Asking grown children to pay for housekeeping

noel100

3 children 2 now working full-time one with child.
3rd child repeating final year of college.
Degrees paid for by me. Been broke for years paying for them going to college, holidays etc bills for the house, ask 2 who are working to contribute towards housekeeping. Getting a lot of resistance. Only a nominal amount of money 50euro a week.
Would free me up to spend some of my income on other things that have been neglected.

Does anyone have issues charging housekeeping. When I was young living at home it never was an issue for me.

Like to hear other people's thoughts.

Hope this is the right thread.

PirateShampoo

I would go as far as 100 per week each if they aren't contributing to bills and food and 50 from the other one still in college.

listermint

Tell them they need to pay 100 per week, or its time to find their own place.

Sorry Noel but you are being taken for a ride, i paid up to the folks since i started working at 16. 50 quid is pennys.

They are not paying it because they can get away with it and they now have free extra money. Unfortunately in that they are not learning any financial responsibility at all.


Tell them how it is.

Dial Hard

There's one particular poster who reacts to this like a bull to a red rag and I'm sure they'll be along shortly, but it is absolutely the norm in every family I know, and is only right and fair in addition, imo.

James Bond Junior

I'm in my 20's and if I could have my housing, bills and food paid for 400 pm I'd be on cloud nine!

CPTM

As soon as I graduated with a degree it was 300€ per month to live at home. That was for everything (bills and food). That was just over 5 years ago.

noel100

My eldest 24 and the abuse I got of her after subizing her all her life .
Told her if she wasn't happy move out.
She said I'm trying to ruin her chances of saving so she can move out....

eurasian

OP, i feel for you, but I agree you have to deliver this directly they will contribute or will have to support themselves independently.
You worked your @$$ for them to get education and this is what you getting back. Not good. They will never learn unless you'll show them how.
You're their parent, not other way around.

CPTM

50 euros is completely fine if someone is working in my opinion. It shouldn't have an impact on the budget of a working person who hasn't got rent or bills to pay, even if they're trying to save.

Stand your ground OP, you've done enough getting them this far!

judeboy101

is the one with child not getting money from father?

Mrs OBumble

If a 24 year old gave me abuse in my own home, they'd be packing their stuff and moving out quick-sharp!

100 per week for anyone who's working or on the dole.
50 per week for anyone still at college.

And before nox gets here - the only exception is if they kids are putting in hours working in a family business (farm or otherwise). In this case, things are different because they are making an economic contribution. But most families aren't in this situation.


OP - one way to scare them into leaving: start talking about how whoever's left at home will end up looking after your in your old age.

Ferrari3600

I suggest €80 a week from each with a 20% discount for the 'kid' still at college.

Might as well formalise it. Get them to set up direct debits.

naughtysmurf

I've said it before on a similar thread, if I was working & living at home & contributing zero financially, I would be embarrassed & ashamed

noel100

The daughter with child was getting money I don't know if she still is.
Her and boyfriend(father) want to rent but can't afford to. My wife minded her child while she finished her last year college as both were at college. They are slowly getting it together but has been great cost financialy and emotionally.

duffman13

Haha chuck them on there ear if shes 24, that's taking the piss. My missus had to pay a third of her earnings to her parents. They paid her way all the way through college and if she wanted a night out it was from her part time job.

Her parents made it clear when she started working full time that whatever she earned she paid them a third. She got into the habit of paying a third, saving a third and using the remaining third for day to day. It taught her financial responsibility so when we moved in together she was well prepared. I always thought a third was too much but when ya break it down, 450 or 500 a month roughly for all your cooking, washing, rent and bills is amazing. Most people would bite your hand off.

I personally paid 100 a week and then moved out when I was fairly young, your kids are treating you like a doormat. Show her this thread

Dick phelan

Living at home myself and giving 100 a week to the parents, 50 is taking the piss tbh, i actually offered my folks more but i am trying to save atm so their happy with 100, as hard as it may be, tell the two working it's 100 or find their own place if they had to do that it would cost them an awful lot more then 100 a week bills on top.

bmwguy

Yep. Make them pay. Only fair and good life lesson.

Deagol

My daughter started paying 60 a week as soon as she was finished education.

There was no discussion about it. She'd been primed for it since she first mentioned finishing out school, deal was as long as she was in school / college I'd cover it, but once education was finished she paid her way.

She started moaning a few times but I told her she either paid or found a place of her own. Fair deuce, she moved out a couple of years later and hasn't looked back since.

Mister Jingles

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

100 per week for anyone who's working or on the dole.

If your refering to this about someone who is under 24 you realise your suggesting that they hand up there full dole payment ?

noel100

I know I was paying 140 a week for my youngest daughter rent a room in a house beside DCU.
50 euro isn't much. The economy has improved. Jobs are available you have to pay your way.

languagenerd

If they're working part-time, you could set a percentage of wages rather than a set number. I work very irregular hours so I give my parents an agreed percentage of my earnings each month. So I give more when I have lots of hours but less if I have a random low paycheck. But I also buy a lot of my own food and stuff for the house. €50 is quite low amount to ask for tbh unless they're on zero-hour contracts.

Mankyspuds

20% of their income, thats fair. So, if they have an entry level job, say 300 take home, they contribute €60 and they have €240 to play with. I wouldn't moan at that deal if I were them. If there is three of them on the same sort of money thats 200 nicker thats your lecky and grub for all of you for the week right there. If they are insured on your car, they have to cough up for that seperate.

or

get them all to take a bill each

split the food bill equally

and then look for a smaller amount for household upkeep/maintenance say 10%

They'll be jumping at the 20% option in a heartbeat

infogiver

noel100 wrote: »

My eldest 24 and the abuse I got of her after subizing her all her life .
Told her if she wasn't happy move out.
She said I'm trying to ruin her chances of saving so she can move out....

I get you. The more you give the more they want.

infogiver

Mister Jingles wrote: »

If your refering to this about someone who is under 24 you realise your suggesting that they hand up there full dole payment ?

If they need money to go to a job interview then they can get that back.
€100 is to cover food heating and clothes.
If you've no job you can't afford fags beer or anything like that.

newacc2015

Ferrari3600 wrote: »

I suggest €80 a week from each with a 20% discount for the 'kid' still at college.

Might as well formalise it. Get them to set up direct debits.

What most people don't seem to realise in 2017 is that if you graduate without a 2.1 or higher, you might as well not have bothered going to college. A degree without a 2.1 is not worth the paper it is written on...

OP could ask their child for the €65 or so per week for the bills. If that results in their child taking on another shift at the cost of study. Their child might as well quit college now. Where is this child supposed to get this money? Some college courses can be 40 hour week of lecturers plus study and commuting. Yet the child is supposed to work enough on top of that to contribute to the household?

That 'kids' only objective after failing and having to repeat the year is ensuring they get a 2.1. Anyone thinks otherwise doesnt understand the importance of a college education in todays workforce

JOSman

I charge €75 a week all in (major battle to get that) but put all of it away into a savings account, for the day they need it. A little bit of forced saving without the knowledge.
I cover all food and utilities in the house.

davedanon

Wow. Some fine examples of humanity here. Do any of you actually want your children around at all?

I get that some people may be really financially stretched, and that contributions from working children is an economic necessity, but somehow I doubt that's the case for everyone.

If the OP had to pay for degrees in full, then the household income must have been over the grant threshold. I know what that is, having been through the process myself. It's not insignificant, in my opinion.

For our part, we have one 24 year old who's been through college. Overall about half his fees were covered by SUSI grants, the rest by us. He's working, but it's the same McJob he had while in college. Our daughter is also working, but it's also a mickey-mouse job, with effectively a zero-hours contract (I'm not sure she actually has a contract). Third son is still in school.

My/our view is that unless we absolutely need the money, we won't take rent off them until they are holding down a 'real' job that pays decent money. They buy their own clothes and so forth, and none of them drive. As long they're not looking for beer money off us, I'm happy with that.

As I said, I get that some people genuinely need the contribution. We're not well-off by any means, but we both work, and we can afford this situation, so far.

All I've seen so far on this thread is mean-spiritedness, and a bunch of people who want to impose their own parents' standards on their children. I lived through the 60's and 70's. There's loads of reasons not to want to go back there.

All of you who are so keen to get rid of your kids. What are you going to do when they're not around? How will you feel if they feck off to Australia for 5 years? Be careful what you wish for.

Hollister11

I'm 21 and in my 3rd year of college. I don't pay anything, as my focus is on college, but even when I was working part time, my parents didn't want money. When I start working F/T they don't want anything either, mainly because my dad didn't have too as his parents were loaded. My mum had to pay up though. They cover everything for me food, clothes, transport, college fees ect. When I was working I was dropped and collected.

My parents do everything for me and my brothers, there reason being quote "it's are job". No I'm not one of these who can't look after myself. I can cook, clean a house, do whatever needs to be done. My parents don't need to teach us about learning the cost of living, as me and my brothers are financially save regardless.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

Asking a working son or daughter to contribute, fair enough.

I don't get why so many people think €50 should be the going rate for someone at college. Unless they have a job earning decent money at the weekend and/or evenings, I wouldn't expect a student to have €50 to hand up. I was absolutely skint when I was in college.

Dwarf.Shortage

Largely agree with most of the posts but anyone who expects a full time student to hand up €50 every week (outside cases of extreme financial need) needs to get a grip of themselves.

The deal with any decent college course is you're skint for 4 years despite the fact you're "working" (studying) full time then (relatively) comfortable for life, why would you make those 4 years harder on your own child by choice?

College should be the best years of your life, not a battle to pay bills.

davedanon

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote: »

Asking a working son or daughter to contribute, fair enough.

I don't get why so many people think €50 should be the going rate for someone at college. Unless they have a job earning decent money at the weekend and/or evenings, I wouldn't expect a student to have €50 to hand up. I was absolutely skint when I was in college.

I think it was €100 for someone on the dole in one case. I think that probably qualifies as child exploitation.