Honest advice

King George VI

Anna2834 wrote: »

Cant disclose amount because I don't think I heard the truth and its almost 3 years....correction was 3 years.

HOOO SHIET you dumped him? Savagery!!

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

and by large amount I mean in excess of €50k as I think anything under that isn't exactly life changing.

Man fuck you I found a fiver on the ground the other day and I nearly cried.

Beta Ray Bill

Anna2834 wrote: »

YES Immediately, absolutely no doubt about it. 100% I would.

Guys thank's a mill for all the help and advice I really appreciate it. I sort of understand now why some people would hide it, I just guess I couldn't/wouldn't do it. Guess money is the root of all evil. The issue was trust nothing to do with money.

Women require Time and Money
Women = Time * Money

But time is money
Women = Money * Money

Therefore
Women = Money²

But like you said Money is the Root of Evil
Evil = Money²

Therefore:
Women = Evil

Rory28

Anna2834 wrote: »

Cant disclose amount because I don't think I heard the truth and its almost 3 years....correction was 3 years.

Ballpark it. We talking hob nobs money or generic custard cream money?

Beta Ray Bill

andekwarhola wrote: »

And therein perhaps lies the reason that the guy was trying to squirrel some money aside.

My Ex would have been the exact same

I was always saving for a rainy day.
If she knew there was €5k sitting there, she'd be at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me, and at me to spend it on a Holiday.

She made the same money as me, she just pi$$ed hers away.

If I had won a €1,000,000 I don't think I'd have told her. As she'd just spend it in Dundrum in about 12 to 24 months.

minikin

Would you consider the trust to be rebuilt if he handed over 50% of the winnings, what’s your price?

Seems a bit petty to walk away from a relationship over this, were you in it for love or for financial betterment?
Was it emotional or a business transaction?

How about: tell him you’re delighted he had a bit of good luck. And say / think no more about it.
(Perhaps he cleared a debt, that you were also unaware of, with the winnings)

Forgiveness is also an important part of a relationship.

Money isn’t the root of all evil, the love of money is the root of all evil.

ChippingSodbury

Rory28 wrote: »

Ballpark it. We talking hob nobs money or generic custard cream money?

fair question!

Size|Grading|Odds
<€100|Own-brand Custard Creams|2/1
€101-€1,000|"Real" Custard Creams|4/5
€1,001-€10,000|Hobnobs|1/4F
€10,001-€1,000,000|Ferrero Rocher|3/1
>€1,000,000|Buy the Biscuit Factory|10/1

Canis Lupus

I got a $50 giftcard from work for xmas and pretty much danced in front of my partner waving it about.... I may not be very grown up...

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

The_Valeyard

HOW MUCH MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

copeyhagen

thinks back to all the work bonuses I used to get and keep from the missus..."yeah, theyre could be a legit reason"

o1s1n

Some people are just bad with money OP and it can be very evident to everyone apart from them.

Your boyfriend might think you're bad with money therefore he doesn't want to let you know because he might have plans for it (which he doesn't want you to risk)

Or on the flip side, maybe he's just a miser. It's anyone's guess really.

givyjoe

o1s1n wrote: »

Some people are just bad with money OP and it can be very evident to everyone apart from them.

Your boyfriend might think you're bad with money therefore he doesn't want to let you know because he might have plans for it (which he doesn't want you to risk)

Or on the flip side, maybe he's just a miser. It's anyone's guess really.

Either way, it's his money. Getting snotty over how much he has (and doesn't tell you) is a bit rich.

mmg0305

Some people are also very bad at keeping things quiet. Maybe he didn't think you'd be able to keep the news to yourself.

Dial Hard

givyjoe wrote: »

Either way, it's his money. Getting snotty over how much he has (and doesn't tell you) is a bit rich.

It wouldn't be about the money for me at all. If my partner kept *any* big news from me I'd find it very strange.

Anna2834

minikin wrote: »

Would you consider the trust to be rebuilt if he handed over 50% of the winnings, what’s your price?

Seems a bit petty to walk away from a relationship over this, were you in it for love or for financial betterment?
Was it emotional or a business transaction?

How about: tell him you’re delighted he had a bit of good luck. And say / think no more about it.
(Perhaps he cleared a debt, that you were also unaware of, with the winnings)

Forgiveness is also an important part of a relationship.

Money isn’t the root of all evil, the love of money is the root of all evil.

I don't want money or anything - for me it was that I wasn't trusted...that's what I picked up.

Look guys thanks a mill for all the help, I was trying to see if I was being unreasonable with my reaction, and I was acting childish and petty.

But as one person said earlier, it was only 18 months he doesn't have to say anything to me, which is fair enough.

Anyway I am happy and content with my decision....no trust no future.

valoren

The irony here is that we're all as annoyed as the OP, because we don't know how much money we're talking about here.

Rory28

Anna2834 wrote: »

I dont want money or anything - for me it was that I wasn't trusted...thats what I picked up.

It really depends on the amount. Is it life changing money? If it is a couple of grand then I dont think its a problem at all.

minikin

Anna2834 wrote: »

I dont want money or anything - for me it was that I wasn't trusted...thats what I picked up.

That can be hard to accept in a relationship, perhaps in the early days of your relationship he didn't know enough about you to deem you trustworthy.

A foolish person goes into a relationship completely trusting those they don't really know yet...

Trust is the product and result of a good long term relationship.

(Right, that's all my motivational poster quotes used up for now)

Malari

Anna2834 wrote: »

I dont want money or anything - for me it was that I wasn't trusted...thats what I picked up.

When we were under a year together my boyfriend won a sum of money and it was a very joyous occasion for him, and he couldn't wait to share it with me...the news I mean! I especially remember because when I came home from work there was one of his work acquaintances there and he waited for yer man to leave before giving me a big hug It certainly wasn't a life-changing amount...it just meant a bit of comfort for a big purchase.

We were living together, so maybe it was different, but I'd certainly feel more than just put out if he hadn't told me, just from the honesty and trust point of view, and why he wouldn't want to celebrate happy news with me.

SAMTALK

Anna2834 wrote: »

I dont want money or anything - for me it was that I wasn't trusted...thats what I picked up.

TBH this is the thing I wouldn't understand. Why wouldnt your partner tell you.

They don't have to let you have access to the money if they so wish but I would think it very strange not to say anything

Anna2834

valoren wrote: »

The irony here is that we're all as annoyed as the OP, because we don't know how much money we're talking about here.

I honestly dont know exactly something along the lines of Ferrero Rocher

Anna2834

SAMTALK wrote: »

TBH this is the thing I wouldn't understand. Why wouldnt your partner tell you.

They don't have to let you have access to the money if they so wish but I would think it very strange not to say anything

Exactly my point - it was nice to tell me that's all. Absolutely no need to have access to anything....for me it's again coming back to the trust issue.

minikin

Anna2834 wrote: »

I honestly dont know exactly

Ah Anna, I feel you're holding out on us... I don't see our relationship lasting if we can't trust you to be open with us

Anna2834

minikin wrote: »

Ah Anna, I think you're holding out on us... I don't see our relationship lasting if we can't trust you to be open with us

I know and I AM sorry about that. It was a nice enough sum...all I wanted to hear is the "trust" part but a lot of people seem to concentrate on the money aspect, which for me is irrelevant - I was more interested in the "no trust" part.

Rory28

Anna2834 wrote: »

I know and I AM sorry about that. It was a nice enough sum...all I wanted to her is the "trust" part but a lot of people seem to concentrate on the money aspect, which for me is irrelevant - I was more interested in the "no trust" part.

You tease us with unknown fortunes! If you cant trust him then you're right in wanting to leave him.

minikin

Anna2834 wrote: »

I know and I AM sorry about that. It was a nice enough sum...all I wanted to hear is the "trust" part but a lot of people seem to concentrate on the money aspect, which for me is irrelevant - I was more interested in the "no trust" part.

If the sum he won was €5 would you still be as concerned that he didn't tell you?

I wonder if deep down your problem is not about TRUST but about the fact that he apparently didn't want to SHARE a decent amount of shrapnel with you?
I would see that as a more reasonable problem to have with him...

Anna2834

Rory28 wrote: »

You tease us with unknown fortunes! If you cant trust him then you're right in wanting to leave him.

its the Ferrero Rocher - now that you have a rough idea of the sum is would you have liked to know if the shoe was on the other foot?

Size Grading Odds
<€100 Own-brand Custard Creams 2/1
€101-€1,000 "Real" Custard Creams 4/5
€1,001-€10,000 Hobnobs 1/4F
€10,001-€1,000,000 Ferrero Rocher 3/1
>€1,000,000 Buy the Biscuit Factory 10/1

Anna2834

minikin wrote: »

If the sum he won was €5 would you still be as concerned that he didn't tell you?

I wonder if deep down your problem is not about TRUST but about the fact that he apparently didn't want to SHARE a decent amount of shrapnel with you?
I would see that as a more reasonable problem to have with him...

Absolutely nothing at all to do with that. I have a good job I assure you and never wanted anyone's money....:(

mariaalice

The op sound like they want to convince themselves that its alright.

If you seeing someone for years its a relationship not dating.

At the very least its secretive and a bit odd why would someone not want to share good news with someone they love.

Walking away sounds dramatic why not talk about it.

The only thing that would make a slight difference is was the money won before the relationship started or while in the relationship.

The op also sound like they has concerns about the person but is pushing them away because they want to stay with the person, Its possible for people to convince themselves of anything make excuses for anything because they want to stay in the relationship its not all that uncommon.

biko

How about you win some money too, and not tell your partner for a year?