Taking people's questions literally

paralysed

Isn't it amazing how stupid you can look if you take a silly or patronising question at face value? Do you think it's often best to answer a question with a question? or else address the reason you think they're asking it.

For example, years ago when I'd no place to park and I moved some cones outside a house on the street that were blocking a space. The house owner obviously wanted that space for himself. When I came back that night, he came out and said "what do you think I put those cones there for?" Know what I mean? I'd of looked pretty stupid if I answered the question. I replied "what da ya think I moved them for?"

Another example I've come across... in front of everyone this arrogant woman asked "are you happy to see your sister (who I don't get on with) back from Australia again?" I managed to reply "ohh happy isn't the word!" But gee, the fcuking b1tch had the nerve to put me on the spot like that!

I recently I had an neighbour (Kate) come in the door when I was eating all bran for breakfast. She asked "are you on the all bran John?" Instead of just saying 'yes', I replied "I'm eating my breakfast Kate" as if to make her question seem annoying and redundant. I'm not a bloody zoo animal after all! And there's nothing more annoying than being asked a question when you know they've their mind made up as to what the answer is. To this I often just say "which answer will shut you up faster?"

Another one I certainly hate is "are you excited?" It's a bit of a double edged sword. Isn't that a question that girls ask each other? Can't think of many such questions now, but ones such as these below (some which I found my way out of) can be just bloody well annoying:

"And what was your job in preparing the xmas dinner?" with the family listening - "to sit back and give them the pleasure of serving me!"

When in a noisy bar, a fella asks "so tell me what would you do at work on a daily basis" - "as little as possible" that shut him up!

"Why did you decide to wear that?" - "is it making you uncomfortable?"

When the salesman was making his pitch "you'd be happy to save money, right?"

After making my pitch as a salesman, the lady asked "and then will I be satisfied?"

"Did you get your father a present for his birthday?"

"Will you miss me?"

"How old are you?"

"You're a smart young man right?"

Frigating

"Why did you decide to wear that?"

"I'm eating my breakfast Kate"

Am I doing this right?

The_Valeyard

I guess I just picked a bouquet of oopsie-daisies.

DanMurphy

Jeez...I'm goin' back to ****in' bed

Father Hernandez

"How was your Stephens Day, good night?"

"I'm eating my breakfast Kate"

Barry Badrinath

DanMurphy wrote: »

Jeez...I'm goin' back to ****in' bed

The Internet goes through phases Dan.

It used to be a marvel with a wealth of knowledge at your finger tips.

Then this shyte came along.

Miss Demeanour

I don't understand this game.

Archeron

Person 1 "ah howya"

Person 2 "Aw, I've an awful pus filled boil on my arse...."

Person 1 "What? Ew, gross. I don't care, f*ck off"

DanMurphy

I'm a bit hung over and sleepy Frosty, so maybe I read the OP wrong (the 20 times I read it)

Anyway, so poor Carrie Fisher died. RIP.

Good job I never became famous or I'd be dead by now, another victim of 2016.

lawred2

paralysed wrote: »

Isn't it amazing how stupid you can look if you take a question at face value. It's often best to answer a question with a question, or else address the reason you think they're asking it.

I recently I had an neighbour come in the door when I was eating all bran for breakfast. She asked "are you on the all bran John?" Instead of just saying 'yes', I replied "I'm eating my breakfast Kate" as if to make her question seem annoying and redundant. I'm not a bloody zoo animal after all!

Another one I certainly hate is "are you excited?" It's a bit of a double edged sword. Isn't that a question that girls ask each other?

Can't think of many such questions now, but ones such as these below can be just bloody well annoying:

"did you get your father a present for his birthday"
"why did you decide to wear that?"

I think the answer is 42

Hande hoche!

"What is the meaning of life?"

"I'm eating my breakfast Kate"

Barry Badrinath

DanMurphy wrote: »

I'm a bit hung over and sleepy Frosty, so maybe I read the OP wrong (the 20 times I read it)

Anyway, so poor Carrie Fisher died. RIP.

Good job I never became famous or I'd be dead by now, another victim of 2016.

I dont even think the OP knows what he's on about.

lawred2

Theory of relativity?

I'm eating my breakfast Kate.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

This has changed my understanding of 'literally'.

I've figured it out!!

"Get them spuds in ta ya"

"I'm eating my dinner Kate"

DanMurphy

The OP's neighbor sounds like her who lives indoors here, but her name isn't Kate, so it's not her.
Anyways, we don't know anyone who eats Bran...except one of O'Brien's calves, whose sick and needs the ruffage (or so the Vet'nary says)
Had an Uncle once who lived to be 93...swore by the old ruffage. He had a dog called Bran...or was it Brandy. (Feck it my memory's shot)
Or was it he swore by Brandy, and had a dog called ...what the **** was his name....Spot...Ahh Yes, Spot was his name.
Now I can't remember what we called the Uncle.

DanMurphy

Frosty McGiggleShaft wrote: »

I dont even think the OP knows what he's on about.

He might be Paralysed...?:D

Annasopra

Is Bran the dogs name?

DanMurphy

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Is Bran the dogs name?

No Joey, t'was definitely Spot. You see he had a spot on his cheek, that's why the Uncle called him Spot.
Did you know the Uncle at all?
Gas man, by all accounts.

Poor Spot got run over by a Morris Minor back in the summer of '62.
(During Kennedy's visit...they never traced the car though...you see, all the Guards were in Limerick to mind the President)

But I digress...sorry OP...what was he on about again?

foxy farmer

It's Irish logic.
A mother rings her son in Australia for a chat. "What are you doing now?" she asks him.
"Talking to you on the phone." he replies
More people ask questions that most people wouldn't ask because it's the the height of nosiness and ignorance. 2 farmer brothers that I meet from time to time have this unfailing habit of asking me how much land and how many cattle I have. What would be referred to as a guards question. Once would be more than enough but every time I meet them I get those 2 questions. It's not dementia either. Only cure is to fob them off or give totally off the wall figures that vary from the time before.

lazybones32

I no longer ask "How are you?" as a way of saying 'hello'. Some stupid b*tch actually told me - in detail.

paralysed

foxy farmer wrote: »

Only cure is to fob them off or give totally off the wall figures that vary from the time before.

I think people are beginning to understand what the thread is about!

Widdershins

What's a Breakfast Kate?

s4uv3

Widdershins wrote: »

What's a Breakfast Kate?

It's what you eat when the neighbours call.

indioblack

DanMurphy wrote: »

No Joey, t'was definitely Spot. You see he had a spot on his cheek, that's why the Uncle called him Spot.
Did you know the Uncle at all?
Gas man, by all accounts.

Poor Spot got run over by a Morris Minor back in the summer of '62.
(During Kennedy's visit...they never traced the car though...you see, all the Guards were in Limerick to mind the President)

But I digress...sorry OP...what was he on about again?

Just to muddy the waters - "What are you doing now?" means "What are you doing in general?"
At work I was using the photocopier. Dan asks me, "What are you doing?"
"I'm using the photocopier, Dan."
What he meant was, " What do you think your'e doing?"
What he meant could have been "You shouldn't be using the photocopier", or, "You're doing it wrong." [I was doing it wrong].
In answer to his first question, [keep up!], I should have said, "I don't know how to use the photocopier, Dan".
I love clear communication.
Who was Dan?
Wasn't he your uncle?
Yeah, Christmas has been a drag this year - must get out more.

Miss Demeanour

indioblack wrote: »

Just to muddy the waters - "What are you doing now?" means "What are you doing in general?"
At work I was using the photocopier. Dan asks me, "What are you doing?"
"I'm using the photocopier, Dan."
What he meant was, " What do you think your'e doing?"
What he meant could have been "You shouldn't be using the photocopier", or, "You're doing it wrong." [I was doing it wrong].
In answer to his first question, [keep up!], I should have said, "I don't know how to use the photocopier, Dan".
I love clear communication.
Who was Dan?
Wasn't he your uncle?
Yeah, Christmas has been a drag this year - must get out more.

No in answer to his first question you should have replied "I'm eating my breakfast Kate".....you keep up!

Turtyturd

'Are you riding your wan?'

'I'm eating my breakfast Kate.'

indioblack

Miss Demeanour wrote: »

No in answer to his first question you should have replied "I'm eating my breakfast Kate".....you keep up!

Ahh.
Thank you, Miss.
Who was Kate again?

Water John

Bran was Setanta's dog.

bb1234567

I remember you from another thread where you told an old lady to go stuff it for telling you youd far in life or something. Going off that and this, and some other posts, you seem overly aggressive with people for no apparent reason. Everyones not out to get you ,you know

Miss Demeanour

indioblack wrote: »

Ahh.
Thank you, Miss.
Who was Kate again?

You're welcome.
Kate is Johns neighbour.