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How often do ye rattle the wife

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2

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    #32
    ArtSmart
    Registered Users Posts: 5,614 ✭✭✭ArtSmart


    My wife's rattled every time I don't use a coaster.

    You're doing it wrong, OP.


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    #33
    ArtSmart
    Registered Users Posts: 5,614 ✭✭✭ArtSmart


    Laura Salmon Pet wrote: »
    Go on my son.
    Damn it Dad, you just made me lose my mojo.

    Mam is furious.


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    #34
    boombang
    Registered Users Posts: 2,108 ✭✭✭boombang


    I assume you use your rattlesnake


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    #35
    um7y1h83ge06nx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,029 ✭✭✭um7y1h83ge06nx


    So how often do you poke her snatch OP?


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    #36
    LETHAL LADY
    Registered Users Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭LETHAL LADY


    I'm a wife and I prefer to jiggle.


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    #37
    lukesmom
    Registered Users Posts: 4,400 ✭✭✭lukesmom


    Every night unless sick


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    #38
    misstearheus
    Registered Users Posts: 2,115 ✭✭✭misstearheus


    RayM wrote: »
    The phrase "like throwing a cocktail sausage down O'Connell Street" springs to mind.

    I don't get that. :(


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    #39
    FishOnABike
    Registered Users Posts: 4,372 ✭✭✭FishOnABike


    RayM wrote: »
    The phrase "like throwing a cocktail sausage down O'Connell Street" springs to mind.
    Sure, I'll just strap a hurley sideways to my arse in case I fall in. Be grand...


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    #40
    GMSA
    Registered Users Posts: 281 ✭✭GMSA


    Aaaaand he rattled it into Mary while her mother was out for tuurrrrf.


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    #41
    judeboy101
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,246 ✭✭✭judeboy101


    lanomist wrote: »
    About once a year, but the good thing is TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT.

    New years eve and new years day, then you get a 2 day run


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    #42
    PeterParker957
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,177 ✭✭✭PeterParker957


    I've a mate who likes to pull when the clocks go forward so he can say "new personal best there love, hour and five minutes!!"


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    #43
    phill106
    Registered Users Posts: 6,810 ✭✭✭phill106


    misstearheus wrote: »
    I don't get that. :(

    He is implying she has a massively loose fanny


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    #44
    PeterParker957
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,177 ✭✭✭PeterParker957


    phill106 wrote: »
    misstearheus wrote: »
    I don't get that. :(

    He is implying she has a massively loose fanny

    Cf also "wizard's sleeve"


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    #45
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,079 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    LETHAL LADY wrote: »
    I'm a wife and I prefer to jiggle.

    I’d have you fizzin like bottled Bass, Missus.

    Get a good batter up, so I could.

    Top bulbman


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    #46
    PeterParker957
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,177 ✭✭✭PeterParker957


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    LETHAL LADY wrote: »
    I'm a wife and I prefer to jiggle.

    I’d have you fizzin like bottled Bass, Missus.

    Get a good batter up, so I could.

    Top bulbman

    There's ya Tinder ad right there !!!!


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    #47
    RayM
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,973 ✭✭✭RayM


    phill106 wrote: »
    He is implying she has a massively loose fanny

    They all do by the time I'm finished with them.


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    #48
    NewbridgeIR
    Registered Users Posts: 3,718 ✭✭✭NewbridgeIR


    PeterParker957 wrote: »
    Cf also "wizard's sleeve"

    Or "clown's pocket"


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    #49
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,079 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    PeterParker957 wrote: »
    There's ya Tinder ad right there !!!!

    Hmmmm, I tried “I’d have you wet as an otters pocket” and only got four responses.

    Not sure if they respond to that stuff.


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    #50
    PeterParker957
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,177 ✭✭✭PeterParker957


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    PeterParker957 wrote: »
    There's ya Tinder ad right there !!!!

    Hmmmm, I tried “I’d have you wet as an otters pocket” and only got four responses.

    Not sure if they respond to that stuff.

    Ah ya silver tongued charmer!!!!


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    #51
    archer22
    Registered Users Posts: 2,116 ✭✭✭archer22


    Avatar MIA wrote: »
    Listen, I'll be ploughing what you've harrowed!

    You ruin the field doing that...ploughing comes before the harrowing...as any good (and some bad) farmers could tell you :cool:


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    #52
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,079 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    archer22 wrote: »
    You ruin the field doing that...ploughing comes before the harrowing...as any good (and some bad) farmers could tell you :cool:

    Well spotted.... well spotted.

    I’m afraid they don’t react too well to that kind of expression.

    I used to refer to foreplay as getting the lass ‘shovel ready’.

    Didn’t go down well.


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    #53
    Dr Crayfish
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,960 ✭✭✭Dr Crayfish


    The only place you'll get honesty about sexless marriages, which seems to be most of them, is anonymously in the relationship issues forum


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    #54
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users Posts: 13,018 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    lukesmom wrote: »
    Every night unless sick

    After Luke goes to sleep.

    To thine own self be true



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    #55
    Dakota Dan
    Registered Users Posts: 3,761 ✭✭✭Dakota Dan


    Avatar MIA wrote: »
    Santa, that you?

    Santa has to empty his sac now and then.


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    #56
    Avatar MIA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,750 ✭✭✭Avatar MIA


    Dakota Dan wrote: »
    Santa has to empty his sac now and then.

    Must be a heavy sac after 364 days, leap year's must feel like a cruel joke - the rumours of Mrs Clause and the elves can't make it any easier. :pac:


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    #57
    Rumpy Pumpy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,048 ✭✭✭Rumpy Pumpy


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    Hmmmm, I tried “I’d have you wet as an otters pocket” and only got four responses.

    Not sure if they respond to that stuff.

    Did you get to have a ‘fish supper’ at ‘granny’s oyster bar’?

    :confused:


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    #58
    Hector Bellend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,667 ✭✭✭Hector Bellend


    It's become something of christmas tradition to have a really good ride on christmas morning.

    I'll give her a proper good boning first thing in the morning.

    We'll go back to bed for a couple of hours and then I'll try shafting her again in the shower.


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    #59
    Fann Linn
    Registered Users Posts: 7,772 ✭✭✭Fann Linn


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    Well spotted.... well spotted.

    I’m afraid they don’t react too well to that kind of expression.

    I used to refer to foreplay as getting the lass ‘shovel ready’.

    Didn’t go down well.

    Thats your problem....'Didn't go down well.'


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    #60
    PeterParker957
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,177 ✭✭✭PeterParker957


    Hector Bellend wrote: »
    It's become something of christmas tradition to have a really good ride on christmas morning.

    I'll give her a proper good boning first thing in the morning.

    We'll go back to bed for a couple of hours and then I'll try shafting her again in the shower.

    Ah I love Jane Austen!!!


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    #61
    fergus1001
    Registered Users Posts: 2,625 ✭✭✭fergus1001


    Gigidy gigidy goo


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