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Speed Dating & Men

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2

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    #32
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »
    Wow, you're good :)

    Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glenross - is that you?


    you know what it takes to sell dating services????? brass baaawllls!!


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    #33
    red ears
    Closed Accounts Posts: 945 ✭✭✭red ears


    DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »
    I'd say many lads would panic at the thought, it takes some lads an age to get the courage to chat up one girl, let alone 7 or 8 in quick succession. Too much pressure for them and the chances of experiencing rejection are high.

    If the woman is reasonably good looking and relatively nice she could sit and smile and not say a massive amount, make little effort to be entertaining or funny and just let the man do all the talking. A man could not do the same and be successful. Basically all the pressure is on the man to be funny, entertaining interesting etc. It all just seems like too much effort. I'm not surprised men aren't rushing out to speed dating nights.


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    #34
    the.red.baron
    Registered Users Posts: 1,632 ✭✭✭the.red.baron


    Right, so you are posting adverts on Facebook for this and you are surprised that few men are responding to it

    What man uses face book?

    You might as well advertise the event at a salsa dance class


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    #35
    1ehkrjq6x2opfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 58 ✭✭1ehkrjq6x2opfm


    red ears wrote: »
    If the woman is reasonably good looking and relatively nice she could sit and not say a massive amount, make little effort to be entertaining or funny and just let the man do all the talking. A man could not do the same and be successful. Basically all the pressure is on the man to be funny, entertaining interesting etc. It all just seems like too much effort. I'm not surprised men aren't rushing out to speed dating nights.

    Jeeze. That really doesn't sound appealing, so I understand completely. I can talk for Ireland, so I probably bore fellas to death.


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    #36
    razorblunt
    Registered Users Posts: 17,300 ✭✭✭✭razorblunt


    Emelia Bald Pluto wrote: »
    Wait a second - you met all those Helens? :pac: What about Helen Hunt?

    She was grand like, had a dead fish handshake, probably why her career stalled.


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    #37
    the.red.baron
    Registered Users Posts: 1,632 ✭✭✭the.red.baron


    red ears wrote: »
    If the woman is reasonably good looking and relatively nice she could sit and smile and not say a massive amount, make little effort to be entertaining or funny and just let the man do all the talking. A man could not do the same and be successful. Basically all the pressure is on the man to be funny, entertaining interesting etc. It all just seems like too much effort. I'm not surprised men aren't rushing out to speed dating nights.


    Do you consider yourself reasonably good looking yet you find you need to make a lot of effort?

    If you were, then you wouldn't


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    #38
    mollygreene
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭mollygreene


    Specialun wrote: »
    will there be consent forms at the start. If I say hi and sit down I dont want to be accused of rape



    You might want to try getting over yourself first.


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    #39
    red ears
    Closed Accounts Posts: 945 ✭✭✭red ears


    the.red.baron wrote: »
    Do you consider yourself reasonably good looking yet you find you need to make a lot of effort?

    Neither. I'm only average looking and i don't make much effort at all.


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    #40
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Emelia Bald Pluto wrote: »
    Jeeze. That really doesn't sound appealing, so I understand completely. I can talk for Ireland, so I probably bore fellas to death.

    well aoife that depends, we'll let you bore us to death talking all sorts if your top is just toight enuf!!

    anyway see ya at the tables ;)


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    #41
    red ears
    Closed Accounts Posts: 945 ✭✭✭red ears


    Emelia Bald Pluto wrote: »
    Jeeze. That really doesn't sound appealing, so I understand completely. I can talk for Ireland, so I probably bore fellas to death.

    Some men would love that sort of thing but a lot wouldn't. Its good that you are a good talker that would go a long way in those sort of events.


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    #42
    MrMorooka
    Registered Users Posts: 710 ✭✭✭MrMorooka


    Well, I'm a man, and I would kill myself before going to something like this. Sounds like an absolute nightmare.


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    #43
    Shurimgreat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,133 ✭✭✭Shurimgreat


    Has anyone ever had any "success" from speed dating? Serious relationship? Long-term? Marriage? etc

    My guess is the success rate is low.

    And you usually have to pay a fee.

    I think you see now why men are slow to take it up. Women usually do it for the craic. It takes a lot of effort to impress most women, and 3 minutes of conversation usually doesn't do it.


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    #44
    Fleawuss
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,681 ✭✭✭Fleawuss


    Speed dating has been passed out by speedier dating i.e. Tinder. A swipe is as fast as it can be.


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    #45
    bucketybuck
    Registered Users Posts: 18,221 ✭✭✭✭bucketybuck


    You wouldn't catch me dead at speed dating, its a horribly inequal way of meeting what is supposed to be your equal.

    The OP is also a blatant advertisement, considering this is not the only place I've seen Aoife advertising Helens little event today.


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    #46
    blue note
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭blue note


    I actually think it sounds like great craic. After getting out of an 8 year relationship I became single in 2014 and did the tinder thing for a while. After months of Tinder I finally got a single date. There was no speed dating convenient for me in those months. Then, the tinder date went well and I never got to do the speed dating :( But I just thought face to face sounded like so much more fun than the tinder swiping.


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    #47
    super_furry
    Registered Users Posts: 27,322 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    Speed dating seems to be the kind of thing a group of women will do for a laugh. Not sure you'd get the same from guys.


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    #48
    RobertKK
    Registered Users Posts: 33,732 ✭✭✭✭RobertKK


    It all seems too much like enhanced interrogation for the man.


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    #49
    Parachutes
    Registered Users Posts: 975 ✭✭✭Parachutes


    Trying to impress a woman is hard enough anyway without trying to do it in the space of 2 or 5 minutes. You'd be like a performing monkey going around.


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    #50
    silverharp
    Registered Users Posts: 17,849 ✭✭✭✭silverharp


    RobertKK wrote: »
    It all seems too much like enhanced interrogation for the man.

    tell me about waterboarding again? :pac:

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



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    #51
    Grayson
    Registered Users Posts: 16,155 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    Shurimgreat wrote: »
    Has anyone ever had any "success" from speed dating? Serious relationship? Long-term? Marriage? etc

    My guess is the success rate is low.

    And you usually have to pay a fee.

    I think you see now why men are slow to take it up. Women usually do it for the craic. It takes a lot of effort to impress most women, and 3 minutes of conversation usually doesn't do it.

    3 minutes is the perfect amount of time. Ask a few questions, tell a few jokes, flirt a bit and it's over. Making conversation for an hour is far more difficult for most people.
    It could be great fun but also it's going to be educational. Want to practice flirting? This is perfect. First impressions matter and this is a great way to find out how to do it.


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    #52
    1ehkrjq6x2opfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 58 ✭✭1ehkrjq6x2opfm


    Shurimgreat wrote: »
    Has anyone ever had any "success" from speed dating? Serious relationship? Long-term? Marriage? etc

    My guess is the success rate is low.

    And you usually have to pay a fee.

    I think you see now why men are slow to take it up. Women usually do it for the craic. It takes a lot of effort to impress most women, and 3 minutes of conversation usually doesn't do it.

    I said the same thing about internet dating and there are plenty of people I know who mate their partners online. None from speed dating though. I disagree on the 3 minute thing though - that quick initial judgement is the same that you'd give someone on a night out surely? I don't think there's really an ideal way to meet someone but yeah, it would be interesting to see the success rate :P


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    #53
    andekwarhola
    Registered Users Posts: 4,638 ✭✭✭andekwarhola


    Dunno if all the men are as put upon as people claim here. A old acquaintance of mine went, met three women from it; slept with them all and then immediately ghosted them.

    If I was single, I'd avoid them like the plague. Not because I'd be butthurt about the gender angle, just that it seems like an extreme distillation of everything I hate about The Chat Up.


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    #54
    bodice ripper
    Registered Users Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭bodice ripper


    I just want to confirm that as a woman, I am constantly inundated with offers and attention. I never have to do a damn thing, and I am up to my tits in non stop sex and marriage proposals. That's the way it works, I swear.


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    #55
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    to be honest I think the best thing would be to consult an expert in this area. Maybe a veteran who sees women as equals and not just sex objects, whilst simultaneously having an understanding on contemporary dating dynamics in terms of risk versus reward in the context on two consensual adults accepting an occasion for what it is...


    maybe best to listen to the expert.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tgS1n7DQbY


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    #56
    Dr Crayfish
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,960 ✭✭✭Dr Crayfish


    I'm sure it could be enjoyable and may lead to later dates but 30 quid? Why would you pay that when you have Tinder for free?


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    #57
    cantdecide
    Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    IME, very generally, men assess women on traits; women assess men on performance.

    As a guy, if you can't 'perform' in the short time, you'll have a bad time (unless you've won the gene lottery). If you've gotten into your thirties and remain single, chances are you're not a born salesman. As above, it's intimidating as a solitary man to enter a room full of co-ordinated and high spirited women expecting you to wow them.
    bodice ripper wrote: »
    I just want to confirm that as a woman, I am constantly inundated with offers and attention. I never have to do a damn thing, and I am up to my tits in non stop sex and marriage proposals. That's the way it works, I swear.

    I KNEW IT!!


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    #58
    bodice ripper
    Registered Users Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭bodice ripper


    cantdecide wrote:
    I KNEW IT!!


    It's true. I can barely get a word out of my mouth without someone jamming a cock and a stay-at-home lifestyle in it.


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    #59
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    Im a man.

    Ive done Tinder, pof and other dating sites.

    Ive also chatted ladies up in bars being in my early thirties and dating before mobiles.

    1. Whilst a girl on a night out may get approached by numerous men and see it as par for the course each one of those men likely thought about approaching her and worked up the courage. Many more thought about it and didnt.

    2. This type of night would consist of ten performances in a row where you are expected to be witty, charming, good craic and treat loads of ladies you have zero interest of engaging with / nothing in common with with the same attentive rapture as the one or two max you will like else theyll be bitching about you, and mark it they will.

    3. You cant bring your mates. Its a social event for girls. Its a solo event for lads.

    4. There are much much much much easier and less stressful ways to meet someone than signing yourself up for what is a series of awkwardly painful experiences

    Im an okay looking lad. Never had problems meeting ladies or getting dates. I could probably, if I was in top form, manage three or four rounds before id simply lose interest and run out of steam. It sounds positively exhausting and id have no energy to pretend after that.


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    #60
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    bodice ripper wrote: »
    It's true. I can barely get a word out of my mouth without someone jamming a cock and a stay-at-home lifestyle in it.

    Sounds like an average prison.


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    #61
    bodice ripper
    Registered Users Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭bodice ripper


    Mr. Incognito wrote:
    Sounds like an average prison.


    Prison is my pension plan. Women's prison, and me knowing how to tattoo AND eat carpet...?


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