Porn and partners

LadyMacBeth_

Ok, so bear with me, this will probably descend into chaos. I'm just curious, how do people feel about their partners or potential partners watching porn? Would you consider it to be cheating? Would you dump them? Would it cause friction? For me, I watch porn and I have a partner and I would have no problem with her watching porn, no idea if she does to be honest, won't be checking her search history to find out but hopefully she's smart enough to delete it! She's aware that I watch it and doesn't have an issue with it.

JupiterKid

No problem with porn at all, as long as people featuring in it aren't being hurt or exploited and of course no one under the age of 18.

I watch porn quite a bit, and enjoy it. I had a former long-term partner who had a bit of an issue with my looking at porn, but it didn't affect our privat life really.

Each to their own. The only thing to be careful about porn is that you can become hooked on it and have unrealistic expectations of sex based on the films and the "actors."

In moderation it's fine.

Skatedude

I wouldn't have any problem with it myself.

But I do draw the line at gay midget circus clown porn.

Day Lewin

Almost all blokes watch porn. It's naive to imagine they don't.

Many many women do, too - often of a different kind - but still - if it turns you on, your partner benefits, no?

I don't see a problem if its not addictive. And if you're sure your partner doesn't mind, (or wouldn't mind, if they knew)

LadyMacBeth_

I just thought of this because I saw some sort of ''agony uncle'' article in the indo (I know, my first mistake) apparently written by a girl who was thinking of dumping her boyfriend because she caught him watching porn.

http://www.independent.ie/style/sex-relationships/ask-brian-i-caught-my-boyfriend-watching-porn-on-his-phone-should-i-dump-him-35905216.html

I do think that porn can give some people unrealistic expectations if they don't have any real life experiences, but a bit of real life interaction should resolve that! I have had some experiences with younger men that have had some interesting ideas that I am sure were inspired by porn.

Shenshen

I think that if you would consider your partner watching porn cheating you need to work on your self confidence a bit - essentially, you're jealous of his thoughts. That's a bit creepy.

I would probably have more of a problem with a partner not watching porn. I enjoy watching it together with my husband, it's a great way to share fantasies and a good conversation starter if you want to try something new.

Samaris

I would have no particular issue with it. A ex-partner* once passed on an old phone to me without realising he'd left an ..ahem, private file on it. I deleted it rather than go rooting about in it! But I did tease him about it when I remembered some time later. He was mortified, poor guy. Once he realised I wasn't going to have a fit over it, he relaxed (although he was still sheepish :P).

*unrelated ex-ness!

Grandeeod

No problem with it at all. Watching it together can be fun too.

BetsyEllen

Wouldn't bother me at all!
I'd watch it with them if they wanted.

CPTM

The older I get the less I remember it even exists. Maybe when I was younger but it's not on the radar these days and I don't have time anyways.

But I have seen one of my mates grow a bad addiction towards it. Between that and alcohol he's really difficult to be around now. You can't walk down the street without him quite aggressively talking about what he "wants to do" to girls walking by. Every few seconds. Some of it's fairly dark and I'm not sure he even realises himself how annoying it is. I think that it's a mindset that has come from too much porn over the years. He used to be a good friend, we're not sure what to do, because he's watching more (and drinking more) out of frustration of not finding a girl that's interested in him. It's a bit of a bad descent but I hope he gets a balance back on track.

Dated a girl who told me she broke up with her Ex because he was cheating on her. She mentioned it a few times to me and after about 3 months I asked her about it and she told me she'd seen stuff in his internet history about porn and what types of videos he was watching. So in her books that was cheating!

Hypothetically I wouldn't care less, so long as we're loyal to each other in real life. What happens in her own head is her own business.

whoopsadoodles

Skatedude wrote: »

But I do draw the line at gay midget circus clown porn.

It is a little funny though.

LadyMacBeth_

I actually haven't watched it with the missus, now that I think of it, even though I have watched it with an ex before and I enjoyed it. Cheers for reminding me

everlast75

The problem of porn will die out.

All blokes will finish on her chest, because they think that is how its always done.. she will never get pregnant - problem solved

LadyMacBeth_

everlast75 wrote: »

The problem of porn will die out.

All blokes will finish on her chest, because they think that is how its always done.. she will never get pregnant - problem solved

Yeah the finishing on the face/chest thing seems to be porn inspired I reckon.

indioblack

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

Ok, so bear with me, this will probably descend into chaos. I'm just curious, how do people feel about their partners or potential partners watching porn? Would you consider it to be cheating? Would you dump them? Would it cause friction? For me, I watch porn and I have a partner and I would have no problem with her watching porn, no idea if she does to be honest, won't be checking her search history to find out but hopefully she's smart enough to delete it! She's aware that I watch it and doesn't have an issue with it.

Is it about the unobtainable?
"I bought you foreign magazines, bought you hustlers, bought you queens,
Everything you ever wanted I could get..........
I can't sell you chips, or pass your betting slips - and a woman you can get just anywhere.
All the things you ever wanted, you now take for granted.
Everything you ever needed, now it's there.
..Wasn't it every bit more thrillin',
When the world just wasn't willin',
-Doesn't everything now seem the same."
from Mister What You Can't Have I Can Get.
CCS.
1972.
A bit off topic - but this old number from CCS popped into my head whilst I was reading the thread.

retro:electro

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. As long as it's not interfering with/ replacing your real life relationship intimacy, then I don't see the harm. Everyone likes a little fantasy now and again.

LadyMacBeth_

I haven't looked at those live cam girls that tend to pop up when you watch porn online, usually just click out of the link. I wonder though,is it cheating if It's interactive but with a professional? And then is interactive online with strangers considered cheating? I guess It's up to people to draw their own boundaries.

Burial.

I wouldn't have an issue tbh as long as it's not hurting the real sex life. Never had to ask an aul doll if she watches it and I don't think I'd ever ask anyway. Haven't watched porn in the longest time myself. Something I grew out of when I was 18/19.

LionelNashe

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

Ok, so bear with me, this will probably descend into chaos. I'm just curious, how do people feel about their partners or potential partners watching porn? Would you consider it to be cheating? Would you dump them? Would it cause friction? For me, I watch porn and I have a partner and I would have no problem with her watching porn, no idea if she does to be honest, won't be checking her search history to find out but hopefully she's smart enough to delete it! She's aware that I watch it and doesn't have an issue with it.

I think it's funny that you think she should delete her porn history. I'd be suspicious if somebody did that. I'd be wondering what kind of porn they were watching.

LadyMacBeth_

LionelNashe wrote: »

I think it's funny that you think she should delete her porn history. I'd be suspicious if somebody did that. I'd be wondering what kind of porn they were watching.

Not her porn history, just her search history in general, I usually delete mine.

Day Lewin

"If you can think of it, there's porn of it"

I tried putting this to the test. Ear Porn. (Yes, it exists) (and I don't mean great music)

Knee porn - seems to be mostly socks.

Tractor Porn - SO not my cup of tea!

And my Other Half thought this was all hilarious. No objections there.

noaddedsugar

From what I see from people I know the objections to porn seem to come from 2 things. One is the fact that porn isn't known for being ethical. Two is when it affects their sex life with their partner. They don't want sex because they are **** off to porn instead, or they can't come because they have the whole death grip thing going, or they want sex like they are watching in porn and lets face it porn sex mostly isn't real sex etc

Personally I am not a huge fan, watching people pretend to be turned on is not for me. I don't know if my husband uses porn, if he is it isn't interfering with our sex life so whatever he's a big boy, he can make his own mind up on it.

myshirt

What is interesting is the expansion of categories over the years. Some weird, weird, sh*t.

BBW now in the mainstream also which might have been in fetish terrain in the past.

LadyMacBeth_

I understand people being annoyed if It's having an impact on your sex life, such as a lack of interest in sex or acting exactly as people do in porn because I agree that porn sex is not like real life sex. Used in moderation though I think It's harmless and fun to fantasise. I do prefer amateur because it looks more like people enjoying themselves.

Shenshen

Day Lewin wrote: »

"If you can think of it, there's porn of it"

I tried putting this to the test. Ear Porn. (Yes, it exists) (and I don't mean great music)

Knee porn - seems to be mostly socks.

Tractor Porn - SO not my cup of tea!

And my Other Half thought this was all hilarious. No objections there.

It's rule 34 of the internet.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Wouldn't care TBH
Not an issue for me

ShadowHearth

Misses knows I watch Porn and "Read magazine", its normal. All men do it, and if some male says no: he is full of ****.

And We got a hard drive with Porn, that we put on TV when we feel like it. I like it, she likes it. Win win.

Never understood people who would rip their partners head for watching porn.

Penny Tration

Don't care if my OH does it. As long as it doesn't negatively impact our sex life, it's not something I'd even think about. It would have been nice if he'd wiped his history off of my tablet though, I didn't need to see the specifics of what he was looking at :pac:

LadyMacBeth_

Penny Tration wrote: »

Don't care if my OH does it. As long as it doesn't negatively impact our sex life, it's not something I'd even think about. It would have been nice if he'd wiped his history off of my tablet though, I didn't need to see the specifics of what he was looking at :pac:

Didn't need to know he was into hentai porn eh?

123shooter

What's the big deal?........It's a bodily function and normal, no different than other bodily functions but more enjoyable. Who labels it porn? It's just sex no matter what is happening or how many It's just sex.

Why or how somebody should make rules/laws or object about a bodily function is totally and utterly beyond me.

Shenshen

123shooter wrote: »

What's the big deal?........It's a bodily function and normal, no different than other bodily functions but more enjoyable. Who labels it porn? It's just sex no matter what is happening or how many It's just sex.

Why or how somebody should make rules/laws or object about a bodily function is totally and utterly beyond me.

We seem to do it all the time, we even have special rooms for certain bodily functions. We call them bathrooms or toilets

123shooter

Shenshen wrote: »

We seem to do it all the time, we even have special rooms for certain bodily functions. We call them bathrooms or toilets

As a man I whip it out anywhere if no one's looking......but then :rolleyes:

desbrook

Lots of posters have pointed out that if their partner watching porn was negatively affecting their sex life they'd have a problem. Totally get that. For me it's a stage further - it would negatively affect my sex life with my partner if she objected to porn !!
I wouldn't expect her to like if I was watching it solo on a daily basis. I would however consider it normal to watch stuff together, enjoying fantasy and finding new things that turn on the other. If she found that weird it would probably be a deal breaker for me.

Penny Tration

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

Didn't need to know he was into hentai porn eh?

I wouldn't care about hentai :pac:

123shooter

desbrook wrote: »

Lots of posters have pointed out that if their partner watching porn was negatively affecting their sex life they'd have a problem. Totally get that. For me it's a stage further - it would negatively affect my sex life with my partner if she objected to porn !!
I wouldn't expect her to like if I was watching it solo on a daily basis. I would however consider it normal to watch stuff together, enjoying fantasy and finding new things that turn on the other. If she found that weird it would probably be a deal breaker for me.

But what do people object too I can't understand. Is it some kind of misguided jealousy thing or what?

Grandeeod

Isn't the internet great for so many? The internet gave porn to the pornless. I'm going back to food. It's much better.:D

desbrook

123shooter wrote: »

But what do people object too I can't understand. Is it some kind of misguided jealousy thing or what?

Possibly - but I would see insecurity as being a bigger issue.

hatrickpatrick

Every woman I've ever been with has, to my knowledge. I don't think it's nearly as rare among women as people seem to assume, they're just not necessarily as comfortable openly discussing it as lads are. Regardless, I have no problem with it, and I regard having a problem with it as basically a form of 'thought crime' to be honest.

123shooter

Grandeeod wrote: »

Isn't the internet great for so many? The internet gave porn to the pornless. I'm going back to food. It's much better.:D

As a 16 year old a long time ago. I worked in a large factory and after tea break in the morning when you were supposed to start work again. There was a steady stream of men going to the toilets for half an hour with a porn mag stuffed down their overalls.

They used to swap them among themselves throughout the factory of around 1000 men.

The things in those mags for a 16 year old certainly made me grow up fast:D

Mary Millington......shame she died so young.

So basically all men look at some kind of porn.

I have never met a single guy in my life who has said he'd have a problem with his GF watching porn. I wouldn't have the remotest problem with it either, quite the opposite.

I have heard women saying this upsets them. I'm surprised that this bothers anyone. Porn is a part of life; I wouldn't break-up with someone over their dislike of my seeing porn, but I'd judge them a little, if they really needed to be involved every single time I had any sexual experience, even alone?

Give me a break... literally give me a break. It's my body, I do what I want with it in private. Just like everyone else.

123shooter

desbrook wrote: »

Possibly - but I would see insecurity as being a bigger issue.

How can you be insecure about your partner looking at an anonymous image? Unless you know the participants, but that makes it more interesting.

Vojera

My best friend's sister rang him one day, ranting down the phone about how her husband was disgusting and a pervert because she caught him watching porn that was "unnatural". She was so visceral in her reaction that he was thinking to himself "Jesus, it must have been kids or animals he was looking at".
But after teasing it out with her, it turned out it was just a FFM threesome, which I think most people would consider pretty "normal", as porn goes.

She's a young enough woman (late twenties) so I was surprised at how strong her reaction was. But she's also very narcissistic, so perhaps the idea of him looking at someone else jarred with her world view.

Personally, I have no problem with it. My wife doesn't watch it but we've sometimes watched it together and enjoyed it. If she did watch it I'd hope she'd tell me about it, though :pac:

GarIT

JupiterKid wrote: »

No problem with porn at all, as long as people featuring in it aren't being hurt

I only watch porn if people are being hurt. Consensually of course. Does that make me a bad person

worded

How do you know you are watching too much porn ?

Look she has a new tatoo


Why do wimmins look at porn?

To see if they get married at the end

GarIT

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

or acting exactly as people do in porn because I agree that porn sex is not like real life sex

I see a lot of people say this and I have never understood it. My sex is exactly like porn, if it wasn't I'd get bored of it very fast. I see something I try it, past partners have enjoyed it.

Couldn't care less. Sure hasn't everyone watched porn at some point.

NinetyTwoTeam

GarIT wrote: »

I see a lot of people say this and I have never understood it. My sex is exactly like porn, if it wasn't I'd get bored of it very fast. I see something I try it, past partners have enjoyed it.

So you purposely position your bodies to ensure the penetration is captured by the camera angle?

Or are you a taxi driver who frequently picks up women who have forgotten their purse and need to arrange an alternative method of payment?

worded

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

So you purposely position your bodies to ensure the penetration is captured by the camera angle?

Or are you a taxi driver who frequently picks up women who have forgotten their purse and need to arrange an alternative method of payment?

Taxi driver .... eh you wouldn't have something smaller than that luv ?

Synthol

GarIT wrote: »

I see a lot of people say this and I have never understood it. My sex is exactly like porn, if it wasn't I'd get bored of it very fast. I see something I try it, past partners have enjoyed it.

Couldn't be more right. I watch porn all the time and use the positions from watching it, it's the best way to keep sex exciting. Who wants to **** in the same boring missionary position all the time? Porn is great.

Synthol

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

So you purposely position your bodies to ensure the penetration is captured by the camera angle?

Or are you a taxi driver who frequently picks up women who have forgotten their purse and need to arrange an alternative method of payment?

I think he meant normal porn, not strange unrealistic scenarios, I watch a lot of homemade porn. And in the professional porn, it's usually the cameraman that walks around filming the act from different angles and not the actors.

everlast75

Penny Tration wrote: »

Don't care if my OH does it. As long as it doesn't negatively impact our sex life, it's not something I'd even think about. It would have been nice if he'd wiped his history off of my tablet though

So long as he wiped everything else off your tablet