Guide to being an After Hours Boardsie

Mackman

I thought we could make a list of tips for newbie's to After Hours on how to conduct themselves and navigate the waves of sensible discussion that we are all accustomed to.

*Warning, may contain gross generalisations*

Which, coincidentally, is tip no. 1

1. Make gross generalisations, about everything and everyone.
2. You must like dogs. If you don't you are a cold-hearted sociopath. Cats are only acceptable while appearing in amusing videos or gifs.
3. Anyone who has a different view than yours is completely delusional, and has no idea how to function in modern society.
4. If you hold a popular and widely held belief in something, be prepared to be called out for the fool that you are.
5. If fussyonion has posted in the Dumb Facebook posts thread, do yourself a favour and read it for the LOL's.
6. If you are a vegan, be prepared to be assaulted at every level for even mentioning it.
7. If you are not a vegan, be sure to make fun of vegans.
8. Announce you atheism. because how will everyone know how enlightened you are?
9. Stay out of the Trump thread.
10. At every opportunity, remind everyone how you go against convention. e.g. Call Facebook "Bookface", or "I don't own a TV, I watch everything online"
11. Do you know everything? No ya don't. Have a read of "I bet you didn't know that",

Anything else??

DredFX

12. Always post with the intention of getting lots of thanks.

Donald Trump

13) ABP
Always be Presidential


Remember that ya idiotic shower of bigly loser spastics!

Are Am Eye

15. Pay attention to detail.

gozunda

16. If you are vegan - let everyone know it

17. Have a sly go at other posters in the guise of making "a list of tips for newbies" ...

_Whimsical_

16. When you appear to be losing in an exchange of views attempt to save face by requesting academic citations for the other posters most obvious assertions , eg. people over 75 are more likely to die than those under 30. It will make you look intelligent.

17. Take everything personally, yes this new thread topic is directed at you because this it has been made by the poster that argued a similar point with you last week. Get in there and have a dig, the more hysterical the response the better.

Irish Guitarist

Mackman wrote: »

I thought we could make a list of tips for newbie's to After Hours on how to conduct themselves and navigate the waves of sensible discussion that we are all accustomed to.

*Warning, may contain gross generalisations*

Which, coincidentally, is tip no. 1

1. Make gross generalisations, about everything and everyone.
2. You must like dogs. If you don't you are a cold-hearted sociopath. Cats are only acceptable while appearing in amusing videos or gifs.
3. Anyone who has a different view than yours is completely delusional, and has no idea how to function in modern society.
4. If you hold a popular and widely held belief in something, be prepared to be called out for the fool that you are.
5. If fussyonion has posted in the Dumb Facebook posts thread, do yourself a favour and read it for the LOL's.
6. If you are a vegan, be prepared to be assaulted at every level for even mentioning it.
7. If you are not a vegan, be sure to make fun of vegans.
8. Announce you atheism. because how will everyone know how enlightened you are?
9. Stay out of the Trump thread.
10. At every opportunity, remind everyone how you go against convention. e.g. Call Facebook "Bookface", or "I don't own a TV, I watch everything online"
11. Do you know everything? No ya don't. Have a read of "I bet you didn't know that",

Anything else??

22) Quote the OP even though it's obvious what you're replying to.

riffmongous

I thought this was going to be a ****ty re-reg thread, not a bad list at all OP! Now I am going to get out of here before everyone starts having a go at whatever opinions/beliefs they disagree with

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

23 - Multiculturalism. Go on. I dare ya!
24 - Teachers. I DOUBLE dar ya

Junkyard Tom

21. Be strangely hostile to Irish nationalism/republicanism while living in a state created by it.

gozunda

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

16. When you appear to be losing in an exchange of views attempt to save face by requesting academic citations for the other posters most obvious assertions , eg. people over 75 are more likely to die than those under 30. It will make you look intelligent.

17. Take everything personally, yes this new thread topic is directed at you because this it has been made by the poster that argued a similar point with you last week. Get in there and have a dig, the more hysterical the response the better.

17 1/2. Makes a hames of the numbering system as set up by the OP ...

(Pssst - the above points should be 18 and 19 ... 'Fraid I got there before ye )

Are Am Eye

21. Not all Roma gypsies come from Romania.
20. Its not the fast lane. It's the overtake lane.
19. Not all women are the same. And they don't have a hive
mind.
18. Public sector are overpaid and do a bad job.
17. Yore ma.

Mackman

gozunda wrote: »

17. Have a sly go at other posters in the guise of making "a list of tips for newbies" ...

25. Be cynical, very cynical

Rubberchikken

26. The gardai. Overrated.
27. Spongers. Really just much maligned.

Old Perry

Guide to after hours?
No mention of Atari jaguar?
No mention of blast with piss?
No mention of kicks to the face?

These are all essential ingredients.

3. Avoid commenting while intoxicated.

somefeen

DredFX wrote: »

12. Always post with the intention of getting lots of thanks.

13. The best way to get lots of thanks is to be the first reply to a new thread. Unfortunately you'll be held to a higher standard.

Even good posts don't get the thanks they deserve while ocuppying this position and they end up just getting quoted a few pages later by a thanks whore, hoping to capitalise on your wit.

jigglypuffstuff

28 : Snowflakes : Need not apply

Pseudorandom

29. Taking a dig at feminism/SJW is always ok no matter how tenuously related to the actual OP.

harry Bailey esq

Pseudorandom wrote: »

29. Taking a dig at feminism/SJW is always ok no matter how tenuously related to the actual OP.

Always use the word boss when referring to the the travelling community. Don't ever dispute a fact with a mod called Wibbs, you'll lose. The man is a living encyclopedia. Never refer to Donald Trump in a favourable light. Always refer to Michael D in a favourable light. Never talk about football. Gaa talk is allowed. Memorise father ted quotes, a well delivered one will win any argument and will garner many thanks. If you drink Budweiser/Heineken/Carlsberg never admit it as you'll be hung out to dry.

NollagShona

Live alone (or in digs holed up in your room- or in your parents house) with minimal contact with the outside world and have a borderline personality disorder

Oranage2

DredFX wrote: »

12. Always post with the intention of getting lots of thanks.

Copy the most thanked post but change a word or two to get piggyback thanks.

Only read the first and last page.

evolving_doors

Are Am Eye wrote: »

21. Not all Roma gypsies come from Romania.
20. Its not the fast lane. It's the overtake lane.
19. Not all women are the same. And they don't have a hive
mind.
18. Public sector are overpaid and do a bad job.
17. Yore ma.

Actually the correct term is yor ma. Or yer, yeer or the colloquial yissr.

Malayalam

23.
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care
what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway

freshpopcorn

You've got to hate the Catholic church.

Prime Irish Beef

Everyone on the dole are worse than Hitler.

And lets not mention travellers.

Samuel T. Cogley

42. Use the terms straw-man and hyperbole a lot.

Peatys

49. Be passionate about your simply attending weddings is present enough.

pickarooney

37. Use the term per se to look intelligent but spell it 'per say' and look like a fool.

harry Bailey esq

freshpopcorn wrote: »

You've got to hate the Catholic church.

Amen to that brother

Bob Harris

38. When a mildly controversial topic comes up be sure to post *gets popcorn* within the first five posts of the thread.

39. If someone asks for any kind of advice to do with their home like a spider in the bath be sure to be in quickly with sound advice like 'burn the house down'

40. If the thread concerns travellers the appropriate post should include the word 'culture'.

gozunda

50. Whatever the topic - invoke Godwins law immediately and refer to what has been posted as Nazism ...

Peatys

67. Assume all want to know what you are doing at any given time

Mrcaramelchoc

68 There must be a you tube clip in every thread.EVERY THREAD.

Mena Mitty

51. They told me many years ago that 'Anything goes' in After Hours. Several years and many usernames later.....I consider After Hours the best therapy money can't buy.

52. Tell as many little white as you can. The more the merrier. Try and beat your own personal record every time you post.

53. Ignore the trolls is the advice given. I say pitch your stance against the trolls, shout them down and engage in frivolous debate at every oppertunity. Get free on the spot training for that law degree or Rte presenters job you always dreamed about.

Peatys

128. Don't forget to mention you're a rereg to add a bit of the aul gravitas to your opinion

gozunda

Mrcaramelchoc wrote: »

68 There must be a you tube clip in every thread.EVERY THREAD.

69. Make sure to point out to the poster that they forgot to embed the Youtube clip they were referring to ....

The J Stands for Jay

97. The following spellings must be used:
Thread for tread
Faith for fate
Moth for Mott

sjb25

You must try get a fr ted quote in as much as possible

NollagShona

Mute point for moot point

Cookie_Monster

98. write detailed / long-winded / hilarious / controversial posts to start threads and then just delete them and not bother because it's just not worth it any more.

The Pheasant2

Post in a thread where the topic is a well known celebrity, only to say you do not know who said celebrity is.

LCD

Cyclists are the cause of all the world's ills

Omackeral

Mackman wrote: »

I thought we could make a list of tips for newbie's to After Hours

Always use an apostrophe for plural words when it's not needed.

Omackeral

sjb25 wrote: »

You must try get a fr ted quote in as much as possible

This must be followed up with;

a) Careful now.
b) Down with this sort of thing.

valoren

69. Remember your ABD's - Always Be Derailing.

gozunda

100. Thank all Mods comments profusely - no matter what ...

diomed

70. Bring the thread in another direction

Rory28

73. He was only going to the cinema.

Boom_Bap

Mrcaramelchoc wrote: »

68 There must be a you tube clip in every thread.EVERY THREAD.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpPjVkKzTJk

Gravelly

78. Accuse anyone disagreeing with your opinion of being a simpleton/nazi/racist/supporter of whatever political party you don't like

79. Anyone is entitled to free speech as long as they agree with your right-on opinion.

80. If someone asks for buying advice on anything and their budget is €xxx, immediately suggest options costing 5 times that much.

81. Quote esoteric minutiae about any subject you dug up on Google to make yourself sound like an expert whose opinion dare not be
challenged.