Speed Dating & Men

1ehkrjq6x2opfm

Not sure if this is the best place for this question, but here goes....

A friend of mine runs a successful speed dating evening in the UK and asked me to host an event tomorrow (Valentine's Night) and put out a few ads on Facebook in order to sell tickets. Women seemed to snap up tickets but the take up for men has been a lot slower. I am interested to get feedback on what people expect from an evening like speed dating and why Irish men seem to be slow to sign up?

Is it the website, or are Irish people not into speed dating?

Cheers

Temptamperu

MGTOW!

ScumLord

Maybe they don't like speed. Cocaine might get a better response.

Samuel T. Cogley

Poppers and Viagra!

WHIP IT!

Literally the worst sales pitch I've seen since Homer Simpson, in an effort to sell his homemade Libido Tonic, approached a man and noted "Excuse me Sir, you look like a man who has trouble pleasing his wife..."

Glenster

Emelia Bald Pluto wrote: »

Is it the website? (I've added the link below) or are Irish people not into speed dating?


Cheers

Speed rejection, went once in my early twenties.

The women were drunk, hysterically giggly, in packs, and brutal.

1ehkrjq6x2opfm

WHIP IT! wrote: »

Literally the worst sales pitch I've seen since Homer Simpson, in an effort to sell his homemade Libido Tonic, approached a man and noted "Excuse me Sir, you look like a man who has trouble pleasing his wife..."

Im genuinely interested - It's not my business (I work in an unrelated industry). I thought that speed dating would do really well over here but Helen is finding it tough attracting Irish guys.

Apologies if it came across as a sales pitch. The Simpson reference gave me a giggle though, thanks!

Samuel T. Cogley

Sure why would we go to something like this when there's a 'rape culture' :rolleyes:

1ehkrjq6x2opfm

Glenster wrote: »

Speed rejection, went once in my early twenties.

The women were drunk, hysterically giggly, in packs, and brutal.

I went to a speed dating event about 18 months ago and while we didn't know each other, I did find that all the women were chatting together during the break, so I could understand what it might look like. As for drinking too much - nobody at the event was drinking (bar two or three...myself included).

Samuel T. Cogley

Emelia Bald Pluto wrote: »

I went to a speed dating event about 18 months ago and while we didn't know each other, I did find that all the women were chatting together during the break, so I could understand what it might look like. As for drinking too much - nobody at the event was drinking (bar two or three...myself included).

No chance of any nookie then?

Mr. CooL ICE

Mod:

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you weren't trying to advertise through your post, as this is heavily frowned upon. Please refrain from linking or naming the website

1ehkrjq6x2opfm

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

Mod:

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you weren't trying to advertise through your post, as this is heavily frowned upon. Please refrain from linking or naming the website

Thanks Nicolas - happy to edit the post to remove reference to the company name. I've removed the reference to the free tickets as well.

eeguy

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

Mod:

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you weren't trying to advertise through your post, as this is heavily frowned upon. Please refrain from linking or naming the website

So this is what you do between movies. Always wondered...

Samuel T. Cogley

Emelia Bald Pluto wrote: »

Thanks Nicolas - happy to edit the post to remove reference to the company name. I've removed the reference to the free tickets as well.

Wow, you're good

Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glenross - is that you?

Pherekydes

Speed dating in Ireland involves a souped-up 17 year-old Civic and donuts.

razorblunt

As a Corkman, I'd reckon speed dating would be pretty easy, surewetalkfiercequicklike.

Wibbs

razorblunt wrote: »

As a Corkman, I'd reckon speed dating would be pretty easy, surewetalkfiercequicklike.

:pac: Thanks ya langer tea all over screen propelled from nose.


I've heard this men not being keen thing before when it comes to speed dating, or general trying to find partner organised meet ups. I knew someone who ran them years back and getting the male numbers close to equal was a struggle. In the over 30's bracket it was really difficult apparently. No idea why TBH as you'd imagine the ratio would be skewed t'other way?

Kimbot

Wibbs wrote: »

:pac: Thanks ya langer tea all over screen propelled from nose.


I've heard this men not being keen thing before when it comes to speed dating, or general trying to find partner organised meet ups. I knew someone who ran them years back and getting the male numbers close to equal was a struggle. In the over 30's bracket it was really difficult apparently. No idea why TBH as you'd imagine the ratio would be skewed t'other way?

You would be right, they estimate that for online dating there is at least 10 men to every woman out there.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Wibbs wrote: »

:pac: Thanks ya langer tea all over screen propelled from nose.


I've heard this men not being keen thing before when it comes to speed dating, or general trying to find partner organised meet ups. I knew someone who ran them years back and getting the male numbers close to equal was a struggle. In the over 30's bracket it was really difficult apparently. No idea why TBH as you'd imagine the ratio would be skewed t'other way?

I'd say many lads would panic at the thought, it takes some lads an age to get the courage to chat up one girl, let alone 7 or 8 in quick succession. Too much pressure for them and the chances of experiencing rejection are high.

Clampdown

I've heard this before: that more women turn up for these things than men, which is interesting, considering it is like a real life version of tinder I thought it would be the opposite.

I'm male, and would probably never go, but that is mainly because I enjoy being single right now. But if I was looking, I still wouldn't, because I would feel kind of pathetic for some reason. I don't think women feel that way because they know (and we know) that at the end of the day we will still have to do the pursuing, while women do the picking. So it's the same as being at a pub/club where you stand a high risk of rejection but you can't just shrug it off and pretend you're there for the craic/music/booze/mates, etc.

One reason I stay single now is I find situations where you feel like you have to 'sell yourself' to a potential mate really cringey and it's really hard to give someone a true glimpse of your personality in such short spaces of time.

I think it just boils down to a fear of rejection, a few failed chat up lines on night out is one thing but to get rejected by a swathe of women in one go would be pretty dejecting. And while you could view tinder swipes that don't turn to matches as rejections it's not the same as you never met face to face.

I'd say the types of guys who would be most likely to feel comfortable doing speed dating would be good looking and confident, but they can probably get dates easy enough without resorting to speed dating!

I might be wrong but I would also assume a lot of the women that would be there, would be in a lot of cases looking for some guy to tick every box or they won't bother with them, ie: the types that are super picky which is why they are still single and have to try speed dating.

In short, I wouldn't want to disappoint so many women in one night, nor be rejected by so many in one night!

ScumLord

It's the same everywhere though. I was walking down street in some eastern European capitol and was dragged into a bar and forced to dance with a very attractive eastern European woman because they found it hard to get men to take part. I can see why they wouldn't want to do dancing. It was one of those latin dances where they rub up against you. I had to go outside and sit down for a while.

The problem is men and women are following their own interests these days and men and women have completely different interests that don't really have much cross over.

Wibbs

Clampdown wrote: »

I think it just boils down to a fear of rejection, a few failed chat up lines on night out is one thing but to get rejected by a swathe of women in one go would be pretty detecting. And while you could view tinder swipes that don't turn to matches as rejections it's not the same as you never met face to face.

I'd say the types of guys who would be most likely to feel comfortable doing speed dating would be good looking and confident, but they can probably get dates easy enough without resorting to speed dating!

Sounds plausible alright. That and maybe a sense of "this is serious business" regarding matching up too? A bit clinical maybe.

1ehkrjq6x2opfm

Wibbs wrote: »

:pac: Thanks ya langer tea all over screen propelled from nose.


I've heard this men not being keen thing before when it comes to speed dating, or general trying to find partner organised meet ups. I knew someone who ran them years back and getting the male numbers close to equal was a struggle. In the over 30's bracket it was really difficult apparently. No idea why TBH as you'd imagine the ratio would be skewed t'other way?

Yeah, a lot of my guy friends were just not interested and much prefer the online dating thing. Personally, I found that you could spend weeks talking to someone online whereas a face to face meeting would be faster and easier when it came to deciding on them.

razorblunt

Wibbs wrote: »

:pac: Thanks ya langer tea all over screen propelled from nose.


I've heard this men not being keen thing before when it comes to speed dating, or general trying to find partner organised meet ups. I knew someone who ran them years back and getting the male numbers close to equal was a struggle. In the over 30's bracket it was really difficult apparently. No idea why TBH as you'd imagine the ratio would be skewed t'other way?

I hope it was Barry's!

1ehkrjq6x2opfm

razorblunt wrote: »

As a Corkman, I'd reckon speed dating would be pretty easy, surewetalkfiercequicklike.

Well, Helen was looking to set an event up in Cork....so you could be an ambassador

razorblunt

Emelia Bald Pluto wrote: »

Well, Helen was looking to set an event up in Cork....so you could be an ambassador

Tell Helen as much as I'd love to prove my theory right, my wife would not be keen, mainly due to being right I'd say, she knows my chat game is falling apart.

I've also never met a Helen I like; Lovejoy, Hunt, of Troy, the wan in Number 15 down the road.

silverharp

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I'd say many lads would panic at the thought, it takes some lads an age to get the courage to chat up one girl, let alone 7 or 8 in quick succession. Too much pressure for them and the chances of experiencing rejection are high.

that sums it up. its a setup that would appear to suit the women more while the pressure is on the guy to be engaging in quick succession . Also from late 20s to early 30's there are going to be less guys available so that would skew the numbers too.
I would have thought Tinder etc killed this kind of business?

1ehkrjq6x2opfm

Clampdown wrote: »

I've heard this before: that more women turn up for these things than men, which is interesting, considering it is like a real life version of tinder I thought it would be the opposite.

I'm male, and would probably never go, but that is mainly because I enjoy being single right now. But if I was looking, I still wouldn't, because I would feel kind of emasculated and pathetic for some reason. I don't think women feel that way because they know (and we know) that at the end of the day we will still have to do the pursuing, while women do the picking. So it's the same as being at a pub/club where you stand a high risk of rejection but you can't just shrug it off and pretend you're there for the craic/music/booze/mates, etc.

One reason I stay single now is I find situations where you feel like you have to 'sell yourself' to a potential mate really cringey and it's really hard to give someone a true glimpse of your personality in such short spaces of time.

I think it just boils down to a fear of rejection, a few failed chat up lines on night out is one thing but to get rejected by a swathe of women in one go would be pretty detecting. And while you could view tinder swipes that don't turn to matches as rejections it's not the same as you never met face to face.

I'd say the types of guys who would be most likely to feel comfortable doing speed dating would be good looking and confident, but they can probably get dates easy enough without resorting to speed dating!

I don't agree on the whole thing of leaving it up to men to do the running around. Any single women I speak to about online dating find that conversations trail off or guys bounce in and out of conversations, so they end up doing the chasing. I don't think they mind, so long as there's something worthwhile at the end of it - a date / promise of cake! This is a survey of one here, but I always felt that women looked at speed dating as a bit of fun with the chance of meeting someone decent at the end of it. Maybe guys take it too seriously?

As for selling yourself - I once found myself doing online dating and applying for jobs -it felt like I was selling myself day and night. Exhausting. Ended up quitting the search on both counts and happier for it.

Specialun

will there be consent forms at the start. If I say hi and sit down I dont want to be accused of rape

1ehkrjq6x2opfm

razorblunt wrote: »

Tell Helen as much as I'd love to prove my theory right, my wife would not be keen, mainly due to being right I'd say, she knows my chat game is falling apart.

I've also never met a Helen I like; Lovejoy, Hunt, of Troy, the wan in Number 15 down the road.

Wait a second - you met all those Helens? :pac: What about Helen Hunt?

Carlos Orange

Maybe speed rejection isn't as interesting for guys if they have been rejected a good few times already.

Samuel T. Cogley

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

Wow, you're good

Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glenross - is that you?

you know what it takes to sell dating services????? brass baaawllls!!

red ears

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I'd say many lads would panic at the thought, it takes some lads an age to get the courage to chat up one girl, let alone 7 or 8 in quick succession. Too much pressure for them and the chances of experiencing rejection are high.

If the woman is reasonably good looking and relatively nice she could sit and smile and not say a massive amount, make little effort to be entertaining or funny and just let the man do all the talking. A man could not do the same and be successful. Basically all the pressure is on the man to be funny, entertaining interesting etc. It all just seems like too much effort. I'm not surprised men aren't rushing out to speed dating nights.

the.red.baron

Right, so you are posting adverts on Facebook for this and you are surprised that few men are responding to it

What man uses face book?

You might as well advertise the event at a salsa dance class

1ehkrjq6x2opfm

red ears wrote: »

If the woman is reasonably good looking and relatively nice she could sit and not say a massive amount, make little effort to be entertaining or funny and just let the man do all the talking. A man could not do the same and be successful. Basically all the pressure is on the man to be funny, entertaining interesting etc. It all just seems like too much effort. I'm not surprised men aren't rushing out to speed dating nights.

Jeeze. That really doesn't sound appealing, so I understand completely. I can talk for Ireland, so I probably bore fellas to death.

razorblunt

Emelia Bald Pluto wrote: »

Wait a second - you met all those Helens? :pac: What about Helen Hunt?

She was grand like, had a dead fish handshake, probably why her career stalled.

the.red.baron

red ears wrote: »

If the woman is reasonably good looking and relatively nice she could sit and smile and not say a massive amount, make little effort to be entertaining or funny and just let the man do all the talking. A man could not do the same and be successful. Basically all the pressure is on the man to be funny, entertaining interesting etc. It all just seems like too much effort. I'm not surprised men aren't rushing out to speed dating nights.

Do you consider yourself reasonably good looking yet you find you need to make a lot of effort?

If you were, then you wouldn't

mollygreene

Specialun wrote: »

will there be consent forms at the start. If I say hi and sit down I dont want to be accused of rape

You might want to try getting over yourself first.

red ears

the.red.baron wrote: »

Do you consider yourself reasonably good looking yet you find you need to make a lot of effort?

Neither. I'm only average looking and i don't make much effort at all.

Emelia Bald Pluto

Emelia Bald Pluto wrote: »

Jeeze. That really doesn't sound appealing, so I understand completely. I can talk for Ireland, so I probably bore fellas to death.

well aoife that depends, we'll let you bore us to death talking all sorts if your top is just toight enuf!!

anyway see ya at the tables

red ears

Emelia Bald Pluto wrote: »

Jeeze. That really doesn't sound appealing, so I understand completely. I can talk for Ireland, so I probably bore fellas to death.

Some men would love that sort of thing but a lot wouldn't. Its good that you are a good talker that would go a long way in those sort of events.

MrMorooka

Well, I'm a man, and I would kill myself before going to something like this. Sounds like an absolute nightmare.

Shurimgreat

Has anyone ever had any "success" from speed dating? Serious relationship? Long-term? Marriage? etc

My guess is the success rate is low.

And you usually have to pay a fee.

I think you see now why men are slow to take it up. Women usually do it for the craic. It takes a lot of effort to impress most women, and 3 minutes of conversation usually doesn't do it.

Fleawuss

Speed dating has been passed out by speedier dating i.e. Tinder. A swipe is as fast as it can be.

bucketybuck

You wouldn't catch me dead at speed dating, its a horribly inequal way of meeting what is supposed to be your equal.

The OP is also a blatant advertisement, considering this is not the only place I've seen Aoife advertising Helens little event today.

blue note

I actually think it sounds like great craic. After getting out of an 8 year relationship I became single in 2014 and did the tinder thing for a while. After months of Tinder I finally got a single date. There was no speed dating convenient for me in those months. Then, the tinder date went well and I never got to do the speed dating But I just thought face to face sounded like so much more fun than the tinder swiping.

super_furry

Speed dating seems to be the kind of thing a group of women will do for a laugh. Not sure you'd get the same from guys.

RobertKK

It all seems too much like enhanced interrogation for the man.

Parachutes

Trying to impress a woman is hard enough anyway without trying to do it in the space of 2 or 5 minutes. You'd be like a performing monkey going around.

silverharp

RobertKK wrote: »

It all seems too much like enhanced interrogation for the man.

tell me about waterboarding again? :pac:

Grayson

Shurimgreat wrote: »

Has anyone ever had any "success" from speed dating? Serious relationship? Long-term? Marriage? etc

My guess is the success rate is low.

And you usually have to pay a fee.

I think you see now why men are slow to take it up. Women usually do it for the craic. It takes a lot of effort to impress most women, and 3 minutes of conversation usually doesn't do it.

3 minutes is the perfect amount of time. Ask a few questions, tell a few jokes, flirt a bit and it's over. Making conversation for an hour is far more difficult for most people.
It could be great fun but also it's going to be educational. Want to practice flirting? This is perfect. First impressions matter and this is a great way to find out how to do it.