Rubbish corporate talk

Ipso

trellheim wrote: »

Have some fun with it... If someone says "let's reach out" see if you can turn it into a "lets see about a reach-around" and then see who gets the joke

Lets run that up the flag and see who pings

Lets ping that and see who salutes

Perfectly cromulent terms. Anyone who uses them would be a fit for any team and would embiggen them with their presence.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

_Dara_

Talent management.

Beasty

I'm giving you back that 20 minutes....

You never had them in the first place! One thing that annoys me is when people drag meetings out to the full time allocated or offer that pearl of wisdom if it does finish early.

cantdecide

Deep dive

Granular

Duckjob

"Reach out" is the one that makes me want to tear the ears off of my head, mainly because of the a previous place I worked where its use was at epidemic levels. I reached out to them on slack with this when I had decided I was leaving anyway

reachout.png

Gregk961

"I will defer to your knowledge on that particular issue" = I have not got the slightest idea what anybody is talking about.

Rezident

"Deliverables" - What about your 'deliverables'?

dxhound2005

Duckjob wrote: »

"Reach out" is the one that makes me want to tear the ears off of my head, mainly because of the a previous place I worked where its use was at epidemic levels. I reached out to them on slack with this when I had decided I was leaving anyway

reachout.png

Good news. There is an Outreach Programme available for people who have no ears.

The Rape of Lucretia

cantdecide wrote: »

'Twas true then and still is today.

The only one that trumps it is 'Director of Change and Engagement'.

Aer Lingus has one. If ever a job title advertised that a company hasnt changed in decades and has serious HR gulf between management and workers, this must be it. I would have thought even if such a post were necessary, any company would be too embarrassed by the need to actually call it so.

Ipso

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

The only one that trumps it is 'Director of Change and Engagement'.

Aer Lingus has one. If ever a job title advertised that a company hasnt changed in decades and has serious HR gulf between management and workers, this must be it. I would have thought even if such a post were necessary, any company would be too embarrassed by the need to actually call it so.

You would really have to like playing Solitaire all day long to take that job.

mfceiling

You think it's corporate but it's happening everywhere.

I work in construction and it's creeping in...

"We need to double down our efforts"
"Can we take a step back and re-focus"
"Guys where are we failing you?"

Yeah fcuk off, I'm having a cup of tea here.

stateofflux

"can we action this item?"
"we will propose a design solution to meet client requirements"
"lets get this boxed off"
"we will touch base to ensure we are singing off the same hymn sheet"

popular bollox expressions in my office

seachto7

Advertising industry is full of this jargon

MAJJ

"Need to wrap our arms and legs around this. " VP in multinational I kid you not
Also, 10,000 foot view

nullzero

cumulonimbus wrote: »

Referring to people as 'resources'

Heard an apprentice being referred to as a "junior resource" some time ago, from someone who loves a bit of jargon, even by their standards it was cringe worthy.

MAJJ

MAJJ wrote: »

"Need to wrap our arms and legs around this. " VP in multinational I kid you not
Also, 10,000 foot view

Ok wtf does this mean

The Rape of Lucretia

stateofflux wrote: »

"can we action this item?"
"we will propose a design solution to meet client requirements"
"lets get this boxed off"
"we will touch base to ensure we are singing off the same hymn sheet"

I dont know. Its popular to knock and crib about these types of phrases. But I think while there is a feeling of clunkiness to many of them, and many, especially the USA origin sports one also have an offputting odour of posturing, they do actually serve a purpose. They fill in gaps or failings in the English language, where a particular concept just hasnt developped a special purpose word of its own. So we end up with these borrowed words or canned phrases.

- 'Actioning' an item does convey a stronger sense of the effort or responsibility someone will have to put into something rather than just 'doing' something.

- A 'solution' is handy when no specific term exists for the product/service/work that the customer will gain from : something that isnt simply covered by the old outputs of work like milk, a loan, or your windows cleaned.

- 'boxed off' is a nice way of saying something fully under control or completed within a given set of parameters, when there is a possibility that it can get entangled in other elements and not be finished as a result of those complications.

- yes, american sporting reference, and we could just say contact. But it does convey a little more, in that there is a specific purpose or point of interest that is to be discussed. Communications in and between todays complex organisations is very difficult, and is difficult to keep in control. That there is 100% agreement on a given topic between various parties, is handily conveyed by the hymmsheet concept.

Colonel Claptrap

Kick to touch.



Infuriating!

4068ac1elhodqr

Edward de Bono had a solution to the bewilderment of evolving new terms linguistics, surprised more corporates don't adopt it.

His book 'The Code Book' ISBN - 0 670 88848 6


- aims to replace phrases with a quick and handy numeric code system

e.g. "10/12". Translates to "I can solve this problem."

The very fact that emergency services and even Chinese restaurants use numerical codes, proves their worth. Works across languages also.

Colonel Claptrap

Rhea Thundering Juror wrote: »

Edward de Bono had a solution to the bewilderment of evolving new terms linguistics, surprised more corporates don't adopt it.

His book 'The Code Book' ISBN - 0 670 88848 6


- aims to replace phrases with a quick and handy numeric code system

e.g. "10/12". Translates to "I can solve this problem."

The very fact that emergency services and even Chinese restaurants use numerical codes, proves their worth. Works across languages also.

My cringy boss from Thurles (but thinks he's american) uses 10-4. Does that count?

4068ac1elhodqr

Colonel Claptrap wrote: »

My cringy boss from Thurles (but thinks he's american) uses 10-4. Does that count?

Kind of if he drives around in an 80's Ford Cortina with a 27mhz CB Radio and twangy magnetic aerial on the roof.

Can respond with:
10-6: Busy, stand by; 10-3: Stop transmitting; 10-7: Out of service.

cantdecide

Rhea Thundering Juror wrote: »

Can respond with:
10-6: Busy, stand by; 10-3: Stop transmitting; 10-7: Out of service.

Is there one for 'can't reply; self harming'?

Are Am Eye

cantdecide wrote: »

Is there one for 'can't reply; self harming'?

"I can't revert to you right now, as I've thrown myself out of the helicopter in the blue sky, and I'm about to get a 100mph drilled down introduction to the ground.

dxhound2005

cantdecide wrote: »

Is there one for 'can't reply; self harming'?

Don't do that good buddy. Have some body lotion (drink) and chill. You don't want to end up in the body shop (hospital).

topper75

Rezident wrote: »

"Deliverables" - What about your 'deliverables'?

Trying to change an adjective into a noun.

stateofflux wrote: »

"can we action this item?"

Trying to change a noun into a verb.

Roger Hassenforder

Are Am Eye wrote: »

"I can't revert to you right now, as I've thrown myself out of the helicopter in the blue sky, and I'm about to get a 100mph drilled down introduction to the ground.

Open your kimono

It'll slow you down

Ipso

Run point!

robyntmorton

“Culture Starting Paradigm Shift”

Though all of these things are such PHB terms (no offence, Roger Hassenforder )

Are Am Eye

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Open your kimono

It'll slow you down

I'm supposing to be killing myself, if you were following the posts, not slowing down. Go talk fashion with your girlfriends.