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I just......

thelad95

Had my first sh*te in 6 days, I swear this is the greatest high known to mankind.

I feel so light like I could run a marathon now if I wanted.

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me_irl

Well done.

kfallon

Say your bunghole was like a bloodorange after squeezing out a 6 day baked bum loaf!

nullzero

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

Did you leave it under the pillow for the shite fairy?

Sorry to tell you but the poo fairy doesn't exist.

Outlaw Pete

thelad95 wrote: »

...followed seconds later by a big glorious type 3.

So, just to be clear, you describe a Type 3 (phallic shaped) shite stretching your ring as being "glorious" and the "greatest high known to mankind"?

Have you ever thought about going for a drink in The George, OP... you may just have discovered your G spot?

ToddyDoody

thelad95 wrote: »

Had my first sh*te in 6 days, I swear this is the greatest high known to mankind.

I feel so light like I could run a marathon now if I wanted.

The fertiliser company won't be recruiting you any time soon.

Harry Palmr

Six days?! Fancy giving us a glimpse of your typical grocery list? Do you ever do any exercise?

greencap

Harry Palmr wrote: »

Six days?! Fancy giving us a glimpse of your typical grocery list? Do you ever do any exercise?

FFS 6 days. I'd say its pancakes and lard, with chips and bread.

I'd normally be jealous of a 6 day-er, but recently discovered a secret technique that almost instantly doubles standard yield.

You just have to raise your feet on something solid so you're in a more squat position. They make special foot stools for it.

Its amazing. Plus rumor has it several people, by way of using this technique, have achieved the fabled no-wiper.

Elemonator

What have I walked in on.........

Harry Palmr

Yep I'm aware of the "Asian" squat stance, makes sense when you think about it.

TerrorFirmer

My housemate actually bought a 'squatty potty' as a joke but now insists it's the only way he can go. Haven't tried it yet. Perhaps I'm missing out on a sensational experience.

Six days though, good god. I mean, when you think of all the food you're eating on a daily basis and for six days it's just backing up in your system with nowhere to go....a friend of mine didn't go for something like 10 days once and had to go to the doctor about it in the end. Towards the end of the ordeal he was actually hobbling around like a decrepit 105 year old man.

greencap