My beautiful racist girlfriend

brickmauser

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

she cites plenty of bad experiences but nothing outstanding. Getting ripped off by a few Euro etc.

To thw person who asked what I mean by racist, I'm not naming the nationality but yes it's clearly racism. We're not talking a qualified opinion on "some people from x", etc. She wants none of these people in the country

Which nationality or race?

campo

I've a feeling this was a great experiment by the OP, There is no GF let alone a racist one he just wanted to see how racist the Boardsies are.

Well played OP, I especially liked how you never mentioned what race it was you just left it to others to spite their hate for such groups.

And everyone got it from Muslims to the Chinese and to Africans (not the white ones mind they are OK) to Travellers

People should remember there is only one race and that is the human race

everlast75

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow-nuHCTA5E

sbsquarepants

campo wrote: »

I've a feeling this was a great experiment by the OP, There is no GF let alone a racist one he just wanted to see how racist the Boardsies are.

I don't feel like a real tyrant would poll randomers to see how he should treat his uppity beatch.

Annasopra

AnGaelach wrote: »

It's a sensible progression to ensure wider security in a State, it's the natural progression of tribalism. It makes sense for groups of people to look for security and similarity - just as if I find an Irish person abroad I'm more likely to strike up a conversation with them than I would with people of other nationalities. We might not have a lot in common, but the chances are we've more in common and shared experiences than either of us would with other nationalities. Nationalism is inherently logical.

I didnt ask if Nationalism is logical or not.

Annasopra

AnGaelach wrote: »

Because my reaction to meeting other Irish people abroad is instinctual. I don't premeditate the actions of actively seeking out Irish people to meet. You might not be nationalist, but it is inherent in me - so yes, it is innate.

Thats a learned cultural response so therefore it cannot be innate. Nationalism isnt something a person is born with.

BrokenArrows

With the amount of detail given its impossible to say what he should do.
He might just be oversensitive and the comments are not racist.

Different races do have good and bad traits that are true and acknowledging them isn't being racist.

However if she is constantly going out of her way to bring up her opinions about it then thats a different story.

MadDog76

campo wrote: »

I've a feeling this was a great experiment by the OP, There is no GF let alone a racist one he just wanted to see how racist the Boardsies are.

Well played OP, I especially liked how you never mentioned what race it was you just left it to others to spite their hate for such groups.

And everyone got it from Muslims to the Chinese and to Africans (not the white ones mind they are OK) to Travellers

People should remember there is only one race and that is the human race

Huh? What about the Grand National or the Tour De France??

Demonique

Lemme guess, it's Romanians because shes confused Romanians and Roma

campo

campo wrote: »

I've a feeling this was a great experiment by the OP, There is no GF let alone a racist one he just wanted to see how racist the Boardsies are.

Well played OP, I especially liked how you never mentioned what race it was you just left it to others to spite their hate for such groups.

I think you're over thinking this. No offence to this forum but i dont think anyone's idea of a good time is running clandestine social experiments on boards.ie. I'm a 30 year old man with a racist ex girlfriend and a headcold, not a sociology researcher.

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I don't feel like a real tyrant would poll randomers to see how he should treat his uppity beatch.

I didn't insert the poll, I hadn't even thought of it, Ken did it. Interesting results though.

BrokenArrows wrote: »

Different races do have good and bad traits that are true and acknowledging them isn't being racist.
.

I'd rather say that cultural differences predominate in other societies, e.g. mysoginy seems common in saudi Arabia. But it would still be wrong to assume every Saudi you meet is a sexist dick, that Mexicans are lazy workers, or that every Irish person is an alcoholic.

As I said earlier, we all carry around a certain amount of instinctive bias based on stereotypes. That's human. But it's wrong to act on them, or to apply them to people you've only just met, or will never meet because of an inability to criticise your instincts.

'Races' most certainly do not have personality traits. That's patently false and yes, racist.

Ken.

I made a mistake in locking this a little while ago. Hands up I misread some posts. Miltiades, I can close the poll if you want.

finooola

My sister had to dump a hot, intelligent, funny, rich homophobe years ago, and none of her mates told her she was overreacting. Yes, dump her.

HellSquirrel

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Thats a learned cultural response so therefore it cannot be innate. Nationalism isnt something a person is born with.

Weell. We don't really know that. Obviously a person isn't born with innate Irishness (or any other nationality or race you like to pick), but we do have an innate clannishness that extends first to our immediate group - family, and then to a wider clan group, be it town or nation.

Being -against- people who aren't of that group is the negative side, and it had its evolutionary advantages in the past. If your group needs more resources, it's a lot more easy to go throw out those subhumans over there than to approach them as a fellow clan-group with full rights to be there.

Which is part of what the backlash against this form of clannishness, the negative, racist (or bigoted) part that focusses more on "not like me". Politically, most of the west at the least has hedged itself in with politics to prevent attacking each other (and Europe's natural state of being is to be at war with itself!), and followed this with a social defanging of nationalism. In some countries, such as Germany and Sweden, this may have gone to the point where people no longer feel as much part of the national identity, hence part of the backlash to the backlash.

Went on a bit, but in short, I wouldn't go so far as to say that it is entirely a learned response. It is a response that is natural for the young of a group to affix swiftly to what their group is for self-preservation. It may not be neccessary now, but we're working against millennia of social evolution.

Macstuff

When in college (now almost 20 years ago) my then very close friend started dating a girl who turned out to be racist and homophobic.

Her racism wasn't directed at just one nationality, it was literally towards any group who didn't meet 2 basic criteria i.e. they had to be white and their first language had to be English. Within that narrow grouping, people certain white Irish people on social welfare were also not welcome in her world.
I will give you a few examples of some of the things she came out with just to paint a picture...
One evening at their house she saw an African family drive by in an old car and she complained that they were bringing down the tone of her neighborhood. A couple of months later, I was again at their house and she saw an African woman drive by in a very nice car and she wondered out loud what crime she had committed to be able to pay for such a nice car. I pointed out this contradiction between these two incidents and she just laughed at the inconsistency.
They got married about 7 years after meeting and had kids and she announced that they were sending their kids to the Gael Scoil and not the educate together as "there would be too many foreign parents, most of whom would not speak English" and "what would she have to say to them at the school gate?"

At the beginning I put with her as I was close to my friend and enjoyed his company. I did challenge her on her views every so often, but always in a polite logical way. I think my friend was aware that her attitude was inappropriate and every so often he would make a few jokes about it and try to laugh it off.

Over time my friend has changed so much so that we are no longer friends and IMO it has been down to her influence. He went from being extroverted, life and soul of the party, to being a guy who stood in the corner on his rare nights out, not being able to chat about anything except their kids.
The friendship began to die years ago and I saw less and less of him over the years - he'd never come to visit our house and I'd only see him if I called to see him at home which meant listening to her views. I used to do that but got sick of it being a one way relationship.
The fatal blow to our friendship came 2 years ago when he started expressing some really horrible homophobic views. I called him to talk about it a few days later but he thought I was over reacting to his "jokes". Our conversation was civilized on the subject but I've just had enough. We've never spoken or seen each other since.

IMP the OP has done the right thing by dumping this girl. In my experience people who are racist usually have other traits that are unacceptable. I now avoid them pretty much as soon as I hear the first racist rant.
Interestingly this girl had very few friends during the years that I knew her. As an example, at their wedding, there were about 60 guests. Two were hers - her Mam and brother, the rest were my friends. Pretty telling.

sbsquarepants

HellSquirrel wrote: »

Went on a bit, but in short, I wouldn't go so far as to say that it is entirely a learned response. It is a response that is natural for the young of a group to affix swiftly to what their group is for self-preservation. It may not be neccessary now, but we're working against millennia of social evolution.

Why do you think it's not necessary now?

I think it's the kind of forced togetherness we've had for the last number of years that has lead (in part, coupled with economic problems, fundamentalism etc) to the surge in nationalism / racism we're seeing now. The countries of Europe for example have been hacking each other up since time immemorial, now we have the monty pythonesque situation of the Germans telling the rest of Europe they should be a bit more friendly, a bit more cuddly, like good old uncle Fritz.
Governments, (for largely good intentions I think, but what is the road to hell paved with?) go all Basil Fawlty in these situations, but their people don't - this kind of don't mention the war policy just breeds resentment - who the fúck are you to lecture me on compassion when you've twice tried to take over the world and committed genocide, in the attempt destroying the whole of Europe and causing the deaths of tens of millions directly and probably hundreds in the mess that followed.
A fair question for any normal thinking person, do you not think?

Enter a LePen or a Farage with a bit of the old "they took our jobs" waffle and the great unwashed are ripe for revolution - these days more so with their votes than with guillotines but the same thought processes pervade and in reality we're only ever a kick in the arse away from breaking out the rifles, our veneer of sophistication is just that, it could conceivably be stripped given the right chain of events.

We are not all the same - it's not only incorrect, it's actually dangerous to insist we are.

HughWotMVIII

HenryHill wrote: »

My girlfriend has views like this about Africans and I don't blame her to be honest.

*Choice words with expletives directed towards the both of you*

Africa is a continent about three times the size of Europe with 54 countries and more diversity between its peoples than anywhere else on the planet. Why do people like you choose to overlook that?

Sincerely,
An African :rolleyes:.

_Jamie_

MadDog76 wrote: »

So if some heavty lad tried to steal my phone and I called him "a fat f*cker" would you take from that statement that I hate all fat people or that I hate him because he's fat?

Or would it be more logical/reasonable to assume my dislike of this one particular individual is based on the fact he tried to steal my phone as opposed to him being fat ........ ???

In this instance, yes, 'fat' is being used pejoratively. And you well know it. Same as calling someone a 'black bitch' is drawing her skin colour into the equation in a denigratory manner. Of course you will argue that 'fat' and 'black' aren't being used pejoratively in the above cases but it's not remotely believeable. Whatever, your view is just tedious devil advocate nonsense anyway. :cool: Call someone a 'black bitch' in front of others and a good chunk of them will think you have racist leanings. That's the reality.

A Little Pony

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

wakka12 wrote: »

Well, has she had some kind of altercation with somebody of this race/nationality that has coloured her view of them? My mother is somewhat in opposition of the Roma community, to put it lightly, as she had a few incidents with them throughout the years including 2 robberies and the attempted kidnapping of my sister who was only about 5 at the time! So my mum is in no way racist, in no way bigoted to any other races but she's just not a big of the Romas since these incidents..

I'm sure your mum is no racist, and yes we all have instinctive bias. There's nothing necessarily wrong with an instinctive reaction to a bad experience. But we're all intelligent humans. We cant allow ourselves to be dominated by our instincts. Otherwise we're no more intelligent  than cattle.

Humans are very much like cattle. Follow the leader. Except we are easier to believe in propaganda.

Del.Monte

Poll sucks, should be an option - should she dump him? Has my vote.

cnocbui

Rainman16 wrote: »

She's not racist. If her prejudice is for a specific nationality, that's just a bit of zenophobia, and she may have her reasons.

What nationality are we talking about here?

If she's Israeli, and hates Palestinians, Maybe her prejudice is somewhat justified?

Perhaps she is a Palestinian and hates Israelis, which of course would be completely unjustified.

HellSquirrel

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Why do you think it's not necessary now?

I think it's the kind of forced togetherness we've had for the last number of years that has lead (in part, coupled with economic problems, fundamentalism etc) to the surge in nationalism / racism we're seeing now. The countries of Europe for example have been hacking each other up since time immemorial, now we have the monty pythonesque situation of the Germans telling the rest of Europe they should be a bit more friendly, a bit more cuddly, like good old uncle Fritz.

Yeah, those are all real problems and partly to do with the speed in which a social revolution took place. Remember why Europe so desperately united when it did. It had just gone through two devastating wars that engulfed the continent, killed millions and destroyed countries. Not only was it economically weak, the people as a whole were traumatised and wanted to make it impossible for a third such war to take place. That's the background of the push for unification. And also, we've come to the realisation for the most part that we can't make other groups subordinate, it conflicts with reality, it's wrong and so it's verboten. Prior to that, nationalism and racism were both survival traits because war was a very real possibility at any time. We're currently in a position where Europe has been having its second-longest period of peace in known history (I think the Pax Romana is still the longest - also built on unification, albeit with taking over countries involved).

At this stage, the world's economy is based on international, worldwide trade. In short, the drive to unification is based on vested interests in keeping the world stable/peace. The more recent drive to nationalism is a reaction to the resultant loss of national identities. And maybe because adults today are the first generation to be wholly untouched by the memories of the last world war and its aftermath.

Sorry if this sounds too slating against nationalism, that's not really my intention and it does have its benefits. But it has serious downsides as well. Unification does too, but -overall-, they tend to leave less people dead unless some countries are being sucked dry by others, which overall, hasn't really happened. It has also opened up world trade and -generally- greater food security. The biggest countries have paid more and some of them are resentful of it, but it's not a Treaty of Versailles deal.

Mr. FoggPatches

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Lads just for clarity again, I have not asked for advice. I'm confident enough of my own opinion.

I'm asking whether anyone has dated a racist, or if not, whether you would date a racist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIGAZnk5Iwo

Ice-T knows


probably best not to watch this near anyone with ears.

homerjay2005

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

No. Its nothing like that. There's No social experiment. It's an open and shut case of disliking any and every person from one particular part of the world, who are usually pretty identifiable from race & other attributes.

Nobody I've spoken to IRL denies that she's saying racist things. They just differ on whether or not racism is a reason to end things, or at least not so soon.

if she was to say she doesnt for example like Cork people or people from Donegal, based off her experience with them, would you have a problem with that?

or you just focusing on the fact that these people are not irish and you perceive that to be a problem and thus, racist?

she is guilty of generalisation, which is a massive characteristic of Irish people. slightly prejudice or intolerant, but Racist? i dont think so.

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I'm sure your mum is no racist, and yes we all have instinctive bias. There's nothing necessarily wrong with an instinctive reaction to a bad experience. But we're all intelligent humans. We cant allow ourselves to be dominated by our instincts. Otherwise we're no more intelligent than cattle.

so how come you say that particular posters mother isnt racist because she dislikes Roma Gypsies, but your missus doing the same, is racist?

FatHeadFred

Africa is a continent about three times the size of Europe with 54 countries and more diversity between its peoples than anywhere else on the planet. Why do people like you choose to overlook that?

Probably because none of the African sovereign states are in the EU yet only 38% of Africans resident here actually work. They're meant to come with work visas. Huge numbers scammed their way in here. The majority don't work. The natives are obviously not going to be too happy with that!

HughWotMVIII

FatHeadFred wrote: »

Probably because none of the African sovereign states are in the EU yet only 38% of Africans resident here actually work. They're meant to come with work visas. Huge numbers scammed their way in here. The majority don't work. The natives are obviously not going to be too happy with that!

I have a PPS number. I lived in Ireland for almost three years as a full time student. I didn't work so I was counted among the Africans who didn't work. It doesn't mean I took advantage of the state. And yet people like you will gladly hang on to that statistic because it helps you rationalise and justify your bigotry.

Yes, sure, some African immigrants in Ireland abuse the system. There are crooks and unsavoury characters in every population. My question still remains: why tar an entire continent with the same brush? Would it be so hard to judge the individual?

Special Circumstances

ken wrote: »

Hands up I misread some posts.

It's easy to miss out on 50% of someone's post. They are the ones who deserve the paddlin, not you.

sbsquarepants

_Jamie_ wrote: »

In this instance, yes, 'fat' is being used pejoratively. And you well know it. Same as calling someone a 'black bitch' is drawing her skin colour into the equation in a denigratory manner. Of course you will argue that 'fat' and 'black' aren't being used pejoratively in the above cases but it's not remotely believeable. Whatever, your view is just tedious devil advocate nonsense anyway. :cool: Call someone a 'black bitch' in front of others and a good chunk of them will think you have racist leanings. That's the reality.

No I'm with mad dog here.
It is entirely possible to use someones skin colour or appearance to describe them (even negatively) without it being in any way racist.

I hate that black bitch, in no way implies you hate them because they are black. It's just a descriptive term to narrow down which bitch in particular you hate.

Take Thiery Henry - I hate that black cheating French cúnt.
It has nothing to do with him being black or French - I know other French people who I like, I know other black people who I like, I can even combine the two and say I know other black French people who I like.
I have nothing against black people or French people - I just don't like that particular person and he happens to be both black and French.

Dave_The_Sheep

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Take Thiery Henry - I hate that black cheating French cúnt.
...
I have nothing against black people or French people - I just don't like that particular person and he happens to be both black and French.

While I don't disagree with you for the record - devil's advocate here - the obvious return question is, why don't you just say "I hate that c*nt", leave the rest out.

Unless you're picking one c*nt out of a lineup of c*nts, and it's purely for necessarily-descriptive reasons of course - then absolutely.

sbsquarepants

You could equally ask why not just say "I dislike that man" (possibly sexist I suppose) so "I dislike that person" but it's not much of a rant is it!:D

I do get your point by the way. I'm just stating that referring to someones race is not in and of itself a racist remark. It's the same as saying go see that baldy bloke, or that blonde girl. Neither racist, baldist or blondist.

Go down the corridor and look for the black fella - sometimes it's just the most obvious differentiating factor. If you are black, and someone refers to you as being black - that is merely a statement of fact.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

sbsquarepants wrote: »

You could equally ask why not just say "I dislike that man" (possibly sexist I suppose) so "I dislike that person" but it's not much of a rant is it!:D

I do get your point by the way. I'm just stating that referring to someones race is not in and of itself a racist remark. It's the same as saying go see that baldy bloke, or that blonde girl. Neither racist, baldist or blondist.

Go down the corridor and look for the black fella - sometimes it's just the most obvious differentiating factor. If you are black, and someone refers to you as being black - that is merely a statement of fact.

I asked earlier and nobody really responded, if you heard someone say "Oh I hate that Irish cúnt", would that not give you any pause for thought about how they feel about Irish people?

And I don't think anyone would actually hear that, because it's not something that would be said in earshot of an Irish person. Just like "Oh that black cúnt", if you have a black friend, would you say that in front of them? If not, why not?

I've had bad interactions with black people and I've referred to those people as stupid bastards, ignorant bitches etc. But when I'm unleashing a string of negative invective against them it doesn't occur to me to include the colour of their skin in that, and I do think it says a lot about somebody if that does occur to them.