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MIL Xmas Present for Son
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12-12-2017 05:52AM#1
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Just to illustrate OP. My wife's sister is our daughter's godmother. She is the bossy, i know best type but very generous. Our daughter was 6 months old and she bought her a Blackboard. You are thinking, as we were when she bought it, that what does a six month old need a blackboard for? It says Ages 5+ on the box. We asked her why she bought it and she said it was reduced to 30 from 60, a bargain! It is currently sitting for the last 6 months in their house (in their spare front room) not ours. My wife says it's starting to get in her elderly mother's way. And we need to take it down and store it for the next 4 years in the attic. I'm not budging.
Now she, generous as she is, was subsequently asked to not buy big space consuming presents until they were actually age appropriate i.e. establishing a boundary. A week later she was excited about what she was getting our daughter for Christmas. She was getting her a big carriage. The kind of thing a 4 year old would play with. She was told politely not to buy that. She would be only one years old at Christmas and it's not appropriate as discussed. If there is a carriage bought for Christmas, which wouldn't surprise me one bit, I'll give you one guess where it will be sitting unopened if she doesn't return it when requested
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At two or three a child would have a tricycle, not a bike. Even at 4 it's likely they would have stabilisers.up for anything wrote: »You're a bit late with the bike. I'm curious as to when you think the time is right. Most kids would have gotten their first bike between two and three years old I would have thought. The earlier they get it the less hassle it is for them to learn how to ride them - a bit like driving.
I'd always be only too glad for the grannies to get what they liked for my kids. It strikes me that having already gotten on the wrong side of you she will never get back on the right side. For my money it's a lovely gesture and you're not going to bronze the thing when it's knackered and he's finished with it so I don't quite see the 'we want to get it' aspect.
How and ever if you don't want her to get it it's probably easier for her daughter to say it to her than you.
I honestly don't think the op is being unreasonable here. He's stated that the MIL has been repeatedly asked not to buy this one gift as the parents feel that it's a gift they would like to give. I think any reasonable granny would say "ok fair enough, I wanted to buy it but if it's important to you, I'll get something else". End of conversation.
The op has said the MIL has form for not going along with them. How long do you put up with that? Like I said earlier, if they give in now, do they have to give in when granny wants to buy a phone or a console? Do they still say nothing to keep the peace?
The op and his partner feed and cloth this child. They are responsible for him and have to make all the hard decisions in his life. They are the parents. It's up to them to decide when he gets certain gifts. No one has the right to over rule them unless they are abusing the child.
The op has is not some freak who thinks that children should never have a bike, he just wants to wait until the child is older. I really don't see anything wrong with this and the MIL should respect the wishes of the parents. I honestly don't understand why people are telling the op to bow down to the MIL. If a MIL opened a thread and said
I seriously doubt that granny would be told that she is in the right and op is being selfish and needs to let it go. There has been a lot of anecdotal stories above about children getting presents from their grandparents and they were really happy about it but think of it this way - you were looking at it from a childs point of view. Maybe it was a family tradition or maybe there were times your grandparents stepped over the line and your parents were p!ssed off but never let on to you!!I want to buy my four year old grandson a bike for Christmas but my daughter and son-in-law have asked me on more than one occasion not to buy it as they feel the time is not right now and it's something they want to buy them in the future but I disagree with this. I'm going to buy it anyway and turn up with it on Christmas day and because they are family, I expect them to bite their tongues and just accept it.
I am this child's grandmother. As a grandmother, all gifts from me should be greeted with gratitude. So the parents asked me not to do it. I think my daughter doesn't mind that much and my SIL is being selfish. He should just put up and shut up and I should be allowed to buy my grandchild whatever gift I deem appropriate.
I think I am right. What do you guys think?
Op sounds mature enough not to overreact if granny does turn up with a bike but I don't think him and his partner should be put in that situation. They asked her not to buy a bike. There's a million other toys she could buy. She's the grandparent, not the parent. It's not her call to make.
Op Happy Christmas
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Just to give you a different angle on this. I learned to cycle when I was 3 I remember my grandmother & grandfather (from different sides of the family) and parents were also present that day. (I, only knew one grand mother & one grandfather as my other grandfather/grandmother had passed away before I was born.) this memory of learning to cycle has stayed with me the last 21 years purely because I felt it was such an achievement. Which I shared with the people I was so fond of. I have no idea who got me the bike. That's not important at all.
My grandmother also thought me many other things when I was young. She thought me to tie my shoe laces, to read, spell and also to tell the time. She also brought me many places. My grandmother has most definitely been a huge part of my childhood and I'm delighted to have such fond memories of her today.
My grandfather was a large influence in my development as well, I wouldn't have the religious beliefs and faith I do today without him.
My parents thought me other lessons, they thought me to work, drive, manage money, set a good example for my siblings, to try my best and that I can achieve anything I put my mind to and finally they thought me right from wrong.
My point is Op, you'll have the largest influence in your childrens lives. You will also be there for birthdays, graduations, weddings, the birth of your grand children. etc etc.. As well as this, you'll teach you children the same life lessons my parents thought and teach me to this day which will have the largest influence on them and their development.
It's nice to have memories, that's what really matter. But a bike is only a material object. Which you forget about once it get broken, lost and thrown out.. 0 -
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