Friend borrowing money

justfillmein

I'd ask how exactly she will be sorted in the next few weeks.
how will she be financially better off, and by what date exactly?

she will give you the full low down because she is looking for more money atm.
when she tells you her master plan, you say 'that's brilliant, however I'm sorry, I am not in a position to lend out money at the minute'. But you are glad she will be able to repay you your money, because you have your own affairs to get in order.
she will have walked into it blindly and will have no excuse about repaying the money already owed.

you still might not get it back, but you can take it from there if things go that way.

A few reminders about arrangements in collecting the money as the date approaches too. put the pressure on her.

And don't even lend her lunch money ever again!

good luck with it, I hope you get your money back, and soon.
you were very kind to lend that amount out.

rainbowtrout

Wexford96 wrote: »

Yep. There's always something going on to delay repayment. The initial amount was to buy a car. Then there were hospital bills for a parent, not making the rent and other things. The biggest expense is her drinking I expect.
Anyway, thanks to the encouragement I've received here, I've hardened my attitude and have determined to get every penny back somehow.

Ya, why didn't she go the route of credit union/bank overdraft etc? To ask work colleagues for a large sum of money like that means she's burned her bridges with anyone that is close to her by borrowing money off them and not paying them back.

She wouldn't borrow it off the bank (assuming they would lend it to her) as they would get every penny back off her. Easier to sponge off someone like yourself who gave the money in good faith.

Definitely ask her for the remaining €500. Like others have suggested put it in writing, but don't give her a penny more.

Alibaba

Ya .. Don't give her another cent.

And keep after her till you get the rest of your money back.

Got stung for €2000 myself almost a year ago.

Money was supposed to back 2 months later.

Guess what ... Nothing yet , except lies and excuses.

Some people are just thankless.

LolaJJ

As the others have said. No way, don't give it to her.

Why not say - I can't afford it because i'm broke myself due to the €500 I'm still waiting on from you. If I had that back then i'd be able to sort you out.

As you say, she has no respect for you, I would also make a point of asking her for the money at every available opportunity until she is so irritated she starts to repay you. If you need to ask in front of other people to shame her in to it, then do.

I can't imagine a situation that would cause me to request help financially from a colleague nor can I imagine any of my colleagues asking me for money....it's not normal.

justfillmein

Alibaba wrote: »

Got stung for €2000 myself almost a year ago.
Money was supposed to back 2 months later.

me too. fell out badly with someone over it.
money was supposed be for short period of time.
it end up dragging on with not a single mention of repayment.
still had the nerve though to ask for small lends in between too. I couldn't believe it.

end up getting the money back in the end but it had got pretty serious by then

splinter65

Not money I know but a woman I was on nodding terms with rang my doorbell one night and very nicely asked me if she could borrow a dressy jacket she’d admired on me at both our children’s communions. (We’re both on the large side and nice things can be hard to get).
I said of course and she was effusive in her thanks and assuring me that she would have it dry cleaned and return it by Wednesday.
Well my daughter and her son are both 20 and of course I never saw the jacket again. It was quite expensive and I’d worn it once.
I never asked her for it back. She’s been avoiding me now over it for about 14 years. (We live in a medium sized rural town, it’s hard to avoid people).
I have seen her her leave shops when she spots me.
Once, about 6 months after she “borrowed” it I met her head on and she gushed about how mortified she was (and she was) and how pleased she was to have met me and how she’d be up that evening with the dry cleaned jacket.
Not a bit of it.
Just today I saw her getting back into her car rather then go into Centra after me,
How do people get themselves into these messes?

justfillmein

Splinter that story is almost funny:D. to think someone would let something like a coat cause so much awkwardness. especially living in a small town.

I have ANOTHER story, similar to that from this xmas.
lent out a household item to a long term friend that I grew up with.
she avoided my one or two phone calls looking for this item back.
then has went AWOL since.
seen her a few weeks ago stopped at traffic lights, and she wouldn't even look at me.

I was mortified on her behalf:D. I'll be forever moaning about my treasured item, but I'd rather be me at a loss. than someone willing to put a friendship out the window over something so small.

punisher5112

Had very similar as op with a work colleague.

He called me up and asked could I call over, I did later that day.
Turns out he had a sob story lined up and reeled me in.
He started crying that they were going to be kicked out as they owed €14k rent. He asked for €5k which I didn't have so I agreed to help out as best I could which was €3.5k so then comes less then 2 months and similar needs more badly stuck yada yada and I come up with €1k.

Looked for more after but I was cleaned out so he promised to pay me back on the 1st amount within 4 months and then he was to get an injury payout in a few months as time went on.

He received a large some for a back injury etc in a car crash which funnily enough I was also in.

He looked for things over time and it just turned into what could they get without paying so I was quite helpful and way too generous over the few years. Just 2 weeks after he received claim he turned on me and made it out like I was hounding him for the money etc and sure why don't I sue him. I never asked for the money over the 4 years.
I received death threats among a load of other crap along with registered letters.

I ended up bringing him to court and he tried to deny it all and then said he paid all of it back..

Turns out I had receipts and bank transfer info which he thought I wouldn't have..... Jaw hits floor.... Hilarious.

10 years since loan I have got back €1950.

I have learned a valuable lesson but will still help a work mate or friends out for small amounts like a score etc.

Never lend to a friend if you want to see your money again.

justfillmein

punisher5112 wrote: »

I have learned a valuable lesson but will still help a work mate or friends out for small amounts like a score etc.

wow punisher that sounds tough.

unfortunately that's where this leaves you. not wanting to help out anyone again and that's sad.
I'm the same, I only lend out small amounts now too.

punisher5112

justfillmein wrote: »

wow punisher that sounds tough.

unfortunately that's where this leaves you. not wanting to help out anyone again and that's sad.
I'm the same, I only lend out small amounts now too.

Oh there is so much more nobody would believe it.

He had management back him up in work and put in 2 cases I know of to try and get me sacked.

Get this even got a guy who looks very like a certain someone off family Guy to go witness and say I did something etc.

I don't lose any sleep over it that money was gone to me after 5 or 6 months... Kind of got the feeling you know.

qwerty13

I’ve been there OP. I had never considered myself a ‘soft touch’, but I’ve been stung by family, and by a friend.

To be fair, I did tell both that they didn’t need to pay me back straight away - but that seems to have been interpreted by family member & friend as never paying me back.

The friend amount was a few hundred. I can get over that. But the family one was around 10k. Years ago. Not a sniff of it since. I’ll never ever ‘loan’ money like that again. I did actually ask for it all back when I needed it, but I got hardship stories and lies. I knew by their lifestyle that there was no real intention of paying me back.

I ended up deciding to write it off, rather than permanently chase the family member. Because I knew they’d never pay up. I never told them that, obviously. They still alternately have sob stories / boast of trips away on Facebook, and fancy outings. I just say nothing and will never ever, ever, get involved again. No matter what the sob story is. Or the ‘promises’.

It is indeed an expensive lesson OP. And I’ll never trust either party again. And what others have said is so true: I’ve since found out that the friend and family member have done the sob story to others, ‘borrowed’ from them, and not paid it back. Whilst posting on Facebook re holidays / shopping / outings.

Alibaba

In my opinion even to go to a solicitor and take the case to court the law is not on your side.

These people are nothing other than FRAUDSTERS and should be treated as such.

I mentioned my own story a few posts back , €2000 'borrowed' by somebody.

Contemplating solicitor but maybe throwing good money after bad.

punisher5112

Alibaba wrote: »

In my opinion even to go to a solicitor and take the case to court the law is not on your side.

These people are nothing other than FRAUDSTERS and should be treated as such.

I mentioned my own story a few posts back , €2000 'borrowed' by somebody.

Contemplating solicitor but maybe throwing good money after bad.

If you can prove it then you can get a court order but even with that it's extremely difficult if they stop paying if they do it at all.

Wexford96

Managed to get half of the debt back of this person. Came on extremely heavy about medical expenses for a family member. Managed to frighten her into coughing up half on the spot.
She promises to give balance at end of month.

rushfan

Wexford96 wrote:

Managed to get half of the debt back of this person. Came on extremely heavy about medical expenses for a family member. Managed to frighten her into coughing up half on the spot. She promises to give balance at end of month.

Excuse the cynicism, but did she say which month??????

punisher5112

Wow I'm very surprised Wexford

rainbowtrout

Wexford96 wrote: »

Managed to get half of the debt back of this person. Came on extremely heavy about medical expenses for a family member. Managed to frighten her into coughing up half on the spot.
She promises to give balance at end of month.

Fair play to you for getting half of it back and I hope you get the rest back. More than anything it does show that’s she’s more than capable of paying you back but was choosing not to, and that she didn’t need the top up she asked for either.

sbsquarepants

Many years back I "loaned" and ex 3.5k for, I kid you not, a boob job.
Gave me a bulshít story about waiting on a cheque to clear and she'd pay me back inside a week.

Not so much as a sighting of either the money or the tits since

Unanimous

Wexford96 wrote: »

Turning down this 250 will mean a "falling out" and her storming away, and I'll never see her of the 500 balance again. It's like she's using that 500 as collateral or something?
How can I not give the 250 AND get my original 500 back?
I know Im soft, and dont need anyone here to tell me that.
Thanks for replies above.

Storm away to where!? Girl press her for your money (I don't mean f

Wexford96

rushfan wrote: »

Wexford96 wrote:

Managed to get half of the debt back of this person. Came on extremely heavy about medical expenses for a family member. Managed to frighten her into coughing up half on the spot. She promises to give balance at end of month.

Excuse the cynicism, but did she say which month??????

No need to excuse yourself. 
She said this month. Let's see if it materialises.

cbyrd

My Nana gave me a piece of advice when I was about 8
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
Only give away what you don't expect back and only gamble with money you don't need..

homerjay2005

Wexford96 wrote: »

I've had a work colleage borrow from me. It was 1000 pounds and this was 12 months ago. Ive managed to get it down to 500, but today she asked for 250 more and that she'll pay the whole amount back in a few weeks when she is sorted out.
Over the last year, I've had to work hard to get some of the money back. She always has some drama going on meaning she's always broke. 
Can I believe that she might give me back the whole amount if I help her this time?
Or has she 0 respect for me and is just giving me another bad excuse.
Thank you

have you written proof that she owes you 500euro? you could take a claim against her if she doesnt pay you.

splinter65

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Many years back I "loaned" and ex 3.5k for, I kid you not, a boob job.
Gave me a bulshít story about waiting on a cheque to clear and she'd pay me back inside a week.

Not so much as a sighting of either the money or the tits since

I think I’m actually related by marriage to your ex. 20 years ago or so?

waffleman

Why would anyone give out a loan of 1000s of euro?

Daft carry on.

punisher5112

waffleman wrote: »

Why would anyone give out a loan of 1000s of euro?

Daft carry on.

Because some people are extremely good at manipulation or sob stories and 9 times out of 10 will pull on ones heart strings.

They prey on others kindness and willingness to help.

It can happen very easily but fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me.....

justfillmein

waffleman wrote: »

Why would anyone give out a loan of 1000s of euro?

Daft carry on.

you don't lend 1000's of euro's to aul Joan in no:16 around the corner.

it's usually given to family or (so called)friends.
people you are trying to help out, and who you think you can trust.

Appledreams15

justfillmein wrote: »

waffleman wrote: »

Why would anyone give out a loan of 1000s of euro?

Daft carry on.

you don't lend 1000's of euro's to aul Joan in no:16 around the corner.

it's usually given to family or (so called)friends.
people you are trying to help out, and who you think you can trust.

I don't think I would give 50 euro to a friend. I don't loan money!

justfillmein

I like lending out money, always have done.
never had an issue helping someone out like that.
and there have been plenty of times I've asked for money loans myself too.

unfortunately I lent a lot of money out not too long ago and it didn't go to plan.
I hate that it has left me reconsidering how I'll lend now, but that's where I'm at now.
I'd only lend to family, and I'd be worse than a bank for asking questions on how the money would be repaid!

sbsquarepants

splinter65 wrote: »

I think I’m actually related by marriage to your ex. 20 years ago or so?

It's a possibility, she did get married a few years back - "loan" would be around 15 or 16 years ago.

Tell her I want my tits back!;)

italodisco

Easy way to get your money back, tell her that you're going to sell the debt to a local dodgy loan shark and that 500 will probably be upped to 1k by them.

If she still ain't playing ball then go ahead and do just that.