Co-worker is a dirtbag

Flex

Take off and nuke the whole site from orbit, its the only way to be sure.

valoren

A man in our office makes a full dinner usually spuds, ham, cabbage and gravy for his lunch a few times a week then eats it at his desk with a knife and fork scraping them on the plate to get every last morsel of it.

He also has the habit of eating without closing his gob and the slurry of spuds, cabbage and gravy is audibly sloshed around his gob as if his lower jaw is somehow heavier than the rest of his head. That lip smacking, chomping and slurping eating habit is high on my list of 'Excuses to murder you' :pac:

I used to sit directly opposite but we moved desks in a reshuffle so no longer hear it thankfully.

Someone mentioned it's better to say something to people but being the eccentric man he is in general any mention of it would in all probability illicit nothing more than a wide eyed stare of bemusement and complete ignorance. I think people like that are in a world of their own.

Cee-Jay-Cee

1874 wrote: »

He cooked his dinner in work? wow

Yeah we had a fully kitted our kitchen so he would bring in all his vegetables and put them in the steamer mid morning and he usually took his break around 3pm. He also showered and shaved at Work, ironed his shirt, came in early to have breakfast etc etc basically he was the most miserable bastard ever and would do anything and everything possible to avoid using his own electricity at home.

Another thing he would do is put car in neutral going down hill thinking he’s saving fuel. I never told him that he was actually using more fuel doing that.

LithiumKid1976

valoren wrote: »

A man in our office makes a full dinner usually spuds, ham, cabbage and gravy for his lunch a few times a week then eats it at his desk with a knife and fork scraping them on the plate to get every last morsel of it.

He also has the habit of eating without closing his gob and the slurry of spuds, cabbage and gravy is audibly sloshed around his gob as if his lower jaw is somehow heavier than the rest of his head. That lip smacking, chomping and slurping eating habit is high on my list of 'Excuses to murder you' :pac:

I used to sit directly opposite but we moved desks in a reshuffle so no longer hear it thankfully.

Someone mentioned it's better to say something to people but being the eccentric man he is in general any mention of it would in all probability illicit nothing more than a wide eyed stare of bemusement and complete ignorance. I think people like that are in a world of their own.

the slurry of spuds, cabbage and gravy is audibly sloshed around his gob
that line is perfect, simply perfect..... made me laugh anyway!

pilly

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

Yeah we had a fully kitted our kitchen so he would bring in all his vegetables and put them in the steamer mid morning and he usually took his break around 3pm. He also showered and shaved at Work, ironed his shirt, came in early to have breakfast etc etc basically he was the most miserable bastard ever and would do anything and everything possible to avoid using his own electricity at home.

Another thing he would do is put car in neutral going down hill thinking he’s saving fuel. I never told him that he was actually using more fuel doing that.

Ah jaysus, I feel sorry for him, maybe he was homeless?

AllForIt

I ate a whole cauliflour today, raw. Actually it just happened to be rather small I wouldn't normally eat a whole one in a day. I'm on a diet by the way and I've been getting into raw veg instead of stuffing my face with bread every time I'm peckish. So as you can prolly tell I love cauliflour, cooked or uncooked. But even for me the though of eating cooked cauliflour cold 5 days after it was cooked makes me feel sick.

goat2

cauliflower cannot be good on second day, must be rotting by Friday,

For Forks Sake

gerrybbadd wrote: »

What you could also do is buy a hat, and tie those air freshener trees to it, like the Aussies do with corks. Encourage your co - workers to do the same.

Once he starts reaching for the cauli - pull out your hats, and put them on in an obvious manner

This is the obvious solution.

And for the love of god, video it and put the reaction on youtube.

LynnGrace

valoren wrote: »

A man in our office makes a full dinner usually spuds, ham, cabbage and gravy for his lunch a few times a week then eats it at his desk with a knife and fork scraping them on the plate to get every last morsel of it.

He also has the habit of eating without closing his gob and the slurry of spuds, cabbage and gravy is audibly sloshed around his gob as if his lower jaw is somehow heavier than the rest of his head. That lip smacking, chomping and slurping eating habit is high on my list of 'Excuses to murder you' :pac:

I used to sit directly opposite but we moved desks in a reshuffle so no longer hear it thankfully.

I'd say you broke out the champagne when the desk move happened.

Excellent description - I feel your pain. Used to sit opposite someone like that. Thankfully he didn't eat his lunch at the desk but the slobbering that used to go on with a coffee and scone... :eek:

cantdecide

I think I know this guy. Does he listen to Iron Maiden by any chance?

Nasal Violation wrote: »

I work in a pretty small office - there's 5 of us in a 5 metre by 5 metre room. We have a small fridge in the room to keep water / lunch etc in to save us having to go up and down to the kitchen throughout the day.

My co-worker, who is obviously some sort of maniac, steams a huge batch of cauliflower on a Sunday night and then bags it up and brings it in with him on a Monday and leaves it in the fridge to eat throughout the week.

Now the smell on a Monday is pretty bad as it is but by the time it gets to Thursday or Friday it smells like an old wet football boot that's been stuck in a pig's a$$ for a few months. He opens the bag about four or five times a day and eats the cold cauliflower in front of us like this is somehow fuc.king normal.

There are some weeks he will change it up and swap his cauliflower for brussels sprouts.....this is not any more pleasant.

Does anyone in your office do anything ridiculous like this, how do you cope? I don't want to throw his food out, we all know what happened to Ross when someone ate Monica's Moist Maker.