Is it ever acceptable for a man to hit a woman?

Riddle101

Tell me how wrote: »

Would you take the exact same approach if it was a male doing the assaulting?

To an extent I would still say the same if it was a man doing the assaulting. However admittedly I think if it was a man i'd find it harder to turn the other cheek than with a woman. I guess i'm a sexist in that regard. I'm just not about hitting women.

SuperSean11

Tell me how

Riddle101 wrote:

To an extent I would still say the same if it was a man doing the assaulting. However admittedly I think if it was a man i'd find it harder to turn the other cheek than with a woman. I guess i'm a sexist in that regard. I'm just not about hitting women.

That wouldn't be too uncommon I imagine.

I wonder would vocal (staunch) feminists praise or boo you for being sexist in that way?

JackTaylorFan

theteal

Now if she had a bottle......or knew karate....

Peatys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rksKvZoUCPQ

Omackeral

Omackeral wrote: »

On another thread, this subject was a focal point. A poster said the following;

I really hate this backlash against feminism and people reaching for the whole "oh well if a woman throws a slap she deserves to get a slap back".

This kind of attitude is just as dangerous to me. If a woman does throw a slap, it's a bit rich if she doesn't expect one back. Why should anyone take a slap from anyone? F*ck that noise. I myself have been slapped by a particular woman for basically nothing. When she did it the first time I was shocked. The second time I was p*ssed off and the third time I was furious and it hurt because it was a full on punch in the face with rings on. I told her in no uncertain terms that if there was a fourth one coming she could expect a receipt. There wasn't. Now, I've never ever hit a woman and I like to think I never would but how many times should you let someone punch the **** out of you?

I know the answer to this question is that nobody should ever hit anybody but what's your opinion here if something like the above occurs?

That was me.

And the interesting thing in your post is that for all the "one slap deserves one back, whatever the gender", you say you were slapped/punched 3 times by a woman...and not once did you punch her back. Doesn't your inaction contradict your assertion? Would you really tolerate 3 separate punches from a man without reacting?

Omackeral

[Deleted User] wrote: »

That was me.

And the interesting thing in your post is that for all the "one slap deserves one back, whatever the gender", you say you were slapped/punched 3 times by a woman...and not once did you punch her back. Doesn't your inaction contradict your assertion? Would you really tolerate 3 separate punches from a man without reacting?

I know it was you Conor, just didn't think it was right to name drop you without telling you but welcome.

Well it does and it doesn't contradict my stance. See, I say that I wouldn't feel bad if I saw a woman get an exact replica from a guy for throwing a slap or punch at him. I wouldn't have much sympathy for her to be honest and could argue she deserves it if she was especially vicious or vindictive.

Having said that, yes it happened to me and I didn't respond in kind. I think you can agree with/have a view on something even if you wouldn't be comfortable doing it yourself. Again, if I had had have gotten a few more digs or she had a weapon, I possibly would have struck out.

To answer your question, I wouldn't hesitate to come back at a male assailants. I have hesitated to do so with a female. You could call it hypocritical I guess but I think it's more a shades of grey. Overall, I wouldn't feel right hitting a girl but if I saw one getting a smack back after being the aggressor, I wouldn't shed a tear for her.

Gijoseph

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Only in self-defence

This applies to both genders.

andekwarhola

I wouldn't castigate a man for doing it (in proportion) in certain self defence situations but personally I not sure I could ever do it but then again, I'd have to be in one of those self defence situations instead of holding forth on the internet.

sbsquarepants

I don't think it's all that acceptable to channel bruce lee on a woman, unless she's coming at you with a knife or something like that.
Even if she's throwing punches, unless she's Katie Taylor they aren't really going to hurt you, yes the might sting a bit or whatnot but the vast majority of women just aren't strong enough to do you any real damage.
I certainly wouldn't just leave her to hit me though, but I'd probably just push her over or something like that, you just can't go using a woman as a punch bag! (well there is the obvious exception of fish fingers for dinner - but surely they've all learned to stop that by now?)

suicide_circus

If you can throw a slap, you can take a slap. Any woman who throws a slap safe in the knowledge that she won't get one back by virtue of her gender is a coward.

That said, I got slapped by an ex gf more than once and I stood there and took it like a bitch because I was young and stupid and didn't know how to handle myself.

One eyed Jack

Omackeral wrote: »

To answer your question, I wouldn't hesitate to come back at a male assailants. I have hesitated to do so with a female. You could call it hypocritical I guess but I think it's more a shades of grey. Overall, I wouldn't feel right hitting a girl but if I saw one getting a smack back after being the aggressor, I wouldn't shed a tear for her.

I wouldn't call it hypocritical at all tbh, they're two completely different scenarios. These ideas and notions that some people have that both sexes are equal in all scenarios is nonsense.

Personally, I think you showed incredible restraint in your opening post. I could understand getting sucker punched the first time it happened, but allowing her to go back for seconds and thirds? After the first time I'd have picked her up, over the shoulder, carried her out and lobbed her outside the door till she cooled off.

I did like the warning that she was getting a receipt though

If i can't restrain her, then a 'light slap' is acceptable to me. Not the full strength of my arm though. I will not accept physical abuse from anyone. Restraining her is first and foremost. But honestly, if she goes for my eyes/face with her nails, I will slap her.

I haven't had training in restraining people and I'm pretty huge so it could be dangerous so I think the safest way for me to defend myself is swinging a big, fat fist.

Billy86

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

I have to be honest and say that if a woman slapped a man once and he slapped her back I wouldn't think much of her but I'd think less of him. I'm actually trying to explain why to myself right now though. Maybe because of the general difference in size and strength of men and women.

I get your point and see how you and others would reach that conclusion re size, but this is an attitude I also tend to disagree with - I'm about 5'10, 175ish so as close to smack bang average sized as you'd fine. I've known some women bigger than me but most are obviously smaller, one girl in particular I knew is 6'2, about 230, spends a lot of time in the gym, messes about in some boxing training and could throw any fella less than about 200lbs around the place without much effort.

But at the same time I'd guarantee if I threw the first punch/slap/etc at her the excuse that she's considerably bigger and stronger than me wouldn't hold up, and the same if she hit first and I hit back.

Nobody should be going around hitting people of course, though a woman hitting a man needs to be seen at least in the eyes of the law, exactly the same as a man hitting a woman.

Ush1

I kickbox and wouldn't be inclined to punch a woman at all as I don't think they could hurt me but if someone smaller is being annoying a push kick works wonders!:D

It doesn't really hurt them too bad but sends them flying in an embarrassing way so that they should stop being annoying.

Neyite

suicide_circus wrote: »

If you can throw a slap, you can take a slap. Any woman who throws a slap safe in the knowledge that she won't get one back by virtue of her gender is a coward.

I used to know a woman who would get aggressive with drink on board and pretty much every night out with her would involve her slapping some bloke, and it would be a proper eye-watering wallop too. She worked off the assumption that as a woman she wouldn't get a retaliatory one back. Well, one night she karma got her when a lad reflexively lamped her right back, and despite her playing the victim to ridiculous levels she got feck all sympathy from anyone and quite right too. She never slapped anyone again.

Omackeral

Omackeral wrote: »

I know it was you Conor, just didn't think it was right to name drop you without telling you but welcome.

Oh in fairness, there is nothing wrong at all with what you did. When I said "that was me" I wasn't doing it in a "just hold it right there" way!

The thread is perfectly legitimate...my main point is that bet you would actually check yourself from hitting a woman, and indeed you have done so. Because subconsciously (whether it be nature or nurture or morals or whatever) we know that hitting a woman really just is not one and the same as hitting a man, it's a lot uglier and would require far more extreme circumstances. I wouldn't say it's never possible, but the provocation would have to leave room for no other option. It's not an eye for an eye situation as it would be amongst men, because one almost assumes an imbalance in strength, exposure to contest in sports, traditional roles in society, in work etc.

Wibbs

Same as for men. Only in self defence and with reasonable force to subdue. Unless a weapon is involved then all bets are off.

Neyite

Neyite wrote: »

Well, one night she karma got her when a lad reflexively lamped her right back, and despite her playing the victim to ridiculous levels she got feck all sympathy from anyone and quite right too.

What she did was outrageous.

But the interesting thing is that night after night men didn't retaliate with punches, the only night it happened was when someone did it "reflexively". Again because we all know deep down, it's just not done.

Gijoseph

Neyite wrote: »

I used to know a woman who would get aggressive with drink on board and pretty much every night out with her would involve her slapping some bloke, and it would be a proper eye-watering wallop too. She worked off the assumption that as a woman she wouldn't get a retaliatory one back. Well, one night she karma got her when a lad reflexively lamped her right back, and despite her playing the victim to ridiculous levels she got feck all sympathy from anyone and quite right too. She never slapped anyone again.

The majority of people and a good few in here probably think they'd also get away with it. If you give me a slap you're getting one hell of a slap back no matter what your gender.

Crea

Years and years ago, back in my late teens I was going out with a guy. We were having a big argument and I slapped him in the face (stupid and immature I know). He then slapped me back - not nearly as hard as I slapped him and it didn't hurt at all but the shock if it made me stop in my tracks. He made it very clear that me hitting him was a deal breaker and he absolutely wouldn't tolerate it. He said that he only slapped back to show me how awful it was to be slapped (Which it is - it's really humiliating) and to stop me from hitting again.
The relationship lasted another 4 years and we never raised a hand to each other again.

sbsquarepants

Omackeral wrote: »

Or slap the soul out of them;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abqRbVNBPyc

The lesson to be taken from this is it's probably not wise to pick a row with the 7 foot odd ball on the subway:D

Outlaw Pete

Crea wrote: »

I slapped him in the face (stupid and immature I know).

Actually, I am surprised more women don't hit men these days as they have been raised in a society that constantly tells them that it's perfectly fine to do so. Ever since I was young, almost all forms of visual media have shown women slapping men in a context that it was either justified for the most trivial of reasons , or perfectly fine to be laughed at when shown as the punchline of a joke.

Course, in the olden days there was a mix and we saw men slapping women just as much back then in films as we see women slapping men today.

With regards to restraining a woman, doesn't always work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW8LvUvTZhA

heroics

theteal wrote: »

Now if she had a bottle......or knew karate....

Ha I was only watching this yesterday and thought of the same thing

I do not view the answer through the lens of gender at all. In general I do not feel it is acceptable to use violence at all. But insofar as I can imagine hypothetical situations where I would feel violence warranted at all - they are situations where the gender of the recipient would simply be relatively or entirely irrelevant.

In other words - the factors that would move me to violence in life are such that the gender of the person receiving that violence would simply not be relevant.

Larbre34

I've never needed to raised my hand in self defence to anyone, man or woman, but if to defend myself and my family from anyone I would be physical enough to put permanent distance between me and mine and that person, dont care the gender.

Say for example you were assaulted by a woman who was out of her mind on drugs or alcohol, where the normal physical limits can been exceeded and you are in real danger, thats certainly an acceptable scenario to hit a woman to defend yourself - Id put her lights out if needs be and be fully prepared to explain myself.

Omackeral

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Oh in fairness, there is nothing wrong at all with what you did. When I said "that was me" I wasn't doing it in a "just hold it right there" way!

The thread is perfectly legitimate...my main point is that bet you would actually check yourself from hitting a woman, and indeed you have done so. Because subconsciously (whether it be nature or nurture or morals or whatever) we know that hitting a woman really just is not one and the same as hitting a man, it's a lot uglier and would require far more extreme circumstances. I wouldn't say it's never possible, but the provocation would have to leave room for no other option. It's not an eye for an eye situation as it would be amongst men, because one almost assumes an imbalance in strength, exposure to contest in sports, traditional roles in society, in work etc.

I agree with probably all of that. It's well written and it resonates with me. Having said that, if I saw a woman getting an equal enough slap back after issuing one herself, I wouldn't have much in the way of sympathy for her.

Omackeral

[Deleted User] wrote: »

What she did was outrageous.

But the interesting thing is that night after night men didn't retaliate with punches, the only night it happened was when someone did it "reflexively". Again because we all know deep down, it's just not done.

I'd say she thought twice about doing it again after that though. I'd say she did it continuously because she was used to getting away with it time after time on the assumption that her gender was a shield.