequently I read of research into things like pheromones, immune system profiles and the like and apparently inclose quarter encounters like kissing our reptile brains make decisions on the other persons physical makeup and decides yay or nay. IIRC the more different your immune systems are the more it's a yay, the more similar the more it's a nay. It seems we were totally incompatible at that level.

Hah, that's mad

What a conundrum.

24-04-2018 03:12PM

Wibbs wrote: »

That's defo happened to me anyway. Years ago met this woman and major attraction going on. Mentally and emotionally really in sync from hour one, physically she would have been well within the top ten most beautiful women I've ever met, actual head turner on the street.

And then we kissed. Nada. Really odd and we both felt it. Like kissing a relative or something. Kinda euuuuuuw. Real pain in the arse on both sides.

Subsequently I read of research into things like pheromones, immune system profiles and the like and apparently inclose quarter encounters like kissing our reptile brains make decisions on the other persons physical makeup and decides yay or nay. IIRC the more different your immune systems are the more it's a yay, the more similar the more it's a nay. It seems we were totally incompatible at that level.

Only because you kept writing it, it's yea or nay. same pronunciation

To the OP: longer than a weekend anyway...

seenitall · 24-04-2018 03:24PM

Ah now, when things work out in a glorious, spinetinglingly delicious manner, it's most definitely a pure case of Yaaaaay...

24-04-2018 03:30PM

I remember I was in school, and i met a girl and immediately was mad about her. Couldn't bring myself to talk to her. Complete over-the-top infatuation. The kinda thing you see in TV shows and films and you roll your eyes at it because 'that'd never happen in real life'.

Was crazy about her for years, all through school. Made efforts to talk to her, but it never went well and I was always a mess. Think Kyle from South Park (but without the vomiting).

Nothing ever happened between us, and we were completely different types of person. It would never have worked out even if we did meet up a few times. Chalk and Cheese would be an understatement.

I've never felt as strongly about anyone I've met since. It left me very much 'distant' from people in general afterwards. Try as I might I just can't seem to 'love' anyone since then.

So to answer the OP, i'd say instantly was the quickest, but dunno if you'd really class it as love. Nowadays everyone is viewed with the same cynical outlook (with preference for the bustier ladies of the world.. ahem..

).

I'd say I'm among many with similar experience.

Blitzkrieger · 24-04-2018 03:47PM

I think I'd go with the majority here and say a few hours. Though, tbh, I'm not 100% sure that was not infatuation rather than love. Also, sadly, she didn't seem to feel the same way.

_Dara_ · 24-04-2018 04:12PM

cantdecide wrote: »

Maybe this is a definitional thing but I've heard and read countless times (eg in the online dating forum and elsewhere) 'I was attracted to them but didn't have chemistry'.

Are you sure it's not worded more like "They were attractive but we had no chemistry". Like, you knew you were looking at a good-looking person but that didn't make you fancy them.

Wibbs · 24-04-2018 04:51PM

bluewolf wrote:

Only because you kept writing it, it's yea or nay. same pronunciation

When insufferable pedantry fails.

Malayalam wrote: »

Hah, that's mad What a conundrum.

Oddly enough, not really. The "nope" factor was just too much. The pure physical attraction was gone.

cantdecide · 24-04-2018 05:15PM

Wibbs wrote: »

IIRC the more different your immune systems are the more it's a yay, the more similar the more it's a nay. It seems we were totally incompatible at that level.

Interesting. I see googling in my future.

_Dara_ wrote: »

Are you sure it's not worded more like "They were attractive but we had no chemistry". Like, you knew you were looking at a good-looking person but that didn't make you fancy them.

I'm not sure if we're agreeing or at cross-purposes, _Dara_. I've had occasions where I've met people that have had me crushing on them after talking to them and I've had occasions when someone I initially had little attraction to slowly started floating my boat over time.

Think of meeting someone new through friends or a colleague you get to know over time - it's easy to feel an appreciation or admiration for someone even if you know they're out of your reach - we're only human.

24-04-2018 05:24PM

Wibbs wrote: »

When insufferable pedantry fails.

Oddly enough, not really. The "nope" factor was just too much. The pure physical attraction was gone.

I have no idea what this means

PoulM · 24-04-2018 05:27PM

Last time it took me less than 2 minutes to fall in love.

But I think you need to define falling in love. The bloody well known feeling of butterflies in the solar plexus is a good indication that you've fallen in love. Having the person constantly on one's mind can also be an indication, however, it can also be an indication of hysterical obsession.

24-04-2018 05:28PM

PoulM wrote: »

Last time it took me less than 2 minutes to fall in love.

But I think you need to define falling in love. The bloody well known feeling of butterflies in the solar plexus is a good indication that you've fallen in love. Having the person constantly on one's mind can also be an indication, however, it can also be an indication of hysterical obsession.

2 minutes? I'd say you fell in lust or infatuation. Butterflies is definitely not an indication of something that deep, imo.

PoulM · 24-04-2018 05:36PM

Well, you may call it lust, that's allright. It's a severe interest in the other person, and once the butterflies are there, you have a distinct verification that you've fallen in love. That's how it works for me.

Not native English spoken so I don't know what infatuation is, sorry.

Wibbs · 24-04-2018 05:55PM

bluewolf wrote: »

I have no idea what this means

If it's in regard to your grammar nazism "Yay" is an acceptable spelling. So in future maybe take your corrections to the Spell Czechs forum where it will doubtless be appreciated by your fellow pedants? Never mind spelling/grammar correction is against the AH forum charter.

Wibbs · 24-04-2018 05:58PM

PoulM wrote: »

Not native English spoken so I don't know what infatuation is, sorry.

Infatuation would be a very quick and often strong romantic interest in someone with little actual experience or knowledge of them. A projection of what you think they are. It may turn out to be love in the long term if who they are matches what you thought, but it may not. Usually only lasts a few months. Kinda like lust with extra romance on top?

24-04-2018 06:06PM

You surely need to know someone to love them, anything else is lust or infatuation. Unless you're talking about the visceral love of a parent for their own infant.

It's taken me a couple of months to fall in love, though I had already fallen in like (and in fancying) like crazy.

Whats the quickest you have falling in love with someone?

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