Is it ever acceptable for a man to hit a woman?

Omackeral

On another thread, this subject was a focal point. A poster said the following;

I really hate this backlash against feminism and people reaching for the whole "oh well if a woman throws a slap she deserves to get a slap back".

This kind of attitude is just as dangerous to me. If a woman does throw a slap, it's a bit rich if she doesn't expect one back. Why should anyone take a slap from anyone? F*ck that noise. I myself have been slapped by a particular woman for basically nothing. When she did it the first time I was shocked. The second time I was p*ssed off and the third time I was furious and it hurt because it was a full on punch in the face with rings on. I told her in no uncertain terms that if there was a fourth one coming she could expect a receipt. There wasn't. Now, I've never ever hit a woman and I like to think I never would but how many times should you let someone punch the **** out of you?

I know the answer to this question is that nobody should ever hit anybody but what's your opinion here if something like the above occurs?

Jim Bob Scratcher

Only in self-defence

BrianBoru00

Well if the spuds weren't ready on time . . .

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

eviltwin

You should defend yourself, if that involves physical violence so be it. Just don't do overkill like the lad in that thread.

Cookie_Monster

if she's into that sorta thing...

cantdecide

Absolutely no one lays a hand on me in aggression but there's a big difference between self defence and vengeance.

LadyMacBeth_

I don't think it's really acceptable for people to be going around throwing slaps in general. I have to be honest and say that if a woman slapped a man once and he slapped her back I wouldn't think much of her but I'd think less of him. I'm actually trying to explain why to myself right now though. Maybe because of the general difference in size and strength of men and women. In your case OP she slapped you a few times so I think that's a different scenario, I'd understand you slapping her back. I don't know. Maybe don't slap people and if they slap you then try to restrain them rather than slap them back? If a man slapped a woman and she slapped him back I'd think it was deserved but somehow I think that men should restrain the woman if she slaps first. I know that is a sexist response and I'll have to think about that. It's just my gut feeling on it.

DivingDuck

Omackeral wrote: »

I know the answer to this question is that nobody should ever hit anybody but what's your opinion here if something like the above occurs?

If you can stop the person (any person) from hitting you without resorting to hitting them (leaving, putting something between you and them, restraining them, etc.), do so.

If you're in danger of actually being hurt, you need to defend yourself— so, if a girl slaps you, and she's not going to slap you again, slapping her is unnecessary. (Applies to men, too, for that matter.) If she's punching you and is going to continue to punch you, that's a different story.

The physical size of the people matters too. If you're built like David Spade and she's like Gabourey Sidibe, it's a very different scenario to you being Mike Tyson and her being one of the Olsen twins. If you're twice the person's size, you can probably restrain them without injuring them— and that would generally be the moral course of action in my book.

Omackeral

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

PB this isn't a woe is me post, I was just using an actual example of a time, thankfully the only time, it happened to me. Also, I know you meant after the fact but it'd be hard to call the guards as you're being punched in the face! Anyway, I didn't go that route but I did call up to her house (she was someone I have mutual friends with) the next day and told her parents exactly what had happened. The mother was like ''oh no not my daughter, she wouldn't'' whereas the Dad had clearly been there before with similar drama and seemed disgusted. He was only short of apologising to me and shook my hand.

I'm wondering though if she hit me say ten more times and I said enough's enough and shoved her and she went on her arse, would people then turn on me? I think many boozed up fellas would.

Omackeral

eviltwin wrote: »

You should defend yourself, if that involves physical violence so be it. Just don't do overkill like the lad in that thread.

That fella was a complete and utter scum bag and should be banged up for what he did. No comparison at all in my book.

HONKEY TONK

Equality

Tell me how

Omackeral wrote:

This kind of attitude is just as dangerous to me. If a woman does throw a slap, it's a bit rich if she doesn't expect one back. Why should anyone take a slap from anyone? F*ck that noise. I myself have been slapped by a particular woman for basically nothing. When she did it the first time I was shocked. The second time I was p*ssed off and the third time I was furious and it hurt because it was a full on punch in the face with rings on. I told her in no uncertain terms that if there was a fourth one coming she could expect a receipt. There wasn't. Now, I've never ever hit a woman and I like to think I never would but how many times should you let someone punch the **** out of you?

How can you say you'd like to think you'd never hit a woman when you've outlined in the same paragraph that the criteria required for you to hit one is simply that she hit you 4 times?



The only justification for hitting someone is if you or someone else is unfairly at risk of being seriously injured or worse and you have absolutely to other option but to use physical force to prevent that happening.

It's not an eye for an eye justification, it's only if it was/is a necessity.

The likelihood, in most circumstances is that a man would not to need to this because they can likely restrain a female without needing to hit them. This is due to simple physics for most average people of both sexes. Or more realistically, they can walk away without even putting hands on the other person.

I'm 38 and so far have never needed to assault someone, hopefully I won't in the next 38 years either.

If I'm ever in a position where I absolutely categorically need to hit someone, I hope I don't waste time thinking about it. Male or female.

SuperSean11

Only use the amount of force necessary to get out of the situation, male or female.

buried

I would never hit anybody and that is the truth. Even if I was being attacked. Violence is red chaos. People have no idea what they are capable of in red chaos. Chaos takes over and could take you down with it.

retro:electro

I don't think it's ever justified to hit someone just because they hit you. The only reason I'd ever use physical force and see it justified in any case would be if you needed to defend yourself from harm. Not to settle scores or retaliate and be like equality ya'll.

Ficheall

Is it okay to kick a midget if they kick you first?

Noel82

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

Shíte.. it's totally acceptable if you feel like you're in danger

buried

Noel82 wrote: »

Shíte.. it's totally acceptable if you feel like you're in danger

You defend yourself, You hit them, they fall down and slit open their head on a street curb and be dead. Then you are F**ked.

Omackeral

Tell me how wrote: »

How can you say you'd like to think you'd never hit a woman when you've outlined in the same paragraph that the criteria required for you to hit one is simply that she hit you 4 times?

Well I didn't say that's the criteria at all really did I? You see you can have an idea of what you'd like to think you'd do in a situation and then you can actually be in a situation and everything you thought you'd do doesn't come into it because you're there getting stiffed into the face. Self preservation and reactive instincts become a factor.

AllForIt

If a woman hit me I wouldn't lash out at her but I would put her over my knee and give her a good slap across the backside.

Omackeral

Tell me how wrote: »

The likelihood, in most circumstances is that a man would not to need to this because they can likely restrain a female without needing to hit them. This is due to simple physics for most average people of both sexes. Or more realistically, they can walk away without even putting hands on the other person.

That's not always the case at all though. Hard to walk away when someone is reigning down slaps on you and following you around doing it.

dok_golf

Ficheall wrote: »

Is it okay to kick a midget if they kick you first?

That's different. They would only be able to kick you in the ankle. You would kick them in the head.

dok_golf

If a man or woman throws a punch or slap, then they should expect one back.

Omackeral

anna080 wrote: »

I don't think it's ever justified to hit someone just because they hit you.

I don't think I agree with that. Same goes for if some piece of sh*t hit my gf for example, I'd absolutely smack him. Wouldn't even think about it. You wouldn't think that's justified?

StupidLikeAFox

It's only ever acceptable to hit someone with a little ghetto gospel

Omackeral

dok_golf wrote: »

If a man or woman throws a punch or slap, then they should expect one back.

I agree. I like to think I'd never do it back to a woman but at the same time if I saw one dishing out a slap and getting one back off a fella, I wouldn't feel the slightest bit sorry for her. I can see the grey area though, it's kinda tricky.

retro:electro

Omackeral wrote: »

I don't think I agree with that. Same goes for if some piece of sh*t hit my gf for example, I'd absolutely smack him. Wouldn't even think about it. You wouldn't think that's justified?

Fair point.
I know if some dude went for me my boyfriend would swing for them no questions asked. I guess it's not solely down to defence at the end of the day. There can be other factors involved too.
Anyway, I'd probably end up causing more damage to msyelf by trying to throw a punch than if I was the one getting decked :pac:

Tell me how

Omackeral wrote:

That's not always the case at all though. Hard to walk away when someone is reigning down slaps on you and following you around doing it.

I'm not trying to be annoyingly argumentative but if they're following you around, you're moving. If you're moving, can you not leave the area?

Would you think it would be wrong for a guy to lock himself in a room to prevent a female hitting him or do you think he should hit her to get her to stop?

Omackeral

StupidLikeAFox wrote: »

It's only ever acceptable to hit someone with a little ghetto gospel

Or slap the soul out of them;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abqRbVNBPyc

Actually the full version of that video below shows the girl harassing people aggressively. She starts on this guy and he has none of it. Hits her back and all hell breaks loose. The look on her face at around 1:05 is one of pure scumminess.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f7EBEQCBHc

Tell me how

StupidLikeAFox wrote:

It's only ever acceptable to hit someone with a little ghetto gospel

The username made this post even better than it was. Which was awesome.

Are Am Eye

Ficheall wrote: »

Is it okay to kick a midget if they kick you first?

Hmmm. Midget woman?

SuperSean11

Omackeral wrote: »

I don't think I agree with that. Same goes for if some piece of sh*t hit my gf for example, I'd absolutely smack him. Wouldn't even think about it. You wouldn't think that's justified?

What if it turns out your girlfriends a member of ISIS...where’s the line?

Omackeral

Tell me how wrote: »

I'm not trying to be annoyingly argumentative but if they're following you around, you're moving. If you're moving, can you not leave the area?

What if you're on a bus, say the Nightlink. Full of drunks, full of arguments. Can't always remove yourself.

Tell me how wrote: »

Would you think it would be wrong for a guy to lock himself in a room to prevent a female hitting him or do you think he should hit her to get her to stop?

You could make a case for either to be honest.

Tell me how

Omackeral wrote:

What if you're on a bus, say the Nightlink. Full of drunks, full of arguments. Can't always remove yourself.

Yes, you can. It's an inconvenience maybe, but you can.

Omackeral wrote:

You could make a case for either to be honest.

But isn't that the question you've asked here?

So, you're in your apartment, your gf is aggressive and slapping you. Do you A: lock yourself in ensuite until she's calmed down, B: leave the apartment or C: hit her?

SuperSean11

Tell me how wrote: »

Yes, you can. It's an inconvenience maybe, but you can.



But isn't that the question you've asked here?

So, you're in your apartment, your gf is aggressive and slapping you. Do you A: lock yourself in ensuite until she's calmed down, B: leave the apartment or C: hit her?

Oh I saw this one on pornhub, ye call the Gardai, 2 bean guards come and have sex with you while the gf pouts.

Omackeral

Tell me how wrote: »

Yes, you can. It's an inconvenience maybe, but you can.

You're on a subway then. Or a train. You can't always just leave. Besides, they can keep up the assault on you if you attempt to leave.

Tell me how wrote: »

So, you're in your apartment, your gf is aggressive and slapping you. Do you A: lock yourself in ensuite until she's calmed down, B: leave the apartment or C: hit her?

Option Leave her. Wouldn't be with an abusive partner.

But hypothetically if it did happen. I wouldn't hit someone I love and care about unless they had a knife or something. It's a completely different scenario when talking about some random drunk scumbag assaulting you.

So, you're in your apartment, your gf is aggressive and slapping you. Do you A: lock yourself in ensuite until she's calmed down, B: leave the apartment or C: hit her?

Change the gender roles. It's not even about physical disparity at this stage you're throwing out an absolute nonsensical proposition that one person should not only bear all responsibility for being the target of another's aggression but that they should imprison themselves rather than take steps to defend themselves or retaliate?

Cmon.

Tell me how

SuperSean11 wrote:

Oh I saw this one on pornhub, ye call the Gardai, 2 bean guards come and have sex with you while the gf pouts.

Gardai on PH? Calls for some research.

Omackeral

SuperSean11 wrote: »

Oh I saw this one on pornhub, ye call the Gardai, 2 bean guards come and have sex with you while the gf pouts.

That happened like one time ever.

Are Am Eye

Tell me how wrote: »

Gardai on PH? Calls for some research.

Search "carla"

Outlaw Pete

How can she slap?!

Tell me how

Deleted User wrote:

Change the gender roles. It's not even about physical disparity at this stage you're throwing out an absolute nonsensical proposition that one person should not only bear all responsibility for being the target of another's aggression but that they should imprison themselves rather than take steps to defend themselves or retaliate?

So I take it you would hit someone rather than try to avoid them hitting you?

I'm not suggesting you're right or wrong, I'm suggesting that you'd have chosen to do so and couldn't say you had no alternative option.

Are Am Eye

In the right time and the right place you can hit her with some Barry White.

SuperSean11

Are Am Eye wrote: »

In the right time and the right place you can hit her with some Barry White.

Dirty bastard

http://www.slang.ie/mobile/index.php?search=Barry+white

Tell me how

Ok, if we're going that way.

Ian Dury. Hit me with your rhythm stick.

Surely stopping a row to play that on your phone would be an interesting approach.

Tell me how

Tell me how wrote: »

So I take it you would hit someone rather than try to avoid them hitting you?

I'm not suggesting you're right or wrong, I'm suggesting that you'd have chosen to do so and couldn't say you had no alternative option.

I'd imagine I'd avoid or control if I could. Defend if I couldn't. Whether I'd retaliate or attempt to do so I don't honestly now but I think "should" is an easy word to type.

I can't imagine that anyone would argue that locking yourself in the jacks after being subjected to assault is a healthy reaction.

Tell me how

Deleted User wrote:

I'd imagine I'd avoid or control if I could. Defend if I couldn't. Whether I'd retaliate or attempt to do so I don't honestly now but I think "should" is an easy word to type.

I can't imagine that anyone would argue that locking yourself in the jacks after being subjected to assault is a healthy reaction.

So you say you'd try to avoid but thinking doing so by putting a locked door between you and the attacker would be unhealthy.

Why?

SuperSean11

Tell me how wrote: »

So you say you'd try to avoid but thinking doing so by putting a locked door between you and the attacker would be unhealthy.

Why?

They could burn the house down with you inside.

Tell me how

Tell me how wrote: »

So you say you'd try to avoid but thinking doing so by putting a locked door between you and the attacker would be unhealthy.

Why?

Fair question

Assault is a traumatic event. I think adding to it by taking an extremely passive role such as described would make it all the more so.

Healthier for the person being assaulted to grab the baseball bat and start laying into them. Minimises self esteem issues going fwd and also greatly diminishes the odds of a repeat performance.

Tell me how

Omackeral wrote:

Option Leave her. Wouldn't be with an abusive partner.

How do you think people ultimately find themselves in abusive relationships? It's not like it's a personality trait you can tick in POF?

Omackeral wrote:

But hypothetically if it did happen. I wouldn't hit someone I love and care about unless they had a knife or something. It's a completely different scenario when talking about some random drunk scumbag assaulting you.

That's the "they deserved it" defence. It's not a recommended one in a court of law though is it?