Young woman murdered in Goa, India

carolmon

india just seems to have undergone a transformation in one generation.

I travelled there with my boyfriend in the 80's and it was really easy to travel as a woman, in fact it was the male who got all the hassle and the wouldn't lay a finger on me.

My (very easy going) partner completely lost it at times as he was constantly pulled/ pushed and pestered in order to get our custom for various hotels/ restaurants / tuk tuks.

I wouldn't be keen to travel there now tbh .......it's a shame as it's a wonderful country and really an unique experience to travel there.

Noddyholder

Witchie wrote: »

Well I did feel safer on the beach and on the streets around Palolem than in the streets of Dublin at night.

Maybe its coz I am in "holiday" mode and a bit more relaxed but I have been hyper aware at all times as I know that, as with anywhere, there are dangers.

Anyway whether I feel safe or not here is not important anymore. I will stay for another few weeks but am now reviewing my decision to travel across the country on my own and may look at going on a tour instead.

Witchie, I was there back in the nineties for a month, With Indian friends , There attitude to especially western women was terrible, not saying they all like that but they have apperception of above women to be easy & disrespectful in what a woman should be, In house, having children, cooking & cleaning etc etc

Also most Western countries advise against women travelling alone in India, I certainly would be reviewing my travel plans, but I know your a seasoned traveller & will take the necessary precaution's, keep safe.

Witchie

Noddyholder wrote: »

Witchie, I was there back in the nineties for a month, With Indian friends , There attitude to especially western women was terrible, not saying they all like that but they have apperception of above women to be easy & disrespectful in what a woman should be, In house, having children, cooking & cleaning etc etc

Also most Western countries advise against women travelling alone in India, I certainly would be reviewing my travel plans, but I know your a seasoned traveller & will take the necessary precaution's, keep safe.

I hear ya. It is a bit unsettling to have people (and not just the men) stare at you all the time and shout at you to come into their shops but when you actually sit down and chat to some of the Indian people they truly are lovely. On Sunday last, my landlord invited me up to his family home for Holi. It was fantastic. Music, dancing, food and great craic with his family.

I have a woman who comes in and cleans for me every few days and she is so sweet and gives me hugs all the time. The woman who owns the local shop will always have a great chat with me. Likewise the guy who owns a restauarant at the end of my road. I have never been in the restaurant, yet today he sorted my tuk tuk to take me to the atm and doctors.

The guys in the hotel beside me couldn't be nicer, one of them is now my boyfriend as I have had such a lovely time chatting and laughing with them.

Even down at the beach the staff in the bars couldn't be nicer and seem so delighted to find out where you are from and how long you are staying here.

Honestly, until this happened I felt so safe and unthreatened here. I had a worse experience in Sri Lanka were a guy started to feel me up on the bus and then followed me onto my next bus and sat **** across from me. I shouted at him and took his photograph and he left me alone.

I know that I am a novelty here. I have been hit on so many times when it is rare at home for a guy to look twice at me. But when I say "no, I have a boyfriend" they have always respected that and left me alone.

Locally, people are talking about the murderer and how he was always a bad f**ker. He has a rap sheet for theft a mile long. Funnily though they talk about the fact that he is from a good family. His mother is a teacher and his dad works somewhere abroad sending home money so they are not poor and yet he is a thief and now rapist and murderer.

Am starting to worry about how I will get across India now or maybe I should just stay here and go with my boyfriend to Calcutta in June when he goes to his parents and then go to Nepal and China to meet my sister and her boyfriend.

Wanderer78

Witchie wrote:

Am starting to worry about how I will get across India now or maybe I should just stay here and go with my boyfriend to Calcutta in June when he goes to his parents and then go to Nepal and China to meet my sister and her boyfriend.

Please be safe

take everything

Shurimgreat wrote: »

So women should only use female only compartments on the luas/train/dart?

Get real.

You cannot compare the two countries in terms of the treatment of women. Read the points the tripadvisor poster made again. Women, particularly western women, are a target of local men in Goa. The danger is there, to ignore or dismiss it nonchalantly serves no-one.

I will put it simply, this place is dangerous for western women.

+1

It really is shocking how some people will not accept that there is difference when it comes to attitudes/behaviour to women between two cultures. It's infuriating even when the facts are presented to them. They cling to whataboutery and all sorts of bending over backwards in the name of political correctness.

RIP to this poor girl.

smurfjed

@witchie
I have read reports that this girl knew her murderer, is that true?
People must remember that once you go east of Athens, male egos change and their treatment of women changes accordingly.

Witchie

smurfjed wrote: »

@witchie
I have read reports that this girl knew her murderer, is that true?
People must remember that once you go east of Athens, male egos change and their treatment of women changes accordingly.

Seems she made friends with him and some other local lads when she was here last year but am not 100% sure on that. There are very little good sources of info on the ground here as it is still kinda being hushed up. Nobody really wants to talk about it from what I can see. And I don't want to get involved in rumours and speculation too much.

Erik Shin

The conversation has moved on... Witchie is talking about travelling across India....Pity you didn't read the thread before stamping your feet like a demented leprechaun in Darby O'Gill

panda100

alchemist33 wrote:

This is the post referred to as "victim blaming". How???

Apologies I didnt literally mean the second post, i meant that within the first page she was being blamed for her own death because she travelled to India as a women .Which of course is the definition of victim blaming. I hope her family get justice for this heinous crime.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

Bambi985

India is a sh1thole, the smell, the crowds, the uncomfortable stares everywhere you go. Could never understand why hoards of westerners have it on their bucket list and there's any sort of perception of it being this utopian paradise, far far from it IME.

RIP to that poor young woman. What a truly horrific death she must have had.

.........

Witchie wrote: »

Seems she made friends with him and some other local lads when she was here last year but am not 100% sure on that. There are very little good sources of info on the ground here as it is still kinda being hushed up. Nobody really wants to talk about it from what I can see. And I don't want to get involved in rumours and speculation too much.

Thing is the locals know what company to keep what company not to, and they are generally not going to share that info in case word gets back to the bad company. Even if the locals don't know if another Indian is good or bad, they can tell by the accents mannerisms , small clues etc. that they might not be good company, just as we can in Ireland. Something foreigners are not able to pick up on. India is no different.

Foreigners charmed by seemingly nice people on the surface, keen to have a what could be a useful/exploitable westerner dependent and hanging about with them, don't have a clue who they are really getting involved with.

retro:electro

panda100 wrote: »

Apologies I didnt literally mean the second post, i meant that within the first page she was being blamed for her own death because she travelled to India as a women .Which of course is the definition of victim blaming. I hope her family get justice for this heinous crime.

Can you point out what posts your referring to? I didn't read any post which suggested she was responsible for her death as she travelled alone.

indireferee

take everything wrote: »

+1

It really is shocking how some people will not accept that there is difference when it comes to attitudes/behaviour to women between two cultures. It's infuriating even when the facts are presented to them. They cling to whataboutery and all sorts of bending over backwards in the name of political correctness.

RIP to this poor girl.

As an Indian, I'm terribly sorry to hear about this unfortunate incident - RIP to the departed soul. The killer has been caught by the police and I hope he gets the harshest sentence.

Yes, parts of India are not safe for women (local or foreigner) - no question about that. I think our society is well aware of it, and steps are being taken to address this menace socially, but it will take time. It's best for tourists to take precautions - do not go out alone at night, make friends cautiously etc. I think there was a study that in most cases of sexual offences, the attacker was previously known to the victim (the same appears true in this case). So, really be cautious about who you are befriending.

Of course, the western media (BBC etc.) blows the issue out of proportion - the fact remains that India has lower such crimes per capita than Sweden, US, UK or even Ireland (check Wikipedia for last UN crime stats). Even in absolute numbers, the US takes the top spot. ( en.wikipedia.org / wiki / Rape_statistics ). I'm not defending the crimes in any way - it is horrible even if 1 incident of violence takes place. The point is that such a$$holes and criminals are everywhere (even in the Western countries), but our perceptions are largely formed by the news we consume.

I remember some news anchor in India once made a similar generalisation when the church scandal was out, calling UK/Ireland a land of pedophiles - which is of course not true. Such generalisations about an entire culture fuel unnecessary hatred among people, and are best to be ignored.

Once again, RIP to the lady.

Witchie

At 4pm local tone today there is a "solidarity meeting" organised by some of the people she knew out here. I hope there is a big turnout to show her friends and family that she won't be forgotten or ignored.

If you know anyone in South Goa ask them to come along to the sports ground across the road from the post office in Chaudi.

Wibbs

anna080 wrote: »

Can you point out what posts your referring to? I didn't read any post which suggested she was responsible for her death as she travelled alone.

+1 Good luck with that search. There wasn't any. Woman tragically raped and murdered = assume "victim blaming". :rolleyes: