Devisive flat mate issues

Billy86

Had a great pair of room mates before who were forever eating porridge in the morning and leaving the bowls in the sink - I'm not mad on the stuff so never knew before that porridge basically becomes superglue if you leave it there to dry. They'd leave all their other dishes etc there too which was also annoying but myself and the other flatmate kind of turned the other cheek on it, figuring cleaning up after each other was fine. The problem there was when there was so much as a teaspoon left in the sink by either of us, the passive aggressive texts began to flood in.

So we developed a weekly rota, which the other two never stuck by beyond the first week and would then have kittens over if it was someone else's week and the cleaning wasn't constantly up to snuff. Also the endless complaining about there being no plates, cutlery in the presses when all either of us ever brought into our rooms was a glass of water.

Then we noticed there were some insects popping up in the house, which was just flat out nasty. So one of the two called the landlord who got in an exterminator, advising us to clear everything in the entire apartment into the main room before their visit. The day before this, the other two flatmates were mysteriously nowhere to be found, so the two of us cleaned it and left our stuff on top of the couches with room left for the other two to put theirs on top also. I didn't hear them come home, but got up for a glass of water in the middle of the night and noticed the other flatmates stuff flung on the ground and theirs in his place.

Lo and behold the exterminator came along and found woodlice and other rotten things coming from the other two flatmates rooms, where there were plates of food etc lying about for days on end, if not longer. We then got a text later from the two of them saying they felt we should put everything back in place because "we didn't cause the mess" - and that's when we both blew up on them. Came back later to find the place cleaned, they didn't say a word on it.

The silver lining being when the other flatmate let us know he was moving in with his girlfriend, I suggested us all going separate ways... the other two said no, because they could not afford to even if they wanted to. We had three months left on the lease so I figured I would just see it out to make life easier all around. Two days later, the flatmates girlfriend let us know that -both- of them had applied to the listing for the place she was moving out of. The next morning, the landlord cc'ed everyone in the apartment on an email from the two of them looking to move out and use the last months' rent from the other two of us as their break fee, putting fake email addresses with our names on them in the sent line as they had already signed for somewhere else. Long story short we all got to break it within six weeks, the sound flatmate moved in with his girlfriend, I got a place organised for myself for the month after as well as the original apartment to myself for a month rent free (long since bug free I should mention!!), the two of us got our deposit etc back and the two of them didn't.


Moral of the story: don't move in with people who expect more from others than they do from themselves, it's guaranteed to turn into a nightmare.

Snakeweasel

My only house share experience was one year of college. Lived with 3 other lads who were all friends. Two of them were fine but one was a complete idiot. Would always leave the kitchen in a mess.

Gave out to me for throwing out some left over sausage and chips from the chipper 2 days after he got them because he was going to eat them.

Stole food.

Allowed someone he never met before to stay in the room of one of the other flat mates, the following night when I am meant to be the only one there, I hear the key turn in the door and wonder which one of the 3 it will be, to be surprised that it was the same American from the night before. Idiot had given him his key to the flat even though he didnt know I was staying up that night, the whole place could have been cleaned out!

But the worst was coming home from college, finding the kitchen/living room full (once again with nobody that actually lived there) of a french rock band that he said could stay a few nights, every bit of cutlery and plate used, and to top it all off a massive bag of mysterious looking white powder on peaking out of one of their bags. I lost it with him that day, neither of the other 2 guys said much as they were from the same town as him, but all agreed that he never mentioned said rock band despite his protests.

I only shared once, for about six weeks. My flatmate was a Spanish guy who seemed very nice. He was pretty nice to be fair, but he was pretty out there as well.

He liked to wear cut-off sweatpants around the flat, and he'd sit opposite me with the ankle of one leg on the knee of the other. That's how I discovered he liked to go commando in the sweatpants shorts. I'd say it to him and corrective measures would be taken, then he'd forget and there they were again. I'd try not to look, but of course I had to. My eyes would inexorably be drawn up the baggy legs of the sweat-shorts, and I fell into the habit of noting where the land lay, as it were. Grapes to the right, banana to the left, hypnotic stuff.

It would annoy me that he would watch sport on my TV all week but get very sulky if I wanted to choose what to put on, after not getting a chance to sit down all week between work and uni. I don't remember him ever going to college, he just hung around the flat, not cleaning it.

He then started eating the food I'd have cooking for when I got home. I'd have something in the slow cooker, a curry or stew, ready to have when I'd get home which was usually late, but Jose started helping himself and when he started he couldn't stop. I came home a few times expecting a nice hot dinner to be ready, to find a few tablespoons left of what should have been enough casserole for four dinners. He'd just flat-out deny it. He ate my cereal, drank my milk, and I'm pretty sure he enjoyed the use of some of my underwear while I wasn't in them and I don't mean by wearing them. I know how I wash and dry things and I never put things away damp.

When he spent his rent money he expected me to support him, and the final straw was when I heard him refer to me as his girlfriend on the phone to someone.

I could have overlooked the genitals, hogging the tv and borrowing some milk, but that was the last straw and then it was adios Jose - which he described as our break-up. Jeez.

heldel00

^^^ This reminds me of when my friend shared with a Spanish lad. She was going out for a while and told him to "watch the fire".
She came back an hour later and there was yer man sat staring into the fireplace. She asked what the fcuk was he doing and he says "you said watch the fire but i dont know what is supposed to happen"

ArnoldJRimmer

Posted this before in a similar thread from a few years ago. Was sharing a house with 4 other random people for years. Lots came and went, and often strangers would move in in their place. The vast majority were sound and easy enough to live with, apart from one absolute freak.

It started out harmless enough, in that he would just kind of stare at people in the living room while making really weird conversation. Then he started sitting at the very back of the living room in silence so that you couldn't watch TV in peace without being freaked out

Then the late night furniture moving started. My bedroom was right above the living room, which had a tiled floor. I'd wake up in the middle of the night to hear him dragging the couch, table, chairs etc across the floor and then back again. Repeatedly. When I pointed this out to him the next day, he said he didn't know what I was talking about. One night another flatmate came down for a glass of water in the middle of the night, turned on the light in the kitchen and he was just standing there, staring into space.

Then I got stuck with him one night when one of his equally strange mates called over. They were having a few beers in these tankards, and would only talk in 'Ye Olde English.' Whenever I got up to leave they started shouting at me and asking what was wrong. they kept shouting out the window as I walked down the street

Eventually, one of my other flatmates had enough and made every threat under the sun, from having the landlord kick him out to knocking his teeth in. He was gone by the end of the week

Jobs OXO

Billy86 wrote: »

Had a great pair of room mates before who were forever eating porridge in the morning and leaving the bowls in the sink - I'm not mad on the stuff so never knew before that porridge basically becomes superglue if you leave it there to dry. They'd leave all their other dishes etc there too which was also annoying but myself and the other flatmate kind of turned the other cheek on it, figuring cleaning up after each other was fine. The problem there was when there was so much as a teaspoon left in the sink by either of us, the passive aggressive texts began to flood in.

So we developed a weekly rota, which the other two never stuck by beyond the first week and would then have kittens over if it was someone else's week and the cleaning wasn't constantly up to snuff. Also the endless complaining about there being no plates, cutlery in the presses when all either of us ever brought into our rooms was a glass of water.

Then we noticed there were some insects popping up in the house, which was just flat out nasty. So one of the two called the landlord who got in an exterminator, advising us to clear everything in the entire apartment into the main room before their visit. The day before this, the other two flatmates were mysteriously nowhere to be found, so the two of us cleaned it and left our stuff on top of the couches with room left for the other two to put theirs on top also. I didn't hear them come home, but got up for a glass of water in the middle of the night and noticed the other flatmates stuff flung on the ground and theirs in his place.

Lo and behold the exterminator came along and found woodlice and other rotten things coming from the other two flatmates rooms, where there were plates of food etc lying about for days on end, if not longer. We then got a text later from the two of them saying they felt we should put everything back in place because "we didn't cause the mess" - and that's when we both blew up on them. Came back later to find the place cleaned, they didn't say a word on it.

The silver lining being when the other flatmate let us know he was moving in with his girlfriend, I suggested us all going separate ways... the other two said no, because they could not afford to even if they wanted to. We had three months left on the lease so I figured I would just see it out to make life easier all around. Two days later, the flatmates girlfriend let us know that -both- of them had applied to the listing for the place she was moving out of. The next morning, the landlord cc'ed everyone in the apartment on an email from the two of them looking to move out and use the last months' rent from the other two of us as their break fee, putting fake email addresses with our names on them in the sent line as they had already signed for somewhere else. Long story short we all got to break it within six weeks, the sound flatmate moved in with his girlfriend, I got a place organised for myself for the month after as well as the original apartment to myself for a month rent free (long since bug free I should mention!!), the two of us got our deposit etc back and the two of them didn't.


Moral of the story: don't move in with people who expect more from others than they do from themselves, it's guaranteed to turn into a nightmare.

This is so pathetic - they leave stacks of dishes in the sink and you say nothing. You leave a teaspoon and they put you under pressure.

You take a glass into your room and they take an entire dinner service and you get your pussy ass scolded !

Wusses always end up like this - turning the other cheek. You encourage this bad behaviour and then wonder why it's happening.

Moral of the story - don't be a weakling and be walked all over.

Ma Walton

People who don't properly separate the recycling.

I had a housemate in college who used to have sex with her boyfriend most mornings in the shower. We weren't so bothered about him staying over almost every night, just the riding in the shower the morning after. Only one shower in the house and she was not a quiet one.

Billy86

Jobs OXO wrote: »

This is so pathetic - they leave stacks of dishes in the sink and you say nothing. You leave a teaspoon and they put you under pressure.

You take a glass into your room and they take an entire dinner service and you get your pussy ass scolded !

Wusses always end up like this - turning the other cheek. You encourage this bad behaviour and then wonder why it's happening.

Moral of the story - don't be a weakling and be walked all over.

Oh no not at all there, there were plenty of arguments over it, very very regularly actually. We turned the cheek on the dishwashing the first time because the other flatmate and I would clean up after each typically. Once they started giving out about teaspoons and the like we told them to f*** right off. Hence the rota, and them getting told again to f*** off when they were having a moan about it and reverted back to us just cleaning our own stuff and leaving them to their own filth (as they spent the whole time in their rooms anyway) since it's not like we could exactly boot them off the lease now is it?

So you can chill out with your "pussy ass" alpha bro bit, cheers.

Jobs OXO

Billy86 wrote: »

Oh no not at all there, there were plenty of arguments over it, very very regularly actually. We turned the cheek on the dishwashing the first time because the other flatmate and I would clean up after each typically. Once they started giving out about teaspoons and the like we told them to f*** right off. Hence the rota, and them getting told again to f*** off when they were having a moan about it and reverted back to us just cleaning our own stuff and leaving them to their own filth (as they spent the whole time in their rooms anyway) since it's not like we could exactly boot them off the lease now is it?

So you can chill out with your "pussy ass" alpha bro bit, cheers.

No problem. Didn't mean to scare ya

Billy86

Jobs OXO wrote: »

No problem. Didn't mean to scare ya

All good, I'll be sure to change the boxers, brah.

Ken.

Mod-Billy and Jobs, knock it off or thread bans will follow. Thank you and have a nice weekend.

Spanish Eyes

Enjoyed reading all the posts.

All I can say is that Hell is definitely other people. Well JPSartre said it, so it must be true!

leggo

Lived with another lad, nice fella and all wouldn't harm a fly, but had obviously been coddled as a kid and not taught any basic life skills by the folks. One time we got so frustrated at him not cleaning up by himself, we wondered how he actually lived like this and decided to find out by going into his room when he wasn't there. Bad move, it was like something out of a serial killer movie: he didn't have any sheet on the bed or pillows, just a mattress and a duvet. On his bedside locker were around 100 tissues (filled with I don't want to know) and on his dresser were a bunch of nail clippings grouped together. Nail clippings. Together.

So think about that: he'd have clipped his nails and then gone around, collected the clippings and then, instead of binning them or anything, grouped them together and kept them on his dresser. Rotten.

One day he had a birthday party in the house. He was a geeky, comic book sort so his friends were too, nothing wrong with that. One other housemate and I decided to hang out to show face for the house. It was kinda quiet and awkward as, god love him, he put sport on the TV (to appease me I think; I was silently like "noooo dude this is your day! Do you things!"), which everyone hated so we all just sat there and supped on cans making polite small chat. After a few hours I made my excuses and went to bed, to a horrified look from my other housemate who knew now he was stuck there for another while to be polite.

Went up and watched some TV then decided to wash the teeth etc. The bathroom door was locked. Went back in for a few minutes then tried again. Knocked on the door. No answer. Knocked louder. Still nothing. Went downstairs and the other housemate told me that the guy had skilled a bottle of whiskey and was in a bad way. He wasn't much of a drinker so I got worried. I went up and knocked loudly, shouting his name. After about a minute he just said "YEAH!" I asked if he was okay, he said yeah, so I told him to knock on the wall (to my bedroom) if he needed me. Brushed my teeth in the downstairs bathroom and went to bed.

The next morning I awoke to possibly the most disgusting sight in my life. Vomit in the bathroom...everywhere. ****, actual faeces like...everywhere. In the middle of it all were his clothes all around the bathroom floor. While I wretched, I felt like I was on Law & Order piecing together a murder scene. He'd obviously been on the crapper, got sick on himself and panicked, then proceeded to try and turn around to get sick into the toilet while taking off his now-sick-stained clothes, but kept ****ting on the floor. He may have slipped somewhere too.

I had to go out to the family anyway so, seeing he'd been through an ordeal, I sent a nice but firm text saying "Please have the bathroom cleaned by the time I get home."

Got home and himself is on the couch on his laptop, as per usual. First step was to go up and check the bathroom. Sure enough it was clean so I was able to come down and unmercifully slag him. He just sat there, embarrassed. Then when I ran out of steam, he said "Emmmm...I was giving the place a clean and the hoover seems to be broken."

It took me a second.

"Alright. I'm going to ask you one question and please answer me honestly. I swear I won't be mad. But did you clean your sick and **** up with our hoover?"

"Ummmm....(long pause) yeah. I did."

Billy86

Rotten to have happen don't get me wrong, but that's the funniest thing I've read on AH in years. How exactly the bathroom got to be in that state clearly ran through your mind for quite some time going by the level of detail! :pac:

Paddy Cow

This issue came up on another thread and I thought it would be interesting to get opinions here. I have lived in a lot of house shares over the years and the rent was always split based on the size of the bedroom, so the person stuffed into the box room paid less than the person with the biggest room. Was I just lucky or is it a new thing that the rent is split by room, regardless of room size?

It came up because someone was living in a house share where the rent was divided by the number of rooms. Person A was quite happy with the arrangement because they had a double room. Someone moved out and Person B who had the box room and had been living there for a year, wanted to either move to the better room or split the rent based on room size.

I thought Person B was being reasonable but I was surprised by the amount of people who basically said "tough sh!t, you're living in the box room and paying the same rent as the double room but you agreed to this and don't have a leg to stand on".

Paddy Cow

leggo wrote: »

Lived with another lad, nice fella and all wouldn't harm a fly, but had obviously been coddled as a kid and not taught any basic life skills by the folks.........

"Alright. I'm going to ask you one question and please answer me honestly. I swear I won't be mad. But did you clean your sick and **** up with our hoover?"

"Ummmm....(long pause) yeah. I did."

There's coddled and there's just plain stupid. At least he tried I suppose :pac:

Ken.

Paddy Cow wrote: »

There's coddled and there's just plain stupid. At least he tried I suppose :pac:

I was fully expecting the story to end with the guy's mammy coming to clean it up.

cml387

leggo wrote: »

On his bedside locker were around 100 tissues (filled with I don't want to know) and on his dresser were a bunch of nail clippings grouped together. Nail clippings. Together.

He kept them to chew on contemplatively.

josip

Paddy Cow wrote: »

This issue came up on another thread and I thought it would be interesting to get opinions here. I have lived in a lot of house shares over the years and the rent was always split based on the size of the bedroom, so the person stuffed into the box room paid less than the person with the biggest room. Was I just lucky or is it a new thing that the rent is split by room, regardless of room size?

It came up because someone was living in a house share where the rent was divided by the number of rooms. Person A was quite happy with the arrangement because they had a double room. Someone moved out and Person B who had the box room and had been living there for a year, wanted to either move to the better room or split the rent based on room size.

I thought Person B was being reasonable but I was surprised by the amount of people who basically said "tough sh!t, you're living in the box room and paying the same rent as the double room but you agreed to this and don't have a leg to stand on".

In one of our houses there were 5 of us when we moved in first.
5 bedrooms of different sizes and specs.
So we divided the 1800 rent by 5 = 360 for each room.
So then we took the best room, the ensuite, and asked if anyone wanted to pay more to have that room.
2 of the lads bid for a bit and in the end 1 lad took it for 410.
So then we calculated 1800-420/4 = 345 for each of the remaining rooms and repeated until all the rooms were auctioned off and everybody was happy with what they got.

JupiterKid

I have to admit that I was the guilty party when it came to banging doors at night in a house share. I'd been used to living on my own 5 days a week for years (it's a long story..) in the family home which was a 5 bed detached so noise wasn't an issue most of the time.

The doors in the house share - many were sprung doors and that didn't help either. But a few words were had and I learned my lesson and I tried to be quiet as a mouse at night times from then on.

I think there will always be issues when you have people of different values, cultures, sense of cleanliness and personalities living together. There's bound to be problems sooner or later. How many people share accommodation out of necessity than by choice?

A few basic ground rules help:
Clean up after yourself
No loud music after bedtime
If a friend/guest/one night stand is coming over, check with the others first. Guests not to stay for more than 2 nights in a row.
Pay rent and bills on time.
Respect the cleaning rota.

Butterface

I have so many weird housemate stories, but one sticks out.

When I was in college in England one of my housemates (let's call him Joe) never really came out of his room or interacted with us. Not strange of course, I also liked to keep to myself in that house. However, myself and the other guy in the house never really saw him in the communal rooms of the house. I assumed he made it in to college and all that, but obviously wasn't keeping tabs on him.

So when we headed home to our respective countries for Christmas, we didn't think anything of not seeing him for weeks on end.
On the 23rd December I got a call from our landlady (who lived a few hours away from the house) asking if I was still in the UK and if I could check on Joe. His parents had called her as they could not contact Joe, and hadn't heard from him in many weeks.

I told her I had returned to Ireland a few days ago. She called me back later that evening to tell me she'd travelled down to the house and when she entered his room, found him in bed and seemingly sick and malnourished. His parents came down and collected him, and when we returned after Christmas the landlady informed us he wouldn't be returning to college or the house.

He was already a skinny lad, and I only ever saw him eating tins of spaghetti during the infrequent times I bumped into him in the house. I always wondered whether he was okay after that!

Sofiztikated

Butterface wrote: »

He was already a skinny lad, and I only ever saw him eating tins of spaghetti during the infrequent times I bumped into him in the house. I always wondered whether he was okay after that!

Eating disorders are not just the preserve of teenage girls and celebrities.

Bambi985

@Butterface that's the saddest thing I've read in a while. The guy could've been very badly depressed or something. Poor fella.

Butterface

Bambi985 wrote: »

@Butterface that's the saddest thing I've read in a while. The guy could've been very badly depressed or something. Poor fella.

I know, I probably shouldn't have started the post with "weird housemate".

The fact that neither myself or the other guy noticed that we hadn't seen him for weeks was obviously a source of guilt when we returned after Christmas to hear he was not coming back.

I could say I'd do it differently, and intervene or check in on him. But in reality, it was just one of those house-sharing situations where none of us crossed any boundary towards friendship, and mostly ignored the fact that we were living with other people. Probably easier to do when you're living in student accommodation.

bodhrandude

I've been in a few house shares myself, one house I was staying in, two different house mates had fires in their rooms due to not putting candles out before crashing out and one of the incidents ended up making the Connacht Tribune news, apart from that I always got on with most house mates.

XsApollo

I've only ever lived with lifelong friends,
We all moved out of home together into one 4 bed house.
As one left for greater things , moving in with a girlfriend or whatever , another friend would move in.
One of the lads moved in and without fail every time he used the oven he would burn the ****e out of whatever was inside.

He'd put the food in and go back upstairs and always forget about it.
Many times I would come home and see smoke coming out the back door or open the back door to be greeted by visibility of about 1 metre.

The house always stank of burnt food.
A few times I even woke at 2am to the smell of something burning, go down and see the oven on fire and as he didn't forget about the food this time but forgot to turn it off.

Surprised he never actually burn the house down.

Ned01

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Nothing at all wrong with it you don't mind your house being razed to the ground. Tea towels + grease + tumble dryers = not in my house you don't!

I've even seen them spontaneously combust on a radiator.

You could try washing them before putting them in the tumble drier....

sligojoek

Here's a couple I posted in another thread.

Back in the late 80s I Worked for a friend of my father's in a pub in England. One of the perks was a big room on the 3rd storey of one of his houses. I had to share this room with my bosses younger brother. We'll call him davey. He deserves a thread all to himself.
Anyway, An old friend of Davey's arrived from San Fran and was thinking of hanging around for a few weeks before he went home to Ireland. Davey asked me was it OK for his mate to kip in a sleeping bag on our floor . No problem.

He turned out to be a complete nutter. He'd come in pissed every night , lie on the bed and say "Boy, am I pissed?" in an american accent every 30 seconds. At weekends he used to play The Pogues "And the Band Played Waltzing matilda" over and over.

There was a sink in the bedroom for shaving, brushing teeth etc. One night after a session he got up and went to the ground floor for a piss. There was someone else in the toillet so he said he'd run back up to the room and piss in the sink. Howver he lost count of the stairs and ran into Big Patsy's room turned and started pissing. Instead of pissing into the sink he pissed into the cot of a 6 month old baby. I can still hear the slaps he got.

Even if that never happened, he was getting the door the following day anyway. Before he came home from the pub he tried touching up the wife of the landlord (of the pub and his bedroom).

Years ago in England three of us shared a house. We all looked after our own grub but if something like soap, toilet paper, washing up liquid etc. ran out, someone got a new one. It always balanced out.

Then the landlord squeezed a new fellow over from Ireland in with us.
All of a sudden we were going through shampoo at an un-precedented rate. The new boy was in the pub every night with a head of hair Bobby Ewing would be proud of. Sherlock Holmes not required.

One evening we knew he had a date.We hid all the shampoo, shower gel and washing up liquid. I rinsed out an empty shampoo bottle and washing up liquid bottle and half filled them with cooking oil. Sure enough at 7.30 Mick arrives in half cut after work and heads for the bathroom. Witin minutes the air turned blue with f*cks and c*nts. He ran down the stairs with a towel around him and his eyes glued shut, grabbed the washing up liquid and ran back upstairs. Cue more f*cks and c*nts. He came into the living room with his hair and towel stuck to him begging up for detergent of some sort. We sold him a bottle of shower gel for a tenner, which at the time, bought us two pints each.

Two weeks later he up and left for Manchester and left us a box with 50 porn mags.

JupiterKid

My own housemate stories are really mundane compared to some crackers on here. On my J1 in San Francisco there were 5 of us in the ground floor of an old wooden "Victorian" house. The rent was cheap, the rooms were big and the kitchen full of roaches. Three college guys and all good mates (me included) and two Irish girls, also in college who we added later on.

Well, the place was falling apart and the landlord didn't give a sh*t. One evening, whilst one of the girls was in the shower, the ceiling caved in from the flat above and a broken sewage pipe from that flat's bog spilled into the unfortunate young lady in the shower at the time. Cue terrifying screams.

My ex and I shared a big 3 bed apt with another couple and a single girl. The single girl was practically never there as she worked long hours. The other couple were basically subletting our room to us and made us feel that they ruled the roost. The girl in the couple was an arty farty type and one evening in the living room whilst looking for the TV remote I found a stack of Polaroid photos of her ....in a state of undress. I put the photos back and said nothing.

In another flat. We shared with a Galway nurse who seemed nice at the start but then turned into an ordeal. Never cleaned up her huge mess after cooking in the kitchen but the worst was not paying the rent and bills on time. Paying your rent I thought was pretty essential to any accommodation you lived in. I tiptoed around confronting her but my ex, one evening after a couple of scotches and seeing a pigsty of a kitchen saw red and confronted her. She reacted like a hellcat. Bye bye to her...

After that we shared with an Italian girl was who was the model flatmate. In fact, we became fast friends and after 15 years we remain friends.

But I was glad to leave accommodation sharing behind.

Vela

Aw man, I'm glad I'm not house sharing anymore. The peopling... so much PEOPLING!

I live in a flat in a pretty old house, it's nothing amazing but I'd rather live alone in an okay flat than in a super posh gaff sharing with 6 other people. The landlord is totally sound and all I hear from my neighbours is the odd door opening/closing. Oh, and the smell of either weed or a fry creeping under my door at the weekends 😂