Hotel have advertised a wedding open day on the day of our wedding

mrs.doubt.fire · 13-12-2017 09:40AM

Have a look at which hospitality organisation has graded the hotel X number of stars (example... Failte Ireland, the AA etc) you can complain to them and let them know what the hotel did wrong, I know this for a fact as I'm in the Hospitality business my self. Take your time to write your complaint to them and enclose a clear photo-copy of your wedding contract and a photo-copy of your receipt of payment for the wedding dinner etc, all of that is PROOF, they will then have a meeting with the Hotel to see why they did this to you on your big day as they have to hear both sides of the story, depending on their assessment of the situation, the Hotel could lose a star ..or all their stars!! If they lose all their star ratings from which ever hospitality company they are with, they will be kicked off that hospitality company as members and never allowed back as members, and by the way...hotels have to pay an annual membership fee to be with any hospitality company and its not cheap, if they are kicked off, they dont get a refund of their membership payment and no Hotel wants to be no star rating, it's not good for business.
As for letting people into your bedroom / bridal suite...no that's not on, they can not do that!! Just like they can not let anyone into your room any time of year even if there is no wedding, once a guest has checked in that room is off limits to everyone including staff unless you contacted reception and asked for them to come to your room for room service, to fix something, housekeeping etc But they (the hotel) certainly can not use the bridal suite bed room as a selling tool to prospective future wedding couples while it's already taken.

whoopsadoodles · 13-12-2017 09:53AM

With regards to relatives you don't want there showing up; just be aware that a wedding is a public event and technically no one can be refused entry to the ceremony.

Try to keep the head when you're talking to them. Be rational and stick to facts, otherwise they'll just ignore the important points you're making.

I'd be concerned that they could tell you the bridal suite isn't available as I know they always have it in the Ts&Cs that use of it is subject to availability

c6ysaphjvqw41k · 13-12-2017 09:59AM

This post has been deleted.

13-12-2017 10:18AM

I’d be peeved right now too OP. The cake and flowers/decorations that you have chosen will probably have been set up already. They’ll be people popping in to have a look, what happens if someone trips? Yeah, I know that could happen with your own guests too but these are people you haven’t invited and god knows how many there will be.

Also, nosiness gets the better of all of us. Hand on heart, if I went to a wedding fayre and an actual wedding was going on I think I’d be sneaking peeks. Different story now I’ve had my wedding but before that, it’s possible I could have imposed due to being in the excited phase. How many “me” could be at this fayre?

paddyirish23 · 13-12-2017 10:18AM

Just had an email back saying rest assured the open day won't impact on our day and that they do this for weddings regularly. I still can't see how it won't as it's overlapping with our reception time.
I'd rather not go down the route of ruining a hotel's name at least not until it actually did impact our day.
They have open days every few months on sundays or mid week with the room done up so I can't see why they've decided now to do it on our day. I actually remember when booking it they had a wedding on that day and no-one was allowed view the room due to the wedding and that was early in the morning I was there!

Sunny Dayz · 13-12-2017 10:48AM

Has the hotel got a number of function rooms? If it doesn't I fail to see how it won't impact on your day. Having been to weddings and wedding fairs (never at the same time) it's a busy time for a hotel. Car park is full, reception area is milling with people. A hotel trying to coordinate a wedding and a wedding fair at the same time?

Wedding fairs are usually held on a Sunday because that's a day that weddings aren't generally held so the function room, hotel and suppliers are all available. Also this isn't the time of year for a wedding fair, often they are in late Jan/early Feb to catch those who get engaged over the Christmas.

whoopsadoodles · 13-12-2017 11:35AM

You need to email asking for specific answers to the following questions:

- will suite availability, check in time or otherwise, be affected by this event?

- will anyone other than the bridal party and staff have access, however short, to the bridal suite at any point during the day?

- will the open day visitors have access to the wedding reception area while your guests are in the hotel?

- will the open day visitors have access to the function room while your guests are in the hotel?

- what is the agenda for the open day?

- what person will be available on the day that you can contact if you are in any way unhappy with proceedings?

lazygal · 13-12-2017 11:46AM

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

With regards to relatives you don't want there showing up; just be aware that a wedding is a public event and technically no one can be refused entry to the ceremony.

Only if the ceremony is legally binding. One of the reasons our 'big' day wasn't legally binding was so a couple of relatives who are trouble could be told to get lost if they turned up.

Neyite · 13-12-2017 12:04PM

lazygal wrote: »

Only if the ceremony is legally binding. One of the reasons our 'big' day wasn't legally binding was so a couple of relatives who are trouble could be told to get lost if they turned up.

Plus it's the ceremony that is required to be public (if legally binding)

A reception in a hotel is a private party, and not required to be open to the public.

If the function room is available for random people to even 'peek' in to see a wedding celebration in full swing, then there is the very real chance that the very people the OP wanted to exclude from her wedding day gain entry and do their disruptive thing.

whoopsadoodles · 13-12-2017 12:07PM

lazygal wrote: »

Only if the ceremony is legally binding. One of the reasons our 'big' day wasn't legally binding was so a couple of relatives who are trouble could be told to get lost if they turned up.

You are correct of course, I should have said marriage rather than wedding also.

Neyite wrote: »

Plus it's the ceremony that is required to be public (if legally binding)
.

I did specify ceremony.

lazygal · 13-12-2017 12:07PM

Neyite wrote: »

Plus it's the ceremony that is required to be public (if legally binding)

A reception in a hotel is a private party, and not required to be open to the public.

If the function room is available for random people to even 'peek' in to see a wedding celebration in full swing, then there is the very real chance that the very people the OP wanted to exclude from her wedding day gain entry and do their disruptive thing.

Friends of my husband had a civil ceremony in a hotel. A random woman seated herself in a prominent spot and wouldn't move because 'she wanted to see what it was all about' given that she'd only ever attended church weddings. Celebrant said there was nothing that could be done, she couldn't be asked to move.

baby and crumble · 13-12-2017 01:00PM

lazygal wrote: »

Friends of my husband had a civil ceremony in a hotel. A random woman seated herself in a prominent spot and wouldn't move because 'she wanted to see what it was all about' given that she'd only ever attended church weddings. Celebrant said there was nothing that could be done, she couldn't be asked to move.

:eek:

Surely she could've been asked to move to the back of the room or something?

There were people from my wife's local area who weren't invited at all but turned up to the ceremony because they wanted to see the wedding. I was a bit miffed about that tbh but it's the done thing around those parts and just more obvious with us because it wasn't a cavernous church they could slip into the back pew of.

Larbre34 · 13-12-2017 01:25PM

lazygal wrote: »

Friends of my husband had a civil ceremony in a hotel. A random woman seated herself in a prominent spot and wouldn't move because 'she wanted to see what it was all about' given that she'd only ever attended church weddings. Celebrant said there was nothing that could be done, she couldn't be asked to move.

I don't know why the celebrant was even asked, they are an outsider to the hotel too. I'd have had the best man or a family member going down to say "sorry love, this isnt a church, its a private event, out you go" and if she got stroppy just get every invitee to turn around and stare at her until she pushed off and hold the ceremony until she did.

Every day I am continually surprised by the brass neck of some people.

Neyite · 13-12-2017 01:30PM

Larbre34 wrote: »

I don't know why the celebrant was even asked, they are an outsider to the hotel too. I'd have had the best man or a family member going down to say "sorry love, this isnt a church, its a private event, out you go" and if she got stroppy just get every invitee to turn around and stare at her until she pushed off and hold the ceremony until she did.

Every day I am continually surprised by the brass neck of some people.

It's not a private event if it's a legally binding ceremony. The after-party of course is private, but anyone can attend any legal wedding they want. And presumably sit where they want by the sounds of it.

MIRMIR82 · 13-12-2017 01:32PM

I think it is very unfair to be honest. But if your meal isn't til 5, you won't be going into function room til after 4 and everyone should be gone at that stage....

13-12-2017 01:37PM

MIRMIR82 wrote: »

I think it is very unfair to be honest. But if your meal isn't til 5, you won't be going into function room til after 4 and everyone should be gone at that stage....

But the room would have surely been setup earlier than this? The florist could have been and gone, the cake delivered and setup. What happens if the people from the fayre start poking the setup?

I wouldn’t be happy

jimmycrackcorm · 13-12-2017 01:47PM

paddyirish23 wrote:

Nothing on the contract about them having the right to hold anything like this either. Thoughts?

You mean that there is nothing on the contract to stop them holding this. You can't have an open ended contract about having unspecified rights as that's impossible.

Anyway just bring it to their attention and ask what is the possible impact to your wedding re the public wandering in and out. You could possibly push for a discount or some other benefit.

SusieBlue · 13-12-2017 01:50PM

I would most definitely be getting a solicitor involved at this point. I would want it in writing that none of this will interfere with your day, no outside guests will be permitted into the reception, no one will access the bridal suite, etc.

This is the most important day of your life. You have obviously invested a lot in this, both financially and emotionally. I know that weddings are expensive enough but visiting a solicitor will do no harm. If the hotel go back on their word, you'll be kicking yourself you didn't get legal advice before the big day. Protect yourself as best you can.

For what its worth I don't think you are being dramatic and would also be worried if I was in your situation.

whoopsadoodles · 13-12-2017 02:13PM

You also have to remember to strike a balance with the hotel, so that you aren't fighting with them two weeks before your wedding as this could certainly impact the service you receive.

Try to come to an amicable solution first if possible.

GreeBo · 13-12-2017 02:14PM

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

You also have to remember to strike a balance with the hotel, so that you aren't fighting with them two weeks before your wedding as this could certainly impact the service you receive.

Try to come to an amicable solution first if possible.

+1

you dont want them turning around and cancelling you.

GarIT · 13-12-2017 03:10PM

MIRMIR82 wrote: »

I think it is very unfair to be honest. But if your meal isn't til 5, you won't be going into function room til after 4 and everyone should be gone at that stage....

OP has said on the first page that their reception starts at 2 and dinner is at 5. The fair ends at 4.

If I were OP I'd be insisting on the hotel providing security to ensure that once the set up starts nobody without an invite has a look into the room.

If it was me I'd have a friend I could trust hang out naked in the bridal suite for a while between checking in and the reception. At the very least I'd put out the do not disturb signs as soon as you arrive.

GarIT · 13-12-2017 03:11PM

GreeBo wrote: »

+1

you dont want them turning around and cancelling you.

2 weeks before a wedding you'd be able to sue for damages unless something out of the hotel's control happened like a fire or a flood.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 13-12-2017 03:26PM

GarIT wrote: »

If it was me I'd have a friend I could trust hang out naked in the bridal suite for a while between checking in and the reception.

Could I be a party to that conversation please?

GreeBo · 13-12-2017 03:29PM

GarIT wrote: »

2 weeks before a wedding you'd be able to sue for damages unless something out of the hotel's control happened like a fire or a flood.

well if the OP starts kicking up a fuss (with good reason imo) then there might be something in the contract that the hotel can use to get out of it.

perhaps the hotel can sure for damages if the OP is going to prevent them form holding the wedding fayre as they typically do?

Either way, its not really what you want to be focusing on at this stage.

Mark Hamill · 13-12-2017 05:13PM

OP, I would be contacting the hotel manager and ask him who you should billing for your advertising services. 3 hours of using your wedding to advertise the hotel, multiplied by whatever you have setup outside of the hotel and all of the extras (guests) you are supplying, would add to quite a bill.

Neyite wrote: »

It's not a private event if it's a legally binding ceremony. The after-party of course is private, but anyone can attend any legal wedding they want. And presumably sit where they want by the sounds of it.

Googling this and it does appear to be true, except it seems for ceremonies solemnised in private dwellings:

The requirement that the marriage be solemnised in "a place that is open to the public" precludes marriages being solemnised in a private dwelling or a courtyard, garden, yard, field or piece of ground that is lying near to and usually enjoyed with the private dwelling.

wench · 13-12-2017 06:18PM

Mark Hamill wrote: »

Googling this and it does appear to be true, except it seems for ceremonies solemnised in private dwellings:

It says ceremonies can't be held in private dwellings as it must be open to the public.

paddyirish23 · 13-12-2017 08:33PM

I couldn't get over today so ill meet them the weekend but they have said check in at 3 and they will have the bridal suite free from then on but I still think they are trying to pull a fast one as they have the open day on until 4pm. I don't want to even argue I just want it moved to the morning or cancelled. We don't want people they have invited to an open day at our reception full stop and if they keep that time then that's what will happen.

PhoenixParker · 13-12-2017 09:19PM

Is there any wording in your contract about being the only wedding in the venue that day. What specifically does that say?

appledrop · 13-12-2017 10:06PM

This is disgraceful really feel for you. Everyone wants there wedding to be a special day + it's not on having a wedding open day when a wedding is on! Don't even understand how logisticially they can manage this. Any ones we went to were always held in reception room in hotel + had various wedding supplies etc at the event + loads of different table settings etc so people had an idea of layout? Where are they going to put all those people? If I went to one of these events + found out wedding that day no way id book with them. It's also going to take up wedding planner time when they should be focusing on your wedding!

I have had appointments with wedding coordinators in hotels + they might show you the reception room for a wedding taking place that day but that would be hours beforehand + no big deal.

13-12-2017 10:18PM

At a wedding fair they have function rooms decked out for weddings so you get to see the tables made up. These are usually held on Sunday.

I don't see how they can cater for a wedding show and your wedding at the same time. Doesn't make sense to me.

Edit
I'd be looking for a big discount if my wedding being used to sell other weddings

Hotel have advertised a wedding open day on the day of our wedding

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