Most creative excuse you've ever used?

buried

beks101 wrote: »

I often think this would be massively liberating. But there's such etiquette around this isn't there? Saying "nah not arsed" will typically be translated as you being a massive prick and that message will spread throughout the office/social circle like wildfire. "She said she 'just wasn't arsed'! Can you believe it??!'

You can never tell that's the actual case though. Sure, those people might say that out in the open herd, peer pressure world, but they could all be saying to themselves at the same time "wow, she just does what she wants to do and doesn't give a fook, I wish I could do that too"

charlietheminxx

Kidney infection! Can't drink, can't go to crowded places where you might need to queue for a bathroom. You can still eat and act normal otherwise (no point faking a tummy bug or a croaky throat and then getting called out for being grand the next day as you tuck into a big lunch or answer the phone sounding not croaky at all).

I've had a couple of (genuine) kidney infections over the last couple of years and I remember thinking it would make a good excuse!

You're welcome.

DopeTech

Knex. wrote: »

I obtusely avoided the question by texting back, "can't right now. I'm watching the panel".

Ha that is the funniest thing I've seen is ages!

tomwaterford

Can't. ....have clothes drying in front of the fire



Used that 50/50 real/made up to get out of/allow being late for something

Pac1Man

beks101 wrote: »

I often think this would be massively liberating.

Trust me it's wonderful!

You might be surprised at people's reactions. There are very few people who will openly tell the truth when asked a difficult question so it's very intriguing and refreshing when you find someone who does.

Ironically it's sometimes easier to take it one step further. Last year I said something like, "I spend 8 hours with you(s) every day. You don't expect me to go out and socialise as well do you?". It was taken well.

To be honest if someone took offence to a simple but truthful 'no' answer, they're not the kind of person who I would worry too much about.

Try it! (and record it and show us)

Sirsok

Rang in sick to work one day when I was working in a grocery store, got caught out on the town the same night. Get called unto office next time I was in, asked why I called in sick and then went out.

Told them I had violent diarehha, and how I promised my girlfriend I would go out, since I had inmediate access to toilets while I was.out I felt like I could keep my promise to her, but since the toilets in work were upstairs and I would have to leave the till every time, it just wasnt logical for me to come in.

I really hit the diarrhea angle hard until she just had enough and I never heard another word of it

darkpagandeath

You could get away with a cold like...

baldtooyoung

Sirsok wrote: »

Rang in sick to work one day when I was working in a grocery store, got caught out on the town the same night. Get called unto office next time I was in, asked why I called in sick and then went out.

Told them I had violent diarehha, and how I promised my girlfriend I would go out, since I had inmediate access to toilets while I was.out I felt like I could keep my promise to her, but since the toilets in work were upstairs and I would have to leave the till every time, it just wasnt logical for me to come in.

I really hit the diarrhea angle hard until she just had enough and I never heard another word of it

Violent diarrhoea.never used that one.its good.I find if you drop in the word "explosive" it works a dream too
Nobody wants to visualise anyone spraying aggressively all over the bowl.
Good work.good work.

The most common one for me though and I reckon a lot of people was in school.I must have had 47 dead grannies,109 uncles and 88 aunts.anytime I went on the hop someone died.talk about bad luck.haha

Robsweezie

on the topic of honesty

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdwQntqI-ts

mojesius

baldtooyoung wrote: »

Violent diarrhoea.never used that one.its good.I find if you drop in the word "explosive" it works a dream too
Nobody wants to visualise anyone spraying aggressively all over the bowl.
Good work.good work.

The most common one for me though and I reckon a lot of people was in school.I must have had 47 dead grannies,109 uncles and 88 aunts.anytime I went on the hop someone died.talk about bad luck.haha

The dead granny is a tough one to pull off nowadays due to social media. My friend pulled a sicky in work after a heavy night saying her granny died.

Cue a load of co-workers posting on her fb page - 'thinking of you and your family right now', 'sorry to hear about your granny'. Family members started contacting her in a collective panic that something happened to their granny.

It's a risky one.

baldtooyoung

mojesius wrote: »

The dead granny is a tough one to pull off nowadays due to social media. My friend pulled a sicky in work after a heavy night saying her granny died.

Cue a load of co-workers posting on her fb page - 'thinking of you and your family right now', 'sorry to hear about your granny'. Family members started contacting her in a collective panic that something happened to their granny.

It's a risky one.

Ya couldn't get a away with it now.no way! People can't have a wazz now without somebody tweeting it now.but the late 90s early 00s ya could.happy days

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Pac1Man wrote: »

Trust me it's wonderful!

You might be surprised at people's reactions. There are very few people who will openly tell the truth when asked a difficult question so it's very intriguing and refreshing when you find someone who does.

Ironically it's sometimes easier to take it one step further. Last year I said something like, "I spend 8 hours with you(s) every day. You don't expect me to go out and socialise as well do you?". It was taken well.

To be honest if someone took offence to a simple but truthful 'no' answer, they're not the kind of person who I would worry too much about.

Try it! (and record it and show us)

There was 21st birthday drinks one place I worked. When one of the girls was finished her shift the day before (she wasn't on the next day) she gave the birthday girl a card and said 'Here you go, happy birthday, I won't be coming tomorrow because it's in a pub and I don't like pubs, so I don't think I'll have a good time', really made me like her!

My sister (as a teenager) once went to stay with friends and ended up being about 36 hours late getting home, she was supposed to be on the last bus that evening or she was going to be killed. Rang my mother and told her she'd missed the bus because "Steph was getting the same bus and it came early and we were going to have to run and Steph couldn't run because she's only got little legs and I couldn't just leave her there"

Mister Vain

Ahh the dreaded office parties. I never came up with anything really creative. I usually just say its too far or I couldn't be arsed because there's no free meal, or I'd be afraid I'd get drunk and call the boss a bollocks. One time I said a few of us in a different department were having a party of our own but that came back to bite me in the arse after the others denied it.

Pac1Man

Blaine Alive Symbolism wrote: »

There was 21st birthday drinks one place I worked. When one of the girls was finished her shift the day before (she wasn't on the next day) she gave the birthday girl a card and said 'Here you go, happy birthday, I won't be coming tomorrow because it's in a pub and I don't like pubs, so I don't think I'll have a good time', really made me like her!

:cool:

PM me her number.

Agricola

My dog ate my granny and then I had to go to her funeral.

I said

Left work one day early to go on the sess,rang the boss and told him id passed wind rather violently and was to embarrassed to tell him in person I had to go home and change my trousers.

Broken Hearted Road

A long time ago when we didn't have a TV licence and the licence inspector came to the door, I told him that my mother was back in the fields milking the cows.

cantdecide

Migraine.

No one in the history of the world has ever had a real migraine because they don't exist outside of headache tablet tablet box printing factories and the minds of those who can't think of better excuses - this goes especially so for the person who's considering claiming that they're real and if I ever had one I'd know all about it.

maudgonner

cantdecide wrote: »

Migraine.

You need a brain to know what a migraine feels like. Which explains things...

:pac:

_Whimsical_

I haven't had to draw on my creative reserves for excuses to much recently so I can't think of one.

The most creative one I've ever been given however was from a girl, I won't say friend, that I was to have lunch with on what turned out to be the hottest day of the year. She didn't show up and after an hour I rang her. She told me that the Moon was in her sign that day and she had been drawn towards the water and was now at the beach and would come meet me but felt it was really better that she "try and stay by water" that day.

We did not reschedule.

lazybones32

On a morning that I didn't want to go to work, I'd smoke a joint and call in sick in person. There not being a smell of booze sold the trick nicely. Stayed in good graces for making the effort to show up despite being sick...that earned me a lot of ill-gotten goodwill.

I used try and drink enough oj to make myself sick to stay off school but to no avail.

mansize

Too much effort. I cant go.

Why?

You make me want to eat my own face