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Commitments issues vs Manchild??

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Comments

  • #62
    daisybelle2008
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭daisybelle2008


    OP no savings is bad enough, but in debt?? From motorbikes and pints?
    400 per month for bed, fed and watered is not massive. It's actually a bargain.
    I honestly cannot get my head around him being in debt. Something doesn't add up. He has a decent steady job. who does he owe money too?
    As someone else said either he has a secret savings stash or he is gambling. It seems a bit sinister.


  • #63
    Bambi985
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Bambi985


    daisybelle2008 wrote: »
    OP no savings is bad enough, but in debt?? From motorbikes and pints?
    400 per month for bed, fed and watered is not massive. It's actually a bargain.
    I honestly cannot get my head around him being in debt. Something doesn't add up. He has a decent steady job. who does he owe money too?
    As someone else said either he has a secret savings stash or he is gambling. It seems a bit sinister.

    some people are just atrociously bad with money. it never occurred to them to save and they just squander it all on booze, nights out, fags, trips away, etc
    this fella is still living at home, hasn't found it within him to become an independent adult in 37 years so it's very possible he's just pissing away his money and living pay check to pay check.


  • #64
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    She said his parents aren't good with money. And so, I doubt he has a secret stash of money anywhere. It's surprisingly easy to fritter away your money if you're not the sort who's in the habit of saving.


  • #65
    timmy880
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 306 ✭✭timmy880


    He's hiding something from you if he is in debt considering his current living situation.... And I suspect that's why he won't give up the cushy life. Could be gambling or some other addiction in the past that has led to debt but seriously at 37 things aren't adding up here at all. There is no realistic way he should be in debt. Or else he is just hiding it from you and is in fact financially secure but knows it's a good excuse not to commit.

    Do NOT let this guy move into your new house until you know the full story. Something isn't adding up at all.


  • #66
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    I don't think everyone gets how easy it is to fritter away money if you're in the habit of being good to yourself. And actually that is nearly as bad as having a gambling habit. If he's impulsive and buys everything he wants, that's not something he can change easily. Not a good omen at all for forming a household. Besides, she mentioned pints and motorbikes. Both those, especially the bikes, can be a significant financial drain.


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  • #67
    Bambi985
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Bambi985


    manchild = a grown up man who is very immature and acts like a child with no responsibilities.

    i'd say having no semblance of budgeting and spending away to your heart's content while not worrying about bills coz mammy pays them would fall well into the bracket of this. i know plenty of people who don't understand (or care for) the concept of saving to secure their own future and a gambling or addiction problem doesn't come into it. they just spend what they have on whatever they like until they no longer have it. get paid and rinse and repeat.

    OP is very obviously not that way, and i'd suggest that setting up a life with him longterm or worse marrying him is going to set her back financially as well as in all the other ways people are talking about here. OP, you've worked hard for that deposit and I'm sure you've worked hard for every penny that you have, don't let this kind of eejit set you down the poverty scale on top of everything else.

    yes, there's more to life than money but it's also a very big part of a partnership - having the same outlook and goals and working towards a common cause. he's not mature or copped on enough for any of the things you want. go and get them yourself and ditch this dead weight.


  • #68
    .......
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


    This post has been deleted.


  • #69
    daisybelle2008
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭daisybelle2008


    Bambi985 wrote: »
    some people are just atrociously bad with money. it never occurred to them to save and they just squander it all on booze, nights out, fags, trips away, etc
    this fella is still living at home, hasn't found it within him to become an independent adult in 37 years so it's very possible he's just pissing away his money and living pay check to pay check.

    Yeah I get frittering away your disposable income and not saving, living pay check to pay check as you say.. It's the debt thing I don't get.
    At 37 with a decent job and high disposable income, getting into debt is hard to understand.


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