Does Ireland's mentality contribute to Anxiety/Mental Health issues?

dd972

I know that this is a global problem however I do believe that certain triggers are here as regards contributing to anxiety or mental health issues among the populace, the parish pump thing where people whom have never had a conversation with you have opinions about you, the sort of disingenuous con artist who every Irish person knows of that always has their best face on, has the lot in life and looks down their nose at you for not having a spouse or kids, the smallness of the society, only one real major city which is even a hicksville set against big cities in Europe, etc.

5rtytry56

Yes.
In some parts of this country no matter how young old or rich poor one is, if they are not signed up in some official capacity to a local sports club that is a stain on their image. They may become pariahs.
Articulating a different opinion on something by somebody in many places can also make them an object of derision and persona non grata: political correctness

biko

The rest of the world, including UK, is lucky to have avoided these specifically Irish issues.

SafeSurfer

Some people gain great support by living in small, intimate communities, be they urban or rural, where people look out for each other more.
If you are living in a new apartment block would you notice not seeing your neighbour for a week?

donegaLroad

I was in my local leisure centre last year, and there was a group of us talking in the sauna as we always do... after 10 minutes one guy got up and left, but came back in 2 minutes later.. 'just in case we were talking about him' he said. And even though this was said in jest, he wasn't joking at the same time...

People in rural Ireland are hyper-sensitive to what is being said about them and how they are being spoken about. They have good reason to be, because it is a country full of gossips.

looksee

donegaLroad wrote: »

I was in my local leisure centre last year, and there was a group of us talking in the sauna as we always do... after 10 minutes one guy got up and left, but came back in 2 minutes later.. 'just in case we were talking about him' he said. And even though this was said in jest, he wasn't joking at the same time...

People in rural Ireland are hyper-sensitive to what is being said about them and how they are being spoken about. They have good reason to be, because it is a country full of gossips.

That is a very standard joking comment that can be made by anyone under lots of circumstances. If you are taking it seriously it reflects your apparently somewhat paranoid attitude to other people - exactly what you are accusing him of.

marieholmfan

It's the rain and the alcohol.

djPSB

Have the suicide prevention measures in recent years worked?

I have my doubts.

dd972

dd972 wrote: »

I know that this is a global problem however I do believe that certain triggers are here as regards contributing to anxiety or mental health issues among the populace, the parish pump thing where people whom have never had a conversation with you have opinions about you, the sort of disingenuous con artist who every Irish person knows of that always has their best face on, has the lot in life and looks down their nose at you for not having a spouse or kids, the smallness of the society, only one real major city which is even a hicksville set against big cities in Europe, etc.

You are projection your own issue on the nation, seriously the fact that Dublin is a small major city is one of the contributors to mental ill health?. I know this is easier said that done but stop thinking and ruminating on what others are thinking or saying about you and concentrate on yourself.

The weather could possible be a small factor in metal ill health.

marieholmfan

djPSB wrote: »

Have the suicide prevention measures in recent years worked?

I have my doubts.

I think objectively they have worked in that suicide in the targeted age cohort has fallen.

Zubeneschamali

marieholmfan wrote: »

I think objectively they have worked in that suicide in the targeted age cohort has fallen.

That does not prove they worked, just that the rate fell at the same time.

marieholmfan

Zubeneschamali wrote: »

That does not prove they worked, just that the rate fell at the same time.

That is a very very sensible point. While it would be unethical to maintain a control in this circumstance; the rate of suicide among men over thirty five has NOT fallen (this group was not targeted) and in fact I believe that the highest rate is now men in their late forties (though much lower - again I believe I don't have the figures than it was for men in their late teens or men in their early thirties).

donegaLroad

looksee wrote: »

That is a very standard joking comment that can be made by anyone under lots of circumstances. If you are taking it seriously it reflects your apparently somewhat paranoid attitude to other people - exactly what you are accusing him of.

He was right.. they were talking about him when he left the sauna, as happens frequently when someone does leave the sauna, and he knew it

If I can put it another way, there is a lot of 'who got off the bus?' mentality in rural Ireland. People are inclined to be nosey, and they make it their business to know other people's business.

When we moved to this area first, our post just automatically started arriving at the house which we had just bought. We didn't need to notify the post office of who we were or where we lived, the postman already knew.

fyfe79

So, so many factors in this country. It's difficult to know where to start.

Weather. Keeping up with the Jones' and worrying too much about others think about us. Historical connection to land making us overburden ourselves with big mortgages. A generally gossipy populace makes one paranoid (I feel this one, anyway). Our smaller than desired gene pool perhaps makes us more susceptible to depression, like it has to cystic fibrosis and other Celt ailments. Using alcohol as a crutch to overcome catholic guilt, which still lingers even though we're quite secular now. Corrupt politicians and the lack of a real alternative. A population becoming overworked and aggressive against eachother, but more subservient to the corrupt politicians than ever before. Over exposure to US and UK trends, diets, media etc.. which confuses our identity.

The general feeling I have in this country is that it's not ok to be different and people in general are nice to your face but cut you to pieces behind your back. In other words, I think our 'friendly Irish' image is a complete sham. Other European nationalities are more forthright and direct than the Irish, which may come across poorly to us, but they are more genuine and less likely to bitch behind your back. All my opinion only, of course

Zubeneschamali

marieholmfan wrote: »

That is a very very sensible point. While it would be unethical to maintain a control in this circumstance; the rate of suicide among men over thirty five has NOT fallen (this group was not targeted) and in fact I believe that the highest rate is now men in their late forties (though much lower - again I believe I don't have the figures than it was for men in their late teens or men in their early thirties).

Of course it is possible that the measures worked, but we would also have to account for other changes. Maybe emigration among young men over this period took a lot of the at-risk people abroad? Lots of variables to be considered.

harry Bailey esq

fyfe79 wrote: »

So, so many factors in this country. It's difficult to know where to start.

Weather. Keeping up with the Jones' and worrying too much about others think about us. Historical connection to land making us overburden ourselves with big mortgages. A generally gossipy populace makes one paranoid (I feel this one, anyway). Our smaller than desired gene pool perhaps makes us more susceptible to depression, like it has to cystic fibrosis and other Celt ailments. Using alcohol as a crutch to overcome catholic guilt, which still lingers even though we're quite secular now. Corrupt politicians and the lack of a real alternative. A population becoming overworked and aggressive against eachother, but more subservient to the corrupt politicians than ever before. Over exposure to US and UK trends, diets, media etc.. which confuses our identity.

The general feeling I have in this country is that it's not ok to be different and people in general are nice to your face but cut you to pieces behind your back. In other words, I think our 'friendly Irish' image is a complete sham. Other European nationalities are more forthright and direct than the Irish, which may come across poorly to us, but they are more genuine and less likely to bitch behind your back. All my opinion only, of course

True. All that stuff combined would drive anyone bananas.
Regardless of nationality.

sjb25

A lot of people seem to be be so worried about what others think or say about them or Mary down the road bought a new car I have to now.

My attitude is very much take me how I am or F off and I couldn't care less what other people do
I look after myself my OH and our son and don't worry about anyone else or what the do/say.
But some people need to worry all day everyday about everybody else but themselves

djPSB

marieholmfan wrote: »

That is a very very sensible point. While it would be unethical to maintain a control in this circumstance; the rate of suicide among men over thirty five has NOT fallen (this group was not targeted) and in fact I believe that the highest rate is now men in their late forties (though much lower - again I believe I don't have the figures than it was for men in their late teens or men in their early thirties).

Some observations in general on suicide:

Is suicide now considered more of an option than it would have been say 20/30 years ago.

- Years ago, there was much less publicity about suicide. It was something that wouldn't be talked about that often or if a suicide did occur it would be kept very hush hush by the family. It was seen as a terrible thing for someone to put their family through. This view still exists but it's not the same message that's communicated publicly on the impact it will have on the family that have to live with the situation.

- then because suicide awareness wouldn't have been as high as it is now, would less people have even considered it as an option. So nowadays, when a person feels depressed or unwell, suicide is considered as an option for a lot of people especially young people. Is suicide awareness actually creating more publicity about suicide and therefore more think of it as an option.

- then social media. People are feeling down or depressed about things that can be trivial which I don't think would have existed in the past. People benchmark their lives of their friends' perfect lives on social media. Back in the day, people were happy to have what they had themselves and didn't give a toss what Tommy over the road had.

Bigbagofcans

Fyfe79 - you hit the nail on the head there.

A lot of pressure people put on themselves to keep up with the Jones'. Especially when they're taking out loans and paying high monthly payments to pay for their '172' car when they can't really afford it.

People marrying just cos it's the 'done thing' and feeling pressure from others around them.
Constant bombardment of the same old questions - marriage, buying houses, children, regardless of whether you can afford to or even want to.

"Happiness is not a destination, it's a way of life."
People need to shake off the mentality of 'I'll be happy when I..'. Try and be happy in your everyday little things instead of always comparing yourself to others.

Mrs OBumble

Young children here are routinely told off for being "bold".

Bold means brave, strong, courageous. You actually tell kids off for this. What do you expect the result will be.

I've several times had to explain to immigrant parents that the teacher wasn't being complementary about their kid. It ain't fun.

djPSB

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Young children here are routinely told off for being "bold".

Bold means brave, strong, courageous. You actually tell kids off for this. What do you expect the result will be.

I've several times had to explain to immigrant parents that the teacher wasn't being complementary about their kid. It ain't fun.

But back in the day, kids were beaten at school if they did something wrong. Quite severely beaten and it was very very wrong. And they got through life with a lot less mental health issues than young people nowadays do. They had alot more right to be down or depressed than any young person now does but that wasn't the case.

It wouldn't be good to go back to those days but to a degree kids are mollycollied too much these days. And when they hit the big bad world in their teens and when they go on to get a job, they have no experience of dealing with it and people not being nice to them the whole time. Which is another driver for mental health issues. People are suddenly thrust into an environment which is totally alien to them.

harry Bailey esq

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Young children here are routinely told off for being "bold".

Bold means brave, strong, courageous. You actually tell kids off for this. What do you expect the result will be.

I've several times had to explain to immigrant parents that the teacher wasn't being complementary about their kid. It ain't fun.

Excellent point. Even in the UK bold is rarely if ever used to chastise a kid. In Ireland, kids aren't bold anymore. They have ADHD. Get prescribed amphetamines, and apparently they are cured. Problem solved.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Young children here are routinely told off for being "bold".

Bold means brave, strong, courageous. You actually tell kids off for this. What do you expect the result will be.

I've several times had to explain to immigrant parents that the teacher wasn't being complementary about their kid. It ain't fun.

I think thats just the way we use the word though. To Irish people it means naughty, not brave. Words can have different meanings in different countries.

marieholmfan

djPSB wrote: »

But back in the day, kids were beaten at school if they did something wrong. Quite severely beaten and it was very very wrong. And they got through life with a lot less mental health issues than young people nowadays do. They had alot more right to be down or depressed than any young person now does ...

Many of them did have that right.

djPSB wrote: »

...but that wasn't the case.

How do you know?

7 Seconds...

In my experience to get ahead in Ireland, it's not what you know, but who you know thats matter & money does most of the talking.

Uosdwis R. Dewoh

I certainly don't believe that that highly parochial, inward looking outlook is prevalent absolutely anywhere at all in Ireland, but it does exist in pockets.

I am not from such a place but I had cause to experience that kind of mindset a few years ago and it was awful. I can see how it would have a bad effect on someone who doesn't conform to it.

Your Face

Short answer - yes.

dublinman1990

There could be a lot of issues at play with this type of mentality among certain people. A certain cohort of Irish people can be very competitive to one another by giving themselves a small boost to their own egos in unhealthy ways. There can be a lot of personal pettiness among these people when they are competing against one another which is not so good to look at when you are witnessing it from the naked eye.

The only questions that I would ask is why does this level of competition happen regularly among these people in Ireland.

What are the perceived gains or benefits that they can get from this competition when it's among their own friends or neighbours.

Does it happen to make both of themselves feel better or does it happen just to set some point scoring among one another.

I just cringe when I see it happen among certain people that have known each other for a very long time.

djPSB

dublinman1990 wrote: »

There could be a lot of issues at play with this type of mentality among certain people. A certain cohort of Irish people can be very competitive to one another by giving themselves a small boost to their own egos in unhealthy ways. There can be a lot of personal pettiness among these people when they are competing against one another which is not so good to look at when you are witnessing it from the naked eye.

The only questions that I would ask is why does this level of competition happen regularly among these people in Ireland.

What are the perceived gains or benefits that they can get from this competition when it's among their own friends or neighbours.

Does it happen to make both of themselves feel better or does it happen just to set some point scoring among one another.

I just cringe when I see it happen among certain people that have known each other for a very long time.

Irish people in general are selfish and greedy. Probably a culture that has become engrained in us through public policies and the Celtic Tiger.

When it comes to the budget next week, most people would much prefer to have more money put into their own pockets if given a choice over public services like proper transport systems. Most of the media attention will focus on which cohorts have benefited most rather than which public services are being targeted over the next year for investment. And it's hard for government to satisfy because at the end of the day if they want to be re elected, they have to choose the populist strategy.

During the 'good times' people weren't happy with having one house. They needed two or three. They weren't happy with a mortgage for €200k when they could get €500k.

Uosdwis R. Dewoh

djPSB wrote: »

Irish people in general are selfish and greedy.

Bit harsh! Irish people also have a reputation for being charitable.

What I do agree with though, is that there is a crazy sense of entitlement in this country (and others).

When it comes to the budget next week, most people would much prefer to have more money put into their own pockets if given a choice over public services like proper transport systems. Most of the media attention will focus on which cohorts have benefited most rather than which public services are being targeted over the next year for investment. And it's hard for government to satisfy because at the end of the day if they want to be re elected, they have to choose the populist strategy.

Agreed there.

Joshies

Yes,.

The Irish are also racist.

Joshies

Uosdwis R. Dewoh wrote: »

Which ones? Saying an entire nation is something... that's kinda racist isn't it?

The black ones.

jaxxx

Joshies wrote: »

Yes,.

The Irish are also racist.

There hasn't been a human that's ever lived that wasn't some bit racist. Jesus we've all had racists thoughts at some point in our lives. But there's a big difference between being racist and being a racist, and acting on it as well.

Funnily enough I was actually subjected to a short burst of racism some years back. Can't remember where. Someone who just didn't like foreigners I guess. I just laughed at him, called him a stupid c*nt and walked off.

John stevens

jaxxx wrote: »

There hasn't been a human that's ever lived that wasn't some bit racist. Jesus we've all had racists thoughts at some point in our lives. But there's a big difference between being racist and being a racist, and acting on it as well.

Funnily enough I was actually subjected to a short burst of racism some years back. Can't remember where. Someone who just didn't like foreigners I guess. I just laughed at him, called him a stupid c*nt and walked off.

You're right, potato munching, red head, in breeds.

PARlance

Can I come too... wrote: »

In my experience to get ahead in Ireland, it's not what you know, but who you know thats matter & money does most of the talking.

A sufficient supply of clichés can get you to the top too.

NinetyTwoTeam

Having moved back to the small town my family is originally from after spending many years in a bigger country in a large city, the gossip and judgemental mentality of small town Ireland has absolutely affected my mental health.

You think people are being friendly, but then you realize they're just trying to find out as much of your business as they can. It's actually intrusive and rude when people ask too many questions.

Reading boards you can see that many Irish are much more bitter and hateful than they pretend to be. I know it's the internet but it's like night and day compared to how most people here act in person.

After having so many people here be totally two faced I just keep to myself now, because they're going to talk crap about you either way, why waste time keeping up this false pretence that we are friends. It feels like if I tell someone my honest opinion about something or tell them what's happening in my life they're just going to hold it against me, if I brush them off they'll hold that against me. It's just a no win situation but with the brush off at least I'm not revealing anything and is less effort than pretending to be friends. so unfortunately I find it's actually better for my sanity to isolate myself which is pretty dire and sad.

NinetyTwoTeam

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

After having so many people here be totally two faced I just keep to myself now, because they're going to talk crap about you either way, why waste time keeping up this false pretence that we are friends. It feels like if I tell someone my honest opinion about something or tell them what's happening in my life they're just going to hold it against me, if I brush them off they'll hold that against me. It's just a no win situation but with the brush off at least I'm not revealing anything and is less effort than pretending to be friends. so unfortunately I find it's actually better for my sanity to isolate myself which is pretty dire and sad.

Isolate yourself? That sounds very dark and lonely...and sad.

I live in rural Ireland, I fully get the whole squinting windows/gossip stuff. Have heard the most insane rumours about myself. I just laughed them off. It's the price you pay for rural life. But this idea that everyone in rural areas is bad or will betray you is wrong, you have to learn to discern the people you can trust and are genuine from the people you can't.

freshpopcorn

I do think some people are suited to urban and rural living. I lived in a urban area for about two years and I hated it. I lived in an apartment. I had to account basically for my every move to people in neighboring apartments. Where was I going, what I was up to the evening before,etc. Lots of competition over cars, people making noise all night, no open spaces. It drove me insane.
I went back to where I live in rural Ireland and love it. People are friendly/more relaxed/less pressure.
I think people should if possible should live where they are happy and not slate where they live and do nothing about it. Your bad mood generally rubs off onto people and that's why issues happen.

ChikiChiki

We as a nation slag each other off a lot which is passed off as a bit of craic however there can be a nasty undercurrent to it a lot of the time. E.g , ya daft cnut, or ya baldy wanker etc being thrown out in the middle of a chat.

I've lost count of the amount of times someone I'm not all that familiar with has commented on my baldness over a fee pints. Luckily I have thick skin.

fryup

ChikiChiki wrote: »

I've lost count of the amount of times someone I'm not all that familiar with has commented on my baldness over a fee pints. Luckily I have thick skin.

well this is it you see, some people don't..esp young people and they can take these off the cuff remarks to heart

dd972

fryup wrote: »

well this is it you see, some people don't..esp young people and they can take these off the cuff remarks to heart

Thin or Thick skinned people don't exist, If you're in a good mood you can shrug things off, if not, things get to you.

pilly

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

Having moved back to the small town my family is originally from after spending many years in a bigger country in a large city, the gossip and judgemental mentality of small town Ireland has absolutely affected my mental health.

You think people are being friendly, but then you realize they're just trying to find out as much of your business as they can. It's actually intrusive and rude when people ask too many questions.

Reading boards you can see that many Irish are much more bitter and hateful than they pretend to be. I know it's the internet but it's like night and day compared to how most people here act in person.

After having so many people here be totally two faced I just keep to myself now, because they're going to talk crap about you either way, why waste time keeping up this false pretence that we are friends. It feels like if I tell someone my honest opinion about something or tell them what's happening in my life they're just going to hold it against me, if I brush them off they'll hold that against me. It's just a no win situation but with the brush off at least I'm not revealing anything and is less effort than pretending to be friends. so unfortunately I find it's actually better for my sanity to isolate myself which is pretty dire and sad.

I agree, I moved to rural Ireland 2 and half years ago and my next door neighbour couldn't be friendlier, popping in nearly every day.

Fast forward 6 months and I was taken to hospital in an ambulance. Wouldn't tell her when I came out what was wrong with me, she hasn't uttered a word to me since.

Not nice living next door to that and if I'd less confidence I would be destroyed by it because I don't have any other neighbours, ours are the only two houses on my road.

What contributes to mental health issues in this country?

Well my main theory would be that the Irish people put their trust (rightly or wrongly and without much say in the matter) into three main institutions since the foundation of the state and all three have spectacularly failed them in many different ways over the decades.

These are the political system, the Catholic Church and the banks. You could also add the school system and our Gardai into the equation too. All three former institutions i have referred to have manipulated and abused their trust in the Irish people much like the manipulating, physically and mentally abusing, toxic partner and worse is we have continuously come back for more not knowing any better and not demanding any better...perhaps not believing that there is any better.

The net result of our manipulation is that our people are under huge financial stress in sh1tty jobs at best trying to keep up the payments for aspirations that our greater society has colletively set out for itself (wife, big car, property, 2.4 kids, etc). Its become a neverending pointless rat race. Hence the mess we have made is taking its toll on our mental health

Rural Ireland which is so often wrongly caricatured and mocked on these threads is being taken down brick by brick while our cities and Dublin in particular are becoming overcrowded with a poor and badly planned infrastructure. Politicians meanwhile continually generously renumerate themselves for their incompetence and mismanagement.

The sad thing is that there was men and women once upon a time who were united in a cause and willing to stand shoulder to shoulder and die for this country. What they died for, has become a capitalistic machine where the wealthy get even wealthier and the so called vulnerable are continuously boxed in and punished for bad decisions in life they are meant to have made in the past. James Connolly gave his life for an equal society because he perceived the British as an elite who were exploiting our people.
What a waste.

It may sound like a negative view point and i respect that many of you wont agree. There may be some element of truth in what i post and more of you might think its bullsh*t and thats fair enough

_Kaiser_

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

Excellent point. Even in the UK bold is rarely if ever used to chastise a kid. In Ireland, kids aren't bold anymore. They have ADHD. Get prescribed amphetamines, and apparently they are cured. Problem solved.

There's some truth to this I reckon. While not dismissing for a second that mental health problems are a real issue, I think it's being reached for as an explanation too quickly and too often now.

harry Bailey esq

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

Excellent point. Even in the UK bold is rarely if ever used to chastise a kid. In Ireland, kids aren't bold anymore. They have ADHD. Get prescribed amphetamines, and apparently they are cured. Problem solved.

There is a great story told by Sir Ken Robinson about a conversation he had with Gillian Lynne. Gillian of course was Andrew Lloyd Webbers main choreographer for many years.

Sir Ken asked her how she came to be a dancer and Gillian told him she was a 'giddy' child in school who could never stay still much to the teachers annoyance so her parents brought her to the doctor. In a rare show of common sense, the doctor told the parents that their daughter was not ill and that she was a dancer. He then advised them to bring her to a dance class, so they did. From the moment she took up dancing she loved it and it was full of people just like her, people who couldnt stay still. She says if it was today she would have been diagnosed with ADHD, perscribed meds and sent on her way.

_Kaiser_

First, good thread with some very well thought out replies

My own thoughts are that Ireland has a lot of problems with inferiority and the legacy of British colonialism - even now in 2017.

You see this manifest in ways as has alerady been mentioned such as the "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality that causes enormous pressure on people, but also the even more negative bothering oneself about what your neighbour is getting or "getting away with" that you aren't that manifested during the recession.
This of course is then played upon by the political classes who continuously pit one side against the other - the unemployed vs the employed, the private sector vs the public sector, union workers vs non-union etc etc - all of which serves to distract and deflect from the real issues.
It's even fuelled by the GAA and the exclusion and negative attitudes (as already referred to by others) in small towns of those who aren't involved.. even to the point of the whole "feckin Dubs" nonsense, which extends far beyond sports.

Many Irish people don't think beyond their own immediate family and community and this results in TDs entirely beholden to this parochial mindset, and who spend far more time dealing with planning applications and getting local goodies, than dealing with the national issues they should be focusing on.
The other effect of course is that it should be no surprise when many of them get involved in scandals and corruption. It's a natural byproduct of the selfish "me first" attitude and the reason it continues, and why we as a nation put up with it and the toothless enquiries that follow, is because there is a sizeable number of people out there that admit to themselves that they'd do the EXACT same things given the opportunity/if they had the balls/neck.. we still admire far too many "cute hoors" and this is the result.

Then there's the colonial hangover... not just the whole "de Brits" thing, but how we as a country have this NEED to be liked and validated by others (sure the Irish are great craic), and it extends to our song and dances over smoking bans, same-sex marriages etc. All good things don't get me wrong, but also too focused on showing the world how enlightened and modern we are. It's no wonder we soak up so many of these US-led social media campaigns and how even on this site we regularly witness people being attacked and marginalised for not being fully on-board with whatever the latest online consensus is.
The other aspect of this hangover is how we have to prove to everyone how we can make the big decisions... and usually end up making a mess of it as a result of trying to put our own stamp on it, whether it be through ineffective legislation (that we've badly copied from somewhere), huge amount of waste in public projects etc.

Despite all this, as I said "we" all just let it go all the same and even this post will be attacked as "negative" - hell I might be told to "**** off out of here if you don't like it!" (as I've seen happen many times when anyone calls out or criticises the place or the way it's run), and that perhaps is the most depressing part. Not just the very real problems that exist in our still very young State, but the complete lack of will to acknowledge them and demand better of not just those in the meet-the-new-boss-same-as-the-old-boss Governments, but of ourselves... any negativity is to be dismissed and attacked, not examined for its possible validity.

It's no wonder there's people who feel so hopeless and struggling every day, and even more unfortunately those who can't see any other way out than to do something tragic.

dd972

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

After having so many people here be totally two faced I just keep to myself now, because they're going to talk crap about you either way, why waste time keeping up this false pretence that we are friends. It feels like if I tell someone my honest opinion about something or tell them what's happening in my life they're just going to hold it against me, if I brush them off they'll hold that against me. It's just a no win situation but with the brush off at least I'm not revealing anything and is less effort than pretending to be friends. so unfortunately I find it's actually better for my sanity to isolate myself which is pretty dire and sad.

Recognise every letter of that mate, what gets me about the sort of people I know you're talking about is how they're seemingly given a 'free pass' to be in some tabloid/soap opera and the front page story always seems to elude these b*stards.

fyfe79

Great post Kaiser, how right you are.

server down

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I do think some people are suited to urban and rural living. I lived in a urban area for about two years and I hated it. I lived in an apartment. I had to account basically for my every move to people in neighboring apartments. Where was I going, what I was up to the evening before,etc. Lots of competition over cars, people making noise all night, no open spaces. It drove me insane.

When did this accounting happen? Was there an apartment meeting every day? Seems crazy.

server down

Ireland probably does tolerate eccentricity a little less than the UK.

My feeling about people who think the rest of your town, village or apartment block is talking about you is this - how would you know unless you too participated in some gossip? Unless you met someone who said “that Mary wan is saying crap about you” possibly because you were saying something about her, and because this guy knew you would want this information?

Not sure any of this exacerbates mental health problems.

fryup

^^^^^^^^^^^^

it exacerbates paranoia