House husband (partner)

the_pen_turner

I'm a great believer that a job will take as long as you have to do it.
if a job could take 2 hours but you give 2 separate people the job... give one 2 hours and the other 2 and a half . both will usually take the full time allowed

if you have all day to do your jobs you will take all day

368100

My brother in law is a house husband....but rather than it be a modern equal role type thinget, he's just a lazy b*******.......my sister still ends up doing most of what's needed around the house when she gets home from work.

the_pen_turner

pilly wrote: »

I think you're being very judgemental of something that you really know nothing about to be honest.

how do you know what I know
I'm a great believer in letting kids be kids and not molly codling them. teach them discipline and to entertain themselves.

how am I judge mental. If I see this behaviour a few times a year I wouldn't read too much into it. when you see it most days you see a pattern.

the_pen_turner

368100 wrote: »

My brother in law is a house husband....but rather than it be a modern equal role type thinget, he's just a lazy b*******.......my sister still ends up doing most of what's needed around the house when she gets home from work.

that's the other side of it .
that happens when either gender stays at home. one stays at home and does f all all day and the other has to do loads when they get home. I know a woman that is like this. she does nothing all day. her boyfriend does everything. he cooks, cleans, does the laundry and shopping. he has tried loads of times to get her moving

Marz66

the_pen_turner wrote: »

I'm a great believer that a job will take as long as you have to do it.
if a job could take 2 hours but you give 2 separate people the job... give one 2 hours and the other 2 and a half . both will usually take the full time allowed

if you have all day to do your jobs you will take all day

I think you have a point here but most people taking time out of the workforce are doing it to spend time with their kids, and they do chores when they can so they aren't sitting around doing nothing.

Older kids need less attention but have the other issues like homework, sports etc

Younger kids constantly interrupt your day needing attention, nappy changes, stop them hurting themselves, their siblings...

the_pen_turner

Marz66 wrote: »

I think you have a point here but most people taking time out of the workforce are doing it to spend time with their kids, and they do chores when they can so they aren't sitting around doing nothing.

Older kids need less attention but have the other issues like homework, sports etc

Younger kids constantly interrupt your day needing attention, nappy changes, stop them hurting themselves, their siblings...

I would have no problem with people helping the kids or playing all day. that's great.
what I see is a lot of people watching telly like Ireland am, midday show, home and away, neighbours , afternoon show, reruns of soaps, all kinds of sky plussed stuff

eviltwin

the_pen_turner wrote: »

how do you know what I know
I'm a great believer in letting kids be kids and not molly codling them. teach them discipline and to entertain themselves.

how am I judge mental. If I see this behaviour a few times a year I wouldn't read too much into it. when you see it most days you see a pattern.

I'm not a helicopter parent by any means but spending time with your children and mollycoddling them are the same thing. And if you spend time with your kids then housework and other stuff tends to get put on the long finger. I had this morning off, I think I got my dishes washed and the laundry on the line and that's it. I only have one child to take care of but he's on holidays so we had to go to the playground, do the shopping, make dinner, sort the animals out.....by the time that was done there was no time left for any housework. And to be honest, today was such a lovely day i wouldn't blame anyone not bothering with the housework to spend time with the children. If I'd not had to work I'd have done the same.

coffee_cake

I'd love to have the spare time to be conducting research on what people view
Well, not really

the_pen_turner

bluewolf wrote: »

I'd love to have the spare time to be conducting research on what people view
Well, not really

if your in and out through the kitchen where they are watching it or in the room next to them . then you can hear what their watching.

Marz66

the_pen_turner wrote: »

I would have no problem with people helping the kids or playing all day. that's great.
what I see is a lot of people watching telly like Ireland am, midday show, home and away, neighbours , afternoon show, reruns of soaps, all kinds of sky plussed stuff

Fair enough. Maybe some people are not working constantly at home. But maybe they shouldn't be - if they are minding the kids & the home 7 days a week, maybe they deserve some tv every day too. Not all day every day though!

Balmed Out

With more girls doing better in school then boys, taking more university places and entering careers with more earning potential then their partners I reckon its going to be far more common to be a house husband in 20 years then it is today.

From a couples perspective it doesn't make sense for a solicitor to take a career break while her husband working as delivery driver earning half as much stays working.

Between my wife and I, I think I would be better suited and more importantly happier to stay at home with the kids full time. At the moment its a hard thing for a man to do due to society's gender expectations and that he isnt likely to have friends doing the same.

Pac1Man

I couldn't do it given the choice. Would feel like I have lost my manhood.

the_pen_turner

there was a guy on the radio last year. Moncrieff I think. he said that the hardest thing about be the one that stays at home and looks after the kids is that when he goes shopping he is treated like an idiot and women rush to give him condescending advice . they treated him like it was his first day having kids and that they were landed on him while the wife was gone off. I think he said something to the effect of that some of the cashiers would even tell him to ring his wife to make sure that the nappies or food was the correct size or type

Balmed Out

Pac1Man wrote: »

I couldn't do it given the choice. Would feel like I have lost my manhood.

Personally not sure anything would make me feel I lost my manhood short of an encounter with Ms Bobbitt but would you feel as valued or pulling your weight more earning a quarter of what your wife does or being a stay at home Dad?

the_pen_turner wrote: »

there was a guy on the radio last year. Moncrieff I think. he said that the hardest thing about be the one that stays at home and looks after the kids is that when he goes shopping he is treated like an idiot and women rush to give him condescending advice . they treated him like it was his first day having kids and that they were landed on him while the wife was gone off. I think he said something to the effect of that some of the cashiers would even tell him to ring his wife to make sure that the nappies or food was the correct size or type

Not a stay at home parent but would sometimes work noon till late and be about with the toddlers in the morning. Never get that but constantly have elderly women coming up to me and telling me what a wonderful Dad I am which I never understood as we'd only be out walking or whatever until an old man came up to me saying how lucky I was and that he felt he couldn't be as involved with his kids as it wasn't the done thing and always wished he could have played and spent more time with them.

Pac1Man

Balmed Out wrote: »

Personally not sure anything would make me feel I lost my manhood short of an encounter with Ms Bobbitt but would you feel as valued or pulling your weight more earning a quarter of what your wife does or being a stay at home Dad?

As I said, given the choice. There is no choice in your scenario; I would have to stay at home.

Romantic Rose

I am home with my two wee ones over the summer- 1 and 4 and boy is it busy. I absolutely love it but you are on your feet all day and you feel like you're chasing your tail around constantly.

Between shopping, cooking, feeding, dishes, cleaning, tidying up toys, laundry, dressing, nursing, plastering, bandaging, entertaining, playing, taxi ing, lugging children out of car seats, bathing, storytelling...It's just a never ending list that you never get on top of.

Like I said I love it and I cherish my time with my children but it's not for the faint hearted

alberto67

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply.

Good points from everyone, I think most of us agree that it can be hard work but includes some down time. I am optimistic and pretty sure I'll enjoy it. Our situation may be easier than some others as it's one child.

I don't think I'll feel lonely, but we'll see (never say never). I'm fairly hands on and will certainly like changing our washable environment-friendly nappies ;-)

pilly

alberto67 wrote: »

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply.

Good points from everyone, I think most of us agree that it can be hard work but includes some down time. I am optimistic and pretty sure I'll enjoy it. Our situation may be easier than some others as it's one child.

I don't think I'll feel lonely, but we'll see (never say never). I'm fairly hands on and will certainly like changing our washable environment-friendly nappies ;-)

Think of the money you'll save in bin charges.

alberto67

pilly wrote: »

Think of the money you'll save in bin charges.

True

And it's good that something environmentally friendly is cheaper than the usual stuff.