Hotel have advertised a wedding open day on the day of our wedding

paddyirish23

Hi all,
I'm just wondering is it normal for a hotel to have an open day on the day of someone's wedding as I've never seen it done before?
We're getting married In 2 weeks, have the full amount paid , and found out on Facebook that the hotel have advertised a wedding open day. I'm fairly pissed off that they didn't even have the decency to ask us or let us know about this. I'm meeting with them today but am I wrong to want them to cancel this?
Nothing on the contract about them having the right to hold anything like this either.
Thoughts?

Pawwed Rig

You are renting sections of the hotel not the whole thing. Why would this bother you?

paddyirish23

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

You are renting sections of the hotel not the whole thing. Why would this bother you?

The hotel isn't the biggest and who's to stop people showing up eating and drinking what we are supplying for our guests as they arrive? Also, they will be showing them around the suite that we are going to be using for holding the cards and our stuff in not to mention them walking around our reception that we'll have set up for the meal.
We will be the only wedding as they can only cater for one at a time. I feel they should've at least given us a heads up and not found out from other people.

paddyirish23

And I get that other people will be staying in the hotel that's a given but took actually hold an open day and have them bringing strangers around while our reception is on has me annoyed, I dunno am I being unreasonable here?

Addle

What time is the 'day' advertised as?
It's probably just to show the room set up.
If anything, they might add some extra bells and whistles to have the function looking its best..
I wouldn't worry about it.

The hotel is a public venue and you've chosen to marry during a festive period.
It will probably be busier than usual anyways.

Addle

paddyirish23 wrote: »

And I get that other people will be staying in the hotel that's a given but took actually hold an open day and have them bringing strangers around while our reception is on has me annoyed, I dunno am I being unreasonable here?

I doubt very much it will interfere with your reception.
Have you ever been to an open day?

Fann Linn

Talk to Joe!

paddyirish23

Addle wrote: »

I doubt very much it will interfere with your reception.
Have you ever been to an open day?

Yes we've been to many of them while organising ours but never to one while a reception is actually taking place. Our reception starts at 2 and they've adverised 1 to 4pm.

Addle

paddyirish23 wrote: »

Yes we've been to many of them while organising ours but never to one while a reception is actually taking place. Our reception starts at 2 and they've adverised 1 to 4pm.

Your reception is starting relatively early.
But people will be looking at the function room. What time is dinner?
I'd mention your displeasure to the coordinator, but you can't stop other people being in the hotel.

paddyirish23

Addle wrote: »

Your reception is starting relatively early.
But people will be looking at the function room. What time is dinner?
I'd mention your displeasure to the coordinator, but you can't stop other people being in the hotel.

Yes it's early but that's what we've chosen. The meal sits for 5pm. I get that people will be in the hotel anyway on the day but the function room is usually closed and I'm more pissed that we weren't informed about the open day as we've paid a lot of money for this reception. They'll also be showing them around the bridal suite that we are supposed to be using and all our stuff will be in the room. Herself is freaking out over everything as if she didn't have enough to be worrying about.

paddyirish23

Fann Linn wrote: »

Talk to Joe!

I would be he's not up at this hour :-p

whoopsadoodles

Have you spoken to the hotel about your concerns?

KellyXX

That happened on our wedding day.
The place was full of people coming in and looking around and taking to the staff. Loads were even asking the band for cards and coming up to myself or my parents during dinner and asking us what we thought of the process and questions about the hotel. It was my wedding day, p1ss off.
It really put a downer on the day if I'm honest there was so many of them hanging around and annoying people. It was such an intrusion .

The photos are full of these random couples holding leaflets just standing around pointing and taking photos, a lot of them with parents etc.


If I knew that was going to happen in advance I would cancel. Probably too late now for you op, but ask a friend to be a bouncer or something. They won't get to enjoy your wedding but you might.

davo10

paddyirish23 wrote: »

Yes it's early but that's what we've chosen. The meal sits for 5pm. I get that people will be in the hotel anyway on the day but the function room is usually closed and I'm more pissed that we weren't informed about the open day as we've paid a lot of money for this reception. They'll also be showing them around the bridal suite that we are supposed to be using and all our stuff will be in the room. Herself is freaking out over everything as if she didn't have enough to be worrying about.

Have you spoken to the hotel about this? Surely showing people around a bridal suite while it is occupied would turn potential newlyweds customers off rather than encourage them. I understand them showing the set functionroom before you enter it, I don't see what your problem with that is, as long as you have exclusive use once your guests are called in for dinner. Are you sure they will be showing attendees around your suite, or are you jumping to conclusions?

paddyirish23

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

Have you spoken to the hotel about your concerns?

Meeting them today

irishgirl19

I think you're totally justified in asking them not to have it on your day.
I wouldn't be happy with that at all

Don Kiddick

Just tell the hotel it's not on...nobody allowed into the bridal suite at all and nobody allowed into the dining area at any stage of your reception....they can't really say no to these requests...if they do you have to escalate immediately, be it talk to a higher authority within the hotel or your solicitor...at no time were you informed of this event taking place and you'd have them over a barrel legally if what you suspect is true

paddyirish23

davo10 wrote: »

Have you spoken to the hotel about this? Surely showing people around a bridal suite while it is occupied would turn potential newlyweds customers off rather than encourage them. I understand them showing the set functionroom before you enter it, I don't see what your problem with that is, as long as you have exclusive use once your guests are called in for dinner. Are you sure they will be showing attendees around your suite, or are you jumping to conclusions?

No it says it in the ad come see their bridal suite and room set up for your big day. I feel like telling them they need to cancel or rearrange it as I've family I Don't talk to but if they spot this they will take advantage and arrive over to it. Our only issue with the room being shown is well have personal pictures up with the cake. Again surely they should've told us about this??

dudara

Technically, while you’re checked in and using the bridal suite, it is your abode. No one should be entering except hotel staff.

Judging by what you’re saying, I’d be fairly upset too. But talk to the hotel, ask them what they’re going to do to assure you that your wedding won’t be interrupted or put upon. Ask them to confirm to you that all your possessions etc will be safe while they are having their open day.

KellyXX

Oh I forgot the best bit. The manager was bringing people into our reception too while we were eating and later on too and pouring our wine into glasses for them.
I didn't see that but got told afterwards by my other half who was fuming also.
I would make them cancel it if I were you.

Whispered

I'd be surprised if they intend to show the bridal suite after you've checked in. I wouldn't be happy about the open day at all. I don't think you're being unreasonable.

paddyirish23

dudara wrote: »

Technically, while you’re checked in and using the bridal suite, it is your abode. No one should be entering except hotel staff.

Judging by what you’re saying, I’d be fairly upset too. But talk to the hotel, ask them what they’re going to do to assure you that your wedding won’t be interrupted or put upon. Ask them to confirm to you that all your possessions etc will be safe while they are having their open day.

I've a feeling they will tell us that we can't check in until after it's over! God today is going to be fun and here I was thinking everything was going nice and smoothly 😂

Don Kiddick

paddyirish23 wrote: »

I've a feeling they will tell us that we can't check in until after it's over! God today is going to be fun and here I was thinking everything was going nice and smoothly 😂

Well that's not going to happen, you have the church.. pics and when you arrive at the hotel you'll want to freshen up before the meal...they can't have people traipsing in and out of the room as you arrive ...

Blingy

KellyXX wrote: »

Oh I forgot the best bit. The manager was bringing people into our reception too while we were eating and later on too and pouring our wine into glasses for them.
I didn't see that but got told afterwards by my other half who was fuming also.
I would make them cancel it if I were you.

That is disgraceful. I hope you demanded a large discount when paying the bill.

KellyXX

Blingy wrote: »

That is disgraceful. I hope you demanded a large discount when paying the bill.

We tried, but failed.
They didn't want to know.
Quoting TS and C's etc.
They said the wine wasn't ours, but it was. We ended up paying for it.

Blingy

KellyXX wrote: »

We tried, but failed.
They didn't want to know.
Quoting TS and C's etc.
They said the wine wasn't ours, but it was. We ended up paying for it.

Oh my god. That's ridiculous.

KAGY

If it does happened make sure someone (or everyone) tells the visitors that's you wouldn't recommend it as the hotel does exactly what they're doing to you. Nobody wants that sh!t on their day and the visitors are there presumably to rate the place and should be turned off by it

KellyXX

Blingy wrote: »

Oh my god. That's ridiculous.

The whole affair is ridiculous.
Hotels should never ever hold an event on someone else's wedding day, especially a wedding fair. As much as they promise it won't interfere, couples and parents will just flood into the wedding they see going on at the time for a nose.

Addle

Any showcase I've been to has been in a unoccupied function room, which yours will be until 4.
Anything other than that is unreasonable imo.

KAGY

I'd look for a written statement from the hotel starting that no non hotel personnel will be allowed look in your room after you've checked in, no non guests be allowed in reception room while it's being used

A few letters /emails from (your friends) prospective customers along the lines of "I was interested in your open day but I see that we will be intruding on someone's special day. We will not be attending/ considering your hotel as you may do the same to us / treat guests with such disrespect etc"

Obviously better worded and all different enough not to be obvious

mrs.doubt.fire

In your very first post you said you have already paid the hotel in full, I dont understand why you have the full amount paid to the hotel already, maybe times have changed since I got married but back in my day (almost 30 years ago) you paid a deposit when you booked the hotel and the balance was paid on the day just before you sat down to dinner.

A wedding fair this time of year ? Is that normal ??

Unfortunately some times contracts are not worth the paper they are written on, contact your solicitor before your meeting with the hotel today, bring your contract to the solicitor so he/she can read it to give you better advice. Best of luck. Let us know how you got on.

mrs.doubt.fire

Have a look at which hospitality organisation has graded the hotel X number of stars (example... Failte Ireland, the AA etc) you can complain to them and let them know what the hotel did wrong, I know this for a fact as I'm in the Hospitality business my self. Take your time to write your complaint to them and enclose a clear photo-copy of your wedding contract and a photo-copy of your receipt of payment for the wedding dinner etc, all of that is PROOF, they will then have a meeting with the Hotel to see why they did this to you on your big day as they have to hear both sides of the story, depending on their assessment of the situation, the Hotel could lose a star ..or all their stars!! If they lose all their star ratings from which ever hospitality company they are with, they will be kicked off that hospitality company as members and never allowed back as members, and by the way...hotels have to pay an annual membership fee to be with any hospitality company and its not cheap, if they are kicked off, they dont get a refund of their membership payment and no Hotel wants to be no star rating, it's not good for business.
As for letting people into your bedroom / bridal suite...no that's not on, they can not do that!! Just like they can not let anyone into your room any time of year even if there is no wedding, once a guest has checked in that room is off limits to everyone including staff unless you contacted reception and asked for them to come to your room for room service, to fix something, housekeeping etc But they (the hotel) certainly can not use the bridal suite bed room as a selling tool to prospective future wedding couples while it's already taken.

whoopsadoodles

With regards to relatives you don't want there showing up; just be aware that a wedding is a public event and technically no one can be refused entry to the ceremony.

Try to keep the head when you're talking to them. Be rational and stick to facts, otherwise they'll just ignore the important points you're making.

I'd be concerned that they could tell you the bridal suite isn't available as I know they always have it in the Ts&Cs that use of it is subject to availability

c6ysaphjvqw41k

This post has been deleted.

I’d be peeved right now too OP. The cake and flowers/decorations that you have chosen will probably have been set up already. They’ll be people popping in to have a look, what happens if someone trips? Yeah, I know that could happen with your own guests too but these are people you haven’t invited and god knows how many there will be.

Also, nosiness gets the better of all of us. Hand on heart, if I went to a wedding fayre and an actual wedding was going on I think I’d be sneaking peeks. Different story now I’ve had my wedding but before that, it’s possible I could have imposed due to being in the excited phase. How many “me” could be at this fayre?

paddyirish23

Just had an email back saying rest assured the open day won't impact on our day and that they do this for weddings regularly. I still can't see how it won't as it's overlapping with our reception time.
I'd rather not go down the route of ruining a hotel's name at least not until it actually did impact our day.
They have open days every few months on sundays or mid week with the room done up so I can't see why they've decided now to do it on our day. I actually remember when booking it they had a wedding on that day and no-one was allowed view the room due to the wedding and that was early in the morning I was there!

Sunny Dayz

Has the hotel got a number of function rooms? If it doesn't I fail to see how it won't impact on your day. Having been to weddings and wedding fairs (never at the same time) it's a busy time for a hotel. Car park is full, reception area is milling with people. A hotel trying to coordinate a wedding and a wedding fair at the same time?


Wedding fairs are usually held on a Sunday because that's a day that weddings aren't generally held so the function room, hotel and suppliers are all available. Also this isn't the time of year for a wedding fair, often they are in late Jan/early Feb to catch those who get engaged over the Christmas.

whoopsadoodles

You need to email asking for specific answers to the following questions:

- will suite availability, check in time or otherwise, be affected by this event?

- will anyone other than the bridal party and staff have access, however short, to the bridal suite at any point during the day?

- will the open day visitors have access to the wedding reception area while your guests are in the hotel?

- will the open day visitors have access to the function room while your guests are in the hotel?

- what is the agenda for the open day?

- what person will be available on the day that you can contact if you are in any way unhappy with proceedings?

lazygal

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

With regards to relatives you don't want there showing up; just be aware that a wedding is a public event and technically no one can be refused entry to the ceremony.

Only if the ceremony is legally binding. One of the reasons our 'big' day wasn't legally binding was so a couple of relatives who are trouble could be told to get lost if they turned up.

Neyite

lazygal wrote: »

Only if the ceremony is legally binding. One of the reasons our 'big' day wasn't legally binding was so a couple of relatives who are trouble could be told to get lost if they turned up.

Plus it's the ceremony that is required to be public (if legally binding)

A reception in a hotel is a private party, and not required to be open to the public.

If the function room is available for random people to even 'peek' in to see a wedding celebration in full swing, then there is the very real chance that the very people the OP wanted to exclude from her wedding day gain entry and do their disruptive thing.

whoopsadoodles

lazygal wrote: »

Only if the ceremony is legally binding. One of the reasons our 'big' day wasn't legally binding was so a couple of relatives who are trouble could be told to get lost if they turned up.

You are correct of course, I should have said marriage rather than wedding also.

Neyite wrote: »

Plus it's the ceremony that is required to be public (if legally binding)
.

I did specify ceremony.

lazygal

Neyite wrote: »

Plus it's the ceremony that is required to be public (if legally binding)

A reception in a hotel is a private party, and not required to be open to the public.

If the function room is available for random people to even 'peek' in to see a wedding celebration in full swing, then there is the very real chance that the very people the OP wanted to exclude from her wedding day gain entry and do their disruptive thing.

Friends of my husband had a civil ceremony in a hotel. A random woman seated herself in a prominent spot and wouldn't move because 'she wanted to see what it was all about' given that she'd only ever attended church weddings. Celebrant said there was nothing that could be done, she couldn't be asked to move.

baby and crumble

lazygal wrote: »

Friends of my husband had a civil ceremony in a hotel. A random woman seated herself in a prominent spot and wouldn't move because 'she wanted to see what it was all about' given that she'd only ever attended church weddings. Celebrant said there was nothing that could be done, she couldn't be asked to move.

:eek:

Surely she could've been asked to move to the back of the room or something?

There were people from my wife's local area who weren't invited at all but turned up to the ceremony because they wanted to see the wedding. I was a bit miffed about that tbh but it's the done thing around those parts and just more obvious with us because it wasn't a cavernous church they could slip into the back pew of.

Larbre34

lazygal wrote: »

Friends of my husband had a civil ceremony in a hotel. A random woman seated herself in a prominent spot and wouldn't move because 'she wanted to see what it was all about' given that she'd only ever attended church weddings. Celebrant said there was nothing that could be done, she couldn't be asked to move.

I don't know why the celebrant was even asked, they are an outsider to the hotel too. I'd have had the best man or a family member going down to say "sorry love, this isnt a church, its a private event, out you go" and if she got stroppy just get every invitee to turn around and stare at her until she pushed off and hold the ceremony until she did.

Every day I am continually surprised by the brass neck of some people.

Neyite

Larbre34 wrote: »

I don't know why the celebrant was even asked, they are an outsider to the hotel too. I'd have had the best man or a family member going down to say "sorry love, this isnt a church, its a private event, out you go" and if she got stroppy just get every invitee to turn around and stare at her until she pushed off and hold the ceremony until she did.

Every day I am continually surprised by the brass neck of some people.

It's not a private event if it's a legally binding ceremony. The after-party of course is private, but anyone can attend any legal wedding they want. And presumably sit where they want by the sounds of it.

MIRMIR82

I think it is very unfair to be honest. But if your meal isn't til 5, you won't be going into function room til after 4 and everyone should be gone at that stage....

MIRMIR82

MIRMIR82 wrote: »

I think it is very unfair to be honest. But if your meal isn't til 5, you won't be going into function room til after 4 and everyone should be gone at that stage....

But the room would have surely been setup earlier than this? The florist could have been and gone, the cake delivered and setup. What happens if the people from the fayre start poking the setup?

I wouldn’t be happy

jimmycrackcorm

paddyirish23 wrote:

Nothing on the contract about them having the right to hold anything like this either. Thoughts?

You mean that there is nothing on the contract to stop them holding this. You can't have an open ended contract about having unspecified rights as that's impossible.

Anyway just bring it to their attention and ask what is the possible impact to your wedding re the public wandering in and out. You could possibly push for a discount or some other benefit.

SusieBlue

I would most definitely be getting a solicitor involved at this point. I would want it in writing that none of this will interfere with your day, no outside guests will be permitted into the reception, no one will access the bridal suite, etc.

This is the most important day of your life. You have obviously invested a lot in this, both financially and emotionally. I know that weddings are expensive enough but visiting a solicitor will do no harm. If the hotel go back on their word, you'll be kicking yourself you didn't get legal advice before the big day. Protect yourself as best you can.

For what its worth I don't think you are being dramatic and would also be worried if I was in your situation.

whoopsadoodles

You also have to remember to strike a balance with the hotel, so that you aren't fighting with them two weeks before your wedding as this could certainly impact the service you receive.

Try to come to an amicable solution first if possible.

GreeBo

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

You also have to remember to strike a balance with the hotel, so that you aren't fighting with them two weeks before your wedding as this could certainly impact the service you receive.

Try to come to an amicable solution first if possible.

+1

you dont want them turning around and cancelling you.