Match Play Horror Stories

Wombatman

Second hand story. Could be an urban myth.

Two good young land playing two older lads at a fairly high level.

One of the young lads lags a very long putt up to three feet. One of the opposition players says something along the lines of 'That's good' and the partner of the lagger picks the ball up.

The guy says he was commenting that they putt was good and that the young lad made a mistake in picking up the ball!

Sultan_of_Ping

ShriekingSheet wrote: »

I played a match against a young guy who just flat out didn’t give any putts - silent even when the ball was a couple of inches away.

Thought he might have been unaware you could give putts but subsequently found out that that wasn’t the case (and I was giving him putts).

Would like to say I sucked it up but it did piss me off. Lost the match n all.

Another one I’d say is beware playing last in your series of matches, eg: 5th in Senior Cup. Have come across a couple of dog slow players who are putt their on purpose by their team managers. In fairness, it’s not for any great competitive advantage, but if they put him in the middle the rest of the games would be held up. I ended up 4 holes behind the penultimate match last time it happened.

I've played in matchplay where it was agreed in advance everything would be putted out......not for unsporting reasons, more to make sure there were no misunderstandings over anything being given or not.

Last year I played in a match against another club where one of the guys always pulled the Velcro on his glove on my downswing. However, he was known for it and I'd been warned to expect it so it was no big deal.

The worst I ever saw was a guy who had an utter meltdown at his partner for failing to hole a slippery enough six footer on the last hole to hand us a win. It was a foursomes and I felt like reminding him of the great escapes his partner had gotten them out of following some of his more erratic drives.

Corkblowin

Posted this one before

Played a club matchplay a loooong time ago - I was young & cocky playing off 4, he was about 45 off 15 & it was one of those days where all was going well for me combined with him having a mare.

Anyway was 4 up playing 12 & he hit one into an area with loads of little shrubs & bushes, but wasn't GUR or anything. Of course his ball ended up right in front of one meaning he'd have to hit through it to get to the green. He tried to get relief but even he knew it wasn't on so I left him to it and wandered off to my ball about 20 yards away to his left. He took a few vigorous practise swings & next thing I see this little bush, root still attached, flying through the air & landing beside me!!!!

I just burst out laughing. He turned to me & shouted 'I took a fookin practise swing, am I not fookin allowed do that now!'. I just told him to carry on & don't mind me- would be a different story in a close match but he was well beaten & he knew it. Still makes me laugh picturing this poor plant arcing through the air!!!!

CalamariFritti

Played a match against a seasoned club member. I was newish and off 18 or so at the time and he gave me 4 or 5 shots. I was actually pretty bad too, high weak cuts and I had no other shot. I couldn't reach the long par 4s or any of the par 5s.
But I played with it and was actually quite decent from a 100 in. So I gave myself a few makeable putts for par and made a couple of those. On our par 4 index 1, coming to the final stretch, I do the same and actually stick it pretty close from about 60, 70 metres having a 4 footer for par. He was in the sh1t right off the green in 2 and I had a shot on him on that hole.
Next he loses it and starts rambling that no high handicapper should be able to play like this. He fails to hack it out off the cabbage and throws his club across the green. He was insufferable for the remaining holes.
I took the next 2 holes and beat him comfortably. Avoided him like the plague since and haven't seen him in years.

Seve OB

rickis tache wrote: »

Did you report him? Clown should of been kicked out of the club for that sort of carry on.

TitianGerm wrote: »

Why didn't you report him? I hate seeing pitchmarks on the green but I'd go ballistic if I saw someone bury their club in the green.

Who said I didn’t report him? As I said he wouldn’t even come into the clubhouse after, just jumped in his car and headed off. I went in to the director of golf and reported my win (which I hate doing as I feel the looser should do this) and I let him know of all the misdemeanors. Apparently he was known for it and he had been warned before. I think a final warning was coming his way, but I never bothered finding out how it went and I will never play with him again.

billy3sheets

Most opponents I've ever had have been pretty decent, even to the point of forewarning me when I was about to break a rule. This happened in a fourballl match against a club where I was a former member. They conceded a long putt to me so I wouldn't give a line advantage to my partner who was still in contention on the hole. I wanted to putt it anyway for practice but they warned me the hole would be lost if I did. I heeded them and picked up - found out later they were absolutely right.

What's the story though with claiming a hole under a rule breach? Do both sides have to agree at that point? What if I mistakenly claim a hole - can it be reclaimed if conceded?

Russman

billy3sheets wrote: »

Most opponents I've ever had have been pretty decent, even to the point of forewarning me when I was about to break a rule. This happened in a fourballl match against a club where I was a former member. They conceded a long putt to me so I wouldn't give a line advantage to my partner who was still in contention on the hole. I wanted to putt it anyway for practice but they warned me the hole would be lost if I did. I heeded them and picked up - found out later they were absolutely right.

What's the story though with claiming a hole under a rule breach? Do both sides have to agree at that point? What if I mistakenly claim a hole - can it be reclaimed if conceded?

I'd also have to say that the vast, vast majority of opponents I've had have been sound. We've pretty much always gone inside and had a drink afterwards, win or lose.

As for claiming a hole - as far as I know in matchplay you need to make your claim before you tee off the next hole, otherwise its too late. Open to correction on that.

Corkblowin

CalamariFritti wrote: »

Played a match against a seasoned club member. I was newish and off 18 or so at the time and he gave me 4 or 5 shots. I was actually pretty bad too, high weak cuts and I had no other shot. I couldn't reach the long par 4s or any of the par 5s.
But I played with it and was actually quite decent from a 100 in. So I gave myself a few makeable putts for par and made a couple of those. On our par 4 index 1, coming to the final stretch, I do the same and actually stick it pretty close from about 60, 70 metres having a 4 footer for par. He was in the sh1t right off the green in 2 and I had a shot on him on that hole.
Next he loses it and starts rambling that no high handicapper should be able to play like this. He fails to hack it out off the cabbage and throws his club across the green. He was insufferable for the remaining holes.
I took the next 2 holes and beat him comfortably. Avoided him like the plague since and haven't seen him in years.

Thats the way to win at matchplay - play with the game you have on the day not the game you'd like to have - make your opponent work to win a hole.

I've had it from the other side, guys moaning that the back tees give too much of an advantage to lower handicaps and its unfair on the higher lads......so you want full difference in handicap and forward tees? gerrup outta dat!

Seve OB

Russman wrote: »

As for claiming a hole - as far as I know in matchplay you need to make your claim before you tee off the next hole, otherwise its too late. Open to correction on that.

Yea I think that is actually correct. You can dispute a hole there and then to get clarification when match is over. Essentially playing the remaining holes with 2 possible scorelines in the running.

HighLine

Reading some of the comments on here makes me feel like I'm lucky for never having experienced any bad behavior during any of my matches (inter-club or club matches). Although I have witnessed an inter-club match decided on claiming a player, who was asked to mark his ball off the green, had cleaned his ball in the process.

It's fairly simple for me, who ever gets the ball into the hole in the least amount of strokes wins. All these stories of lads trying to get into their opponent's head with tactics goes against the very spirit of the game.

dball

great thread- best read in a long time on boards.

played in a match-play a few years ago against a pair of codgers (well one oul codger and a young fella who was a MP virgin)
1st hole we won -
2nd hole we noticed one of our opponents (codger fella) walking on OUR putting line and said nothing out loud - just smiles.
happened again on the 3rd green so it was brought up verbally - yer man says sorry.

On the fourth green he does it again as blatantly as - now it was a hot day - the greens were rock hard and it made feck all difference.
You could see him walking towards our line and he makes a kind of half step to make sure he steps on our putting line.

I say this because I go out of my way when on a green and walking over other players lines (you know that funny half stride kind of jumpy leap you make when avoiding a putting line)

Anyway my partner pipes up and tells yer man that he was asked on a previous green to watch his step and now he does it again. My partner says if he does it once more we are claiming the hole.

Needless to say they lost the match on the 14th and we had them from the fourth hole on the back foot i guess!

moycullen14

Club matchplay a couple of years ago against a pair of high(ish) handicappers.
All going swimmingly, a couple up after 7 or 8 holes.

Then the farting starts. One of them must have been on the sauce the night before, washed down with a couple of vindaloos. Well, he proceeded to fart his way around the course. Not mild, restrained ones; Oh no, massive effort going into these emissions, you could have heard them in the clubhouse.

Crazy thing was his partner didn't seem to notice, he must have been deaf. I wouldn't have gone within 10 yards of him. Anyway, the expected happens, we collapse - just can't concentrate, waiting for the next explosion. They win with a few holes to spare. I couldn't wait to get away in case he - literally - sh*t the course.

Don't know if it was deliberate or not but it was the most effective piece of gamemanship I ever came across. As P Flynn would say, 'Try it sometime'

billy3sheets

HighLine wrote: »

Re

It's fairly simple for me, who ever gets the ball into the hole in the least amount of strokes wins.

Actually, this is not quite true! And a lesson I learned the hard way.
It should read "whoever gets the ball into the hole in the least amount of strokes with their handicap wins. "

I picked up my ball thinking I'd lost a hole only to realise I had a shot on it and would have halved.
Know when you or your opponent has a shot on the hole and count the strokes!

BraveDonut

Played in a semi final against a 'big' club a few years back on the away team.
I manage to hole the final putt to win the tie.
Everybody heads in for showers, etc. and to get ready for dinner.
Our hosts decided to all go into the members bar and leave our whole team sitting in the visitors.
When dinner was ready they came out to the restaurant and only stayed at the table long enough to eat one course and then all of the fooked off back into the members bar.
I thought this was very bad form.

FixdePitchmark

BraveDonut wrote: »

Played in a semi final against a 'big' club a few years back on the away team.
I manage to hole the final putt to win the tie.
Everybody heads in for showers, etc. and to get ready for dinner.
Our hosts decided to all go into the members bar and leave our whole team sitting in the visitors.
When dinner was ready they came out to the restaurant and only stayed at the table long enough to eat one course and then all of the fooked off back into the members bar.
I thought this was very bad form.

That is disgraceful.

members bar - but you should be able to invite people in.

And even if not for a major interclub game should be invited in as the exception.

fred funk }{

FixdePitchmark wrote: »

That is disgraceful.

members bar - but you should be able to invite people in.

And even if not for a major interclub game should be invited in as the exception.

We should be beyond that sh1te at this stage TBH.

diomed

backspin. wrote: »

Foot wedge being used.

I prefer the term "leather wedge"
Years back I was playing with someone in foursomes (my partner) who used it.
I was shocked. Every chance I got I put my shots into bunkers :pac:

ridonkulous

FixdePitchmark wrote: »

That is disgraceful.

members bar - but you should be able to invite people in.

And even if not for a major interclub game should be invited in as the exception.

You are, they were just being ****.

Sultan_of_Ping

diomed wrote: »

I prefer the term "leather wedge"
Years back I was playing with someone in foursomes (my partner) who used it.
I was shocked. Every chance I got I put my shots into bunkers :pac:

Didn't happen in my match but a few years playing in a home fixture I heard that one of the opposition had taken to stamping the grass down behind his ball any time he was in the rough.......and was blatant about it. He did it a couple of times before one of our pair mentioned that was he was doing was contrary to the rules. He apologised and seemed genuinely shocked to be told that.

ChippingSodbury

fred funk }{ wrote: »

We should be beyond that sh1te at this stage TBH.

You'd think so but unfortunately not in some places. Tradition is probably the worst word in golf...

stockdam

In my younger days I played a lot of matchplay.
Firstly a comment about gimmes. I used to be a very good putter but I think that getting too many gimmes messed that up. I went through a stage of not being able to hole 2 foot putts in strokeplay under pressure as I had got out of the habit. Most people knew how good I was a putting so they gave me lots of short putts and then one day I got the yipps.
I have played with two people who were cheats.
One was a high handicapper and used to hit the ball into knee high rough. He would walk round and round in circles looking for his ball (how did he know that it was within a 2 foot radius). He'd then bend down and pick up his ball to confirm it was his (no mark on his ball) and then would proceed to take a wood out of the long grass. Of course what he was doing was tramping the grass down until he had a very good lie, then he would take a ball out of his pocket and use that one ("found it") and then the worst thing was that he "replaced" his ball on top of a small tee. The guy could barely hit the ball 150 yards from the fairway but he could hit his best shots out of rough that I would have struggled to get a wedge onto. It was comical when I saw what he was doing.......bit sad though.
The 2nd person was a scratch golfer who was a snide. He used to steal balls out of peoples' bags in the locker rooms (as a juvenille I didn't have a locker and most of may new balls went missing). When I played this guy he would spit at my ball when I was teeing up. That never put me off though as I could play with a brass-band playing full bore. The bit that did get me though was how he marked the ball on the green. He was a "magician" and I don't mean that he was amazing but he had learnt the act of palming the ball. He would place his hand over the ball and move it forwards three inches whilst lifting it and placing a marker on the green in one movement. He would then do the same thing just before his putt to make sure "his ball was clean". He could easily move the marker forwards 6 inches in two ball marking movements. So instead of clearly marking the ball and lifting it, he would lift and mark at the same time whilst moving his hand in a forwards and upwards movement. It's hard to explain but it was so obvious once you saw it. Most people don't really watch their opponent marking the ball. When I called him up on it then he would call me a liar. Anyway, I rarely played against the guy. He still owes me £75 to this day. A guy with great talent but such a twat,

WHIP IT!

stockdam wrote: »

In my younger days I played a lot of matchplay.
Firstly a comment about gimmes. I used to be a very good putter but I think that getting too many gimmes messed that up. I went through a stage of not being able to hole 2 foot putts in strokeplay under pressure as I had got out of the habit. Most people knew how good I was a putting so they gave me lots of short putts and then one day I got the yipps.
I have played with two people who were cheats.
One was a high handicapper and used to hit the ball into knee high rough. He would walk round and round in circles looking for his ball (how did he know that it was within a 2 foot radius). He'd then bend down and pick up his ball to confirm it was his (no mark on his ball) and then would proceed to take a wood out of the long grass. Of course what he was doing was tramping the grass down until he had a very good lie, then he would take a ball out of his pocket and use that one ("found it") and then the worst thing was that he "replaced" his ball on top of a small tee. The guy could barely hit the ball 150 yards from the fairway but he could hit his best shots out of rough that I would have struggled to get a wedge onto. It's was comical when I saw what he was doing.......bit sad though.
The 2nd person was a scratch golfer who was a snide. He used to steal balls out of people's bags in the locker rooms (as a juvenille I didn't have a locker and most of may new balls went missing). When I played this guy he would spit at my ball when I was teeing up. That never put me off though as I could play with a brass-band playing full bore. The bit that did get me though was how he marked the ball on the green. He was a "magician" and I don't mean that he was amazing but he had learnt the act of palming the ball. He would place his hand over the ball and move it forwards three inches whilst lifting it and placing a marker on the green in one movement. He would then do the same thing just before his putt to make sure "his ball was clean". He could easily move the marker forwards 6 inches in two ball marking movements. So instead of clearly marking the ball and lifting it, he would lift and mark at the same time whilst moving his hand in a forwards and upwards movement. It's hard to explain but it was so obvious once you saw it. Most people don't really watch their opponent marking the ball. When I called him up on it then he would call me a liar. Anyway, I rarely played against the guy. He still owes me £75 to this day. A guy with great talent but such a twat,

Where the f*ck did you play golf?? :eek::D

Seve OB

What does he owe you money for?

ShriekingSheet

stockdam wrote: »

he would spit at my ball when I was teeing up.

And the winner of the thread is...

Holy f*ck. That is incredible stuff.

Rikand

Seve OB wrote: »

What does he owe you money for?

The prize money I imagine

Dayor Knight

moycullen14 wrote: »

Club matchplay a couple of years ago against a pair of high(ish) handicappers.
All going swimmingly, a couple up after 7 or 8 holes.

Then the farting starts. One of them must have been on the sauce the night before, washed down with a couple of vindaloos. Well, he proceeded to fart his way around the course. Not mild, restrained ones; Oh no, massive effort going into these emissions, you could have heard them in the clubhouse.

Crazy thing was his partner didn't seem to notice, he must have been deaf. I wouldn't have gone within 10 yards of him. Anyway, the expected happens, we collapse - just can't concentrate, waiting for the next explosion. They win with a few holes to spare. I couldn't wait to get away in case he - literally - sh*t the course.

Don't know if it was deliberate or not but it was the most effective piece of gamemanship I ever came across. As P Flynn would say, 'Try it sometime'

Lol moment there. 😂

Break80

Keep them coming lads.
I am sore from laughter at some of the stories.
Best thread in years.

Rikand

I can't tell some my best ones as i cant describe them without running the risk of slander accusations

BigChap1759

Playing 4BBB interclub I realised on the 3rd fairway that I hadn’t removed a club I had been trialing on the range beforehand so had15 clubs in the bag.......instantly went to 3 down in match

kiers47

BigChap1759 wrote: »

Playing 4BBB interclub I realised on the 3rd fairway that I hadn’t removed a club I had been trialing on the range beforehand so had15 clubs in the bag.......instantly went to 3 down in match

Is the maximum amount of holes that you can lose not 2? Or at least that was my understanding of the rule.