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Porn and partners

  • 07-07-2017 07:19PM
    #1
    LadyMacBeth_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,070 ✭✭✭


    Ok, so bear with me, this will probably descend into chaos. I'm just curious, how do people feel about their partners or potential partners watching porn? Would you consider it to be cheating? Would you dump them? Would it cause friction? For me, I watch porn and I have a partner and I would have no problem with her watching porn, no idea if she does to be honest, won't be checking her search history to find out but hopefully she's smart enough to delete it! She's aware that I watch it and doesn't have an issue with it.


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Comments

  • #2
    JupiterKid
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 14,954 ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    No problem with porn at all, as long as people featuring in it aren't being hurt or exploited and of course no one under the age of 18.

    I watch porn quite a bit, and enjoy it. I had a former long-term partner who had a bit of an issue with my looking at porn, but it didn't affect our privat life really.

    Each to their own. The only thing to be careful about porn is that you can become hooked on it and have unrealistic expectations of sex based on the films and the "actors."

    In moderation it's fine.


  • #3
    Skatedude
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,667 ✭✭✭Skatedude


    I wouldn't have any problem with it myself.

    But I do draw the line at gay midget circus clown porn.


  • #4
    Day Lewin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,037 ✭✭✭Day Lewin


    Almost all blokes watch porn. It's naive to imagine they don't.

    Many many women do, too - often of a different kind - but still - if it turns you on, your partner benefits, no?

    I don't see a problem if its not addictive. And if you're sure your partner doesn't mind, (or wouldn't mind, if they knew)


  • #5
    LadyMacBeth_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,070 ✭✭✭LadyMacBeth_


    I just thought of this because I saw some sort of ''agony uncle'' article in the indo (I know, my first mistake) apparently written by a girl who was thinking of dumping her boyfriend because she caught him watching porn.

    http://www.independent.ie/style/sex-relationships/ask-brian-i-caught-my-boyfriend-watching-porn-on-his-phone-should-i-dump-him-35905216.html

    I do think that porn can give some people unrealistic expectations if they don't have any real life experiences, but a bit of real life interaction should resolve that! I have had some experiences with younger men that have had some interesting ideas that I am sure were inspired by porn.


  • #6
    Shenshen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,453 ✭✭✭Shenshen


    I think that if you would consider your partner watching porn cheating you need to work on your self confidence a bit - essentially, you're jealous of his thoughts. That's a bit creepy.

    I would probably have more of a problem with a partner not watching porn. I enjoy watching it together with my husband, it's a great way to share fantasies and a good conversation starter if you want to try something new.


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  • #7
    Samaris
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,544 ✭✭✭Samaris


    I would have no particular issue with it. A ex-partner* once passed on an old phone to me without realising he'd left an ..ahem, private file on it. I deleted it rather than go rooting about in it! But I did tease him about it when I remembered some time later. He was mortified, poor guy. Once he realised I wasn't going to have a fit over it, he relaxed (although he was still sheepish :P).

    *unrelated ex-ness!


  • #8
    Grandeeod
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,318 ✭✭✭✭Grandeeod


    No problem with it at all. Watching it together can be fun too.


  • #9
    BetsyEllen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,360 ✭✭✭BetsyEllen


    Wouldn't bother me at all!
    I'd watch it with them if they wanted.


  • #10
    CPTM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,518 ✭✭✭CPTM


    The older I get the less I remember it even exists. Maybe when I was younger but it's not on the radar these days and I don't have time anyways.

    But I have seen one of my mates grow a bad addiction towards it. Between that and alcohol he's really difficult to be around now. You can't walk down the street without him quite aggressively talking about what he "wants to do" to girls walking by. Every few seconds. Some of it's fairly dark and I'm not sure he even realises himself how annoying it is. I think that it's a mindset that has come from too much porn over the years. He used to be a good friend, we're not sure what to do, because he's watching more (and drinking more) out of frustration of not finding a girl that's interested in him. It's a bit of a bad descent but I hope he gets a balance back on track.

    Dated a girl who told me she broke up with her Ex because he was cheating on her. She mentioned it a few times to me and after about 3 months I asked her about it and she told me she'd seen stuff in his internet history about porn and what types of videos he was watching. So in her books that was cheating!

    Hypothetically I wouldn't care less, so long as we're loyal to each other in real life. What happens in her own head is her own business.


  • #11
    whoopsadoodles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,058 ✭✭✭whoopsadoodles


    Skatedude wrote: »
    But I do draw the line at gay midget circus clown porn.

    It is a little funny though.


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  • #12
    LadyMacBeth_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,070 ✭✭✭LadyMacBeth_


    I actually haven't watched it with the missus, now that I think of it, even though I have watched it with an ex before and I enjoyed it. Cheers for reminding me :D


  • #13
    everlast75
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,023 ✭✭✭✭everlast75


    The problem of porn will die out.

    All blokes will finish on her chest, because they think that is how its always done.. she will never get pregnant - problem solved

    Elect a clown... Expect a circus



  • #14
    LadyMacBeth_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,070 ✭✭✭LadyMacBeth_


    everlast75 wrote: »
    The problem of porn will die out.

    All blokes will finish on her chest, because they think that is how its always done.. she will never get pregnant - problem solved

    Yeah the finishing on the face/chest thing seems to be porn inspired I reckon.


  • #15
    indioblack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,961 ✭✭✭indioblack


    LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »
    Ok, so bear with me, this will probably descend into chaos. I'm just curious, how do people feel about their partners or potential partners watching porn? Would you consider it to be cheating? Would you dump them? Would it cause friction? For me, I watch porn and I have a partner and I would have no problem with her watching porn, no idea if she does to be honest, won't be checking her search history to find out but hopefully she's smart enough to delete it! She's aware that I watch it and doesn't have an issue with it.
    Is it about the unobtainable?
    "I bought you foreign magazines, bought you hustlers, bought you queens,
    Everything you ever wanted I could get..........
    I can't sell you chips, or pass your betting slips - and a woman you can get just anywhere.
    All the things you ever wanted, you now take for granted.
    Everything you ever needed, now it's there.
    ..Wasn't it every bit more thrillin',
    When the world just wasn't willin',
    -Doesn't everything now seem the same."
    from Mister What You Can't Have I Can Get.
    CCS.
    1972.
    A bit off topic - but this old number from CCS popped into my head whilst I was reading the thread.


  • #16
    retro:electro
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    Doesn't bother me in the slightest. As long as it's not interfering with/ replacing your real life relationship intimacy, then I don't see the harm. Everyone likes a little fantasy now and again.


  • #17
    LadyMacBeth_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,070 ✭✭✭LadyMacBeth_


    I haven't looked at those live cam girls that tend to pop up when you watch porn online, usually just click out of the link. I wonder though,is it cheating if It's interactive but with a professional? And then is interactive online with strangers considered cheating? I guess It's up to people to draw their own boundaries.


  • #18
    Burial.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,131 ✭✭✭Burial.


    I wouldn't have an issue tbh as long as it's not hurting the real sex life. Never had to ask an aul doll if she watches it and I don't think I'd ever ask anyway. Haven't watched porn in the longest time myself. Something I grew out of when I was 18/19.


  • #19
    LionelNashe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,958 ✭✭✭LionelNashe


    LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »
    Ok, so bear with me, this will probably descend into chaos. I'm just curious, how do people feel about their partners or potential partners watching porn? Would you consider it to be cheating? Would you dump them? Would it cause friction? For me, I watch porn and I have a partner and I would have no problem with her watching porn, no idea if she does to be honest, won't be checking her search history to find out but hopefully she's smart enough to delete it! She's aware that I watch it and doesn't have an issue with it.

    I think it's funny that you think she should delete her porn history. I'd be suspicious if somebody did that. I'd be wondering what kind of porn they were watching.


  • #20
    LadyMacBeth_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,070 ✭✭✭LadyMacBeth_


    LionelNashe wrote: »
    I think it's funny that you think she should delete her porn history. I'd be suspicious if somebody did that. I'd be wondering what kind of porn they were watching.

    Not her porn history, just her search history in general, I usually delete mine.


  • #21
    Day Lewin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,037 ✭✭✭Day Lewin


    "If you can think of it, there's porn of it"

    I tried putting this to the test. Ear Porn. (Yes, it exists) (and I don't mean great music)

    Knee porn - seems to be mostly socks.

    Tractor Porn - SO not my cup of tea!

    And my Other Half thought this was all hilarious. No objections there.


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  • #22
    noaddedsugar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 316 ✭✭noaddedsugar


    From what I see from people I know the objections to porn seem to come from 2 things. One is the fact that porn isn't known for being ethical. Two is when it affects their sex life with their partner. They don't want sex because they are **** off to porn instead, or they can't come because they have the whole death grip thing going, or they want sex like they are watching in porn and lets face it porn sex mostly isn't real sex etc

    Personally I am not a huge fan, watching people pretend to be turned on is not for me. I don't know if my husband uses porn, if he is it isn't interfering with our sex life so whatever he's a big boy, he can make his own mind up on it.


  • #23
    myshirt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,245 ✭✭✭myshirt


    What is interesting is the expansion of categories over the years. Some weird, weird, sh*t.

    BBW now in the mainstream also which might have been in fetish terrain in the past.


  • #24
    LadyMacBeth_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,070 ✭✭✭LadyMacBeth_


    I understand people being annoyed if It's having an impact on your sex life, such as a lack of interest in sex or acting exactly as people do in porn because I agree that porn sex is not like real life sex. Used in moderation though I think It's harmless and fun to fantasise. I do prefer amateur because it looks more like people enjoying themselves.


  • #25
    Shenshen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,453 ✭✭✭Shenshen


    Day Lewin wrote: »
    "If you can think of it, there's porn of it"

    I tried putting this to the test. Ear Porn. (Yes, it exists) (and I don't mean great music)

    Knee porn - seems to be mostly socks.

    Tractor Porn - SO not my cup of tea!

    And my Other Half thought this was all hilarious. No objections there.

    It's rule 34 of the internet.


  • #26
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Wouldn't care TBH
    Not an issue for me


  • #27
    ShadowHearth
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,911 ✭✭✭✭ShadowHearth


    Misses knows I watch Porn and "Read magazine", its normal. All men do it, and if some male says no: he is full of ****.

    And We got a hard drive with Porn, that we put on TV when we feel like it. I like it, she likes it. Win win.

    Never understood people who would rip their partners head for watching porn.


  • #28
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    Don't care if my OH does it. As long as it doesn't negatively impact our sex life, it's not something I'd even think about. It would have been nice if he'd wiped his history off of my tablet though, I didn't need to see the specifics of what he was looking at :pac:


  • #29
    LadyMacBeth_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,070 ✭✭✭LadyMacBeth_


    Penny Tration wrote: »
    Don't care if my OH does it. As long as it doesn't negatively impact our sex life, it's not something I'd even think about. It would have been nice if he'd wiped his history off of my tablet though, I didn't need to see the specifics of what he was looking at :pac:

    Didn't need to know he was into hentai porn eh? :p


  • #30
    123shooter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 964 ✭✭✭123shooter


    What's the big deal?........It's a bodily function and normal, no different than other bodily functions but more enjoyable. Who labels it porn? It's just sex no matter what is happening or how many It's just sex.

    Why or how somebody should make rules/laws or object about a bodily function is totally and utterly beyond me.


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  • #31
    Shenshen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,453 ✭✭✭Shenshen


    123shooter wrote: »
    What's the big deal?........It's a bodily function and normal, no different than other bodily functions but more enjoyable. Who labels it porn? It's just sex no matter what is happening or how many It's just sex.

    Why or how somebody should make rules/laws or object about a bodily function is totally and utterly beyond me.

    We seem to do it all the time, we even have special rooms for certain bodily functions. We call them bathrooms or toilets :D


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