Punishment as a child

Riddle101

erica74 wrote: »

This made me laugh. What age were you? It sounds like your first taste of seeing what you could get away with :pac:

I was in 3rd class at the time so I was about 9 when it happened. Sounds about right though, I probably would have tried doing it the whole week if I hadn't confessed.

AnneFrank

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

I was never hit as a child, not once. And having an 18 month old now, I just can't understand how anybody could ever do it. I don't think it's always out of some kind of malice or sadism, but there is definitely a sense that it is a quick fix for reasserting control at times when you've lost it. I just couldn't hit my daughter and then be OK with looking her in the eyes knowing that she sees me as someone who is capable of hurting her, someone to fear rather than someone she can always trust to show her love. If I even did it once it would always be part of my relationship with her and, like I say, it would always be there when I look in her eyes. I couldn't deal with that, so it won't be happening.

I totally agree, I would never raise my voice, let alone my hand to my daughters.In my opinion, if you hit your kids you have lost control and have not spent the time educating them or teaching them respect. But each to their own, like you say, I can look my kids in the eye too

Help!!!!

Chased with the wooden spoon, until it broke.....then she got a plastic one instead
Wet dishcloth
slaps....all from the mother
Dad never hit me, it was worse when I knew he was dissapointed in me
Might seem harsh nowadays but it kept me out of jail, kept me respectful & I understand things were different back then for parents

Tigger

Help!!!! wrote: »

Chased with the wooden spoon, until it broke.....then she got a plastic one instead
Wet dishcloth
slaps....all from the mother
Dad never hit me, it was worse when I knew he was dissapointed in me
Might seem harsh nowadays but it kept me out of jail, kept me respectful & I understand things were different back then for parents

How were things s Different ?

koumi

Tigger wrote: »

How were things s Different ?

I need someone to answer this question quickly so that when my daughter uses it I will have an appropriate response

When I was a kid I used I think I'd have liked to get the wooden spoon as my punishment so I'd get to feel like a kid in a cartoon, or story or like someone from a rich amily .. instead I just got a good ol embarrassing-in-front-of-your-friends Irish clout across the head!

aligator_am

Used to get the leather belt that was used to sharpen a razor across the bare legs, funny thing was that it didn't hurt as much as you'd think, it was the fear of getting walloped with it that hurt even more.

fussyonion

We got really hard smacks from our Dad. Thinking back now there was no need. We were never that bold and our bums were left red raw afterwards.
If I ever have kids and my Dad ever slapped them I would never speak to him again.

Vicxas

Even the sight of a wooden spoon gives me the shivers these days, 20 years later.

As a parent to a 2 year old i can understand why some people use physical discipline on their children, but i could never bring myself to do it.

Ash.J.Williams

Used to get threatened with the priest....in hindsight that was a bit extreme!!

Widdershins

I'd just be told off and told why I shouldn't do something. That was enough. I did get a couple of slaps, once for using a fairly rough swear word and once for damaging public property (that was a weird one, I felt a strange compulsion to do it and my mind was kind of blank and empty and only focused on the thing I was doing, while doing it. Out of character for me. I wonder if that's how destructive people feel all the time). My mother administered the slaps on both occasions.

Lorelli!

I wasn't really punished as a child. We'd have arguments or the odd time I was sent to my room but then one of them would come up after a few minutes and we'd resolve it.

I remember one time my dad was putting up wallpaper and he's not the best when it comes to DIY so he was in a bad mood. My brother was holding down the wallpaper while my dad was putting the paste on it. My brother started complaining that he was getting paste on his hands so my dad soaked the paint brush in wallpaper paste and gave my brother a little slap with it on both sides of his face! :pac:

My brother was so shocked and said "what ya do that for?" wiping it off. My dad was like "paste on your hand, now you've paste in your face, ya little..."

pickarooney

AnneFrank wrote: »

I totally agree, I would never raise my voice, let alone my hand to my daughters.In my opinion, if you hit your kids you have lost control and have not spent the time educating them or teaching them respect. But each to their own, like you say, I can look my kids in the eye too

I'd be interested to meet the child to whom a parent has never raised his/her voice. Are they super-zen or completely uncontrollable?

Akrasia

tobsey wrote: »

It's not got to do with me being overwhelmed. You asked was I not supervising my children. I was explaining that it's not that simple when you have more kids than hands.

This discussion has turned into an argument about a completely hypothetical situation about a kid running out on a road. That's not what I started talking about. When a child can't be reasoned with but they need to understand right from wrong then a slap that they feel gives them the message. You tried to twist that into imaginary scenarios where I was a raving lunatic that was walloping my child. I'm glad you're done with this because I am too and I hope you don't lose your faculties and need to rely on a good hearted carer, and also that you have the skills you preach about if you have to teach your own small kids.

You're looking at it backwards.

Young children don't need to be punished for doing something wrong, they need to be reminded to be good. Kids are impulsive and don't always make the best decisions. When your 2 year old is drawing on the walls with a crayon, she's not doing that because she's trying to be bold, she isn't thinking about the consequences

Positive reinforcement works way better than negative re-inforcement.


"Kind Words, Kind Hands, Kind Feet"
This a little phrase my pre-school teacher taught to our little girl and it's so effective.

Your little kid will embrace the phrase and make it her own, and if she ever misbehaves, just repeat it back to her and she'll remember.

You're reminding her to be kind rather than telling her not to be bold. No child wants to think that he or she is bold, and they'll always think punishment is unfair.
When we do have to punish one of them, it is a few minutes of sitting on the step and they can get up when they've admitted their mistake and we have had a chance to explain to them why what they did was wrong.

We have 3 young kids (oldest is 8 today) and wouldn't dream of hitting any of them, and they've grown up so far to be sweet gentle and polite children (most of the time)

Help!!!!

Tigger wrote: »

How were things s Different ?

Well parents back then didnt have people to tell them how to be parents. They did what their parents did.

Widdershins

pickarooney wrote: »

I'd be interested to meet the child to whom a parent has never raised his/her voice. Are they super-zen or completely uncontrollable?

Mine weren't shouters and I'm good under pressure, most of the time. I dislike seeing people lost the plot. It makes me feel embarassed for them.

AnneFrank

pickarooney wrote: »

I'd be interested to meet the child to whom a parent has never raised his/her voice. Are they super-zen or completely uncontrollable?

They are well adjusted kids pick, and perfectly polite.
Sure they have their moments but never anything too bad.
They are girls who are 12 so maybe it will change,
But i have always believed, if you have parents who scream and shout, you will have kids who scream and shout, just my opinion