What age do guys become invisable....?

Gordon Freeman

It seems to me that once a guy reaches a certain age, say late 30's early 40's, he becomes invisible to females in their 20's. I think ageism has crept in to a lot of the younger female population. They are looking for the TV version of their dream guy, early 20's, tanned, fit, works out regularly, gets his chest waxed, moisturizes before going to bed, etc etc. They would not even entertain the thought of going out with an older guy. I asked a 24 year old what she considered old, 40. Guess I'm screwed, better get myself off to the knackers yard! Opinions please......

Kintarō Hattori

Would you really want to go out with someone of that age? I'll be 40 in a few months and I can tell you.... I'm at a stage where I don't find women of that age attractive. Sure there'll be exceptions and there'll be cases where such an age gap isn't an issue but by and large.... no thanks.

Just to add in.... in my last role I 'caught the eye' of a mid 20s woman in the area I used to work in. A lovely attractive lady.. . I have a bit of a stomach, balding somewhat and had never seen the inside of a gym. In my case at least what you're saying didn't ring true so I think you're being a tad broad and sweeping.

Passenger

Age is a state of mind as they say. It really depends on the individual as some people don't look their age. Some look younger, some look older. Genetics and lifestyle play their part in that.

Gordon Freeman wrote: »

tanned, fit, works out regularly, gets his chest waxed, moisturizes before going to bed, etc etc.

Why don't you do all that?

SEPT 23 1989

As a man approaching 40 I prefer women around my own age or older

A girl in her 20's would hold no appeal

meeeeh

Gordon Freeman wrote: »

They would not even entertain the thought of going out with an older guy. I asked a 24 year old what she considered old, 40. Guess I'm screwed, better get myself off to the knackers yard! Opinions please......

No need to go to knackers yard. Just get yourself a pair of slippers, nice comfy armchair and spend the evenings in front of the TV arguing with whatever programme is on. Like any other elderly gentleman.

njs030

It's not agesim and it hasn't crept in at all it was always considered a bit creepy for 40+ year old men to hang around young women.

meeeeh

notjustsweet wrote: »

It's not agesim and it hasn't crept in at all it was always considered a bit creepy for 40+ year old men to hang around young women.

Ah now don't be too hard on the op. Poor man only managed 15 messages on boards in ten years. He really must suffer deeply considering he decided to post in Ladies Lounge of all places.

Esel

Gordon Freeman wrote: »

I asked a 24 year old what she considered old, 40. Guess I'm not getting screwed, better get myself off to the knackers yard! Opinions please......

FYP

sullivlo

Mod

Will leave this open for the time being, with a reminder that the charter of the ladies lounge applies. This is a forum for women to discuss issues/interests, so this shouldn't turn into a gender bashing thread.

First and only warning. Any muppetry will be actioned. Any questions PM, please don't respond on thread.

Lia_lia

I find many men get better looking with age. Especially into their late 30s early 40s. For the record I'm 28 with a 27 year old OH.

uck51js9zml2yt

I got married at 41, wife was 27, 6'2 ...you get the picture I'm sure;)

Lorelli!

My dad would have only been in his early 40s when I was 20. I would have had no interest in a man that old. When I was 18/19, I even thought 30 was ancient! Of course now I'm in my 30s its young

I'm sure not everyone feels that way but that's just how I felt at the time.

metaoblivia

Some women in their 20s will like older men (by that, I mean 15-20 years), but by and large, women tend to be interested in and date men closer to their own age. So if women in their 20s are the only ones you're attracted to, then I'm afraid you likely will find it more difficult to date them as you get older.

jimgoose

I'm 45 and not invisible yet. Twenty-somethings still occasionally go all a-flutter, and why wouldn't they? 6'2'', built like Bruce Lee, ruggedly handsome, CEO-worthy hair neatly cut, impeccably dressed, witty, cultured and rich as bejabers. I do not wax anything or use moisturisers or indeed anything else much beyond shower-gel and after-shave balm. Pity the aforementioned twenty-somethings look like children to me! :pac:

jimgoose

Lia_lia wrote: »

I find many men get better looking with age. Especially into their late 30s early 40s. For the record I'm 28 with a 27 year old OH.

A man in his forties has a completely different way of carrying himself and interacting with the world to one in his twenties, and some young ladies pick up on that and are attracted to it.

Dial Hard

Gordon Freeman wrote: »

I think ageism has crept in to a lot of the younger female population.

If this is ageism can we not also accuse you of the same thing by seemingly being uninterested in women your own age? :rolleyes:

DancingDaisy

Honestly, age isn't a factor when Im dating. I'm 30 and the ages of the people I'm dating right now vary between 20 and 36. In my 20's, age wasn't a factor either, its about attraction and life experience. Common interests. If you want to spend time with someone because you have stuff to talk about and shared ground, then you don't notice age. If you don't have anything in common then why would you even want to date them?

Im more interested in the women the OP has been rejected by, and what the connection between them was. I would imagine this has far more to do with the issue than age.

Madam Oblong

And you are only interested in 20-something women because...? The conversation is it?

kylith

Fancy many women in their late 50s/early 60s, OP?

Bambi985

Gordon Freeman wrote: »

They are looking for the TV version of their dream guy, early 20's, tanned, fit, works out regularly, gets his chest waxed, moisturizes before going to bed, etc etc.

What's that now? Don't know many women myself who'd be into this type of lad, outside of your reality TV programmes and I'd hardly class that as representative of anyone.

Generally speaking the better looking you are and the more you take care of yourself fitness and health-wise, the more attention you'll get from the opposite sex and that applies to both men and women. Not sure why you'd feel entitled to the attention of a bunch of 24-year-olds though as a 40-year-old man. 24 year olds are generally going to look at other 20-something year olds because that's their frame of reference. Most of them will have dads and uncles your age so they won't consider you as a dating option, just as I'm sure you don't look at women in their 50s and 60s as dating options.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Have your seen the state of the young wans these days?..with their crazy make up and mad eye brows?

RacoonQueen

Still in my 20's (just about) and have always gone for older guys. 5 - 10 years older has always been my thing. Of course, now with 10 years, they're pushing 40 and I'm like oh jaysus :P
Still more attracted to men 5+ years older than me than I am guys my own age, don't interact much with men my own age though other than people who are long term friends (school friends etc) so men I meet and would be attracted to then tend to be older.

It's just a sweeping generalisation to say women aren't attracted to older men. Everyone has their thing.

chuckles30

In my experience age difference matters less as we get older. I think when I was in my 20's, I wouldn't have considered going out with someone in their 40's....which is maybe why I'm still single. I'm now in my 40s and would consider a wider range of ages....although I'd probably be classed as a 'cradle snatcher' if I was seen with a young lad in his 20's :D

lazybones32

jimgoose wrote: »

I'm 45 and not invisible yet. Twenty-somethings still occasionally go all a-flutter, and why wouldn't they? 6'2'', built like Bruce Lee, ruggedly handsome, CEO-worthy hair neatly cut, impeccably dressed, witty, cultured and rich as bejabers. I do not wax anything or use moisturisers or indeed anything else much beyond shower-gel and after-shave balm. Pity the aforementioned twenty-somethings look like children to me! :pac:

Not to mention your humility and modesty!

Dr Crayfish

What a ridiculous thread. I'm 37 and I wouldn't expect a girl in her 20s to have any interest in an aulfella like me. Tbh I'd prefer a younger girl because kids and all but most of us mere mortal men can't pick and choose!

RacoonQueen

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

What a ridiculous thread. I'm 37 and I wouldn't expect a girl in her 20s to have any interest in an aulfella like me. Tbh I'd prefer a younger girl because kids and all but most of us mere mortal men can't pick and choose!

Ah here, 37 isn't old! Men get better (less annoying :pac:) with age...like fine wines.

jimgoose

lazybones32 wrote: »

Not to mention your humility and modesty!

My best features!

Dr Crayfish

RacoonQueen wrote: »

Ah here, 37 isn't old! Men get better (less annoying :pac:) with age...like fine wines.

I know it's not old and I look after myself but I don't think for a second a 26 year old would have any interest in me, although lately I seem to be very popular with girls my own age and older for sure!

meeeeh

RacoonQueen wrote: »

Ah here, 37 isn't old! Men get better (less annoying :pac:) with age...like fine wines.

Not the ones that are chasing 20 year olds.

Ok that is not entirely accurate, there are some very sound single men in their thirties (or older) but there are also plenty of sleazy, sports car driving older men who are looking for new accessory.

Dr Crayfish

Permabear wrote: »

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How in the name of Jayzus does that work? I was chatting to my 21 year old cousin recently and I could barely even understand half the lingo him and his mates were using. I couldn't possibly have anything in common really with a 20 year old never mind go out with one! If it works it works though good luck!

Permabear

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DancingDaisy

I'm dating a 19 year old girl at the moment. Our interests are similar, so I don't really see age as a thing! We both like fantasy books, stationary and similar music and films.

She's also dating an older guy again, but again, similar interests.

Gordon Freeman

Gordon Freeman wrote: »

They are looking for the TV version of their dream guy, early 20's, tanned, fit, works out regularly, gets his chest waxed, moisturizes before going to bed, etc etc.

No, they're just not interested in dating a guy twice their age.

Gordon Freeman wrote: »

I asked a 24 year old what she considered old, 40. Guess I'm screwed, better get myself off to the knackers yard!

So it's girls in their 20s or nothing for you? :rolleyes:

OP only looking for a rant.

joe40

A man in his forties is complaining that women in their twenties are not interested in him romantically? I just hope he is having a laugh because if serious , it must be the saddest, most ridiculous thing I have read on boards.

Wibbs

Deleted User wrote: »

No, they're just not interested in dating a guy twice their age.

This. Yes there exists a subset of women who have a preference for older men, but it's quite the small subset. Even with them "older" is a variable. the ones going for 10-15 years older are a much larger percentage than those going for 20 years or more older. It hugely depends on the man too. Some "go off the boil" in attractiveness(looks, attitude, personality) earlier than others. Even so the pool of women in their twenties that would do a helloooo double take with a man in his forties is very small. Women in their thirties who would is a much larger group.

Dr Crayfish wrote:

I know it's not old and I look after myself but I don't think for a second a 26 year old would have any interest in me,

Funny enough when I was 37 I was going out with a 26 year old. I suppose I "peaked" in attractiveness to women in my mid/late 30's. TBH I'd nearly bet that if I'd met the same woman and I was 30, she wouldn't have looked at me twice.

Apollo House Creed

A good friend in his 40s has pulled women from 20-24. He is very good lucking and confident.

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

This. Yes there exists a subset of women who have a preference for older men, but it's quite the small subset. Even with them "older" is a variable. the ones going for 10-15 years older are a much larger percentage than those going for 20 years or more older. It hugely depends on the man too.

In my experience (myself included), women who say they are looking for an older man really mean they are looking for a more mature man, whatever age that may be. Age is just assumed to be an indicator of maturity.

leggo

OP being honest it sounds like you've stopped caring about looking after yourself and want to find an excuse to blame the rest of the world for not giving you the attention you feel you deserve, without actually wanting to do anything to deserve it. If you want people to be attracted to you, be attractive, it's not complicated. And if you find that the problem is with either you or the rest of the world, it's generally with you.

MickDoyle1979

Gordon Freeman wrote: »

It seems to me that once a guy reaches a certain age, say late 30's early 40's, he becomes invisible to females in their 20's. I think ageism has crept in to a lot of the younger female population. They are looking for the TV version of their dream guy, early 20's, tanned, fit, works out regularly, gets his chest waxed, moisturizes before going to bed, etc etc. They would not even entertain the thought of going out with an older guy. I asked a 24 year old what she considered old, 40. Guess I'm screwed, better get myself off to the knackers yard! Opinions please......

If a man has money he never becomes invisible

DancingDaisy

MickDoyle1979 wrote: »

If a man has money he never becomes invisible

Wow... just wow. That's entirely untrue and unfair, and I assume posted purely to be inflammatory.

Addle

DancingDaisy wrote: »

Wow... just wow. That's entirely untrue and unfair, and I assume posted purely to be inflammatory.

It's not entirely untrue in fairness.

DancingDaisy

Addle wrote: »

It's not entirely untrue in fairness.

It's posted in a way that paints women as gold diggers or sugar babies as a generalization. I honestly don't think any woman would date a man purely for money, there's a lot more to a relationship, and without the rest of it, there's no real chance at a relationship.

Addle

DancingDaisy wrote: »

I honestly don't think any woman would date a man purely for money

Then you're naive.

bee06

DancingDaisy wrote: »

It's posted in a way that paints women as gold diggers or sugar babies as a generalization. I honestly don't think any woman would date a man purely for money, there's a lot more to a relationship, and without the rest of it, there's no real chance at a relationship.

Really? You think Melania Trump is with Donald from his good looks and sparkling personality?

There are plenty of women who will date men who buy them things. Most of the men are well aware of this as well and are quite happy to be taken for a ride if they are getting the ride.

Permabear

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leggo

Yeah I think, for the most part, there's more of a middle ground than many would like to admit. When people say women use men for money or men just go for physical attractiveness and want a trophy, the generalisation reeks a bit of bitterness. While I'm sure there are some relationships like that, the amount of genuine, quantifiable relationships that have lasted long enough to be able to count probably work off the man's wealthiness being part of what makes him legitimately attractive, see also the woman's physical attractiveness. If a guy is constantly broke, can't go anywhere or do anything, nobody would judge someone if they found that unattractive because there's generally an unattractive reason behind those circumstances. And the opposite can be true for wealthy people. Speaking confidently in such broad strokes generally just conveys ignorance.

bee06

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

Just to be clear, I was not saying at all women are y or all men are x. That would be pretty stupid of me because I couldn't care less about my husbands net worth. It's not all about younger women with older man either. I've seen many cases with couples of the same age where the woman is getting expensive bags and he pays for all the dinners etc.

njs030

bee06 wrote: »

Just to be clear, I was not saying at all women are y or all men are x. That would be pretty stupid of me because I couldn't care less about my husbands net worth. It's not all about younger women with older man either. I've seen many cases with couples of the same age where the woman is getting expensive bags and he pays for all the dinners etc.

Thankfully most well balanced women aren't trading relationships for money, imo there's never a good healthy relationship where there's a huge age gap - there's always one giving something and one gaining something.

My daughter is almost 18 and it makes my skin crawl thinking men older than me would attempt to go near her. Yuck.

Permabear

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Spider Web

No word back I see. Very doubtful such a self pitying whinge in relation to something that has always been the case (women in their 20s usually not being interested in men in their late 30s and 40s - and vice versa) and is nothing new... could be genuine.