Children not invited.

Sinister Kid

Hi guys,

My best mate is getting married this summer, she is having a strict no-kids policy with the exception of her partners eldest nephew who will be 9 (& is a really well behaved kid)

She has made this very clear numerous times to a certain member of her partners family that kids are not invited but this person will not let it drop. Her partner has said it numerous times to him too. This family member has two young kids both under 5 & from what I can gather, they are a bit of a handful.

The hotel have updated her with a list of people that have booked their hotel room, on it she can see he has booked a room for two nights for two adults & two kids. She is very pissed off at this stage.

Any advice on how to deal with this?

Bacchus

It's quite possible that they have arranged a childminder to keep the children away from the ceremony and reception, or that they will take turns to look after them. Maybe it's just not possible for them to arrange suitable care for their kids while they go away for a day & night. Is that a factor? Not everyone has family nearby to just leave their kids behind. On the other hand, it could be the case that they're pulling a fast one and hoping it'll end up a case of "well they're here now" on the day. Definitely worth having a conversation with them about it. Even if their intention is that someone will be minding them and they won't interfere with the day, how practical is that in reality.

I think also they've set themselves up to be open to disagreements by allowing one nephew to go. I think these kind of bans only really work well if it's a blanket, no exception ban. The exception to that of course being bringing your own kids, if you have them. But in that case, you're probably more open to allowing kids in the first place.

I have kids, we didn’t invite kids to our wedding.
Everyone said they were happy with the night off from their kids

I’m going to a wedding soon, kids not invited, I’m looking forward to the night away too. Parents need a break and a wedding is the best time to pull the babysitter card

I don’t think this is a case of bridezilla.

eeguy

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

[Deleted post]

What the actual hell are you talking about?
I'd have no problem with a no children wedding. The last thing you want is little Padraig puking his guts or kids crying and whinging.

All I'd say is if they're dead set on bringing their kids, just leave them to it. Some people are just blind and pigheaded when it comes to children and best to leave them at it. If the children start acting up, I'd be straight onto the parents to sort it out or remove them. They were told not to bring children and they'll have to deal with the responsibility of them.

Bacchus

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

[Deleted post]

Jesus, don't hold back anyway

It's a reasonable enough request to not have kids at a wedding. It's an event where adults spend much of the day drinking and goes on into the wee hours. I'm all in favour of kids at a wedding but I can see the counter-argument. The couple in question should just accept the brides wishes and either a) decline the invite (with less cursing), or b) find alternative childcare and go.

As I mentioned though, the mistake the bride made was allowing one nephew to go. You can have one rule for one child and another for other children.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

If she doesn't want children at her wedding, that's fair enough in my opinion. Can that couple not organize a babysitter for their 2 kids for the day, or will no one take them?!

coolisin

We had a strict no kids at our wedding, as we wanted our friends etc who did to have an evening off.

Only kids that we invited where our nieces and nephews who we arranged a second function room for.

Kids can if not behaved ruin a wedding and people being drunk you’d be worried about someone nearly falling over them running around.

Now to the OP perhaps the parents have arranged a babysitter in the hotel and the kids are staying in the room.

SusieBlue

If the couple aren't inviting children its extremely pushy and rude of them to keep insisting their kids come. If they are that adamant they won't go without their kids they should just politely decline the invitation and not go at all.
Bringing uninvited children against the wishes of the bride and groom is disgraceful behaviour. I normally hate the saying, but its "their day, their way". If the relatives don't like that, they aren't obliged to attend.

I'd also be absolutely fuming at this and seeing as they've been so forward, I'd have no problem ringing and asking what the story is. Children or not, bringing uninvited guests is not ok and they shouldn't get away with it. The bride and groom shouldn't have to give into these demands at all.

I absolutely do not think there's anything Bridezilla about being upset over uninvited guests attending her wedding.

seamus

At the end of the day, sometimes people are assholes about it and will just bring the kids. Same thing happened at my brother's wedding. Granted the kids were younger, but there were still some odd looks from the other guests.
Mainly the people who weren't allowed bring kids were a bit pissed off, but it was made known that these people brought their kids without prompting.

Personally cannot understand why anyone would insist on bringing their kids. Having to mind your kids at a wedding is a pain in the hole. Leave them with babysitters and take the night off.

Any road, my suggestion would be that the partner makes it clear that the children will not be included on the table plan and will not have meals ordered for them. That's about all he can do. The couple may be planning on hiring a babysitter, you don't know.

You can also try guilt them about it. One of my cousin's wives was very insistent, practically begging me to include their daughter. I told I had to insist on not including her, as it would be unfair on all of the other people who wanted to bring their child but didn't. So they decided not to come to the wedding at all rather than be without their daughter. That's who they are, we didn't fall out about it.

But some people won't respond to guilt, they will bring the kids and fnck everyone else. Your friend has to try not make a big song and dance about it, it's not worth creating a family split over. But it should be made clear that this couple did it off their own bat. Maybe even get the child's grandmother involved to add some weight?

fitzparker

We have a child and have been to weddings where both kids were invited and not invited, the one they were at my partner and I didnt drink as all attention was on said child, got dangerous as others start drinking, inevitable glasses fell and broke. it's really hard to enjoy and we found it stressful as they can go missing in room with 150 people.

We are due to get married next year, 5 kids will be going as they are close to us be involved in wedding, all other kids will not and that's tough sh1t. by 9pm all kids including our own will be gone, I will not have my kids (one on the way) surrounded by drunken people.

What is the difference to a night out? do they bring their kids to that aswell?

uptherebels

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

Seen it before myself.bride wanted all eyes on her and no kids taking from her attention seeking.life is a long road and it will beat manners into her at some stage.

As someone who spent years working in a hotel doing weddings, Irish children are left run riot around the place.
Its funny when you are trying to carry large trays of food into a packed ballroom when there are kids running around the place, crawling under tables and chairs.
Even had one lady give me grief for coming within a couple of feet of her young kid that she followed around the ballroom as it ran, never occurred to her to take control of it.
This is before we get to people having less than one year old kids in buggies beside the dj speakers at 2 in the morning.
There are plenty of reasons for not inviting children to any social occasion not just weddings, but never have I seen a bride take issue with children taking her attention:rolleyes: and that's out of experiencing 200+ weddings.

eviltwin

Their choice to have a child free do and nothing wrong with it.

But can you really call it a child free event if a child has been invited? It's not very consistent is it?

That said I feel sorry for the kid who is going, won't be much fun for him being the only child.

uck51js9zml2yt

A family member had a wedding with no kids.
We went to the ceremony and photos and left to go for a meal with the kids before we went home.

From all accounts it was a nice wedding.
We had kids at our wedding.

LirW

We were invited to a wedding in Belfast when our daughter was 4 months old. We had a chat with the couple and they said it's no problem bringing kids since a lot of people are travelling from all around the world and have to take their kids with them. In the end it was only our baby and another 1,5 year old.
I 'd try not to bring mine but sometimes you can't find a minder or the circumstances ( we have only my partners parent's and they live 1,5 hours away by car) are either bring the kid or decline. Luckily a lot of hotels have lists of babysitters they used so that could well be an option.
Lots of hotels have a rule in place anyway that kids need to be gone at 9 latest.
Edit: I left the wedding with the baby at 8 because it was the right time then.

And last but not least: If you invite kids it's difficult to draw the line really. Some venues charge a full price for kids from a certain age and kids plates are not particularly cheap either. So your guest number could very well turn from 80 to 100 when people would just bring their kids and in the end the couple foots the bill. I do understand that you'd rather have a no-kids policy in that case.
At the end of the day it's the couples day and if they choose no kids, it's up to them. Instead of hating on the couple how about just seeing it from the logistical side.

Doctors room ghost

Hitman3000 wrote: »

So you totally disagree with respecting the wishes of someone who extends an invitation to their wedding. Ok so. The family member who wants their kids there has been told no, the option is don't go or have the kids minded. It's someone else's wedding day.

No I don’t disagree with her wishes. If I was the family members with kids who weren’t invited I wouldn’t have booked the hotel room disrespecting bridezillas wishes.id be not going simple as.this would be confirmed with a can’t attend reply and she would see I hadn’t booked into the room when she did her next cia room check.
I just don’t agree with her setting terms and conditions if you can attend or not.everyone is different.what would you do if you were a single mother with a child and nobody available to mind them?

The Specialist

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

What would you do if you were a single mother with a child and nobody available to mind them?

That's not a problem for the bride/groom to care in the slightest about - you got an invite and if you can't get someone to mind your kids then you can't go, simple as that. Do you know how much a wedding actually costs? They have every right to dictate what they do or don't want at it.

Hitman3000

Doctors room ghost wrote:

No I don’t disagree with her wishes. If I was the family members with kids who weren’t invited I wouldn’t have booked the hotel room disrespecting bridezillas wishes.id be not going simple as.this would be confirmed with a can’t attend reply and she would see I hadn’t booked into the room when she did her next cia room check. I just don’t agree with her setting terms and conditions if you can attend or not.everyone is different.what would you do if you were a single mother with a child and nobody available to mind them?

All invitations are subject to conditions. Don't like them, refuse said invitation. Nothing too difficult in a refusal just omitt the necessity to be ignorant when declining.

eviltwin

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

I just don’t agree with her setting terms and conditions if you can attend or not.everyone is different.what would you do if you were a single mother with a child and nobody available to mind them?

That's not the bride and grooms problem

Hannibal_Smith

I think it's really rude to bring your kids anyway when they haven't been invited unless, as someone else said, they've someone organised to look after them. Maybe they plan on going to the ceremony and will bring the kids to the hotel later because no one will take them overnight?

At the end of the day, if the guest goes ahead and brings the kids to the full day anyway, there will be no food for them. The seating plan will not have made room for them, it's going to be up to the parents to decide what to do. And theyll end up showing themselves up.

I had one strict rule only on my wedding day, don't come to me with your sh*te, coz I'm going to have a ball of a day! :pac:

LirW

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

No I don’t disagree with her wishes. If I was the family members with kids who weren’t invited I wouldn’t have booked the hotel room disrespecting bridezillas wishes.id be not going simple as.this would be confirmed with a can’t attend reply and she would see I hadn’t booked into the room when she did her next cia room check.
I just don’t agree with her setting terms and conditions if you can attend or not.everyone is different.what would you do if you were a single mother with a child and nobody available to mind them?

There can be massive costs involved inviting kids, plus where do you draw the line? Your numbers could explode by it and they have to leave at a certain time again.
Instead of just shooting at the bride, how about seeing it solely from a planning side?
Maybe she knows plenty of kids in the family that would just run riot?

If you're having kids and they can't be minded you can certainly get onto the couple and explain the situation. But at the end of the day they have their reasons for it and if the T&Cs aren't to your taste, you simply decline and don't go into a frenzy over it. Chill.

Hitman3000

Doctors room ghost wrote:

.what would you do if you were a single mother with a child and nobody available to mind them?

Do you really need the obvious stated? Invitation states no children, single mum has no minder therefore she doesn't go. It couldn't be simpler to comprehend.

_Dara_

eviltwin wrote: »

Their choice to have a child free do and nothing wrong with it.

But can you really call it a child free event if a child has been invited? It's not very consistent is it?

That said I feel sorry for the kid who is going, won't be much fun for him being the only child.

I think you can. Inviting one or two children is the exception to the rule. Most people will understand that it’s because it’s a child or children who are very close to the marrying couple. That’s different from the cousin you see infrequently bringing her offspring.

Sinister Kid

The couple are very easy going & the bride is far from a bridezilla.
Over the years they have been to enough weddings to know that they do not want kids at their own wedding... plain & simple.
The nephew that is going is the page boy, he will only be there till after the dinner & will be picked up by his granny.

I would be shocked if the couple in question have made arrangements for a sitter. I suspect the kids will be left to run about & make as much noise as they like till eventually the elderly aunt will be stuck taking care of them.

At the end of the day, the bride & groom have made their wishes clear & this couple are completely disrespecting them.

woodchuck

Absolutely hilarious posts! Still won't thank them though

Nothing wrong at all with wanting a kid-free wedding. Maybe the couple have had bad experiences at other weddings with kids misbehaving. Maybe they had to make some tough decision regarding numbers and by cutting out the kids (who they obviously have no relationship with) it means they can invite other friends they'd actually love to have there. Who knows, but it's their choice and not an unreasonable one by any means! The guests affected can either get a babysitter for the night or decline the invitation.

Back to the topic at hand though. I think there is much that can be done OP. The guest is blatantly going against the brides wishes, but short of hiring a bouncer to deny them entry there's probably nothing much that can be done! Personally I wouldn't be too happy about the situation, but I'd just try to get on with it.

SortingYouOut

Sinister Kid wrote: »

The couple are very easy going & the bride is far from a bridezilla.
Over the years they have been to enough weddings to know that they do not want kids at their own wedding... plain & simple.
The nephew that is going is the page boy, he will only be there till after the dinner & will be picked up by his granny.

I would be shocked if the couple in question have made arrangements for a sitter. I suspect the kids will be left to run about & make as much noise as they like till eventually the elderly aunt will be stuck taking care of them.

At the end of the day, the bride & groom have made tgeir wishes clear & this couple are completely disrespecting them.

She should mention the room situation to the guest and reiterate the point that no children have been invited.

You wouldn't bring an adult that wasn't invited so I don't see why the same shouldn't apply for children? If they can't arrange someone to look after them, that's tough, they can't go themselves. That's what they signed up for.

_Dara_

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

No I don’t disagree with her wishes. If I was the family members with kids who weren’t invited I wouldn’t have booked the hotel room disrespecting bridezillas wishes.id be not going simple as.this would be confirmed with a can’t attend reply and she would see I hadn’t booked into the room when she did her next cia room check.
I just don’t agree with her setting terms and conditions if you can attend or not.everyone is different.what would you do if you were a single mother with a child and nobody available to mind them?

The couple very much have the right to do so. Note that I said the couple. There’s no indiction that this is just the bride’s wishes. Child-free weddings are very common. Your OTT responses are odd, like as if you think child-free weddings are something unusual.

Daisy 55

I'd be very unhappy if I thought the hotel were discussing my room booking though? Surely that's between the hotel and the hotel guests? Presume the bride isn't paying for the room?

Neyite

Any wedding I've been at has been family kids only - nieces and nephews of the bridge and groom.

The vast majority of those kids got shunted off to babysitters after the speeches and before the serious session began. It's an all or nothing rule really.

If it's a case of nephew #1 going and nephews #2 & #3 not then the guest might be able to argue their case on a technicality and have a point but if it's a case of cousin of groom bringing their children then that's taking the piss.

What should the bride do about it? Nothing. It's family from the grooms side causing havoc so he should be the one to resolve it, to be firm with his family member and to make sure to impose any rules the couple have decided on. How bossy is the Mother of the Groom? She could help him resolve it. But the Bride should steer well clear of any discussions.

Bacchus

Daisy 55 wrote: »

I'd be very unhappy if I thought the hotel were discussing my room booking though? Surely that's between the hotel and the hotel guests? Presume the bride isn't paying for the room?

I assume the couple booked using the CODE provided to them by the B&G. It's very common for hotels to block off X amount of rooms for the guests (often at a discounted rate). I don't see the issue with the B&G discussing or reviewing bookings made using the code with the hotel.

Bacchus

Neyite wrote: »

If it's a case of nephew #1 going and nephews #2 & #3 not then the guest might be able to argue their case on a technicality and have a point but if it's a case of cousin of groom bringing their children then that's taking the piss.

I had this same query above but the OP since clarified that the invited child is the page boy and will be leaving after the meal. In that case it is a reasonable exception.

Sinister Kid

Daisy 55 wrote: »

I'd be very unhappy if I thought the hotel were discussing my room booking though? Surely that's between the hotel and the hotel guests? Presume the bride isn't paying for the room?

It wasn't discussed, it was in the update between the hotel & the B&G, any guest booked using the special wedding rate is listed. There is only 30 rooms at the lower rate, it shows who has booked & how many rooms are left. This isnt something she went looking for.

_Dara_

Bacchus wrote: »

I had this same query above but the OP since clarified that the invited child is the page boy and will be leaving after the meal. In that case it is a reasonable exception.

I think there being a handful of children who are close to the couple at the whole day isn’t unreasonable either. They’re exceptions. Couples just don’t want their weddings to be playgrounds. Surely people would understand? And staying until after the meal is more than half the day. What’s a few more hours and why would that then make it unacceptable?

scarepanda

Personally, i prefer a wedding with kids allowed as they are generally a lot more relaxed and less pretentious. However, their day, their rules.

I don't buy the excuse for having a strict no kids policy as allowing the parents the day off, they are adults, surely they can decide whether to bring the kids or not. We invited kids to our wedding and left it up the the parents to decide if they wanted to bring them or not. None of our friends decided to bring their kids, but family did (although some of them had a role in the ceremony itself). However I wouldn't bring my child into a wedding, as a guest, if she wasn't named on the invitation. As a breastfeeding mother we have brought our daughter to weddings since she arrived, but always with a baby sitter in tow to look after her. She has made a brief appearance at 2 weddings at the very end of the ceremony/drinks reception, because friends we hadn't seen in a while were there and wanted to see her.

I think the groom (because it's his side of the family) needs to find out what the plans are for the kids that day. Does the couple have to travel for the wedding? Is it possible that they have a sitter booked so that they can attend the wedding, and can also do something with the kids the following day?

GingerLily

scarepanda wrote: »

I think the groom (because it's his side of the family) needs to find out what the plans are for the kids that day. Does the couple have to travel for the wedding? Is it possible that they have a sitter booked so that they can attend the wedding, and can also do something with the kids the following day?

Agreed, the groom needs to intervene more on this one and insist no kids.

I know of a very similar situation where an aunt insisted she couldn't get a babysitter so they allowed the kids at the ceremony and booked a babysitter for afterwards. The mother never used the babysitter, the bride and groom payed for the babysitter, and the kids were up till 2am being forced to sing for the crowd by their pushy mother, it was VERY uncomfortable for guests.

okiss

I have been to a number of weddings over the years. I can understand why a couple want a child free wedding.

I have seen parents just go off drinking and chatting to people when bringing kids to weddings. The kids drink a lot of coke and then they are running or crawling under tables. Next thing they fall or have a accident. You also have the problem of staff bringing out hot food and trying to avoid the kids.
Also most kids don't want to be at a wedding.

I have friends and when their kids were small they would stay at home if they could not get a babysitter for the weddings they were invited to. For a lot of adults with small children a friends wedding can be a much needed child free brake.

In this brides case I would involve the mother of the groom or the man she is about to marry. My feeling is that the grooms mother might have some experience of the 2 under 5 years old that the mother insists on bringing. Let the grooms mother say that no children have been invited and ask her who is minding your children that day? Then just say to her I know you have all booked a room in the hotel the night of the wedding. I do hope your bring food for the children also as they wont be getting a meal at the wedding.

Better still get the groom to chat to this woman's husband and tell him that he wanted a child free wedding and ask him who is going to mind his children that day as he knows they are booked into the hotel the night of the wedding.
My feeling is that he may want to go the wedding child free but the wife could be insisting on bring her little darlings. Why can't someone in his or her family mind the kids that day/night?
Tell him that the kids will have no one to play with and the other guest are not bring their kids either so him and the wife will have to listen to them and deal with them for the day.

This woman needs to realise that the bride and groom want a child free wedding as do the rest of the guests. She either gets a baby sitter like everyone else or does not go.

baby and crumble

My 2c, we did pick and choose which kids to invite to our wedding, just like we did with the adults we chose to invite. We invited 3, 2 of which were kids of members of our bridal party, one who I am very close to and did a reading with his Mum for us. The other child of the bridal party no more wanted to come to our wedding than the man in the moon, so he stayed at home in Grannys house for the weekend and was delighted with himself. The third was a 10 year old of a couple that were travelling from England, was extremely mannerly and the family were making a bit of a holiday of it. He left to a babysitter we helped organise after dinner.

We wanted a very particular, quite 'adult' look and feel for our wedding, because it's what we wanted. We paid for everyone to be fed, watered and entertained on the day, and specifically said we didn't want presents (although we received many and they are much appreciated), nor for people to buy new outfits etc. the wedding started at 4.30, so it wasn't really child friendly. We had an idea that some of our friends who are on the burlesque and bellydance scene here would do some performances and we were right. So it wouldn't necessarily have been the most appropriate for kids, and we told the parents we had invited without kids that.

I don't see why some folks get so hot and bothered about it. I remember going to family weddings as a child and I was bored out of my tree. I appreciate not everyone can afford a full overnight babysitter or have a family member who can take a kid overnight, but that's why you get a wedding INVITATION. It's not a demand.

Zascar

I had a thread on this last year: https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=102222223 - I said no kids at my wedding and several people were seriously pissed off. However I stood firm and I'm glad I did. One guy left his wife at home and came on his own and had a great time with the lads. The other family found people to look after the kids and had a long weekend away - and had a whale of a time letting their hair down on the day and then totally relaxing the next few days without having to run around after the kids. I'm very glad I made the decision and so are they.

Anyone trying to push their kids on a bride on a groom should go get fecked. It's the couple's day - not anyone else's.

miamee

If they don't want children there and are prepared to accept that some peopkle would rather stay home with their children than attend without them, then I don't see the issue. It's an invitation not a summons - if it doesn't suit someone to go, they can decline the invitation.

With regard to the OP, I think it's best left in the hands of the groom-to-be and his immediate family to sort out.

GingerLily

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

And what’s to say a child wouldn’t enjoy a wedding.if they run riot and cause havoc that’s the parents problem.ffs we were all children once.its only lately this sh1te started.each to their own and I stand by my opinion.

I wasn't invited to weddings as a child - that was 25 years ago - this isn't new.

woodchuck

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

Personally I wouldn’t be putting terms and conditions on a wedding invite.

This isn't about terms and conditions. If the kids aren't named on the invite, the kids aren't actually invited. It's actually pretty straight forward! If I don't receive an invitation, I don't attend a wedding. Same for kids!

And while I do agree that attending weddings are a huge expense and getting a babysitter is an additional expense, the parent(s) can simply decline the wedding invitation. It's an invitation after all, not a summons.

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

if they run riot and cause havoc that’s the parents problem.

No, it becomes the bride and grooms problem if there are uninvited kids running around causing havoc. It's the parents responsibility to keep their kids under control, but evidently they don't see it as a problem if they do nothing about it.

_Dara_

Rule #1 of invitations: only the person(s) named on the invitation is invited. If the invite includes a +1, the invitee is permitted to bring ONE extra person. This is for any event and anyone who isn’t a gobdaw knows this.

Adulting 101.

The Specialist

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

Personally I wouldn’t be putting terms and conditions on a wedding invite.it can be difficult for people to arrange the day off and organize themselves to get there so why would I be making it more difficult for them and putting extra costs on them with babysitters.

Nobody is forcing anyone to go to a wedding, you get an invite and that's it. If you can't get a babysitter or it would cost too much to attend, then you simply don't go.

I don't get why you think the bride/groom should give a **** about babysitter costs or expenses - nobody is holding a gun to your head and saying you have to go and if the circumstances don't permit, then you can't attend. It is not YOUR day, and no part of the planning of a wedding revolves around what the guests want or don't want. The wedding is the bride/grooms day and they are fully entitled to have it however they want.

_Dara_

GingerLily wrote: »

I wasn't invited to weddings as a child - that was 25 years ago - this isn't new.

Yeah, I went to my first wedding at the age of 25. Children were never invited to family weddings on either side of my family.

Ghekko

Personally I cannot abide kids at a wedding. We didn't invite kids to ours. It wasn't for the sake of parents having a night off without them - it was simply because we didn't want any there. A relative of Dh asked could they bring their 2 small children and we said no. They then arrived for the evening part (having been invited to the whole day) with their kids! I don't know why they bothered as they sat with the kids on knees for the evening, and would have only got the afters cocktail sausages for their efforts after travelling over 2 hours. I wouldn't want to bring small kids to a wedding myself. We've been invited to plenty of weddings since having kids and never once expected them or wanted them to be asked. If we didn't have someone to mind them we didn't go - simple as that.

Op I think something needs to be said to this self absorbed couple regarding the hotel booking - simply asking if they have a hotel babysitter organised, or a relative coming to the hotel on the day will let the bride and groom know what their intentions are. If they say no then they need to be told yet again that children are not welcome at their wedding.

PeterParker957

_Dara_ wrote: »

Yeah, I went to my first wedding at the age of 25. Children were never invited to family weddings on either side of my family.

I only went at 11 to my cousin's cos I was bridesmaid.

1981. Oh the green and yellow ruffled HORROR!!!!!!

SortingYouOut

At the end of the day, after the meal, most weddings tend to see a lot of drinking and the craic that comes with it. A pub/club night atmosphere almost.

I think its completely reasonable not to want children in the midst of this and inviting them to a partial day just complicates things.

Doctors room ghost, why can't you accept that this is a big day for two people and they have every right to plan it their way. You had your say at your wedding, which you were entitled to.

You have to remember that not everyone is the same and by looking at this thread, it's clear that you're falling into the minority bracket on this. This is a good indication that you could be wrong in what you're saying and in your approach when saying it.

PeterParker957

SortingYouOut wrote: »

At the end of the day, after the meal, most weddings tend to see a lot of drinking and the craic that comes with it. A pub/club night atmosphere almost.

I think its completely reasonable not to want children in the midst of this and inviting them to a partial day just complicates things.

Doctors room ghost, why can't you accept that this is a big day for two people and they have every right to plan it their way. You had your say at your wedding, which you were entitled to.

You have to remember that not everyone is the same and by looking at this thread, it's clear that you're falling into the minority bracket on this. This is a good indication that you could be wrong in what you're saying and in your approach when saying it.

Now you stop with your common sense now!!!!

lazygal

We had no children at ours. Have two children now and still don't think weddings are for children. If we can't go, we can't go. We don't bring our children with us.

Toots

Mod note:

This appears to be heading into sh*t-show territory. I'm temporarily locking it while I do a clean up.

Toots

Mod Note:

Right, I've gone through the thread and had to delete about half the posts. Cards have also been handed out.

I'd remind all posters to read and abide by the forum charter, particularly this bit:

Keep It Civil
It's nice to be nice, in fact, we insist on it. Getting married and wedding planning can be a very stressful time. Let's keep tempers in check and keep the tone supportive and friendly. Do not Troll, Flame or attack other posters. Same goes for soapboxing. Everyone has differing opinions on what they like and don't like (especially when it comes to gifts) and that's great, but posting in a confrontational, argumentative way is not on, and will earn a warning/infraction, or even a ban.


Seriously, Keep it Civil
It's a sad state of affairs that this actually has to be repeated. There have been increasing incidences of some posters being downright abusive towards other posters, vilifying them over their choices/opinions/plans for their wedding day. There are plenty of ways to express your opinion without being a dick about it. Think carefully before you post; if you were on the receiving end of what you had written, how would that make you feel? Usually we only issue cards/bans as a last resort, but going forward there will be zero tolerance for muppetry/general cattiness. Repeat offenders will get a 2 week ban, and risk a permaban if their behaviour continues when they return.

Keep replies constructive and helpful to the OP, or suffer my wrath

Thread reopened.

Big Bag of Chips

GingerLily wrote: »

I wasn't invited to weddings as a child - that was 25 years ago - this isn't new.

First wedding I was ever at was when I was 21 and a bridesmaid. This thing of inviting children to weddings seems to be the new thing, not the other way around!

Would people insist on their young children being invited to a 21st? I wouldn't be too keen on bringing my children into a party in a pub at 9/10pm. Don't see why a party in a hotel should be viewed any differently.