Taking people's questions literally

paralysed

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Anymore lip from Kate?

I'd hardly expect sarcasm out of a mod. What's boards coming to!?

Maximus Alexander

paralysed wrote: »

I'd hardly expect sarcasm out of a mod. What's boards coming to!?

He's eating his breakfast Kate.

riclad

When people say how are you ,its like saying hello.
They don,t want to know how you feel right now.its just small talk.Life would be hard for someone who takes every question seriously and literally.

floraldream

"Get the London lo-"
"Im eating my breakast kate"

RiderOnTheStorm

Guy I used to work with would answer the question "Can I ask you a question? " with... "You just did. Did you mean 'can I ask 2 questions?' ...."

paralysed

riclad wrote: »

When people say how are you ,its like saying hello.
They don,t want to know how you feel right now.its just small talk.Life would be hard for someone who takes every question seriously and literally.

Read the thread and don't mansplain to me.

KERSPLAT!

The thread that keeps on giving

DanMurphy

Wife...'but it's Tuesday night..an' we always ...you know Dan...we always do IT on Tuesday nights....'

Dan...'I'm havin' my breakfast Kate...'

wil

Why does this thread even?

What's for breakfast?

DanMurphy

All Bran, apparently, but Corn Flakes or a boiled egg would suffice, but are irrelevant in the context of the question.

Boom_Bap

I'm Ron Burgundy?

Teddington Cuddlesworth

My son is in that kitchen eating a bran biscuit.

No Kate, no he's not

BOHtox

I was walking down Exchequer Street the other day and there was a tall guy, about 6 ft 6, wearing a hi-vis yellow jacket. He worked for amnesty. I wasn't exactly in a rush but I'm a student who only works 20 hours a week and after driving lessons, insurance, food, transport, copies, books for college I don't have much left. He flagged me down with a big wave. He said "how ya doing today there man? Can I talk to you today about Amnesty International"

"I'm eating my breakfast Kate". That was it. Swerved like a pro

Yourself isit

Well I for one have ordered my "I'm eating my breakfast Kate" tee-shirts for myself, all the family and friends.

Yourself isit

One of the (many) things I find odd about the first post is not that the op said "I'm eating my breakfast Kate" but when he said it. If a neighbour entered my kitchen at breakfast time I wouldn't let her speak and that would be third of fourth on my list after "Who the fcuk let you in","get out I'm not dressed you plonker", "where the fcuk did you get a key", and only eventually after much cursing get around to shouting that I was eating my damn breakfast for chrissakes, Kate.

paralysed

BOHtox wrote: »

I was walking down Exchequer Street the other day and there was a tall guy, about 6 ft 6, wearing a hi-vis yellow jacket. He worked for amnesty. I wasn't exactly in a rush but I'm a student who only works 20 hours a week and after driving lessons, insurance, food, transport, copies, books for college I don't have much left. He flagged me down with a big wave. He said "how ya doing today there man? Can I talk to you today about Amnesty International"

"I'm eating my breakfast Kate". That was it. Swerved like a pro

Ah go way! Seriously, how much of that story is true?

riffmongous

Yourself isit wrote: »

Well I for one have ordered my "I'm eating my breakfast Kate" tee-shirts for myself, all the family and friends.

Would be good for an AH Beers

DanMurphy

riffmongous wrote: »

Would be good for an AH Beers

What a great idea!

Can I have one Riff....puleeeeeeze?:pac:

DanMurphy

Yourself isit wrote: »

One of the (many) things I find odd about the first post is not that the op said "I'm eating my breakfast Kate" but when he said it. If a neighbour entered my kitchen at breakfast time I wouldn't let her speak and that would be third of fourth on my list after "Who the fcuk let you in","get out I'm not dressed you plonker", "where the fcuk did you get a key", and only eventually after much cursing get around to shouting that I was eating my damn breakfast for chrissakes, Kate.

Let's back up there a minute
'I'm having my breakfast and in bounces Kate (my next door neighbour) in her high heels and flimsy nightie, clutching a bottle of Vino.
'Husband's just left for work, she pouts...and then I thought of you here all alone...'

'I'm having my breakfast Kate....'

maudgonner

I think you're all ignoring the bigger question here...


What the hell happened to Helen? :eek:

Shannon757

maudgonner wrote: »

I think you're all ignoring the bigger question here...


What the hell happened to Helen? :eek:

Kate killed her.

osarusan

RiderOnTheStorm wrote: »

Guy I used to work with would answer the question "Can I ask you a question? " with... "You just did. Did you mean 'can I ask 2 questions?' ...."

My father used to say 'Of course you can, the question is may you."

maudgonner

Shannon757 wrote: »

Kate killed her.

I think...<gulp>...maybe Kersplat did.

His is the last edit in the post....

DanMurphy

I think Helen lives two doors up but hasn't been seen for a while.
She and Kate (rumored) to have been 'an item' in the past but it finished when Kate began 'visiting' the OP at awkward times, i.e. when he's busy eating, having a shower, etc, but the penny hasn't dropped yet that it's HIM Kate wants.
Meanwhile, it's been whispered locally that Helen also fancied the OP, but left it too late to make her move.

RiderOnTheStorm

osarusan wrote:

My father used to say 'Of course you can, the question is may you."

Yup. Perfectly right :-)

Saw a kid in a shop ask "can i get a pink shnack?" And the shop-keep said -No, you can't get it. You dont work here. I will get it for you. You should have said "May I have a pink shnack" -

Miss Demeanour

I was in hospital during the week and was given tea and toast to eat after procedure.
In walks the nurse and says 'Hi my name is Kate, how are you feeling?'
How I didn't choke on what I was eating is beyond me.....and although it was going around in my head I managed to resist "I'm eating my breakfast Kate"

Muscles Schultz

paralysed wrote: »

Isn't it amazing how stupid you can look if you take a silly or patronising question at face value? Do you think it's often best to answer a question with a question? or else address the reason you think they're asking it.

For example, years ago when I'd no place to park and I moved some cones outside a house on the street that were blocking a space. The house owner obviously wanted that space for himself. When I came back that night, he came out and said "what do you think I put those cones there for?" Know what I mean? I'd of looked pretty stupid if I answered the question. I replied "what da ya think I moved them for?"

Another example I've come across... in front of everyone this arrogant woman asked "are you happy to see your sister (who I don't get on with) back from Australia again?" I managed to reply "ohh happy isn't the word!" But gee, the fcuking b1tch had the nerve to put me on the spot like that!

I recently I had an neighbour (Kate) come in the door when I was eating all bran for breakfast. She asked "are you on the all bran John?" Instead of just saying 'yes', I replied "I'm eating my breakfast Kate" as if to make her question seem annoying and redundant. I'm not a bloody zoo animal after all! And there's nothing more annoying than being asked a question when you know they've their mind made up as to what the answer is. To this I often just say "which answer will shut you up faster?"

Another one I certainly hate is "are you excited?" It's a bit of a double edged sword. Isn't that a question that girls ask each other? Can't think of many such questions now, but ones such as these below (some which I found my way out of) can be just bloody well annoying:

"And what was your job in preparing the xmas dinner?" with the family listening - "to sit back and give them the pleasure of serving me!"

When in a noisy bar, a fella asks "so tell me what would you do at work on a daily basis" - "as little as possible" that shut him up!

"Why did you decide to wear that?" - "is it making you uncomfortable?"

When the salesman was making his pitch "you'd be happy to save money, right?"

After making my pitch as a salesman, the lady asked "and then will I be satisfied?"

"Did you get your father a present for his birthday?"

"Will you miss me?"

"How old are you?"

"You're a smart young man right?"

I would love a follow up on this. It is my favourite post ever

mr_fegelien

Is said person autistic? That is one of the hallmarks of someone on the autistic spectrum

Thanks for resurrecting this thread, I missed it first time around and now I finally understand what “I’m eating my breakfast Kate!” Is about!!

nthclare

Can I tell you a question, do see you...