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I just......

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  • 27-04-2017 8:52am
    #1
    thelad95
    Registered Users Posts: 7,812 ✭✭✭


    Had my first sh*te in 6 days, I swear this is the greatest high known to mankind.

    I feel so light like I could run a marathon now if I wanted.


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Comments

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    #2
    Hande hoche!
    Registered Users Posts: 7,453 ✭✭✭Hande hoche!


    ****e thread.


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    #3
    hungry hypno toad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 646 ✭✭✭hungry hypno toad


    Any pics of this beast, OP?


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    #4
    hungry hypno toad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 646 ✭✭✭hungry hypno toad


    Hande hoche! wrote: »
    ****e thread.

    I've seen worse.


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    #5
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,277 ✭✭✭Your Face


    You ok hun?


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    #6
    hungry hypno toad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 646 ✭✭✭hungry hypno toad


    Your Face wrote: »
    You ok hun?

    He died of dehydration from the exertion of giving birth, imagine being stuck on a toilet for 6 days.


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    #7
    Teddington Cuddlesworth
    Registered Users Posts: 315 ✭✭Teddington Cuddlesworth


    Have you had surgery on your backside recently op?


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    #8
    Arghus
    Registered Users Posts: 14,356 ✭✭✭✭Arghus


    Fair play to ya OP, we were all rooting for you.


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    #9
    hungry hypno toad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 646 ✭✭✭hungry hypno toad


    Teddington Cuddlesworth wrote: »
    Have you had surgery on your backside recently op?

    No, but he might be in need of reconstructive surgery now.


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    #10
    Parchment
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Parchment


    You should probably see a doctor.


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    #11
    Radiant Cool Crazy Nightmare
    Registered Users Posts: 237 ✭✭Radiant Cool Crazy Nightmare


    More importantly, how many courics was it?


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    #12
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    Do you hold it in and then treat yourself on day 6 or were you constipated?


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    #13
    BBDBB
    Registered Users Posts: 26,899 ✭✭✭✭BBDBB


    how many flushes?


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    #14
    Effects
    Registered Users Posts: 9,761 ✭✭✭Effects


    Who the f?ck gives a sh?t?


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    #15
    infogiver
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,505 ✭✭✭infogiver


    Well done.
    Don't let it get that bad again.


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    #16
    Boom_Bap
    Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,730 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    Perfect place for one of my favorite jokes.

    What did the constipated mathematician do?

    He worked it out with a pencil. :pac:


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    #17
    nullzero
    Registered Users Posts: 16,370 ✭✭✭✭nullzero
    ****


    BBDBB wrote: »
    how many flushes?

    More importantly, how many Couric's?

    Glazers Out!



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    #18
    nullzero
    Registered Users Posts: 16,370 ✭✭✭✭nullzero
    ****


    Boom_Bap wrote: »
    Perfect place for one of my favorite jokes.

    What did the constipated mathematician do?

    He worked it out with a pencil. :pac:

    Why did the Baker have smelly hands?

    Because he kneaded a poo.

    Glazers Out!



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    #19
    Aglomerado
    Registered Users Posts: 5,761 ✭✭✭Aglomerado


    One for the log tables....


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    #20
    Conor Bourke
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 17,424 ✭✭✭✭Conor Bourke


    Describe it for us using this handy scale

    bristol_stool_chart.gif


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    #21
    thelad95
    Registered Users Posts: 7,812 ✭✭✭thelad95


    Cornelius Crow wrote: »
    Describe it for us using this handy scale

    bristol_stool_chart.gif

    Type 1 followed seconds later by a big glorious type 3.


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    #22
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    6 days? ****ing hell.

    I'm not sure if I have gone a single day on this earth without dropping some kids off at the pool.

    Maybe, maybe, I've gone a day, when I've been sick or something, but I genuinely don't recall. I cannot imagine 6 days. It'd be like carrying a small child around in your intestines, the size of it.


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    #23
    Aglomerado
    Registered Users Posts: 5,761 ✭✭✭Aglomerado


    Cornelius Crow wrote: »
    Describe it for us using this handy scale

    bristol_stool_chart.gif

    I quite like your signature when paired with this chart....


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    #24
    Conor Bourke
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 17,424 ✭✭✭✭Conor Bourke


    Aglomerado wrote: »
    I quite like your signature when paired with this chart....

    :D


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    #25
    Irish Guitarist
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,736 ✭✭✭Irish Guitarist


    Did you leave it under the pillow for the shite fairy?


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    #26
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    The feckin waltzers in Funderland literally spun the sh1t out of me.
    I reckon centrifugal forces* pushed water to the outside my colon -had a majorl rush of watery poo 2 hours later, followed immediately by a very dry one. No fun I tell you.

    I'm still not right.
    *That or it was campylobacter...


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    #27
    jester77
    Registered Users Posts: 11,262 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    6 days :eek: You must be walking like a cowboy after that one!


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    #28
    LirW
    Registered Users Posts: 4,825 ✭✭✭LirW


    The poops you have after having a C-Section... that's a very new chapter in my life. Feel ya, OP.


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    #29
    Beasty
    Administrators, Social & Fun Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 75,439 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Beasty


    hungry hypno toad wrote: »
    Any pics of this beast, OP?

    Please!!!

    Don't bring me into this


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    #30
    harry Bailey esq
    Registered Users Posts: 4,814 ✭✭✭harry Bailey esq


    thelad95 wrote: »
    Type 1 followed seconds later by a big glorious type 3.

    Sweet.Did you require a second visit about an hour or so later that was a number seven(I call it the rearguard)? If so,you've turned out a textbook festive sh1te.Ubiquitous around the country in the week running from the 28th of Dec through to the turd of January.An absolute classic.


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    #31
    Hector Bellend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,667 ✭✭✭Hector Bellend


    I took an exceptional dump this morning also.

    It was intense


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