Does Ireland's mentality contribute to Anxiety/Mental Health issues?

Joshies

Uosdwis R. Dewoh wrote: »

Which ones? Saying an entire nation is something... that's kinda racist isn't it?

The black ones.

jaxxx

Joshies wrote: »

Yes,.

The Irish are also racist.

There hasn't been a human that's ever lived that wasn't some bit racist. Jesus we've all had racists thoughts at some point in our lives. But there's a big difference between being racist and being a racist, and acting on it as well.

Funnily enough I was actually subjected to a short burst of racism some years back. Can't remember where. Someone who just didn't like foreigners I guess. I just laughed at him, called him a stupid c*nt and walked off.

John stevens

jaxxx wrote: »

There hasn't been a human that's ever lived that wasn't some bit racist. Jesus we've all had racists thoughts at some point in our lives. But there's a big difference between being racist and being a racist, and acting on it as well.

Funnily enough I was actually subjected to a short burst of racism some years back. Can't remember where. Someone who just didn't like foreigners I guess. I just laughed at him, called him a stupid c*nt and walked off.

You're right, potato munching, red head, in breeds.

PARlance

Can I come too... wrote: »

In my experience to get ahead in Ireland, it's not what you know, but who you know thats matter & money does most of the talking.

A sufficient supply of clichés can get you to the top too.

NinetyTwoTeam

Having moved back to the small town my family is originally from after spending many years in a bigger country in a large city, the gossip and judgemental mentality of small town Ireland has absolutely affected my mental health.

You think people are being friendly, but then you realize they're just trying to find out as much of your business as they can. It's actually intrusive and rude when people ask too many questions.

Reading boards you can see that many Irish are much more bitter and hateful than they pretend to be. I know it's the internet but it's like night and day compared to how most people here act in person.

After having so many people here be totally two faced I just keep to myself now, because they're going to talk crap about you either way, why waste time keeping up this false pretence that we are friends. It feels like if I tell someone my honest opinion about something or tell them what's happening in my life they're just going to hold it against me, if I brush them off they'll hold that against me. It's just a no win situation but with the brush off at least I'm not revealing anything and is less effort than pretending to be friends. so unfortunately I find it's actually better for my sanity to isolate myself which is pretty dire and sad.

NinetyTwoTeam

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

After having so many people here be totally two faced I just keep to myself now, because they're going to talk crap about you either way, why waste time keeping up this false pretence that we are friends. It feels like if I tell someone my honest opinion about something or tell them what's happening in my life they're just going to hold it against me, if I brush them off they'll hold that against me. It's just a no win situation but with the brush off at least I'm not revealing anything and is less effort than pretending to be friends. so unfortunately I find it's actually better for my sanity to isolate myself which is pretty dire and sad.

Isolate yourself? That sounds very dark and lonely...and sad.

I live in rural Ireland, I fully get the whole squinting windows/gossip stuff. Have heard the most insane rumours about myself. I just laughed them off. It's the price you pay for rural life. But this idea that everyone in rural areas is bad or will betray you is wrong, you have to learn to discern the people you can trust and are genuine from the people you can't.

freshpopcorn

I do think some people are suited to urban and rural living. I lived in a urban area for about two years and I hated it. I lived in an apartment. I had to account basically for my every move to people in neighboring apartments. Where was I going, what I was up to the evening before,etc. Lots of competition over cars, people making noise all night, no open spaces. It drove me insane.
I went back to where I live in rural Ireland and love it. People are friendly/more relaxed/less pressure.
I think people should if possible should live where they are happy and not slate where they live and do nothing about it. Your bad mood generally rubs off onto people and that's why issues happen.

ChikiChiki

We as a nation slag each other off a lot which is passed off as a bit of craic however there can be a nasty undercurrent to it a lot of the time. E.g , ya daft cnut, or ya baldy wanker etc being thrown out in the middle of a chat.

I've lost count of the amount of times someone I'm not all that familiar with has commented on my baldness over a fee pints. Luckily I have thick skin.

fryup

ChikiChiki wrote: »

I've lost count of the amount of times someone I'm not all that familiar with has commented on my baldness over a fee pints. Luckily I have thick skin.

well this is it you see, some people don't..esp young people and they can take these off the cuff remarks to heart

dd972

fryup wrote: »

well this is it you see, some people don't..esp young people and they can take these off the cuff remarks to heart

Thin or Thick skinned people don't exist, If you're in a good mood you can shrug things off, if not, things get to you.

pilly

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

Having moved back to the small town my family is originally from after spending many years in a bigger country in a large city, the gossip and judgemental mentality of small town Ireland has absolutely affected my mental health.

You think people are being friendly, but then you realize they're just trying to find out as much of your business as they can. It's actually intrusive and rude when people ask too many questions.

Reading boards you can see that many Irish are much more bitter and hateful than they pretend to be. I know it's the internet but it's like night and day compared to how most people here act in person.

After having so many people here be totally two faced I just keep to myself now, because they're going to talk crap about you either way, why waste time keeping up this false pretence that we are friends. It feels like if I tell someone my honest opinion about something or tell them what's happening in my life they're just going to hold it against me, if I brush them off they'll hold that against me. It's just a no win situation but with the brush off at least I'm not revealing anything and is less effort than pretending to be friends. so unfortunately I find it's actually better for my sanity to isolate myself which is pretty dire and sad.

I agree, I moved to rural Ireland 2 and half years ago and my next door neighbour couldn't be friendlier, popping in nearly every day.

Fast forward 6 months and I was taken to hospital in an ambulance. Wouldn't tell her when I came out what was wrong with me, she hasn't uttered a word to me since.

Not nice living next door to that and if I'd less confidence I would be destroyed by it because I don't have any other neighbours, ours are the only two houses on my road.

What contributes to mental health issues in this country?

Well my main theory would be that the Irish people put their trust (rightly or wrongly and without much say in the matter) into three main institutions since the foundation of the state and all three have spectacularly failed them in many different ways over the decades.

These are the political system, the Catholic Church and the banks. You could also add the school system and our Gardai into the equation too. All three former institutions i have referred to have manipulated and abused their trust in the Irish people much like the manipulating, physically and mentally abusing, toxic partner and worse is we have continuously come back for more not knowing any better and not demanding any better...perhaps not believing that there is any better.

The net result of our manipulation is that our people are under huge financial stress in sh1tty jobs at best trying to keep up the payments for aspirations that our greater society has colletively set out for itself (wife, big car, property, 2.4 kids, etc). Its become a neverending pointless rat race. Hence the mess we have made is taking its toll on our mental health

Rural Ireland which is so often wrongly caricatured and mocked on these threads is being taken down brick by brick while our cities and Dublin in particular are becoming overcrowded with a poor and badly planned infrastructure. Politicians meanwhile continually generously renumerate themselves for their incompetence and mismanagement.

The sad thing is that there was men and women once upon a time who were united in a cause and willing to stand shoulder to shoulder and die for this country. What they died for, has become a capitalistic machine where the wealthy get even wealthier and the so called vulnerable are continuously boxed in and punished for bad decisions in life they are meant to have made in the past. James Connolly gave his life for an equal society because he perceived the British as an elite who were exploiting our people.
What a waste.

It may sound like a negative view point and i respect that many of you wont agree. There may be some element of truth in what i post and more of you might think its bullsh*t and thats fair enough

_Kaiser_

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

Excellent point. Even in the UK bold is rarely if ever used to chastise a kid. In Ireland, kids aren't bold anymore. They have ADHD. Get prescribed amphetamines, and apparently they are cured. Problem solved.

There's some truth to this I reckon. While not dismissing for a second that mental health problems are a real issue, I think it's being reached for as an explanation too quickly and too often now.

harry Bailey esq

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

Excellent point. Even in the UK bold is rarely if ever used to chastise a kid. In Ireland, kids aren't bold anymore. They have ADHD. Get prescribed amphetamines, and apparently they are cured. Problem solved.

There is a great story told by Sir Ken Robinson about a conversation he had with Gillian Lynne. Gillian of course was Andrew Lloyd Webbers main choreographer for many years.

Sir Ken asked her how she came to be a dancer and Gillian told him she was a 'giddy' child in school who could never stay still much to the teachers annoyance so her parents brought her to the doctor. In a rare show of common sense, the doctor told the parents that their daughter was not ill and that she was a dancer. He then advised them to bring her to a dance class, so they did. From the moment she took up dancing she loved it and it was full of people just like her, people who couldnt stay still. She says if it was today she would have been diagnosed with ADHD, perscribed meds and sent on her way.

_Kaiser_

First, good thread with some very well thought out replies

My own thoughts are that Ireland has a lot of problems with inferiority and the legacy of British colonialism - even now in 2017.

You see this manifest in ways as has alerady been mentioned such as the "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality that causes enormous pressure on people, but also the even more negative bothering oneself about what your neighbour is getting or "getting away with" that you aren't that manifested during the recession.
This of course is then played upon by the political classes who continuously pit one side against the other - the unemployed vs the employed, the private sector vs the public sector, union workers vs non-union etc etc - all of which serves to distract and deflect from the real issues.
It's even fuelled by the GAA and the exclusion and negative attitudes (as already referred to by others) in small towns of those who aren't involved.. even to the point of the whole "feckin Dubs" nonsense, which extends far beyond sports.

Many Irish people don't think beyond their own immediate family and community and this results in TDs entirely beholden to this parochial mindset, and who spend far more time dealing with planning applications and getting local goodies, than dealing with the national issues they should be focusing on.
The other effect of course is that it should be no surprise when many of them get involved in scandals and corruption. It's a natural byproduct of the selfish "me first" attitude and the reason it continues, and why we as a nation put up with it and the toothless enquiries that follow, is because there is a sizeable number of people out there that admit to themselves that they'd do the EXACT same things given the opportunity/if they had the balls/neck.. we still admire far too many "cute hoors" and this is the result.

Then there's the colonial hangover... not just the whole "de Brits" thing, but how we as a country have this NEED to be liked and validated by others (sure the Irish are great craic), and it extends to our song and dances over smoking bans, same-sex marriages etc. All good things don't get me wrong, but also too focused on showing the world how enlightened and modern we are. It's no wonder we soak up so many of these US-led social media campaigns and how even on this site we regularly witness people being attacked and marginalised for not being fully on-board with whatever the latest online consensus is.
The other aspect of this hangover is how we have to prove to everyone how we can make the big decisions... and usually end up making a mess of it as a result of trying to put our own stamp on it, whether it be through ineffective legislation (that we've badly copied from somewhere), huge amount of waste in public projects etc.

Despite all this, as I said "we" all just let it go all the same and even this post will be attacked as "negative" - hell I might be told to "**** off out of here if you don't like it!" (as I've seen happen many times when anyone calls out or criticises the place or the way it's run), and that perhaps is the most depressing part. Not just the very real problems that exist in our still very young State, but the complete lack of will to acknowledge them and demand better of not just those in the meet-the-new-boss-same-as-the-old-boss Governments, but of ourselves... any negativity is to be dismissed and attacked, not examined for its possible validity.

It's no wonder there's people who feel so hopeless and struggling every day, and even more unfortunately those who can't see any other way out than to do something tragic.

dd972

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

After having so many people here be totally two faced I just keep to myself now, because they're going to talk crap about you either way, why waste time keeping up this false pretence that we are friends. It feels like if I tell someone my honest opinion about something or tell them what's happening in my life they're just going to hold it against me, if I brush them off they'll hold that against me. It's just a no win situation but with the brush off at least I'm not revealing anything and is less effort than pretending to be friends. so unfortunately I find it's actually better for my sanity to isolate myself which is pretty dire and sad.

Recognise every letter of that mate, what gets me about the sort of people I know you're talking about is how they're seemingly given a 'free pass' to be in some tabloid/soap opera and the front page story always seems to elude these b*stards.

fyfe79

Great post Kaiser, how right you are.

server down

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I do think some people are suited to urban and rural living. I lived in a urban area for about two years and I hated it. I lived in an apartment. I had to account basically for my every move to people in neighboring apartments. Where was I going, what I was up to the evening before,etc. Lots of competition over cars, people making noise all night, no open spaces. It drove me insane.

When did this accounting happen? Was there an apartment meeting every day? Seems crazy.

server down

Ireland probably does tolerate eccentricity a little less than the UK.

My feeling about people who think the rest of your town, village or apartment block is talking about you is this - how would you know unless you too participated in some gossip? Unless you met someone who said “that Mary wan is saying crap about you” possibly because you were saying something about her, and because this guy knew you would want this information?

Not sure any of this exacerbates mental health problems.

fryup

^^^^^^^^^^^^

it exacerbates paranoia

Kermit.de.frog

We need to be more German.

They are superior country in the world, do things right, get things done.

I reckon if they inflict some of their discipline upon us this can only be good.

freshpopcorn

server down wrote: »

When did this accounting happen? Was there an apartment meeting every day? Seems crazy.

It was about 6 years ago. There was never really an apartment meeting but people were just so nosy living on top of one another in my experience. I found the same in the suburbs and housing estates. I suppose I might be lucky in country area I am in. Whilst all the neigbhours get on. They are never fights/bickering/no real keeping up with the Jones. They'd be the odd bit of gossip but this is mainly to do with what shops are opening in the town nearby.
There was a bit of gossip earlier this year but this lady even made the newspaper over what she did.

fryup

ChikiChiki wrote: »

We as a nation slag each other off a lot which is passed off as a bit of craic however there can be a nasty undercurrent to it a lot of the time. E.g , ya daft cnut, or ya baldy wanker etc being thrown out in the middle of a chat.

this is an example of friendly irish banter

how can the above be classed as friendly?? its rude in my book, no two ways about it

take everything

fyfe79 wrote: »

So, so many factors in this country. It's difficult to know where to start.

Weather. Keeping up with the Jones' and worrying too much about others think about us. Historical connection to land making us overburden ourselves with big mortgages. A generally gossipy populace makes one paranoid (I feel this one, anyway). Our smaller than desired gene pool perhaps makes us more susceptible to depression, like it has to cystic fibrosis and other Celt ailments. Using alcohol as a crutch to overcome catholic guilt, which still lingers even though we're quite secular now. Corrupt politicians and the lack of a real alternative. A population becoming overworked and aggressive against eachother, but more subservient to the corrupt politicians than ever before. Over exposure to US and UK trends, diets, media etc.. which confuses our identity.

The general feeling I have in this country is that it's not ok to be different and people in general are nice to your face but cut you to pieces behind your back. In other words, I think our 'friendly Irish' image is a complete sham. Other European nationalities are more forthright and direct than the Irish, which may come across poorly to us, but they are more genuine and less likely to bitch behind your back. All my opinion only, of course

Jaysus that's largely bang on.
Well expressed.

Stonedpilot

server down wrote: »

Ireland probably does tolerate eccentricity a little less than the UK.

My feeling about people who think the rest of your town, village or apartment block is talking about you is this - how would you know unless you too participated in some gossip? Unless you met someone who said “that Mary wan is saying crap about you” possibly because you were saying something about her, and because this guy knew you would want this information?

Not sure any of this exacerbates mental health problems.

Ireland doesn't tolerate eccentricity at all. Hell even someone who doesn't believe the mainstream media is labelled nuts/tin foil hat wearer/crazy etc all for having a different opinion!. This forum is notorious for it. Incredibly narrow minded most on this are.
Just to give an example of how the UK accepts eccentricity more, a lecturer in the University of Oxford Swedish guy Nick Bostrom regularly lectures we live in a artificially created computer system, like the Matrix. This guys lectures are always packed and he is lecturing in Oxford no less. Would this happen in Ireland?. No way.

People in Ireland and on this have a very hard time with folk who don't even accept the propaganda on RTE, even thats a few steps too far!.

Ireland is desperately narrow minded which contributes to mental health issues as people who commit the crime of thinking differently are ostracized and considered 'mad'. This forum is a microcosm of that.

One thing that is very important for people with mental health issues to realize is peoples opinions don't matter, certainly don't mean anything. Mine, yours his, etc. All just an opinion. I do have to laugh at unhinged narcissists on this who are like this is gospel, or this is brutal truth or this is why I'm right and all this ego masturbation nonsense. No pal it's just an opinion!. So many folk are worried about what others think, when the truth is it doesn't matter. Not one jot.

dd972

Stonedpilot wrote: »

One thing that is very important for people with mental health issues to realize is peoples opinions don't matter, certainly don't mean anything. Mine, yours his, etc. All just an opinion. I do have to laugh at unhinged narcissists on this who are like this is gospel, or this is brutal truth or this is why I'm right and all this ego masturbation nonsense. No pal it's just an opinion!. So many folk are worried about what others think, when the truth is it doesn't matter. Not one jot.

Fools and fanatics are full of certitude, intelligent people are full of doubt and scepticism - Bertrand Russell

server down

freshpopcorn wrote: »

It was about 6 years ago. There was never really an apartment meeting but people were just so nosy living on top of one another in my experience. I found the same in the suburbs and housing estates. I suppose I might be lucky in country area I am in. Whilst all the neigbhours get on. They are never fights/bickering/no real keeping up with the Jones. They'd be the odd bit of gossip but this is mainly to do with what shops are opening in the town nearby.
There was a bit of gossip earlier this year but this lady even made the newspaper over what she did.

I barely knew my neighbours in apartments.

Uosdwis R. Dewoh

Opinions are not valid if they directly contradict fact.

Facts/fallacies and opinions are different things.

I have experienced the small-minded rural community thing but if people are experiencing this absolutely everywhere they go in Ireland, maybe they need to ask what role they have themselves in the situation.

Some people are so determined to view Ireland as this place out on its own in terms of negative behaviour, when the characteristics described can be found anywhere, and most people are just ordinary, unassuming and getting on with things. When people only want to find negatives, they'll find it. Just like people who are always trying to find offence.

If you lined up ten people of varying backgrounds - Irish and non Irish - and asked them what their experiences of Ireland are like, you'd be met with varying responses: from absolutely loving it, to absolutely hating it (probably an Irish person in that case ). Perspective, attitude and experience colour a lot.

What I will say though, is that the appalling sense of entitlement is a thing here - as it seems to be in Britain. I'm not saying Ireland is utopia of course.

Wanderer2010

I sometimes feel like an absolute freak for not being a drinker and in my late 30s, and weirdly its actually gotten WORSE as I age. I used to always get the smart sayings from friends and co workers when I was younger, ah whats wrong with you, Jesus I don't know anyone who doesn't drink etc etc. Some days it didn't bother me, others it became a depressing drain.
Whether you drink or not seems to be the sole point on which you are worth knowing or not in a huge number of peoples minds in Ireland. Very sad.

buried

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

I sometimes feel like an absolute freak for not being a drinker and in my late 30s, and weirdly its actually gotten WORSE as I age. I used to always get the smart sayings from friends and co workers when I was younger, ah whats wrong with you, Jesus I don't know anyone who doesn't drink etc etc. Some days it didn't bother me, others it became a depressing drain.
Whether you drink or not seems to be the sole point on which you are worth knowing or not in a huge number of peoples minds in Ireland. Very sad.

I hate that $hite. I drink myself but to Hell with people like that. Waste of energy listening to that pathetic $hite. The majority of folk that come out with that sort of silly f**king noise have literally no interests or any outlet for their free time except going down the pub getting totally $hitfaced and yabbering and shlabberin on about absolutely nothing. Don't let them drag you down and into their cursed earth. Let them off