why do you want/are you in a relationship?

blacksheep1982

What about your relationship makes you happy to have it and if you're looking, what is it about one that makes you want it?

Aside from sex and someone to attend events with, what do/would you love about it?

cbyrd

Having someone to hug, make tea, argue with, discuss the weather,make the dinner when I'm tired, do the school run and cuddles with on the couch ... To name but a few...

Senna

Someone to tell me when I have a bit of salad in my teeth

One_Of_Shanks

Why are you asking? Because if its a way of looking for answers that you can then apply to your own situation then it's a waste of time.
Everyone is different.

Or maybe you're just a nosey git; that's fine too but if you're going to expect people to spill the beans then you should do likewise.

Having someone both beautiful and intelligent behind you in almost everything you do in life, saying "you're right, you can do no wrong" is very self affirming.

Unless you're actually wrong, in which case having someone both beautiful and intelligent to gently say "you got that wrong" is very helpful.

They promote and support our best tendencies and when we get it right, and gently haul us back when we get it wrong. What could be better?

nhunter100

Simple answer, someone to let me be me and not be alone.

whoopsadoodles

Hugs.

The best hugs.

lazybones32

Don't need to be in a relationship: had an epiphany one night while in bed chatting with the last woman I loved.


Am quite happy to be a bachelor and wouldn't like to change it.....That said, the sunny weather today, and the way women dress when it's sunny, makes me briefly question my choice.

MadDog76

My wife had a life-threatening health scare not too long ago and she jokingly said to me "You couldn't survive without me" to which I replied "I definitely could ......... I just don't want to ....... ".

Doesn't really answer your question but that's because I don't really know the answer to your question.

Ciderswigger

I'm single. Have been for a long time. I would like to be in a relationship but I've kinda resigned myself to not falling in love. I'm not exactly the most beautiful girl you've ever seen and I think my low self confidence is evident even when I'm doing the whole fake it till you make it thing.

I'm good girlfriend material though! And I like having someone to share my thoughts and feelings with, having someone who I know will love me even when I'm unlovable, someone to laugh and make memories with. I see so many of my married friends/long term relationship friends and I want what they want.






It'd be quite nice to have a plus one for weddings too!

RayM

It would be nice to have that special someone, with whom I could go halves on rent and bills.

whoopsadoodles

MadDog76 wrote: »

My wife had a life-threatening health scare not too long ago and she jokingly said to me "You couldn't survive without me" to which I replied "I definitely could ......... I just don't want to ....... ".

Doesn't really answer your question but that's because I don't really know the answer to your question.

See this is why i like AH. Even the people you'd sometimes like to smack in real life are right at least sometimes.

MadDog76

RayM wrote: »

It would be nice to have that special someone, with whom I could go halves on rent and bills.

I'm married and I have no idea what "going halves" even means ...... ???

Brother Luke

I have never been in a serious long term relationship and i don't care for one either. I am quite content and will probably die a bachelor.

MadDog76

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

See this is why i like AH. Even the people you'd sometimes like to smack in real life are right at least sometimes.

Thanks ......... I think?

whoopsadoodles

MadDog76 wrote: »

Thanks ......... I think?

Nooooo. I mean you can disagree with people on some levels and think they're sooooo wrong. But then you realise you always have something in common with everyone

It was meant as a good thing but I've had a few drinks so it may not sound the way I meant it

Basically I love the way you love your missus!

MadDog76

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

Nooooo. I mean you can disagree with people on some levels and think they're sooooo wrong. But then you realise you always have something in common with everyone

It was meant as a good thing but I've had a few drinks so it may not sound the way I meant it

Basically I love the way you love your missus!

Well ........ thanks again so!















By the way, I'm never wrong ......... despite what you, and the wife, think!

whoopsadoodles

MadDog76 wrote: »

Well ........ thanks again so!


By the way, I'm never wrong ......... despite what you, and the wife, think!

Yes dear

Galway1989

I don't know if I'll ever be in a relationship. I love the freedom being single gives me.
But....
I've always found myself being alone even though I am quite friendly to others. Not quite sure where I'm going wrong but I find myself not going out this week on my birthday weekend because my friends had prior arrangements. Most of my friends are in relationships now and I see less of them because they spend their free time with the other half. Its lonesome being single for ages....but...I stopped blaming myself and pointing out my flaws a long time ago and became my own best friend. I had to learn to treat myself with the love and kindness everyone deserves!

So... I went for a leisurely walks and baked a few cupcakes this evening instead of going out! Maybe I'll have birthdays in the future where himself will insist on bringing me out for dinner but we'll have to find each other first!!

MistyCheese

My kids' dad won't freakin' leave!!!

Knew I shouldn't've married him.

Jesus Wept

Galway1989 wrote: »

I don't know if I'll ever be in a relationship. I love the freedom being single gives me.
But....
I've always found myself being alone even though I am quite friendly to others. Not quite sure where I'm going wrong but I find myself not going out this week on my birthday weekend because my friends had prior arrangements. Most of my friends are in relationships now and I see less of them because they spend their free time with the other half. Its lonesome being single for ages....but...I stopped blaming myself and pointing out my flaws a long time ago and became my own best friend. I had to learn to treat myself with the love and kindness everyone deserves!

So... I went for a leisurely walks and baked a few cupcakes this evening instead of going out! Maybe I'll have birthdays in the future where himself will insist on bringing me out for dinner but we'll have to find each other first!!

There are avenues to meet additional friends if you would like to, perhaps sharing similar interests as yourself, or new ones.

Lady is a tramp

Myself and my best friend (both single) sometimes joke that we're like a married couple. She's someone who's only been in my life for around a year.
We just can't get enough of each other's company. We're always together for the big things and the little things, like we're happy to act as each other's dates for dinner parties or big occasions etc, but even happier to just snuggle on the couch watching TV, or be company for each other on long drives, or browse around the shops together. We have sleepovers at least one night a week, and are in touch every day. And we buy little cheap-but-meaningful presents for each other all the time. She's actually the closest thing I've ever had to a soul mate. We know each other inside out, even the bad things - especially the bad things - and we love each other inside out, too, unconditionally. I've never trusted anyone as much as I trust her, in every way.

And it's made me realise, that's basically what I want in a relationship (if I'm ever in one again!) Pretty much all of the above, but with sex as well. I've had plenty of relationships in the past, but never one where I'd rather be with the person than not with them - how sad is that?! It was always an effort to be around them, trying to put up a good facade and hoping that they'd like me, that I'd be "enough" for them. I felt so weak and unattractive, and the men I was with were controlling narcissists who took advantage of my feelings of inferiority, and undermined me even further. (It has taken me a LOT of time and therapy to come to realise and accept this!)

I'm not ready for a relationship any time soon, but when the time comes, I won't accept anything less than someone who can accept and respect and love me. It doesn't sound like much, but it's more than I've ever had before in any relationship. And someone who I can regularly be in tears of laughter with, but who I can comfortably cry with, too. And I love what was said above - that you of course could live without the person, but that you don't want to. Isn't that exactly the way it should be - pure love, but without co-dependence!

However, I've had my share of bad relationships, and just really won't go there again unless I'm pretty certain it's worth it. They can be so very damaging. I'm getting to a point where I'm actually totally happy and comfortable being single forever - and single doesn't mean alone. I have lots of good people in my life. I like the idea of a relationship, but I don't think it's something I'll ever actively seek again - if I literally never have a boyfriend again ever, I can actually totally live with that.

Jim Bob Scratcher

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

Myself and my best friend (both single) sometimes joke that we're like a married couple. She's someone who's only been in my life for around a year.
We just can't get enough of each other's company. We're always together for the big things and the little things, like we're happy to act as each other's dates for dinner parties or big occasions etc, but even happier to just snuggle on the couch watching TV, or be company for each other on long drives, or browse around the shops together. We have sleepovers at least one night a week, and are in touch every day. And we buy little cheap-but-meaningful presents for each other all the time. She's actually the closest thing I've ever had to a soul mate. We know each other inside out, even the bad things - especially the bad things - and we love each other inside out, too, unconditionally. I've never trusted anyone as much as I trust her, in every way.

And it's made me realise, that's basically what I want in a relationship (if I'm ever in one again!) Pretty much all of the above, but with sex as well. I've had plenty of relationships in the past, but never one where I'd rather be with the person than not with them - how sad is that?! It was always an effort to be around them, trying to put up a good facade and hoping that they'd like me, that I'd be "enough" for them. I felt so weak and unattractive, and the men I was with were controlling narcissists who took advantage of my feelings of inferiority, and undermined me even further. (It has taken me a LOT of time and therapy to come to realise and accept this!)

I'm not ready for a relationship any time soon, but when the time comes, I won't accept anything less than someone who can accept and respect and love me. It doesn't sound like much, but it's more than I've ever had before in any relationship. And someone who I can regularly be in tears of laughter with, but who I can comfortably cry with, too. And I love what was said above - that you of course could live without the person, but that you don't want to. Isn't that exactly the way it should be - pure love, but without co-dependence!

However, I've had my share of bad relationships, and just really won't go there again unless I'm pretty certain it's worth it. They can be so very damaging. I'm getting to a point where I'm actually totally happy and comfortable being single forever - and single doesn't mean alone. I have lots of good people in my life. I like the idea of a relationship, but I don't think it's something I'll ever actively seek again - if I literally never have a boyfriend again ever, I can actually totally live with that.

Sounds like you and your friend are meant to be together. Marry them already

Lady is a tramp

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Sounds like you and your friend are meant to be together. Marry them already

If only she had a willy! :pac:

Jim Bob Scratcher

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

If only she had a willy! :pac:

You can borrow mine if you want :pac:

Colser

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

You can borrow mine if you want :pac:

She probably shouldn't going by your name..ðŸ˜

Jim Bob Scratcher

Colser wrote: »

She probably shouldn't going by your name..ðŸ˜

Actually she should, as scratcher means bed :P and not itchy bollocks :pac:

Burial.

Wouldn't be one for relationships tbh, I quite like the freedom and thrill of being single. I quite like going from person to person as I feel you get to experience the best of them and you remember that and not the inevitable arguing down the line which sours your impression of someone. I absolutely hate drama and have a zero tolerance to it which makes me awful boyfriend material I'd imagine. I'm well able to argue but having to make up and be lovey dovey again is not my style. I guess some people like that stability and security of a partner which makes sense but from a bird's eye view I see far too many couples restricted and confined to the same old thing. The thought of not being able to do what I want because the aul doll has something on or because she said so is horrifying yet so many lads I know are almost conditioned to not even second guess it.

Mister Vain

Burial. wrote: »

Wouldn't be one for relationships tbh, I quite like the freedom and thrill of being single. I quite like going from person to person as I feel you get to experience the best of them and you remember that and not the inevitable arguing down the line which sours your impression of someone. I absolutely hate drama and have a zero tolerance to it which makes me awful boyfriend material I'd imagine. I'm well able to argue but having to make up and be lovey dovey again is not my style. I guess some people like that stability and security of a partner which makes sense but from a bird's eye view I see far too many couples restricted and confined to the same old thing. The thought of not being able to do what I want because the aul doll has something on or because she said so is horrifying yet so many lads I know are almost conditioned to not even second guess it.

I'd be the same. I don't think I would have the patience for a proper relationship. She would have to be extremely laid back for it to even have a chance of working. I want the intimacy of a relationship without any of the drama. I reckon I'm just not cut out for everything that is involved in a relationship. It's just a bit suffocating for me.

ToddyDoody

I just dont think I'm a relationship kindof guy.

I take solice in the many single "The Simpsons" characters;

Professor Frink
Comic Book Guy
Principal Skinner
Agnes Skinner
Patty and Selma
Abe Simpson
Kurk Vanhouton

And so forth.

MadamRazz

I like having someone that I can just go up to and plop my hand onto their face for a second before walking off and they wont even bat an eyelid at my weirdness. If anything he loves me more for it. Also having someone to put my cold feet on at night is always nice. And the way he understands and plays along with the fact that sometimes my butt has a personality of its own and likes to be touched.