Little moments that made you realise someone's no good

zcorpian88

robbiezero wrote: »

Fair enough. You seem to have been quite invested in their relationship. Not really seeing why it had to bother you so much if you were completely over her.

Being honest I didn't think he'd have even had a shot with her, he was picking at me for a while to invite her out, didn't think he had a shot, eventually I just invited her out to get him off my back, thought he'd be turned down and that would be it, gets off with her overnight then, a year previously I was after her for weeks and weeks before eventually giving up.

Found someone else, within 5 weeks of me being with that someone else, the other one texts me stating she had feelings for me, but I said "Well what do you want me to do about that now? why hesitate for so long?" I had already made my new relationship serious by that point, stayed with her for nearly 2 years, that ended abysmally in the end, I broke it off because of a mountain of complications on her end.

Within weeks of my break-up, I hung out with the now ex friend and herself more than I had at that point, being after a break-up, you need friends around, and over the following months that I tried to keep out of but it picked at me under the surface, I could just see him treating her badly, stupid rows about really small things, lying about quitting smoking and looking for praise in regard to it, heard a small bit of gossip from a female friend too that she went over to his one night, he was pawing for sex, she wasn't in the mood and he basically shouted at her "What did you bother coming over for then??" Which is pretty bad.

He has also had a number of falling outs with people in our friend circle over various arguments, a row over payment for a car share agreement for a 25km, 5 day per week commute to a bordering county was one of them, like he believes the car runs on friendship instead of money or something, and had another argument with another couple in our group over something else, it's a long story. Basically he's one of these egocentric people that doesn't accept defeat in an argument and doesn't take responsibility for himself, everyone else is wrong and he is right, type of thing.

Then later this arseslap in the pub, I'm just like "F**k sake, if it were me with any relationship I was in, it wouldn't last pissing time if I acted like that"

OhHiMark

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Being honest I didn't think he'd have even had a shot with her, he was picking at me for a while to invite her out, didn't think he had a shot, eventually I just invited her out to get him off my back, thought he'd be turned down and that would be it, gets off with her overnight then, a year previously I was after her for weeks and weeks before eventually giving up.

Found someone else, within 5 weeks of me being with that someone else, the other one texts me stating she had feelings for me, but I said "Well what do you want me to do about that now? why hesitate for so long?" I had already made my new relationship serious by that point, stayed with her for nearly 2 years, that ended abysmally in the end, I broke it off because of a mountain of complications on her end.

Within weeks of my break-up, I hung out with the now ex friend and herself more than I had at that point, being after a break-up, you need friends around, and over the following months that I tried to keep out of but it picked at me under the surface, I could just see him treating her badly, stupid rows about really small things, lying about quitting smoking and looking for praise in regard to it, heard a small bit of gossip from a female friend too that she went over to his one night, he was pawing for sex, she wasn't in the mood and he basically shouted at her "What did you bother coming over for then??" Which is pretty bad.

He has also had a number of falling outs with people in our friend circle over various arguments, a row over payment for a car share agreement for a 25km, 5 day per week commute to a bordering county was one of them, like he believes the car runs on friendship instead of money or something, and had another argument with another couple in our group over something else, it's a long story. Basically he's one of these egocentric people that doesn't accept defeat in an argument and doesn't take responsibility for himself, everyone else is wrong and he is right, type of thing.

Then later this arseslap in the pub, I'm just like "F**k sake, if it were me with any relationship I was in, it wouldn't last pissing time if I acted like that"

Do you have a link to your notes about the relationship or have you not had them transcribed yet?

Gravelly

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Being honest I didn't think he'd have even had a shot with her, he was picking at me for a while to invite her out, didn't think he had a shot, eventually I just invited her out to get him off my back, thought he'd be turned down and that would be it, gets off with her overnight then, a year previously I was after her for weeks and weeks before eventually giving up.

Found someone else, within 5 weeks of me being with that someone else, the other one texts me stating she had feelings for me, but I said "Well what do you want me to do about that now? why hesitate for so long?" I had already made my new relationship serious by that point, stayed with her for nearly 2 years, that ended abysmally in the end, I broke it off because of a mountain of complications on her end.

Within weeks of my break-up, I hung out with the now ex friend and herself more than I had at that point, being after a break-up, you need friends around, and over the following months that I tried to keep out of but it picked at me under the surface, I could just see him treating her badly, stupid rows about really small things, lying about quitting smoking and looking for praise in regard to it, heard a small bit of gossip from a female friend too that she went over to his one night, he was pawing for sex, she wasn't in the mood and he basically shouted at her "What did you bother coming over for then??" Which is pretty bad.

He has also had a number of falling outs with people in our friend circle over various arguments, a row over payment for a car share agreement for a 25km, 5 day per week commute to a bordering county was one of them, like he believes the car runs on friendship instead of money or something, and had another argument with another couple in our group over something else, it's a long story. Basically he's one of these egocentric people that doesn't accept defeat in an argument and doesn't take responsibility for himself, everyone else is wrong and he is right, type of thing.

Then later this arseslap in the pub, I'm just like "F**k sake, if it were me with any relationship I was in, it wouldn't last pissing time if I acted like that"

Does he have a pet rabbit?

retro:electro

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Being honest I didn't think he'd have even had a shot with her, he was picking at me for a while to invite her out, didn't think he had a shot, eventually I just invited her out to get him off my back, thought he'd be turned down and that would be it, gets off with her overnight then, a year previously I was after her for weeks and weeks before eventually giving up.

Found someone else, within 5 weeks of me being with that someone else, the other one texts me stating she had feelings for me, but I said "Well what do you want me to do about that now? why hesitate for so long?" I had already made my new relationship serious by that point, stayed with her for nearly 2 years, that ended abysmally in the end, I broke it off because of a mountain of complications on her end.

Within weeks of my break-up, I hung out with the now ex friend and herself more than I had at that point, being after a break-up, you need friends around, and over the following months that I tried to keep out of but it picked at me under the surface, I could just see him treating her badly, stupid rows about really small things, lying about quitting smoking and looking for praise in regard to it, heard a small bit of gossip from a female friend too that she went over to his one night, he was pawing for sex, she wasn't in the mood and he basically shouted at her "What did you bother coming over for then??" Which is pretty bad.

He has also had a number of falling outs with people in our friend circle over various arguments, a row over payment for a car share agreement for a 25km, 5 day per week commute to a bordering county was one of them, like he believes the car runs on friendship instead of money or something, and had another argument with another couple in our group over something else, it's a long story. Basically he's one of these egocentric people that doesn't accept defeat in an argument and doesn't take responsibility for himself, everyone else is wrong and he is right, type of thing.

Then later this arseslap in the pub, I'm just like "F**k sake, if it were me with any relationship I was in, it wouldn't last pissing time if I acted like that"

Sounds like you're just bitter that he got her and you didn't.
Do you have this on file and you just copy and paste it when it suits?

Gravelly

Gravelly wrote: »

Does he have a pet rabbit?

Ah stop. He likes the girl and sees her being lied to and the guy acting up behind her back and it doesn't sit right with him.

That's fair enough, especially when the rest of the friend group all know about the smoking and she's the only one who doesn't, and she sits there telling him how great he is for quitting and everyone else knows he's lying. She'll feel like a right dope if she finds out, and knows everyone else knew and kept it from her.

Gravelly

Candie wrote: »

Ah stop. He likes the girl and sees her being lied to and the guy acting up behind her back and it doesn't sit right with him.

I think it might be a teeny weeny bit more than that. He seems to have a spooky amount of info on their relationship and appears to be very, very jealous of it.

Gravelly

Gravelly wrote: »

I think it might be a teeny weeny bit more than that. He seems to have a spooky amount of info on their relationship and appears to be very, very jealous of it.

I saw it as him being aware of it, rather than jealous. I think people are reading too much into the post.

If you like someone, you don't like seeing them being taken for a fool. I think that's fair enough, I'd be uncomfortable watching someone I liked being lied to and disrespected as well.

Gravelly

Candie wrote: »

I saw it as him being aware of it, rather than jealous. I think people are reading too much into the post.

If you like someone, you don't like seeing them being taken for a fool. I think that's fair enough, I'd be uncomfortable watching someone I liked being lied to and disrespected as well.

Yes, very, very, very, aware. Scarily aware. There are bunny boiling levels of awareness going on.

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Being honest I didn't think he'd have even had a shot with her, he was picking at me for a while to invite her out, didn't think he had a shot, eventually I just invited her out to get him off my back, thought he'd be turned down and that would be it, gets off with her overnight then, a year previously I was after her for weeks and weeks before eventually giving up.

Found someone else, within 5 weeks of me being with that someone else, the other one texts me stating she had feelings for me, but I said "Well what do you want me to do about that now? why hesitate for so long?" I had already made my new relationship serious by that point, stayed with her for nearly 2 years, that ended abysmally in the end, I broke it off because of a mountain of complications on her end.

Within weeks of my break-up, I hung out with the now ex friend and herself more than I had at that point, being after a break-up, you need friends around, and over the following months that I tried to keep out of but it picked at me under the surface, I could just see him treating her badly, stupid rows about really small things, lying about quitting smoking and looking for praise in regard to it, heard a small bit of gossip from a female friend too that she went over to his one night, he was pawing for sex, she wasn't in the mood and he basically shouted at her "What did you bother coming over for then??" Which is pretty bad.

He has also had a number of falling outs with people in our friend circle over various arguments, a row over payment for a car share agreement for a 25km, 5 day per week commute to a bordering county was one of them, like he believes the car runs on friendship instead of money or something, and had another argument with another couple in our group over something else, it's a long story. Basically he's one of these egocentric people that doesn't accept defeat in an argument and doesn't take responsibility for himself, everyone else is wrong and he is right, type of thing.

Then later this arseslap in the pub, I'm just like "F**k sake, if it were me with any relationship I was in, it wouldn't last pissing time if I acted like that"

Wanderer2010

People who judge others on appearance or class, despite never having had a conversation with that person.
Even worse- people who don't like someone else based completely on the opinion of their friends or co workers. Nothing weaker of character than a person who makes up their mind about someone else before even getting to know them first.

Gravelly

Gravelly wrote: »

Yes, very, very, very, aware. Scarily aware. There are bunny boiling levels of awareness going on.

Look, that's fine if you don't agree with me. I think he was making a well-meaning point and it really shouldn't matter if he was into her or not.

She's being lied to and her boyfriend is disrespecting her and it put him off the guy, that's fair enough if he's into her, jealous, not into her, or whatever. I agree with him, the guy showed himself in a bad light and it would put me off someone too.

Gravelly

Candie wrote: »

Look, that's fine if you don't agree with me. I think he was making a well-meaning point and it really shouldn't matter if he was into her or not.

She's being lied to and her boyfriend is disrespecting her and it put him off the guy, that's fair enough if he's into her, jealous, not into her, or whatever. I agree with him, the guy showed himself in a bad light and it would put me off someone too.

Unless the boyfriend is abusing her mentally and/or physically it's absolutely none of his business and he shouldn't interfere. He's not a relationship counsellor. If you can't see how creepy the level of detail he goes into about the relationship of people that he apparently isn't actually even friends with, then I'm not sure what to say to you. I've a feeling if we heard the couple's side of the story it might be very different (and I also have a feeling if they knew his obsession with them he'd either be getting a visit from the guy, or from the Gardai).

Gravelly

Gravelly wrote: »

Unless the boyfriend is abusing her mentally and/or physically it's absolutely none of his business and he shouldn't interfere. He's not a relationship counsellor. If you can't see how creepy the level of detail he goes into about the relationship of people that he apparently isn't actually even friends with, then I'm not sure what to say to you. I've a feeling if we heard the couple's side of the story it might be very different (and I also have a feeling if they knew his obsession with them he'd either be getting a visit from the guy, or from the Gardai).

Now that's an overreaction.

The thread is about small moments that put you off someone. He saw a girl he liked being lied to and it put him off her boyfriend.

Let's leave the psychoanalysis and calling the cops and the bunnyboiling assumptions to one side, and accept the post in the spirit of the thread.

I won't be responding again since I think he's been picked apart enough and that calling him creepy is going too far.

Gravelly

Candie wrote: »

Now that's an overreaction.

The thread is about small moments that put you off someone. He saw a girl he liked being lied to and it put him off her boyfriend.

Let's leave the psychoanalysis and calling the cops and the bunnyboiling assumptions to one side, and accept the post in the spirit of the thread.

I won't be responding again since I think he's been picked apart enough and that calling him creepy is going too far.

:rolleyes: You're not the girl in this story are you?

Candie

Candie wrote: »

Now that's an overreaction.

The thread is about small moments that put you off someone. He saw a girl he liked being lied to and it put him off her boyfriend.

Unsurprisingly I fully agree. Lies are very off putting.

Not sure I'd be that bothered about lies between other people though. It's kinda...their relationship and their business.

tupenny

Seeing my now ex throw an empty beer bottle in a lake in a beautiful part of the country, knew there and then he wasn't for me

bucketybuck

zcorpian88 wrote: »

gets off with her overnight then, a year previously I was after her for weeks and weeks before eventually giving up.

Now we see the real reason for your weirdly inappropriate attitude towards two other peoples relationship. She never slept with you, but she shagged him straight away and you cant handle it.

I bet this girl took a right look at you when you broke the ground shaking news about her boyfriend having a fag behind her back and once flirting with a girl.

Biggest lickspittle on boardz

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

People who judge others on appearance or class, despite never having had a conversation with that person.
Even worse- people who don't like someone else based completely on the opinion of their friends or co workers. Nothing weaker of character than a person who makes up their mind about someone else before even getting to know them first.

Ehm....If I see someone snorting and spitting a dirty hock onto the street, walking with their hands down their pants, or has disgusting personal hygiene, I'm going to judge them instantly.

In general though, I'd agree with your other points.

by8auj6csd3ioq

Biggest lickspittle on boardz wrote: »

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

People who judge others on appearance or class, despite never having had a conversation with that person.
Even worse- people who don't like someone else based completely on the opinion of their friends or co workers. Nothing weaker of character than a person who makes up their mind about someone else before even getting to know them first.

Ehm....If I see someone snorting and spitting a dirty hock onto the street, walking with their hands down their pants, or has disgusting personal hygiene, I'm going to judge them instantly.

In general though, I'd agree with your other points.

In the olden days there was a competition called The Longest Spit complete with trophy... I can't find a reference to it in Ireland but it was. I was told by someone who was there at that time

by8auj6csd3ioq

Gravelly wrote: »

fizzypish wrote: »

Have to disagree with you there. Alcohol is a drug and it alters your state of mind. Know a few people who are difficult to be around drunk but fine sober. Alcohol removes filters but these filters are an intrinsic part of someones personality. Its just not as simple in all cases that if your a drunk dickhead then your always a dickhead.

I came to this conclusion after many years experience, but it is just my opinion, so might not be true for everyone. I used to think like you did, that drink just didn't suit some people, but now I know that in every single case I've ever known, people who are nasty when drunk don't suddenly get that way, it is always there, they've just learned to hide it. As you said yourself, "alcohol removes filters" - if not acting like an ársehole is just a filter, it means you are an ársehole, you just manage to keep it hidden a lot of the time.

Or   "A drunken man tells a sober mind"

Wanderer2010

Biggest lickspittle on boardz wrote: »

Ehm....If I see someone snorting and spitting a dirty hock onto the street, walking with their hands down their pants, or has disgusting personal hygiene, I'm going to judge them instantly.

In general though, I'd agree with your other points.

Remember, some people could have "disgusting personal hygiene" because they are struggling with a mental disorder, they are stressed out with a personal problem so much they neglect themselves, they are homeless or any number of other reasons. They could be perfectly normal human beings with intelligence, morals and dreams behind that exterior.

Nobody is perfect all the time you know.

Firblog

skirteen wrote: »

My former next-door neighbour came home after a night out, decided to cook for himself, thought better of it and went to bed for the night leaving the pan on the cooker. I was in bed and only woke because my other half had also been out and made a racket coming in. I smell smoke, go to the top of my stairs and realise my hallway is filling up with smoke. After a quick check around our own house I realise the smoke is from next door and, looking through their letterbox, can see black smoke so call the Fire Brigade. At this stage we don't know if anyone is home as there were no cars in the drive. The FB access the house, extinguished the pan in flames on the cooker and then emerge with our neighbour wrapped in a blanket and wearing an oxygen mask. He's taken off in an ambulance and the Fire Officer commends us on saving his life.
We see him in the garden the next day and I go out to see how he is. As soon as he saw me he dived into his house and neither him or his wife ever acknowledged us again. A simple 'thank you' would have been sufficient!
They moved out soon after, rented the house out to the tenants from hell and we got nothing but abuse and hassle when we complained. We ended up selling up and moving house.

No good deed goes unpunished..

2ygb4cmqetsjhx

Maybe people will disagree with me for this one but anyway here it goes.

I was in a Taxi in Guangzhou in China with a friend of mine. We were not best mates or anything but he was kind of someone I'd head out drinking with. There are four of us in the Taxi and we are heading back to our hotel. He is in the back seat with me and another guy and our Dutch friend who can speak fairly decent Mandarin. The guy is kind of a vanilla Ned Flanders kind of guy. As the Taxi driver is driving he is on his iPhone checking the route we are going and shouting at the top of his voice this isn't the correct way the guy is taking us for a ride and trying to scam us. He is telling the Dutch guy in the front to please explain to him that he should go the other way. Dutch guy is just chilled and knows we are going in generally the correct the direction and says nothing. We arrive anyway and my mate is in a really bad mood. Tells us hell take care of the bill. He told the Taxi driver he's not paying as he was trying to scam us. The price of the taxi was only like 11 euro or something. So he didn't pay the taxi because he thinks he went the wrong way but in my opinion the reaction was way over the top and I still think about this whenever I see him.

Another night we were out with him and actually it was the same people. We were in a bar and some Chinese girls wanted to talk to us and he sent them away. I wasn't single at the time but some of the other lads where and he sent the the girls away telling them "can you leave us alone we just want to have a relaxing beer". I just found him somebody very difficult to socialise with as he doesn't know any flexibility.

Another time we were also in Guangzhou and this guy wanted to eat some food. He found this restaurant in a his lonely planet guide and we walked all around the city looking for this. We were starving and walking for ages past hundreds of restaurants. Food is everywhere in China. But he was adamant he wanted to go to this place in the ****ing book. I was going on a trip to Japan and he offered to lend me his lonely planet guide.

He was also really angry with me because I went on a trip to Japan Solo. He still tells me he can't believe I went with him solo. But I went without him because he's too stressful. When you order a pint he will get pissed if you don't toast before drinking the thing.

Anyway. We are still friends but I know that this guy has no chill.

retro:electro

I hope one of you paid the taxi driver after he refused to!

2ygb4cmqetsjhx

anna080 wrote: »

I hope one of you paid the taxi driver after he refused to!

No. It was later in the hotel he told us. Like when we were inside.

Dramatik

When you're talking to someone and you happen to look down at their feet and they're wearing a pair of crocs :eek:

368100

When someone seems so genuine when you meet them first...but then they lie...and lie again, and again until you realise nothing they said was in fact true. Nothing.

fizzypish

Kennedi Zealous Eye wrote: »

Anyway. We are still friends but I know that this guy has no chill.

If the day ever comes that you decide that you want to drop this friend, take a deep breath and don't drop him.... immediately... Someone like this is going to be a barrel of laughs to **** with when your not attached to them any more. I'm sure he's got loads of good qualities not displayed above of course.

kunst nugget

fizzypish wrote: »

If the day ever comes that you decide that you want to drop this friend, take a deep breath and don't drop him.... immediately... Someone like this is going to be a barrel of laughs to **** with when your not attached to them any more. I'm sure he's got loads of good qualities not displayed above of course.

That's an incredibly arseholey thing to do. If you don't want to hang around with someone anymore, just don't. Don't fúck about with them for your own amusement. That's unbelievably mean-spirited.

If my children acted like that, I'd be ashamed of them.

Ineedaname

BillyBobBS wrote: »

Anyone who looks down on someone on the dole. Snide comments like "but they can afford sky sports" etc..

Also cnuts who make comments about women with kids and no man in her life, stuff like "she should have kept her legs crossed" etc...

This.

Know a few like that. Funnily enough they're the same type that are suddenly bursting for the jacks any time a round is due.

branie2

Hipsters